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Now we are going to explore in depth how the tarot court card archetypes act in love, relationships, and lust. You will discover information about how the archetypes court, fall in love, and act in a relationship. When reading the tarot for prediction, something that tarot readers are asked frequently is to tell their querent about the person they will end up marrying or who their soulmate is. I use the court cards a lot when reading the cards in this manner. They can tell me and my clients about their personality in a relationship, what they are likely to respond to, and how to help them when they are dealing with difficult things in their lives.
You can use the information below to help yourself and/or your tarot clients find love and what to be on the lookout for in regards to behaviours and actions.
We can be a layer of the tarot court as well and hold different court card positions for different relationships. The way we interact with our siblings is different to the way we interact with our parents. The relationship we have with our work colleagues is not the same as an intimate relationship, although many people mix the two. In this chapter, we are going to focus on how the tarot court card archetypes move through the stages of romantic love, as these are the most powerful, frustrating, transforming, and intoxicating relationships we experience in our lifetime.
Love evolves and changes just as we do, and we will shift and change from different archetypes of the tarot court in different relationships and with time. It is completely normal for people to experience more than one of these love archetypes throughout their lives. You may see reflections of your past self in a number of these archetypes.
When taking this information into consideration, please be aware that every person is different and every relationship is different. The pairings in the charts as well as their love and relationships traits are shared as a way to help you understand your relationships and the people you love better. They are not hard-and-fast rules as to who you should date, marry, or blow off.
When your querent is seeking information about a future romantic partner and a court card comes up, you can use the information below to help your client understand their potential lover. It will also help the tarot reader to demystify these cards so you can give clear and specific information to your clients.
When the court card comes up in a relationship reading in a position of opposition or challenge or is reversed, you may find that the behaviours that are being shown are in the shadow or sadness and grief areas of the information given in each court card meaning. This information can help people get themselves (if they are reading for themselves) or their querent’s loved one back into alignment by understanding their behaviour and fostering the more positive aspects of the archetypes. This is in no way to excuse abusive behaviour of any kind, and professional help should be sought out if there is serious concern for someone’s health or safety.
Adding your own intuitive and learned meanings on top of this can allow you to build your own set of meanings for the court cards in love readings.
The King of Cups—Hades—
The Lord of the Underworld
When courting a relationship, this archetype will read books of philosophy and classic literature to be seen as a deep individual. They will quote famous lines from books and leave said books laying around so you will see that they have read them. If they are serious in courting you, they will find out what your favourite author or poet is and be doing their homework. If the King of Cups has their desires locked on you, you will know it.
The King of Cups will use mystery and silence as a way to attract people to them. They will also have a reputation, good or bad, within their circle, but they have no interest in validating the truth or the falseness of their reputation. They want you to find out on your own whether or not it is true. They are not shy in looking people in the eye to create a connection, which can be too intense for some.
Steampunk Tarot and Everyday Witch Tarot
They can come across as distant and snobbish, but this is usually a front and a way to protect themselves from being hurt or for people to see that they have a huge heart and fall deeply in love when they find a connection they want to keep.
Hades can be an exceptionally tentative lover who enjoys giving sexual pleasure as much as receiving, and sex is usually an extension of love for this archetype.
If they are in their shadow aspect, they are more likely to be the kind of lover who keeps people on a string so that there is always someone who will come and comfort them when they need their fill. They also know exactly what they are doing with their sexual energy. This archetype in their shadow aspect can also be more susceptible to having way too much dependence on alcohol or other addictive substances and this will jeopardise the relationships that they are in.
In a committed loving relationship, they are present, protective, and will put the people that they consider family at the forefront of their minds.
