Prince has a way of showing up; all his people do. At our backs, or looming into our faces, or just standing around on our lawn and waiting for us to do something entertaining. The one thing they don’t do is come inside the house, unless you count Prince’s eye bubbling up at the bottom of Kezzer’s hat, or the way they seem to know an awful lot about what happens in there. So I’ve been away too long already and I’m starting to get that sick, doubtful ache that comes over me whenever I have to leave Kezzer by herself, but that doesn’t stop him. He’s there, and that means I have to deal.
Have I mentioned that I do a really amazing, huge amount for her? Including all kinds of stuff that she doesn’t even suspect, much less appreciate?
“Dear Joshua!” Prince says, right beside me. He has his usual look, the white puffy jacket and tight black pants, and it’s getting pretty boring.
“Hey,” I tell him. “I really need to get home.”
“Of course you do. The lovely Ksenia is waiting at the window, so eagerly that the thought of you has stolen the breath from her lungs. Her lips are tinting azure, and she asphyxiates in the midst of endless air, all of it hers for the taking, if only she could remember to inhale. But how can she concern herself with anything so trivial as breathing, while the one she adores is far from her?”
One thing about Prince: he likes to watch us react, like our most extreme emotions are just delightful to him, and it would be best if I could keep the things he says outside of my skin, and outside of my brain. But he has this way where whatever he tells me beams onto my thoughts like a movie. Like, I know that Kezzer is probably just reading on the couch, but I still see her the way he described, pale blue and suffocating where she stands, and there’s a crack of adrenaline that makes my legs jerk because they want to run to her so badly.
It doesn’t matter if I know it’s all a trick. It still takes over. I have to actually remind myself to see the ordinary things, the sidewalks and houses and trees.
“It’s just—I don’t think it’s good for Kezz to be alone too much.”
“Indeed not. Ksenia’s blood is by now so depleted of oxygen that she’s beginning to see things that aren’t there. Her vision is full of failing light, of spots in unknown colors. Some of those spots take on the aspect of faces.” A pause. “And are those faces yours, Joshua?”
Another trick. A game. But I actually see the inside of Kezzer’s mind, I see her thoughts twitching around like bright balloons in the air, and so I know exactly what Prince is talking about.
“Lexi?” I should shake it off, but I can’t, not when it’s right in front of me. My mouth starts to get that electric crawl that happens around him, and it makes my whole skull shake, almost like a bell ringing. “Kezz is thinking about Lexi?”
“It’s strange, isn’t it, Joshua? I was so sure Ksenia’s final dreams would be of you! But it appears that Alexandra is very much present to her now.”
Present to her. Lexi ran away, okay. But suddenly I see it in Prince’s words: that’s no guarantee she’ll stay gone. My thoughts go leaping in a million directions, scratching and grabbing for what that could mean. Is Lexi going to start some kind of trouble? Would she really do that to me?
“I thought—it would make Kezzer happy. Having more friends around.” I say it because I have to say something. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
Prince rests a hand on my shoulder and turns me to face him. Bright green eyes and that crest of dark brown hair, all way too close.
“How generous of you. You only sought Ksenia’s happiness, and never once thought of how it might come at your own expense.” A pause. “You have such a beautifully trusting heart. It pains me more than I could ever say, to see how ready Alexandra is to take advantage of your innocence.”
What do you mean? The words slide into my head. I can feel how they’re coming from Prince, and I totally resent it. But it doesn’t matter, because after a long beat I still hear the echo bouncing out in my voice. “What do you mean?”
I know what he means, though. I see it. He smiles and the movie blasts all over my brain: Jesus, Lexi is sneaking into our house right now, tiptoeing down those stairs that held her up, but that always drop me. And Kezzer—the whole image of her blue and suffocating has vanished. Now she’s smiling up at Lexi, like she’s been waiting for her this whole time, and Lexi is bending close and running her fingers through Kezzer’s jagged hair. Closer.
I was a sucker. I thought Lexi would respect my relationship with Kezzer and leave us to be happy together, but apparently I was wrong. And it was my own stupid mistake, trusting Lexi and letting her see Kezz alive, letting her in. But God, I should have known better! Lexi never understood how me and Kezzer feel about each other. Those awful things she said to me—they were crawling with ulterior motives. She tried to sabotage us before, I see it.
Is what I’m seeing real, though? I can’t tell. It seems like there’s a problem with this movie. A plot hole. Then I hit on it.
“Lexi is straight,” I tell Prince. “She’s totally not interested in girls.”
“Examine the taxonomy arrayed in your heart. Have you ever made such a shocking mistake before? Ksenia Adderley—do you class her in the genus girl?”
I don’t, but doesn’t Lexi think of Kezzer as a girl? Maybe it’s not safe to assume what Lexi thinks. Right, right, right.
Prince smiles; I see his smile sort of bobbing up through the movie where it’s paused in my head, Lexi’s lips floating two inches from Kezzer’s. I hear him talking.
“How I pity you now. That first flush of understanding, the dawning comprehension of how profoundly your erstwhile friend means to betray you—no one can live through such a moment without it changing them forever.”
Ten minutes ago the whole idea would have seemed ridiculous, but now it’s—how do I describe it? It’s like a comet burning its way from bullshit into clear reality. Lexi came back to steal Kezzer from me, and she’s in our house right now. But is that a possible thing Lexi could do? How would she even get in here, when the entrance we used together is gone?
How doesn’t matter. I have to get home. Now. I’m springing with panic, but there’s one more question that has to come out first. Is it too late? come the words in my mind, and now there’s hardly any delay before they rebound out where we can both hear them. “Is it too late?”
But no, no; that’s the whole point of being here, of opening up a planet full of new possibilities. It’s the Land of Not Too Late. It has to be.
“Why, no. Not yet, I think. You’ll find that our lovely Ksenia is still with us, and you’ll be very sure to bring her along to our gathering tonight, won’t you?” Prince says. I calm down the tiniest bit, but I’m still tensed to run. He smiles, but there’s so much glimmer in my eyes that I can barely see his face. “And besides, my dearest Joshua, it’s never too late for revenge.”