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Wulfric thought of what he would say to Anna, as he headed up the stairs in the castle. He could not be patronizing. He was certain that she would love him eventually, but on the other hand she needed to know that he was there. That he would wait for her. Not forever but for some time at least.
He smiled, as he walked down the hallway to her room. Peter Goodwin was right; he could not simply give up on her. He had loved her for so long, and then the moment she turned him down, he had thrown his attention at someone else. He needed to show her, that he would wait for her. At least for a while longer. He had not decided for how long, but at least he could wait for another few months. Perhaps even a year. All though it seemed like a long time.
Anna’s door was just ahead of him, only five or ten feet. His palms had started to get sweaty, and he dried them on his tunic. The door opened in that moment and Wulfric thought that he might be spared the hard part of knocking. At least now he could simply say that he wanted to talk to her, and then she would invite him in.
But it was not Anna coming out of the door. It was Nicholas Lewinus. Wulfric stopped moving, even though they made eye contact in that moment. There was no reason however to alert Lewinus to the fact, that he had been walking towards Anna’s room. Wulfric turned and looked at the door that he had stopped at. He had no idea whose room it was but knocked, nevertheless.
When he looked up, Nicholas Lewinus had turned towards Anna. They were embracing, Wulfric realized and felt like the floor was moving under him. It seemed like they were kissing from the way, Lewinus had bent his head. Wulfric had to hold on to the door frame. This could not be happening. This... she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, not with Lewinus. She had seen how Lewinus had beat him up, she had asked him to kick her in order to get out of dancing with him, and now she was kissing him.
“I’m sorry, my love, I just couldn’t resist,” Wulfric heard Lewinus say behind him and then Anna’s door closed. Had Anna known that he was there? Was that why she had kissed Lewinus? She might want to show Wulfric that he wasn’t the only one she slept with. That he should not think that it was anything out of the ordinary that they had slept together.
Wulfric felt sick to his stomach.
“Rosenkranz,” Lewinus greeted him as he walked by.
Wulfric only managed to make a sound of acknowledgement but did not turn to meet his gaze. It could not be anything but smug though. Nicholas Lewinus had not hidden the fact, that he would like to marry Anna.
As soon as Nicholas Lewinus was out of sight, Wulfric hurried to his chamber. He had no wish to visit Anna now. No desire to tell her, that he would wait for her. There was no point in waiting, she had not waited in the least it seemed.
***
The musicians were playing a joyous tune, while several young women danced in the middle of the room. The tables had been pushed to the side and there would be dancing afterwards. Wulfric did not feel like dancing. He did not feel like anything really. He had had a couple of cups of wine but was afraid that he would do something stupid if he drank too much. He remembered last time he had gotten drunk. It seemed like several months ago, but in reality, it was not even a week.
He looked at Anna, standing between King Jonathan and Queen Maria, tapping the beat with her foot. An absentminded smile on her lips. Surely, she was thinking of Lewinus. Of their kiss. Maybe even about how they had made love before. He had called her “my love.” Wulfric wanted to barf.
The ornaments in the cup cut into his hand as he clenched it. He would go to bed as soon as the entertainment was over. Right now, everyone standing or sitting still, watching the performers. Too many would notice if he left now, but the moment people started dancing, he would be able to slip from the room unnoticed. He sighed with relief as the lute player drew out the last tune and he clapped along with everyone else.
In the bustle afterwards it was easy to slip out to the cool and mostly empty corridor. He took a deep breath and slowly started walking towards his room, not wanting to attract attention.
“Lord Rosenkranz,” a soft voice said behind him, and he turned around, suppressing another sigh.
“Lady Katarina,” he said and smiled. She looked lovely tonight in a green dress. He could tell that her maid had taken care, when arranging her hair as well. Green ribbons had been braided into it.
“Lord Rosenkranz,” she said again and then they were just looking at each other.
Wulfric assumed that she had had some reason to call out for him and waited for her to say something. When it seemed that she didn’t, he figured he might say something.
“I was just heading to bed,” he said.
“No!” Lady Katarina burst out. He had never heard her speak with such great volume before. “I mean no, aren’t you going to dance?”
Wulfric smiled a little at her outburst.
“Not tonight, I’m feeling tired. But you should go have fun.”
Lady Katarina did not answer but bit her lip.
“It’s awfully hot in there,” Lady Katarina then began.
“Yes, there’s a lot of people,” Wulfric said, looking at his boot-covered feet, then looking at Lady Katarina’s feet in low cut boots in pale yellow leather. “Well, I was just going...” Wulfric said and turned half-way around again.
“Do you think...” Lady Katarina began and then stopped. She was looking towards the ceiling, or maybe towards heaven for help. Her face was flushed completely red. The blush was spreading to her neck. “Do you think that we could go for a walk in the garden?” she said and managed to look at him, as she said the last part before she looked away again.
Wulfric knew that the two of them should not be alone in the garden. Even though it was still a light summer’s night, they should not be on their own.
“Where’s your mother?” Wulfric asked.
“She’s inside. She won’t realize I’m missing, if we go for a quick stroll,” Lady Katarina said, a bit rasher now it seemed. She did look over her shoulder towards the dining hall.
“Just a couple of minutes then,” Wulfric said. And just because she had looked so nervous but had been able to overcome it. He did not want to let her down.
Lady Katarina beamed at him as she came to walk beside him towards the castle garden. Wulfric was afraid that she had read much more into the situation, than he had thought.
They did not talk much, not when they walked towards the garden, nor when they reached it. Wulfric was still contemplating, what had happened between Anna and Lewinus, then scolding himself for it. He thought about asking her about embroidery or color but didn’t really want to hear about it now.
Lady Katarina commented on the flowers, and they managed a wobbly conversation about flowers and nature in general.
“Lord Rosenkranz,” Lady Katarina said and stopped. Wulfric had to stop as well. She was looking down at the gravel path they were standing on. Clearly, what she wanted to say was important to her. “If you want to kiss me, that’s okay,” she then whispered. She looked at him briefly with wide eyes, full of fear that he would turn her down.
Wulfric looked at her. Ready to reject her. He did not want to kiss her. He liked her, she was an obvious choice for a bride, if all he wanted was someone to give birth to his children and bring a large dowry to the match. But he did not want to kiss her.
Then he remembered Lewinus embracing Anna, kissing her. He looked at Katarina’s intent gray eyes, thinking that he should not kiss her simply to get revenge, to heal his bruised ego. He opened his mouth to turn her down, but in that moment, she placed a hand on his forearm and stepped closer.
The look in her eyes was full of fear and hope at the same time and he realized how much courage she would have had to have mustered to ask him. She was probably a lot braver than him when it came to it.
“Have you been kissed before?” he then asked instead.
Lady Katarina shook her head, her wide eyes still looking at him. They were a dark gray, like granite. She had to have a core like that to proposition a kiss he reckoned.
“I shouldn’t kiss you, not unless we’re getting married,” he said, hoping that she would realize as well and withdraw her plea.
“I know. We don’t have to get married, just because we kiss,” Lady Katarina whispered.
Wulfric nodded. He could give her this. Her first kiss. They were all alone in the garden. No one would know. He bent down and gently placed his lips on hers. At that moment he heard someone on the gravel behind them, feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach. Being discovered alone with Lady Katarina was one thing but being discovered alone kissing her - her parents would be fools not do demand that he marry her right away.