Although I felt a void in my life at not having Roz and Sheldon as a couple anymore, December brought some consolations. It was Christmas vacation, and all the kids who had gone away to college would be coming home again. Social activities would be picking up.
Danny showed up at my doorstep early Saturday morning the first weekend he was back from school. “Danny!” I shrieked, rushing into his arms for a hug.
Then I stood back and looked him over. He was still way too chubby, but he actually looked pretty good to me—older, more sophisticated and worldly.
I took him into the kitchen to say hello to my parents, who were still eating breakfast. They looked even happier to see him than I was.
“Sit down, Danny. Let me get you something to eat” My mother pushed a plate of rolls, muffins, and bagels in front of him. “Tell us all about college—it must be so exciting!”
Danny dug right in, spreading a heavy layer of cream cheese on a blueberry muffin, polishing it off, and then reaching for a bagel. He felt right at home with my parents. What a difference from the atmosphere when Lenny was in my house. My parents loved Danny.
“Exciting? Well, I guess you could say that,” he managed to reply between bites. “You’re exposed to so many brilliant minds, so many challenging theories. But it’s hard work. I find I have to devote almost all my attention to schoolwork and I have hardly any time for social activities. That’s why I was really looking forward to coming home and cutting loose again with all my favorite girls!”
He looked at me suggestively when he said that and reached out to grab my hand. His grasp felt wet and greasy, and I pulled away fast. “Ugh! What have you got on your hand, Danny?”
He looked. “Oh, it’s only some cream cheese. Here, I’ll let you lick it off for me.” He stuck his hand in front of my face.
I pulled back disgustedly. “Yuck, Danny. Do you have to be so gross so soon after your arrival?” I grabbed a napkin and wiped my hand.
Danny laughed and licked off his own fingers. Surprisingly, my parents, who are normally sticklers for proper table manners, didn’t seem disturbed by his actions. If only they could be so tolerant of Lenny!
“Perhaps now that you’re home, you and Linda could go out together,” my mother suggested. “She’s spending entirely too much time with—with that boy.”
“His name is Lenny, Ma,” I told her, for what must have been the millionth time. I felt like kicking my mother under the table. I didn’t need her to put ideas into Danny’s head about a possible romantic involvement with me.
As I feared, Danny picked right up on her idea. “That’s just why I came over here! I was hoping you’d come to the theater with me tonight, Linda. We could stand on the line in Times Square and get discount tickets to a play.” Danny smiled at me, revealing that he had not yet swallowed the mass of chewed-up bagel and cream cheese. It really turned me off.
“I can’t, Danny. Tonight Chris Berland is giving a party for the kids in the neighborhood at his house.” I was grateful to have this excuse handy. “But you can come—the main purpose is to get everyone together now that all you guys are back from college.”
“Will Fran be there?” Danny perked up immediately. Apparently, he was still interested in her although their entire relationship had been reduced to the exchange of an occasional letter.
“I think so. She said she was going when we spoke about it last. But don’t be disappointed if she’s nothing like you expect her to be, Danny. Fran has done a lot of changing since you last saw her.”
“Probably everyone has, except for you, Linda.” My mother shook her head as she started to clear the table. I guess even she was sick of watching Danny eat. “Would you believe she’s still in love with that boy, Danny? I keep hoping someday she’ll wake up and see him for what he is!”
“Ma, come on! Let’s not start this again,” I said, exasperated. If you asked me, it was my parents who couldn’t see things the way they were. They were willing to overlook all Danny’s faults because they liked him and he did well in school. They were willing to overlook nothing about Lenny.
I didn’t let my negative feelings about my parents put a damper on my good mood as I got ready to go to the party. It was going to be so great to have everyone together again. Our crowd hadn’t had a party for a long time. With the coming of the cold weather, most of the kids didn’t hang out as much anymore. Everyone was busy with homework, after-school activities, and studying for exams. We needed this party to get things going again.
The party started out just fine. Everyone from our original crowd showed up, including Donna, Roz, and Fran. Fran took the pressure off me by being very open with Danny: sitting on his lap, eating off his plate, and flirting with him shamelessly. Danny looked as if he was really enjoying it, but I was worried that he would get his hopes up too high and wind up getting hurt. I knew Fran was having too much of a good time dating different boys to want to attach herself to Danny again.
