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Two months later:
Anna walked the corridors of Rosenlund castle. Her smooth leather boots hardly made a sound on the floor, and she surprised more than one servant as she came walking with quick steps. Everyone was running back and forth preparing the visit by Jonathan and Maria. They could be here any minute. Anna looked out of a window facing the courtyard for the hundredth time that day. Still no sign of them.
Rooms were still being readied; the last tidying was still being done. Servants with their arms full of fresh linen, brooms to do the final sweeping, and buckets of water for cleaning, hurried to make every room ready.
Even though Anna had felt that they had started preparations for the visit in good time, they were far behind now. Only good thing was, that she was dressed for the occasion. She had put on the light blue silk dress that she wanted to be wearing when the king and queen arrived with their court, when she got up that morning. It was impossible to say, what time of day they would be here, and she might as well herself be as ready as she could.
She had not been this nervous in a long time. Hosting the king and queen and most of the court was a great honor, even for someone that knew them as well as she did. She wanted the entire estate to look as perfect as possible and everything to be splendid from the food to the music that would be played during dinner on their one month stay with her.
Anna had never known the amount of work that it took to manage an estate the size of hers. Now she understood why her father had always been busy. But with the help of good people, she had gone through the past couple of months without that many troubles. She could do this and do this alone. She was sure of it.
The amount of work had actually been good on her. She had not had that much time to think about her father nor about Valdemar – or Wulfric. He had left Aunt Mathilda’s estate as she had asked him to. She knew that he had stayed as Grubbesholm for two weeks, until he had finally returned to court.
Anna had been tempted to call on him or send him a message, but she still felt unsure about her feelings for him. She could not believe that his crush on her had prevented him from marrying the mother of his child. Despite the fact that it seemed he had done everything in his power to do the right thing.
There was something unnerving about the fact that he had a child with someone else. And about the fact that she had clung to him so fiercely both times they had made love, that it had been all up to him to prevent a pregnancy. Anna was still not sure what it meant. But she could not, should not sleep with him again, until she had figured it out. Despite desperately wanting to.
Anna spotted Joana, who was still in her service, when she crossed the main hall. The girl was carrying two large baskets of wood and could hardly hold on to them.
“Put one down, Joana, I do not want woodchips all over my clean floors,” Anna said with a smile. The girl put one basket down at the foot of the stairs.
“It’s so exciting!” Joana said with a big smile. “The king and queen. I can’t believe it. Will Lord Rosenkranz come as well?”
Anna hurried up the stairs on her inspection of the house.
“I don’t know,” she said with her back to Joana. “But I guess so. He’s one of King Jonathan’s most trusted men.”
She turned at the top of the stairs and looked at Joana.
“Remember, that you can’t talk to him, unless he talks to you. That goes for all the noble people, including the king and queen.”
Joana nodded with a solemn look on her face, as she made her way up the stairs with one of the heavy baskets with wood.
Anna moved on down the corridor, checking that everything was being done. When she looked out the window again, she saw one of her stableboys come running into the courtyard.
“They’re here, they’re here,” he yelled.
Anna jumped with fear as she heard a loud banging behind her. Joana had dropped the basket with wood on the floor and there was wood everywhere.
“Joana, you’ll pick that up, right now,” Anna said breathlessly as she ran past the girl and down the stairs. Many of her staff had already assembled in the sunshine in the courtyard, ready to greet the king and queen.
Anna stood at the front quickly correcting her hair and dress. A couple of horses rode over the drawbridge followed by the carriage with Maria and Jonathan. Anna smiled broadly, until her eye caught the glimpse of blonde hair on one of the men riding behind the carriage. Wulfric. Her heart seemed to skip a beat. She would have to talk to him, although she had no idea what to say.
The carriage stopped in front of her, and Jonathan was the first to exit. Anna curtsied deeply and could feel that her staff either bowed or curtsied behind her.
“Lady Harold, it’s so good to see you,” Jonathan said and held one arm up as if he was about to hug Anna. Then he lowered it seemingly remembering that they were in public, and it would be inappropriate for them to hug.
Maria was helped out of the carriage with the young Princess Cilla in her arms. The girl was asleep with her head rested on Maria’s shoulder. Anna could not help but smile broadly. Maria was one of her closest friends and she had not seen her in more than a year. She felt like hugging her tightly but knew that it had to wait until they were in private.
She curtsied deeply again.
“Your majesties, welcome to Rosenlund Castle,” she said and led the way into the castle and up the stairs to the large room that had been prepared for the occasion. Maria handed the sleeping child to one of her ladies and grabbed hold of Anna’s hand.
“I can’t tell you, how happy I am to see you,” she said. “You look a lot better, than last time we saw you...”
“And a lot happier,” Jonathan added.
“Who would have thought, that managing a large estate would suit me this much?” Anna said and turned to greet the noble guests that were starting to come up the stairs.
Wulfric was one of the first and Anna curtsied and mumbled:
“Lord Rosenkranz, nice to see you again,” but did not have time to say anything else before she had to greet the next person, who turned out to be Nicholas Lewinus. Anna could feel her smile from seeing Wulfric again fade, as she quickly greeted the earl to move on to the next.
