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“I’M OFFICER RUNNING.” A twenty-something year old cop narrowed his eyes as I placed my palm in his. “I’m assuming you’re the suspect?”
“At least his mother brought him up right,” Gertie said.
“Manners might earn him a brownie point, but no cookie.” Ida Belle frowned.
“I asked a question. Is she one of the suspects?”
“She is,” Gertie said without missing a beat. She immediately realized her error but it was too late.
“Why throw a friend under the bus when you can tie ‘em to the tracks and roll over ‘em with a locomotive.” Ida Belle shot Gertie a stern glare. “I’m the only suspect here, Officer Rummy...” Leave it to Ida Belle to take the heat.
“It’s Running,” the officer said. “Like instead of jogging or walking...”
“In that case, is there any chance you have an Officer Creeping?” Gertie grinned. “We get along better with those who keep a slower pace.”
“The dead guy’s in the boat,” Ida Belle said. “So if you don’t need anything else, we’ll be going.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” The officer thrust his hand up to stop Ida Belle. “I have some questions for you and your pals.”
Thanks to Ida Belle’s nudging, I stepped back and let her take the lead. “Hope she has a plan.”
“She always does.” About that time, Ida Belle waved her fingers in Gertie’s direction. Gertie took a coughing fit.
“Are you okay?” I thought it was an act but thanks to the overkill, couldn’t be sure.
Eventually, Ida Belle said, “I’ll tell you what I know but don’t pull up a chair. It’s not a very interesting story.”
Gertie’s ticket to wellness came in the form of a statement instead of the offered bottle of water. She uncapped the top and said, “Can you get a couple for my friends, too?”
The paramedic glowered. “If you want curbside service, hang out at the steakhouse.”
I waited until the paramedic rejoined a coworker at the ambulance and whispered, “Nice acting.”
“It’s been perfected over the years. Ida Belle needed time to put her story together. We should listen so we can follow the script.”
“Halloween?” Officer Running’s outburst drew our attention. “What does Halloween have to do with this?”
“Officer, do you know how old I am?”
“It’s a trick question.” Gertie jiggled her shoulders. “No puns intended.”
The officer ignored Gertie.
“Or treats,” she continued. “We don’t believe in one without the other.”
Officer Running jabbed his thumb in Gertie’s direction. “The sideline show isn’t going to stop my line of questioning.”
“Fortune’s afraid of her own shadow. Gertie and I thought Halloween would be a great excuse for a bayou ghost tour. We felt like if Fortune could confront her fears, she’d feel more at ease in her environment.”
“How’s that working out for you?” Officer Running narrowed his gaze on me. “And what happened over in Sinful? Did the bayou dry up?”
“Part of her fears involve...” Gertie jabbed her index finger at the steakhouse parking lot. “We were there when the shootout occurred.”
“I don’t recall seeing your names on the witness list.” Officer Running turned to me. “Miss...Are they stable?”
“As far as I can tell.” I fluttered my eyelashes. “Why do you ask?”
He tapped his head. “I meant up here.”
I smirked. “No. Not at all.”
“Thanks,” Ida Belle grumbled.
“Ditto,” Gertie added.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Okay that’s it.” Officer Running motioned for two other cops. “Take these two and book ‘em.”
I jumped in front of my sidekicks. “What? Why?”
“Failure to answer my questions in a timely fashion.”
I balked at that. “You consider two minutes sufficient time in a murder case?”
“He can’t take us in for that,” Gertie said, tucking her hands in her pockets as an act of defiance.
“Look around, Ms. Hebert. You’re in Wasteland. Here, we make up the laws as we go along. You of all people should know that.”
Before Gertie could say anything to incriminate herself, I held up my hand in hopes of stopping her. “While you’re making up laws, someone is out there in the bayou laughing at the Wasteland cops who probably don’t have handcuffs let alone a jail. How do you plan on booking Gertie and Ida Belle if you don’t have anywhere to take them?”
A thick silver cuff snapped around my wrist. I jerked. “What do you think you’re doing?” It was pretty obvious.
Ida Belle groaned. “Wasteland has the nicest jail this side of New Orleans.”
“My daddy helped build it,” Officer Running said.
“I’m sure he’s pacing with pride about right now.” I only resisted a little when my arms were secured behind my back. As soon as the second cuff snapped, I heard Carter’s monster truck. A smile tugged at my lips. I wasn’t going anywhere unless Carter took me.
“About time,” Ida Belle grumbled.
Officer Running turned around as soon as Carter left his vehicle. “Did you lose your way home, Deputy LeBlanc?”
“Hello Roger.” Carter bit out the syllables. “Care to tell me why my girlfriend is wearing handcuffs?”
“Girlfriend?” He called me his girlfriend in front of these two? I avoided eye contact with my amused cohorts. Given their expressions, I would gladly spend time in jail.
“Go with it,” Ida Belle whispered. “A bee’s honey is more beneficial than its sting.”
“I’d like to see you just, ‘go with it’ if Walter were here.”
“Now that would be something to see.” Gertie doubled over with laughter, cackling like she’d never laughed before. “If Walter said girlfriend and Ida Belle in the same sentence, she wouldn’t speak to him for a month.”
I turned off the Gertie and Ida Belle sidebar conversation and pinned my gaze to Carter. You’re here. Might as well be useful, Deputy Charming.
The thought had barely left my brain when he said, “I understand. Fortune wasn’t involved but I can’t vouch for anyone else. Do what you have to do. They’ll bail her out in the morning.”