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“I DIDN’T GET A GOOD look at his face but the build is a match,” Ida Belle said.
“The build?” Gertie wasn’t buying it.
“His build.”
“You’re grasping, Ida Belle. Why I asked Fortune for her opinion.”
“Since when do you doubt me?”
“Since you now have thirty years or more to think about all the reasons that we should’ve stayed home last night.”
“Is it too late to ask if we’re packing?” I ducked when the suspect shook the double doors again. Ida Belle and Gertie scoffed in unison. “Okay then.”
“We always have your back if that’s what you’re asking. Doesn’t mean you step out front when you’re unarmed.” Gertie brushed aside her sweater and flashed a palm pistol. “In these turbulent times, I never leave home without a friend or two.”
“You don’t go to the little girl’s room without tagging someone to go with you.”
“I resent the implication.”
“Ladies,” I said, pointing at the front. “We still have company.” Tearing a page from Ida Belle’s book, I changed the subject. “And since when do you conceal and carry without letting me know?”
“Fortune, you’re a target.”
“All the more reason to be prepared,” Ida Belle pointed out. “Besides, if you aren’t packing your nine, I’m not standing here.”
About that time, splintering glass resounded. Ida Belle ducked in the closet, lost her balance, and dropped with a pile of costumes.
Our eyes met and held. She groaned, slipped her hand inside her jacket, and slid an automatic weapon across the floor. “It’s Walter’s. If I don’t make it, give him my regards.”
“Your regards?” Gertie reached inside the closet and withdrew a golf club and a bat. She tossed the club to Ida Belle in passing. “Dust off your britches and act like our backup.”
Ida Belle, never one to take an insult lying down, quickly rose to her feet and marched down the center aisle. As soon as I saw the determination in her eyes, I said, “No one leaves Ida Belle in a corner.”
Gertie gave me a quick high five in passing. About that time, two shots exploded. She went one way and I went the other.
When I looked up, I spotted Gertie squatting next to a display case. She made several hand motions, indicating that I should check a mirror for the intruder’s current location.
I watched for several seconds before he crept in front of the boots and outerwear aisle. Nodding at Gertie, I rounded a bank of shelves and she continued along the back wall. Ida Belle found her spot behind the counter.
“Ladies, I’m just here for the girl! You don’t have to die tonight.”
“Girl? Are you kidding me?” I scoffed. “I don’t see a girl here.”
“Zip it, Sandy-Sue,” Ida Belle warned.
“Is that you, Fortune Redding?”
“Do I detect a little German in that accent, Hamburger?”
“Hamburg.”
“That works too,” I said, shaking my head at Gertie as she crouched next to a round clothing rack. The center was open. I didn’t have to guess where Gertie might appear next.
“Since you have a nasty habit of leaving behind dead bodies, I’m guessing this isn’t a social call.” Ida Belle’s fingertips grazed the top of the counter. It was a sign. I didn’t know what it meant but Gertie undoubtedly understood. I’d follow her lead.
“We can work this out. Give me Redding and you two grandmas can go back to your rocking chairs.”
“Rocking chair or not, I’m still a better shot than you.”
“She can’t swing worth a darn though.” Gertie ducked between denim and flannel. As predicted, she popped up a second later with a lopsided straw hat on her head. Her lips were in a firm line. She didn’t move a muscle. If mimicking a mannequin was her goal, she’d missed her calling.
“You had your chance, ladies.”
Ida Belle popped up with the butt of a shotgun resting on her shoulder. As soon as she lined up a shot, I ducked. An ear-popping blast resounded.
“What happened to the bat?” I didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, I tucked Walter’s gun at my belt and crawled across the floor, devising a plan to cover Gertie from another clothing stand.
About that time, I spotted a true mannequin near the window display. She was a brute of a gal, a woman’s woman. Dressed in camo and waders, she was barely wide enough to duck behind.
“This really is your last chance. Hand over the girl or leave in body bags.”
“Last chance, Ida Belle,” Gertie said, taunting the criminal.
I joined the fun. “By my count, that was the second last chance.”
Hamburg crunched across a layer of broken glass. “The first two were distractions.” He aimed his automatic weapon. “The third one will make me a very wealthy man.”