***
Anna had been so busy, that she had not had time to find Wulfric. She did however manage to get time alone with Maria when they took a walk in the castle garden the next day. They walked arm in arm around the garden, that Anna already had so many ideas for.
“Cilla is the most adorable girl, I’ve ever seen,” Anna said affectionately.
“You’d say that whatever she looked like, but thank you,” Maria said with a smile.
“No, it’s the curls,” Anna said. “She looks positively cute with them.”
Maria giggled and Anna turned her head to look at her quizzingly.
“Jonathan’s hair curls like that when it grows long. That’s why he keeps it so short,” Maria said with a broad smile.
Anna smiled as well, trying to remember whether she had ever seen Jonathan with long hair. She had not, she realized.
“Well, that explains it. It looks cute on a girl, but I gather that it would not suit Jonathan that well with curls.”
They walked on in amiable silence for a while.
“Was Jonathan disappointed that it was not a boy?” Anna asked. It was something that she had wondered about and felt, that she could ask since Maria was her closest friend.
Maria hesitated for a moment.
“Yes,” she then said. “I mean, he adores Cilla, but with everything that happened with my brother and with nearly half of the nobility supporting his claim to the throne, Jonathan would have felt much safer if he had a son.”
“I understand,” Anna said and felt sad on poor Cilla’s behalf that her gender should matter to either of her parents. She did not doubt their love for her though.
“We’re working hard on a son, but nothing has happened so far,” Maria said, and Anna could tell by her distant gaze and subdued voice, that she was afraid that it would not happen for them. Everyone had thought that Maria was barren, and Anna supposed that she was afraid that Cilla would be their only child.
“I’m sure, that everything will work out for you,” Anna said and squeezed Maria’s arm. Maria looked briefly at her and smiled sadly.
“I hope that you’re right,” she said. “So, I have a confession to make,” Maria said, and her tone of voice changed.
Anna looked at her surprised but could not blame her for wanting to change the subject.
“You might have wondered, why we asked Lord Rosenkranz to escort you?” Maria went on, smiling conspiratorially now.
Anna nodded absentmindedly trying to remember, whether she had wondered. She had in the beginning. Now she could not imagine being escorted by anyone but Wulfric.
“Well, did you know, that he is in love with you?” Maria said and smiled broadly.
“Yes, but I think that it was only a crush,” Anna said and led them to a bench surrounded by lavender.
“You knew? For how long? Why haven’t you ever told me?” Maria said.
“I thought that you knew as well. His emotions seemed written all over his face,” Anna thought of the many looks that Wulfric had sent her over the years. To her it seemed almost impossible that Maria had not known earlier.
“I had no idea until a couple of months ago. He kept asking how you were and whether I’d heard anything from you... So, did anything happen between the two of you?”
“What? On the journey here? No,” Anna said and did not look at her. She picked a lavender flower and started fiddling with it. It sent cascades of its sweet dusty scent into the air.
“It’s a shame, he’s such a nice man, and the two of you would be perfect together...”
“Don’t you start as well...”
“Who else have suggested that?”
“My Aunt Mathilda. I don’t know if Lord Rosenkranz told you, but we stopped by her estate. As soon as she saw that I was with him, she went on about how we would be the perfect match, since we would be the greatest landowners in the country – besides Jonathan of course.”
“Very romantic,” Maria said sarcastically. “But an arranged marriage can work out wonderfully, look at mine.”
“You and Jonathan are the exception. Most people in arranged marriages are at best ignoring each other and at worst fighting like cats and dogs. No, I’m not getting married. When I can’t have Valdemar, I don’t want anyone,” Anna said determinedly.
This was what she had decided after all. The past two months she had not contemplated whether she should marry Wulfric, merely whether she should sleep with him again.
“I have to admit that your situation in many aspects seems ideal,” Maria said and picked a lavender flower as well.
“In many aspects?” Anna said a bit too harsh when she brushed the lavender seeds of her dress. “How about in all aspects?”
Maria’s hands stopped fiddling with the lavender but held the flower still in her lab as she turned to look at Anna.
“I know that you don’t think that you’ll love another man, like you loved Valdemar, and perhaps you’re right, that you never will. But what about children, Anna?” Maria said softly.
“Don’t you start on securing the Harold line and having an heir as well...” Anna said defensively.
“I’m not talking about children as being heirs. I’m talking about them as someone to love. I never imagined that I’d be able to love Cilla this much, and I longed for a child for all my adult life. Sometimes I even think the love I feel for her is deeper than the love that I feel for Jonathan... although of course, you can never tell him that,” Maria added with a slight smile.
Anna smiled back but only briefly. She did not know how to respond and instead got up and walked around in front of the bench. She did want children. Valdemar’s children. But since she could not have them, she did not know any more.
“I don’t know about that,” she finally said.
Maria got up and took her arm again.
“No, there’s no reason, why you should decide now. You still have plenty of time. I’m sure that if you want to marry, you’ll be able to find someone that will be nice to you. And if you want my help just let me know.”
Anna smiled gratefully.