Luna was surprised the police chief found some extra resources for additional patrol at the Leicki ranch, which negated her having to do the patrol herself. She wasn’t going to argue the unexpected win, relieved that she wasn’t going to have to spend the night out there.
Benjamin was also relieved, but they were both privately shaken by the reveal of Charlotte’s journal.
While they hadn’t found anything else in the house that might’ve led them to this mysterious Book, Benjamin managed to find the personal documents his friend Codi needed to do her deep web sleuthing, which freed them up to handle some personal details.
For Luna, it was spending some time at home with her family.
Sayeh, ever the restless one, was no longer content to sit at home and wait out her downtime while Internal Affairs sorted out her assault charge on a fellow agent.
Now, she was digging into things that needed to be left alone—the death of their parents, which seemed like unnecessary drama as far as Luna was concerned and she’d voiced her opinion as such.
Sayeh didn’t agree. Shocking.
“I’m doing it anyway,” she’d declared and walked out of the room, ending any further discussion.
Luna tried to get Kenna’s support but Kenna didn’t want to get involved and ran the other way as soon as Luna brought up the subject.
Having both sisters home again was loads of fun.
A part of her wanted to bring up the subject of her last conversation with her dad but she was too chicken and put it off. With nothing to distract her, her thoughts stubbornly returned to Benjamin and how she was struggling with her own decision to keep her distance.
Damn, she missed him. There was something comforting about his presence that she’d come to rely on and everything about this case had her nerves on edge. What she wouldn’t give for a night snuggled up to his big, strong body enjoying a beer on the patio.
Knock it off, already. There is no future that includes that scenario.
A deep sigh rattled out of her mouth as she dropped onto the sofa just in time for Ty to wander in looking like someone had just kicked his puppy. “What’s up, buddy?” she asked. “I thought Grandpa was taking you for more driving lessons in the old truck.”
“He had to cancel,” Ty answered with a glum expression.
Luna frowned. “Grandpa isn’t home?” she asked, realizing she must’ve assumed he was tinkering in the shop.
“No, he left in a real hurry. Didn’t say much more than he’d have to take a rain check for our driving time.”
That’s odd. “He didn’t say where he was going?”
“Nope.” Ty brightened. “Do you think he could bring pizza home tonight?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” she answered on autopilot, more troubled by her dad’s behavior. Since retirement, her dad had had two speeds—slow and stop—and he didn’t rush off anywhere. A sense of dread settled in her chest. “You sure he didn’t mention anything? Did he get a phone call or something?”
“Oh yeah, on his cell phone,” Ty remembered. “But it wasn’t a long call or nothing.”
Whoever had called her dad had upset him enough to send him running off somewhere. Luna didn’t like this one bit.
Was her dad keeping secrets? Or was he losing his mind?
At this point, she didn’t know which was worse.
Benjamin was surprised to see Luna at his door but happy to let her in.
“Is everything okay?” he asked with concern as she blew by him, a pensive frown on her face.
Luna didn’t hesitate, jumping right into what was eating at her as if trying to purge it from her system. “No, it’s not,” she answered. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come but I feel if I don’t vent to someone, I might explode.”
“I’m happy to listen,” Benjamin offered.
Agitation rippled around her. He wanted to hold her but he wasn’t going to do anything that might push her away. For now, he was willing to listen. He followed her to the sofa and waited for her to begin.
“I never talk about the things that are bothering me. I stuff it down so I can focus on what needs to be focused on in the moment and nothing gets settled and nothing else gets fixed. I just keep soldiering on to keep the peace because that’s what needs to be done.”
“What needs to be fixed?”
She threw her hands up. “At this point, I’m not even sure where to start.”
“Just say whatever you need to say. I can promise you, I’m in no position to judge.”
Luna flashed a brief smile before continuing. “Sayeh has issues with her childhood and I’ve never really understood why. Bill and Nancy were wonderful parents. Aside from changing our last names, Nancy did everything she could do honor our heritage. I was grateful for everything they did for us and I have no complaints but Sayeh doesn’t see it that way. Sayeh always thought that something was taken away from us when they changed our names and she’s always held it against our parents.”