Faring less well than Danny and Fran were Roz and Sheldon. This was the first time they had been in the same room together since that scene in Nick’s. They might as well have been at different ends of the world. They kept so far apart you wouldn’t even know they were acquainted unless you noticed they were watching each other carefully out of the corners of their eyes, making sure they kept out of each other’s way.
Donna and Billy were getting along for a change; so, except for the undercurrent between Roz and Sheldon, there was no tension in the room. Everyone was filling each other in on what had been going on since the last time we’d all been together. Everyone was dancing and having a great time.
I danced with Lenny and with the other boys, too. I was too busy enjoying myself to notice that he and some of the other boys kept watching the door with an air of expectation.
I was unaware that anything unusual had been planned for this party until I saw a bunch of boys rushing to the door. Everyone began to follow them to see what was going on.
Joel Fudd and Geno Sharp, one of the boys who had come home from college, had made their grand entrance. It wasn’t they who were creating the commotion, however; it was what they had brought with them. They were each carrying an armload of six-packs of beer!
When I saw this, it was as if a red flag of warning popped up in my head. Beer—alcohol—trouble! The associations were immediate, and they were strong. We had never had alcohol at our parties before, and we had all managed to have a good time. As far as I was concerned, those guys were asking for nothing but trouble by bringing around all that beer.
I guess most of the other kids didn’t share my opinion because they all gathered around Geno, who seemed to be in charge. “This is what we do in college to inject life into our parties,” he announced, holding up a can of beer. Everyone cheered and pushed forward to get some.
I wasn’t surprised by the fact that most of the boys wanted to drink; they were always doing stuff they thought made them look “macho.” What surprised me was seeing so many of the girls join in, too. I was glad to see that Roz and Donna kept far away from the beer, but Fran was one of the first to go up and get one.
I got her aside in one corner of Chris’s living room. “Fran, why are you drinking that beer, anyway?”
“Because it’s here,” she laughed. “And I like it!”
“Like it? You mean you like the way it tastes?” My nose wrinkled in disgust at the smell of the stuff.
“Well, not exactly—although it really isn’t that bad once you get into it. But it’s like Geno said—beer drinking’s what the kids do at college when they want to have a good time. I’ve been dating a few college boys recently, so I had to get used to it. If I didn’t, they’d look at me as if I were some kind of unsophisticated little kid.”
She took a sip from the can as she said this, and I could tell by the way she inadvertently screwed up her face that she didn’t really like it. Fran might think that drinking made her look older and more sophisticated, but she was wrong. Fran was even shorter than I was, and she looked younger than her age. The can of beer in her hand made her look silly—like a little girl dressed up in her mother’s clothing and stumbling around in high heels.
I saw I was getting nowhere with Fran, so I turned around to look for Lenny. I found him on the line waiting to get a beer.
“Lenny!” I rushed right over and grabbed him by the arm. “May I talk to you for a moment, in private, right now?”
Lenny looked over at the beer supply as if to assure himself there was enough left so he could still get one before he stepped off the line. “Okay, okay. What is it that’s so urgent?”
I led him to the corner where I had been previously talking to Fran. “It’s the beer, Lenny. I didn’t know there was going to be any at this party.”
“Is that all that’s bothering you?” he laughed. “Come on, Linda. You know how it is when these guys go off to college. They’re so used to drinking that they don’t think a party’s a party unless the alcohol is flowing. But don’t worry about it, you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t. But I don’t want you to drink either.”
“Oh no? Well, why the heck not?”
It was immediately obvious that Lenny found my request threatening. I knew I had to be very careful. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel I was trying to boss him around by telling him not to drink. That could very well make him drink even more.
“It’s not that I want to tell you what to do, Lenny,” I explained quickly. “It’s only that this is the first time we’ve had alcohol at our parties, and it’s kind of scary to me. I’m sure in the future it’ll be easier for me to deal with—if we make it through this party without any disasters. Plea-ease, Lenny, just this once.”
I guess this was the right approach to take. Even though Lenny thought my fears were silly, he was willing to go along with my request—just this once. As the night wore on, I was thankful he had the opportunity to view this party with a clear head so he could really see the effect alcohol was having on our friends.