When fighting in a relationship and dealing with sadness and or grief, the King of Cups will become one moody, broody king. They are most likely to need a lot of time alone to process their feelings and will not react kindly to people pushing them to talk about it. To support a King of Cups during this time is to acknowledge that you understand their need for space but that you will be there when they are ready to talk.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the King of Cups
• The Knight of Pentacles—The Soldier—Nothing like a steady, strong, loyal Knight of Pentacles to be there through the King of Cups’s emotional storms. The King of Cups is also likely to awaken the sexual life of the Knight of Pentacles, which serves this partnership well. They can both tend to be serious, but they also want a deeper relationship, which suits them both just fine.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the King of Cups
• Queen of Cups—The Mystic—These two connect deeply on an emotional and sexual level, but when the relationship starts to have problems, their fights can be epic with both emotionally separating from each other. If they have strong communication skills, they can make it work, but they also need a hefty amount of emotional intelligence to navigate this relationship long-term.
The Queen of Cups—The Mystic
The Queen of Cups loves being romanced, but due to past experiences with being judged and persecuted for their intuitive and psychic talents (even if this was not in this lifetime), they may not divulge their gifts to the person they are dating straight away. It is not that they want to deceive the other person, they just need to know that they are in a safe place before they fully open up. This archetype may come across as a little hot and cold or shy at times, but they do like to be courted. Rejection is this court card’s Achilles’ heel, so they will want to know how the other person is feeling before they open up and start to show who they are authentically. They will watch how the person they are dating reacts in situations where kindness is needed and will see if they have any energetic sensitivities themselves. If they find someone who is able to give them energetic backup, they will be extremely happy.
Bad Bitches Tarot and Tarot Mucha
As a lover the Mystic will know the other person’s pleasure zones and desires without being told. They know when to stop and when to keep going. Being in sync with their lover rocks both of their socks. They want you to show them through touch how much you appreciate them. They can tend to overgive so if you are a partner of a Mystic, make sure you are giving as much as you are receiving.
If the Mystic is in their shadow in a relationship, they will become very emotionally insecure, which can come across as jealousy. They may fish for constant reassurance that the person they love loves them back. It doesn’t help that the Mystic is going to pick up on their partner’s attraction to other people, even if it is just a passing interest.
When the Queen of Cups is in a committed relationship, they are extremely compassionate. They do tend to move quickly in their relationships, forgetting to enjoy and take their time with dating. They are all in or not in at all. When they are secure in their relationships, they would rather stay at home entertaining than be around strangers.
During a fight, the Mystic will shut down and become a brick wall. They will give nothing and refuse to tell others why they are upset. If they bottle up their emotions too much, they are likely to become overwhelmed and cry tears of frustration, but be unable to express exactly why they are upset.
When dealing with sadness and grief, they are likely to hide away in isolation and may not be able to handle the needs of others while grieving. They will need to take care of their emotional bodies and energetic hygiene when they are in a place of grief, as they will find they will get emotionally overwhelmed quickly.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Queen of Cups
• The Queen of Cups—The Mystic—Mystics are naturally attracted to each other. A fellow Mystic can actually help with bringing a mirror into this person’s life. They will allow them safe space to be who they really are and also communicate on levels that most people are unable to in their relationships. This relationship will need to have a good group of friends to keep them grounded and social.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Queen of Cups
• Knight of Swords—The Warrior—This archetype will not be emotionally and physically available in the way that the Mystic needs. They will put everything and everyone else in front of their relationship without understanding that they are doing it. The Warrior will put their own Warrior/spiritual journey before any relationship, leaving the Mystic feeling rejected and neglected.
The Knight of Cups—The Romantic
Hold on to your bedpost! Here comes the lover of all lovers. When it comes to courting, this is the archetype that makes the rules (usually as they go and always to suit themselves) and runs the game. The bigger the challenge in the conquest the better. They know they are hot and they have the reputation and trail of broken hearts behind them to prove it. While you know that this person has their well-earned reputation, they will make you feel as though you are the exception to the rule because they are just so into whoever they are dating. They love love, so they are going to ensure that you are having an amazing time when you are with them. It is an amazing feeling being with a Cassanova while you are their desire.
