I’m a family veterinarian: a general practitioner for dogs and cats. (And occasionally rabbits, guinea pigs, mice, rats, lizards, turtles, snakes, and birds.) I vaccinate and deworm puppies and kittens, then spay or neuter them before they reach maturity. I open cats’ abscesses and close lacerations on dogs who lose a conflict with another animal (or a window). For complicated geriatric conditions such as cancer, cataracts, or cardiac failure, I refer my patients and their humans to veterinary specialists in oncology, ophthalmology, and cardiology. And when my patients have reached the end of their journey and need help to ease their suffering, I put them to sleep.
Watching animals die is by far the worst part about being a veterinarian. Even under the best circumstances lies the knowledge that a wonderful creature’s life is ending, and that a good person is suffering an unspeakable loss and entering a world of pain.
I offer Kleenex, a cup of water, a touch on the arm, a kind word. None of it ever seems adequate. I retreat to the back room while the clients suffer in private.
I mail sympathy cards, sometimes send flowers or make a donation in the deceased pet’s name. I occasionally offer referrals to grief counselors. For those who lose a pet to circumstances other than death, such as theft or divorce or behavior issues, there is also little or no consolation.
In twenty years of being a veterinarian, I’ve lost tens of thousands of patients. I’ve lost patients who became friends, friends who became patients, and I’ve lost my own beloved pets. This whole time I’ve been searching for a book such as this one for my own consolation and to share with my clients.
Pet loss is such a difficult and painful topic to think about, let alone discuss. There is still a stigma attached to grieving over an animal. Yet so many clients tell me how they cried harder over the loss of their dogs or cats than they did over the loss of their parents or spouses. Those who grieve for animals often encounter avoidance. Avoidance adds pain. Acknowledgment of their loss is what they need.
In this book, writers acknowledge their own losses. They write about wonder dogs, fractious cats, retired horses, and affectionate pigs. These writers find meaning in the chaos of losing a beloved animal friend. I hope that, like me, you find comfort in this loving and unsentimental homage to the animals in our lives.