The jokes they were laughing so hard at were not really funny, but silly and stupid, and the behaviors they were laughing at were, too. But silly and stupid were one thing—it was easy to laugh at that kind of stuff. The problem occurred when the alcohol helped turn silly and stupid to mean, boisterous, and cruel.
The first incident came when a slightly drunk Sheldon stopped avoiding Roz and began following her around, taunting her unmercifully. “Who told you to show your ugly face here at this party, Miss Fancy Buttons? We don’t want anyone tainted by association with weirdo artsy-boys hanging around with us.”
Roz kept trying to get out of Sheldon’s way, but he wouldn’t let her. He kept coming after her for more.
“Come on, Sheldon, leave Roz alone. She hasn’t done anything to you,” Lenny said, trying to calm Sheldon down. But Sheldon was beyond calming. The alcohol had distorted his normally easygoing personality. He was like a man consumed by a mission—a mission to make life miserable for Roz.
It didn’t take too much of this before Roz decided she’d had enough. “I knew it was a mistake to expect you to act civil,” she said to Sheldon as she picked up her coat from a pile that was tossed over a chair. “I hope you’re satisfied. I’m leaving because of you, and it’ll be a long time before you see me around here again!”
“Suits me fine!” Sheldon laughed viciously. “I don’t want to see you here or anyplace else I have to go, for that matter. Get lost and stay lost!”
Roz threw on her coat and was about to start for the door when Donna came running after her. “Wait, Roz! I’ll go with you! I’ve had about all I can take from this maniac for tonight!”
The “maniac” she was referring to was Billy, who was following closely at her heels. I had been so engrossed with Sheldon and Roz, I hadn’t noticed that a fight had started between Billy and Donna as well. It must have been going on for a while, because they were both red-faced and furious when they reached the door.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” Billy demanded. Donna’s reply was to extract her coat, which was a new one I hadn’t seen before, from the pile, and start putting it on.
This infuriated Billy even more. “Oh, no you don’t!” he shouted, grabbing the coat by one sleeve.
“Give me my coat!” Donna tried to pull it away from him. His grip was too strong. He tugged and she tugged. The next thing we heard was a ripping sound as the stitching gave way and the entire sleeve tore off at the shoulder.
Donna looked from the coat, which she held in her hand, to the sleeve, which Billy held in his, with horror. “My new coat! It was a Christmas present from my parents! They’ll absolutely kill me!” she moaned.
Billy seemed sobered by what he had done. He handed the sleeve back to Donna. “It can probably be fixed,” was the closest he came to apologizing. Then he added, “But you deserved it, anyway.”
Donna then did a brave but crazy thing: She grabbed the coat sleeve from Billy, then reached out and slapped him across the face with it—hard enough so the sound could be heard across the room. Then she and Roz left, slamming the door behind them.
Billy was so stunned that he stood there rubbing his face and staring at the door. Then he became aware that everyone was looking at him. “She’s not going to get away with that!” he yelled. “Wait till I—” He began sifting through the pile of coats, tossing them all over the floor as he attempted to locate his.
Fortunately, Chris was close enough to step in and stop Billy. Chris was a big, strong guy, but he could also be gentle, and he knew how to respect girls. “Hey, cool it.” He put a restraining hand on Billy’s shoulder.
“Get away from me, man!” Billy whirled around furiously, ready to strike out. But he calmed down when he saw it was Chris, probably the only person in the room he would have trouble beating in a fight. “I can’t find my coat.”
“It’s probably not there. I took a bunch of coats into my bedroom,” Chris explained. “But why would you want to run after Donna now, anyway? Let her go home. She feels bad enough that you ripped her coat. You’re better off staying here, where you can have a good time.”
This idea seemed to appeal to Billy. “Yeah, you’re right. Let her freeze out there in the street. I don’t need the likes of her to have fun. Just hand me another beer!”
I wanted to tell him that it was probably the beer that helped cause all the trouble in the first place, but I thought better of it. I didn’t need Billy to turn his anger on me.
The party ended without any further disasters. But the fun had gone out of it. I wondered if anyone else felt as I did: It had been so much better before the boys brought the beer.