“Seems like the easy answer for your sister would be for her to change her name back. She’s an adult, she can do that without much trouble.”
Luna frowned as if she’d never considered that possibility but said, “But why is it necessary? I feel Sayeh pulls this crap because it’s incredibly hurtful for no purpose. She’s doing all the same things she’s always done whenever she’s home and right now I don’t have the mental bandwidth to deal with it.”
Benjamin shrugged. “So don’t deal with it. She’s an adult. Let her deal with her own shit.”
“It’s not that easy,” Luna returned with an edge of frustration. “I’m the big sister. I’m supposed to be the one who’s wiser and more mature and able to handle this kind of stuff, but right now I don’t feel like I can handle anything.”
That last part cut him. He hated seeing her so broken up over some perceived failure that wasn’t true. “Give yourself some slack. No one would blame you for not wanting to take on anything extra, particularly in your family. Family stuff is exhausting.”
“You have no idea,” she muttered, rubbing her temples. “And that’s not even the half of it.”
“What else is going on?”
“There’s my sister, Kenna, too, who is very sweet but she’s definitely hiding something. I can feel it. Am I a terrible sister because I haven’t dug into the reasons she ran off in the middle of the night from an abusive situation that was so bad that she won’t talk about it? I should be digging for more information. I should know what happened but I can’t even bring myself to press her for details. I just don’t have it in me to dig.”
He sighed. “One thing I’ve learned is that when people don’t want to share, they find ways to hide the information. If your sister wanted to tell you what happened, she would. You digging isn’t going to make it any better, it’s just going to make her withdraw from you and that’s probably not what she needs right now.”
Luna nodded, her expression mired in misery. “There’s more.”
“More?”
“Now my dad is acting weird and I don’t know if it’s symptoms of dementia or if he’s hiding some kind of secret.”
“What secret could your dad be hiding?” he asked, nonplussed.
“I don’t know,” she admitted in a wail. “But he’s definitely acting out of character and I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like a bad daughter for not chasing my dad down for answers but when I think about it, I get very uncomfortable and I push it down to the bottom of the list.”
“Okay, let’s triage this situation,” he suggested. “You have such a kind, loving heart but you take on more than you should. It’s not your responsibility to be everyone’s solution to their problems.” He reached for her hand, drawing a deep breath before sharing. “Charlotte always took on more than she could handle because she wanted everyone to be okay, but at the end of the day, who was taking on that burden for Charlotte? My sister is dead because she couldn’t ask for help.”
Luna blinked back tears, appalled. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’m so sorry. Here I am talking about my bullshit and you’ve got your own pain to deal with.”
He shook his head, adamant. “No, that’s not the point. I want you to ask for help. I want you to know that I’m here for you. I wish Charlotte had asked me for help. I wish she had called you. I wish she would’ve called someone, anyone, because maybe if she had she’d still be alive. She’d still be alive to be a pain in my ass like she should’ve been, pestering me like a sister should.”
“It’s not natural for me to burden other people with my problems,” Luna said quietly.
“I get it. Look, I’m going to share something I learned from my own therapy that’s helped put a lot of things in perspective. Sometimes the coping mechanisms we pick up along the way work in the moment but they’re not sustainable. I cut a lot of people out of my life, not necessarily because it was the right thing to do but because it was the only thing I could handle at the moment. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of mistakes to realize that instead of cutting people out I should’ve gotten the help I needed for myself. Your sisters are grown-ups. Let them deal with their own stuff. The same thing goes for your dad. If he wants to tell you what’s going on, he will. Unless things get worse, there’s not much else you can do. Give yourself permission to focus on what you can handle. You have enough on your plate, wouldn’t you say?”
Luna wiped at the tear snaking its way down her cheek, accepting his advice. “You’re pretty smart.”
He chuckled. “Not really, I’ve just made a shit-ton more mistakes in my life. They say wisdom is earned. Well, I’ve definitely put in my time.”
Luna’s warm, appreciative smile reached into his soul and squeezed with greedy hands. He could feel the bond between them growing, but he didn’t do a thing to shut it down.
He wasn’t ready to make that call.
But what if he was never ready?
That was the question he wasn’t willing to answer yet.
For now, he didn’t have to.