Chapter 24

The sun, as I had predicted at dawn, gave rise to a beautiful midday sky.

Each road we took was more picturesque than the one before it. Sheep dotted sleeping winter meadows, barren trees stood on walled hills, white cottages sent peat-scented smoke out their chimneys.

The beauty mocked me.

It was hard to believe that the sun that shone above us was the same one that had witnessed our battle by the gates. The same sun that had nourished my soul at dawn.

Of course, the sun hadn’t changed. It still sang, somewhere, for someone else’s dawn and it would sing for me again tomorrow. I had the ears now to hear its song and it made me wonder all the more at the divide between the light and dark. How could the Dark have degenerated so much? How could they have turned away from that song? How could any of us?

I could hear Vala in the back of my head, coaxing me to stay strong, to stay on track.

I thought back to the last time I’d seen her.

“Fear is the one true enemy, it leads to all conflict in the world,” she had told me. “True empathy, true light, comes from within by imagining yourself in another's shoes, feeling their pain as your own, their joy as your own. When we face our fears head on, then we can be truly empowered and follow our soul’s purpose here on earth. Our hearts open up, our minds become unclouded and we can see our way more clearly.”

I was still trying to see my way clearly. And I couldn’t quite place myself in the shoes of these dark fae. I just didn’t get it, the compulsion to turn away from the Light. I had been afraid again and again, angry more times than I could count, but there was nothing appealing to me about the Dark side. What did she mean?

“Are you sure about that?” Miko asked me telepathically. “I know you are hurt, but I know you also understand the pain Rowan is feeling right now, and you know how even Alec’s memories of his family’s deaths still affect him. Just take those feelings one step further, and imagine what it would be like if someone had a fear or a pain, and decided that the only way to never feel that way again was to be the one in charge, the one making all the decisions. I’ve heard how these Shades think. They believe that as long as they are in control, they are safe. Some of them even feel like they are doing humans a favor, like everyone else is too weak to make the decision for themselves.”

“But that’s ridiculous,” I whispered. “No one has the right to do that.”

“Of course, not,” Miko answered. “That is the illusion of control. We animals know better than to pretend we have any control over life, death, and the natural order of things. But both fae and humans like to believe they can control the chaos of life. The illusion of control gives them a feeling of safety – until the illusion shatters.”

“I still don’t get it,” I thought. “Don’t they see the pain they cause? The damage they do to people’s lives? To the planet?”

“Oh, come on, you’ve met these people,” Miko persisted as he crawled over my shoulder and under my chin, nestling around my neck, rubbing his ears behind mine own. “Can’t you sense the pain they are in? The emptiness and bitterness they have from believing that they are disconnected from the Light? Of course they are still connected. But by denying the connection, they lose its comfort. It is a very painful existence. Life becomes about survival. About fighting to prove they are valid, valuable beings. Special. They don’t remember that they already are.”

“God, that’s sad,” I said out loud.

“What is?” Alec looked at me.

“Oh, um, just something Miko said about Shades. I’m still trying to work it all out, but I think I am getting closer to understanding how the Dark works.”

“It’s spreads like an infection,” Alec scowled. “Too bad there isn’t an antidote for that.”

“Hmm, maybe there is. I wonder…” An idea was starting to form in my mind, something I couldn’t quite put into words. Somehow, I knew there really was an antidote. If Alec and Miko were right, and the Dark was just a distorted expression of the Light, then that meant that all we had to do was figure a way to light the Shades up again.

Oh yeah. Easy peasy.

“What are you thinking?” Miko asked.

“I don’t know. It’s like this idea is in there,” I thought, but I can’t quite get to it. I’m too distracted, I guess. Maybe it’ll come to me later. I don’t know,” I sighed.

“You okay?” Alec reached over and rubbed my hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine. How much farther do we have to go?”

“Hey, don’t ask me, you’re the navigator.”

“Right,” I drawled. “But my grandmother didn’t mark any distances on this sheet of paper, just the directions. I thought maybe she told you when you guys were talking last night.”

For maybe the first time ever, Alec blushed. “No, we didn’t get to talk about it.”

“Hmm, right. Well, looking at what she wrote, we’ve gone through most of the roads on here, just a few more turns left. Of course, that could mean anything, distance wise.”

“Great. Well, we’ve been driving for a couple hours already, it can’t be too much longer.”

“Hey,” Amber said, leaning over the front seat and pointing ahead. “Didn’t she say the clootie’s near the Slieve Bloom Mountains?”

“Yes,” said Mialloch, “she said the water in the clootie is fed by the water from the tallest hill, Arderin.”

“Well, that must be them, it was on that sign,” she pointed again to a sign as we passed it, and then to the softly rolling range ahead of us to the southeast.

“Ancients below, it’s about time,” Alec yawned. “I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time sitting down in one week.”

Amused, I quirked an eyebrow at him.

“What? First I was on a completely useless mission to Palm Springs, then I had to fly back to Canada, drive to get you, drive back, drive again, fly on the plane again, then more driving, and more driving. I’m an earth fae. That doesn’t mean I like to sit around like a rock.”

“You’re not kidding,” Mialloch snickered. “I don’t think I ever met anyone else that was as restless as you, Ward. Do you know, one of our teachers used to actually tie him to the chair to get him to sit still?”