* * *
New Year’s Eve was approaching, and no one had come forward to volunteer their house for a party. Perhaps it was because of the bad taste left by the events at Chris’s party, or perhaps it was that most parents, like mine, were going to be home and didn’t want a bunch of teenagers up at their house. At any rate, it was two days before New Year’s, and no one had plans to do anything.
New Year’s Eve was especially important to me this year because Lenny and I had had such a bad one the year before. Then, too, there had been no plans until the last minute, so I had accepted a babysitting job. At the last minute, when Jessie had decided to have a party, I could only get away for a few hours. Those hours were anything but romantic. I had gotten jealous because Lenny was flirting with an old girlfriend, and we had had a big fight and almost broken up over it. I didn’t want this New Year’s to be anything like that one.
Lenny didn’t either. Instead of counting on the crowd’s coming up with something, he asked me if I wanted to go out, just the two of us. “We’ll have dinner in a Chinese restaurant, take a walk up Fifth Avenue to see all the store windows decorated for Christmas, and then go to Times Square to see the apple come down for the New Year. It’ll be fun!”
It did sound like fun to me—and romantic. It was a miracle to me that Lenny would come up with such a wonderful idea on his own. It was this kind of thing I had always yearned for in our relationship. Finally, Lenny seemed to be turning into the kind of loving, compassionate boyfriend I had always wanted him to be.
I was so happy with our plans that even when, the day before New Year’s, Joel Fudd decided we could have a party up at his house after all, I didn’t want to go. Joel’s parents weren’t going to be home and Joel liked to drink—I had enough of the problems that combination could lead to. Besides, none of my best friends, Roz, Fran, and Donna, were going to be there. Roz and Donna didn’t want to go anywhere Sheldon and Billy would be, and Fran had a date with a college boy she had met. “Let’s just stick to our original plans,” I said to Lenny. “We’ll have a better time by ourselves.”
I was right to choose to spend New Year’s this way, I couldn’t help thinking as I walked up Fifth Avenue hand in hand with Lenny. It was a cold night, and a soft snow began falling from the dark winter sky. The snow, coupled with the gaily-colored lights lining the streets and the carols playing in the air, made the night seem almost magical. It was easy to get lost in the fairyland scenes that filled the windows of the big department stores. Animated figures, dressed in costumes of Christmases long past, shopped for presents, skated on a frozen lake, danced at a party, decorated a Christmas tree, and climbed into bed to await the arrival of Santa Claus.
Lenny and I stood there, noses pressed against the glass windows, taking in every detail. “Oh, look at that little dog there, wagging his tail,” I pointed out, not wanting Lenny to miss a thing.
“And look at the children peeking over the railing, watching the grownups dance,” he said to me.
We laughed together at the fat Santa, trying to get down the chimney, and at all the other funny scenes. I don’t think I had ever had a better time with Lenny. He put his arm around me as we walked, and I didn’t even mind how cold I was or the fact that my feet were getting soaked from the accumulating snow. But Lenny noticed I was shivering and steered me to a restaurant so we could both warm up.
We sat there, drinking hot chocolate and gazing into one another’s eyes. We probably would have stayed there right through New Year’s if the manager didn’t come over to tell us he was closing for the night.
“I can’t believe it, it’s almost eleven-thirty!” Lenny said when he saw the time. “We’re going to have to hurry if we want to get to Times Square before midnight.”
We were lucky enough to find a taxi to take us to the Times Square area, and we raced the last couple of blocks on foot. The crowd awaiting the traditional signaling of the new year was too big for us to get up close, but by weaving under arms and around barricades, Lenny got us to where we could have a good view. You could feel the excitement building as midnight grew near, and there were so many people packing the street that I no longer felt the cold.
Finally, the big moment arrived. Everyone counted backward from ten as the ball descended, exploded, and flashed the new year. “Happy New Year!” people kept yelling, while blowing on noisemakers and horns.
“Happy New Year,” I whispered to Lenny. He kissed me, and I forgot about the noise and the crowds around us. I only knew it was wonderful to be with the boy I loved, this day and every day of the year.
It wasn’t until later, when we were riding home on the subway, that I gave any thought at all as to what my friends might be doing. This was the first New Year’s I had spent without them since we had become a group.
That thought made me feel a little sad, but I pushed it from my mind. I was together with Lenny, and we had had a perfect New Year’s. That was what really mattered.