Tarot Mucha and Steampunk Tarot
The Romantic is a wonderful lover not only because they have had a lot of experience, but because they view lovemaking as an art and they want to live up to their street cred. They are playful when you need picking up, sexy, slow, and sensual when you need some love magic in your life, and kinky when things need spicing up. If you are with a Romantic and they are not an aware person or are dwelling in their shadow side, they can think they are incredible in bed but are actually terrible. They will think that their natural talents are enough to ensure they are a sure bet in bed when it takes so much more.
The shadow Knight of Cups is all about racking up the numbers and usually filling the void in their life by being with people because being alone is unbearable and so is the thought of being in a committed relationship. Classic woo them, love them, use them, lose them. They will be the type to have little black books. They have multiple partners at a time without anyone knowing that is the case, and will run at the first sign of trouble or commitment. They have unrealistic expectations about what love is because they ultimately need to learn to love themselves.
Commitment and the die hard romantic rarely go together. They are more likely to be committed to themselves and the idea that they are meant to be wild and free to love who they can, while they can. Some people are just not meant to be in monogamous relationships. This does come with a hefty amount of judgement from more traditional archetypes, but for some people there is more danger in trying to be someone they are not rather than being alone. It is more likely that, if you are a Romantic, your primary love archetype will change if and when you are ready to commit.
When faced with a fight with a lover, this archetype tends to get over it pretty quickly and will exit as fast as they can. Why spend your time fighting instead of loving? When the person that they are with wants to fight they will try to solve the fight with their hottest moves. What is the point in fighting if you can’t have amazing make up sex?
The Romantic is likely to dive right into being a broody artist when they are dealing with grief and sadness. They will listen to music that matches their mood, explore different artistic avenues, and try to make themselves feel better through lovemaking. They will want other people to witness and validate their sadness.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Knight of Cups
• The Page of Wands—Peter Pan—This is a perfect match for the time they will spend together, but it still doesn’t mean there will be wedding bells. They will just have a really hot, fun, incredible time together, and both archetypes really don’t like things getting too serious or heavy, so it works out well for both of them.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Knight of Cups
• The King of Swords—The Scientist—This archetype simply has no time for the Romantic’s game. They are more likely to kill each other if they try to make a relationship work. This doesn’t mean that the Romantic won’t try to pull the moves on a powerful executive archetype like the Scientist. It just won’t stick, as the Scientist will get very bored and see through them.
The Page of Cups—The Empath
The Empath is a dating genius because they know within seconds of meeting someone if they have a future with them. This can come across to others as being way too picky, but they just don’t see the advantage in letting the wrong person get too close to them. The other side to this incredible people radar is that they find it hard to find someone they will open up to. If they feel that the person they are dating is hiding too much or isn’t going to be understanding of their empathic gifts, they will not pursue that relationship. Small, thoughtful gestures are a way into this archetype’s heart.
Empaths can find expressing their own true emotions difficult if they have not worked on developing and protecting their gifts. At times they may be unsure what emotions and needs are actually their own and what is something that they are picking up on from someone else.
As lovers, Empaths will want to go out of their way to make their partners happy and satisfied. If they have not done any work on their energetic and emotional intelligence, they may find it hard to receive pleasure and love, hiding by being of service to others instead.
If the Page of Cups is operating in a shadow aspect, they can be incredibly immature. They will blame everyone else for their emotions and feelings. When things start to go wrong in a relationship, they will rarely be able to take it in a way that isn’t highly emotional. They want to place the blame somewhere else and make the other person feel as bad as they do.
Bad Bitches Tarot and Everyday Witch Tarot
Empaths do not tend to be single for long, or if they are, they will have a co-dependent, platonic relationship somewhere in their lives. They want to have the emotional security that being with someone brings. If they are with a balanced partner, their gifts will flourish and they will find that being in a relationship sees them at the height of their creative selves. Empaths do need and like their own space and will often need something like a shed, art room, yoga room, or meditation space in their home to come back to and reset from all of the energy that they pick up.
Fighting is not really their modus operandi. Empaths will hold onto all of their pain, especially if they are stressed and don’t have the time to sort through how they are really feeling. They will break down or blow up when it all becomes too much. They can be triggering to their partners as they will hold the energy that is being sent their way. It is important for Empaths to learn how to ground and protect their own personal energy and not to become relationship punching bags.