“That’s terrible!” I exclaimed.

Alec shrugged, smiling in the mirror at Mialloch. “Actually, I think Mrs. Kaxun helped me become a better Guard. If it wasn’t for her, I might not have ever learned how to tolerate hours of surveillance on mission. After a week of being tied to that chair, I managed to master my impulses. But, I can’t say I ever learned to like it.”

“Well, I still think it’s awful.” I shook my head. “Is that a normal thing for teachers to do in Aeden?”

“Definitely not,” Mialloch retorted. “In fact, when my mother found out she went straight to the school and had a talk with Mrs. Kaxun.”

“I didn’t know that,” Alec said thoughtfully.

“Why do you think she stopped? You might think you had tamed your impulses, but trust me, I still had to sit behind you. I don’t think I’ve ever watched someone fidget so much. It was most distracting.”

“Well, lucky for you, you didn’t have to put up with it for long,” Alec chuckled.

“No. You made sure of that when you decided to pursue a different skills track,” Mialloch said with a hollow tone. “We never shared a class again.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window.

Alec frowned, looking in the mirror at his old friend. “I’m not the one who—”

“Alec, turn here,” I cut him off, realizing we’d almost missed our road.

He focused on making the turn, and an awkward silence descended. After a minute, Amber spoke up.

“Okay guys, I don’t want to interrupt the emo bromance you’ve got going on, but we really need to talk about what we’re going to do when we get to Airmed’s. Mialloch, she’s your grandmother. Do you have any tips for how to approach her?”

“Are we even going to be able to get in?” I wondered. “I mean, if Jade has so many wards on her place, what about Airmed?”

“We’ll get in,” Alec said confidently. “Jade says the wards on Airmed’s all focus on scrambling your emotions. If you don’t have a real need to see her, and you don’t already know exactly why you are going there, then as you approach you will become confused and turn back. It’s similar to the wards on Vala’s and the entry-wood in Canada. We should have no problem.”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a ward to me,” I muttered.

“You don’t know my grandmother. She will have keyed the wards very specifically to the entrant’s intentions. She is nothing if not precise, even when she is one of her moods,” Mialloch said.

“Sounds like someone else we know,” Alec grumbled.

I hushed him and looked back at Mialloch. “Okay, so about these moods of your grandmother’s. This isn’t the first time it’s been mentioned that she can be difficult. What do we do if she won’t help us?”

“She will,” Mialloch vowed.

“Don’t worry, Siri,” Alec said, grasping my hand firmly. “Everything is going to work out.”

“I’m not worried,” I said, pulling my hand away. “I just think we should have a game plan. Be prepared.”

“I have a plan,” Alec said, glancing at Amber.

“What do you mean?” Mialloch asked.

“I mean, that I am the team leader and I have a plan. I believe that your grandmother will help us. She has always been agreeable to me. But if she does not…Amber knows what to do.”

I cocked my head, examining him. “Are you going to share your plan with the rest of us?”

“No. I am not.”

“Amber?”

“Sorry, Siri, I have my orders,” she smiled tightly at me, the gesture not reaching her eyes.

“Fine,” I huffed. “Whatever.”

A furrow appeared in Mialloch’s brow. “Alec, if you are planning on harming my grandmother in any way, I must warn you—”

“Stuff it, Loch. Nothing is going to happen to your grandmother. And what would you do about it, anyway?” he taunted.

Mialloch’s gaze turned cold and he just stared at Alec’s eyes in the mirror.

After that, there wasn’t any more discussion. We drove on, and eventually came to a hidden road turning off into a wood. The road was barely maintained, strewn with rocks and sand and small fallen branches. I was glad my grandmother had loaned us her Land Rover.

“Who needs wards? I bet most people avoid this road just because it’s a hazard,” I grumbled, bracing my hand against the roof of the car as we bounced over another rock.

Another hundred yards and we passed through the barrier, the fine hairs along my body rising as they connected with the energy, transmitting the warmth and heat of the ward through my body. We turned a sharp corner, and the road smoothed out into an even, hard packed gravel drive winding through the wood.

Along the way, I started to notice ancient, ragged strips of cloth, gold chains and quaint little effigies made from sticks hanging from the occasional tree. The further in we went, the more of them I saw.

“What is all this?” Amber asked.

“Offerings,” I answered in a hushed voice. “All the clooties in Ireland have them. You leave a bit of yourself when you ask for a healing. It’s meant to be an energetic exchange, according to my mom, though I had a teacher who said it was just a stand-in for pagan sacrifice. With the cloth, the idea is that as it disintegrates with the wind and the rain, it is returned to the earth, feeding the well, and your prayers will be answered.”

“Creepy,” said Alec.

“I dunno,” said Claire. “I think it’s kind of pretty.”

“Well, either way, it means we must be close,” Mialloch said, excitement creeping into his voice.

We turned another corner and had to slam on the breaks to avoid colliding with a massive boulder blocking the road. Two worn footpaths led around either side of the rock.

We all looked at each other, thinking the same thing.

“Not exactly the welcome wagon,” Alec said heavily.

“Nope.” I wondered if anything could ever just be easy when it came to the fae. “End of the line, people. Now, we walk.”