Not many other tarot court archetypes experience grief and sadness like the Empath. It can hit them like a ton of bricks. A lot of Empaths have taken on their loved ones’ pains from a young age, trying to ease the suffering of those around them. This can continue into their relationships, and many Empaths may not be aware that they even do this. Processing grief is one of this archetype’s major life lessons, so it is something they are always working on.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Page of Cups
• The Knight of Pentacles—The Soldier—This loyal and grounded individual is a perfect match for the Empath. They are solid and calm in crisis situations and are understanding when the Empath needs space. They will likely grow with each other as well.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Page of Cups
• The King of Cups—Hades—This connection is usually way too much for the Empath who will be completely overwhelmed with the King’s need to keep pushing and digging on pain points. These two connections are better as friends or student/mentor.
The King of Pentacles—The Manager
This archetype in love wants to be in control and will be the one who sets the tone and drives the relationship forward. They will make the plans for your date, will be on time and will expect that their date be on time as well. They are more than happy to shower the person they are dating with gifts, especially as words are not their strongest point. This is also how you show this archetype that you are interested in them. Words mean very little to them in relationships—time and action mean more. Their body language will tell you a lot about how they feel about the prospect of their relationship.
As a lover, the Manager will take the lead and be the more dominant one in the bedroom. Giving them feedback on how they can be a more attentive lover may be tricky as they are not used to being coached in that way. They will not hesitate to make the first move if they are interested in taking the next step to make the relationship intimate.
Everyday Witch Tarot and Triple Goddess Tarot
If the Manager is in the shadow aspect, they can be very hard to remove from your life. They can become a control freak or jealous, track your phone, not want you to go out without them, and even show stalker tendencies. They are just not sure what is too much and when to back off. They will likely want to know where you are at all times and what you are doing. It can be creepy.
In a committed relationship, this tarot archetype will likely throw money at any issue that comes up. If you are mad at them, they will buy you a gift. If they forgot a meaningful date, you are likely to get a international holiday out of it. They simply do not want to have to deal with the emotional onslaught or even have to admit they were wrong, so this is the easiest thing to do. Avoiding an argument is best in their books. On the positive side, this person will make sure that their family is well taken care of. There is always money to pay the bills and have luxuries, and they fit the provider mold well.
When dealing with grief and sorrow, the King of Pentacles is better at helping others through their hard times rather than dealing with their own emotions. They will be practical, as this is how they deal with things. If there is nothing that they can change, they will simply accept it and try to move on without really grieving. They are not very good at showing most people their vulnerabilities. If you are with this tarot court archetype and they open up to you, know that this is very rare indeed.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the King of Pentacles
• The Queen of Pentacles—The Healer—Another grounded and earthy soul, this partnership can go the distance as long as the Healer is happy to let the Manager lead in the relationship.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the King of Pentacles
• The Queen of Swords—The Judge—Fighting would consume most of this relationship with both being unwilling to relent. The Judge won’t allow the Manager to get away with their BS or avoidance tactics, and the Manager won’t take the confrontation and questioning well.
The Queen of Pentacles—The Healer
So many people will find the Healer attractive because of the incredible space they provide for people. When they are courting someone, they will instantly have the other person feeling welcomed and valued. They seem to always have time to help others, especially those they care about. The Healer does not like shallow people or flighty people. If you find yourself courting the Healer, don’t play games. Be upfront and show integrity with them. (This can be said for all relationships, really, but this archetype will not suffer any BS.) If you are looking for gifts for this tarot archetype, know that they would prefer a pretty crystal or river stone you found over an expensive diamond.
As a lover they may not be the most kinky in bed, but they will make sure that their partner is satisfied before they are. As a healer, sex is a healing and sacred art to them, so they take this part of their relationship very seriously. This archetype can be a perfect tantric sexual healer and help people unlock and reawaken lost intimacy, not to mention be a powerhouse when it comes to the ultimate climax.
Bad Bitches Tarot and Tarot Mucha
If the Healer is unhappy, they will likely make their entire household unhappy too. They will want to be heard and validated before they are willing to lift the dark cloud they hold over everyone. They can hold onto grudges like it is a profession and will fight until they feel satisfied regardless of how it is affecting everyone else involved. Selfish is definitely a word they may hear from exes.
This tarot archetype loves a committed relationship and often does much better in one than out of one or just casually dating. They adore waking up next to the same person. They love creating or carrying on family traditions and caring for others. They will make their home a truly beautiful space.
When they are fighting they can be very passive aggressive and unable to see from the other person’s point of view. Their steam runs out quickly, however, as fighting physically affects them, and they are likely to get headaches or make themselves sick if they stay in a state of distress for too long.
When dealing with sadness and grief, the Healer may hide away in their bed, unable to move or really care about much while they process their emotions. They will get up and go through the motions if someone else needs them, but they won’t really be engaged. As a healer they tend to everyone else’s pain first. This can lead to long term sickness or exhaustion if they do not take their self-care seriously.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Queen of Pentacles
• The King of Cups—Hades—These two will be so in sync that they will likely annoy the crap out of all of their friends. They love deep conversation and crave intimate time together. If they are working from an awakened, conscious space, this couple can help other couples and society at large.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Queen of Pentacles
• The Queen of Wands—The Performer—They will be forever chasing this person. They will try to serve this person and relationship, giving everything but finding themselves lost and drained.
The Knight of Pentacles—The Soldier
If you are ever courted by the Soldier, know that this person has probably admired you from afar for a long time. They have painstakingly gone over every word they will say to you and the multiple roads the conversation may go down before they let their feelings be known. This tarot archetype will also rather be friends with their partners first. They want to know them well. Due to their conservative nature, large romantic gestures are rare. You may not know they are even flirting with you. They are all about actions. This is how you know how they feel. They will be there for you and do what they say they are going to do.
As a lover, the Soldier may find it hard to accept pleasure and deep love to begin with. It can take some understanding and patience, but when they feel safe they will begin to let go of their need to control themselves at all times. They are very self-critical, so believing they are worth all of the good things in a relationship can be hard to accept. Things may get a little mechanical in bed with this archetype. They like what they like and aren’t really into sexy surprises, so make sure you don’t suggest any naughty gifts to them at the last minute in the bedroom.
Everyday Witch Tarot and Steampunk Tarot
The Soldier in the shadow aspect can completely check out. They will simply not be present at all. They will do what they have to but be a million miles away. They will put their personal duty and purpose before their relationship. They can also become a very lazy lover, partner, and parent and let things slip too much.
In a committed relationship, even if things are unhealthy or flat out bad, they are likely to stick it out longer than they should because they have such a deep belief in loyalty. They will take just about anything from someone they love—good or bad. This archetype needs commitment, steadiness, and dependability and in return will give all of those things back to the person they are with. Long-term relationships are often their core desire.
This archetype will immediately go into defensive mode when they are fighting. This can be a good thing if you need someone to have your back, but can be very difficult to navigate if they are fighting against you. It can be hard for them to really hear the other person. The Soldier actually likes fighting, and if they are not getting their challenge elsewhere, such as at work or recreationally, they can tend to pick fights at home. If you are with this archetype and find that fights are constant, sign them up for rugby or a contact sport; it may help.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Knight of Pentacles
• The Knight of Pentacles—The Soldier—There is something about being with someone who has been through similar experiences and has the same codes of loyalty for this archetype. They do well with like minded souls.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Knight of Pentacles
• The Page of Wands—Peter Pan—While the Soldier may find the fun and lightheartedness of Peter Pan attractive, and they may very well want to save them from themselves. The desire fades when they realise there is not much substance there for them to build a solid foundation on.
The Page of Pentacles—The Naturalist
The Naturalist will fall in love with you through your pet and you will likely meet at a dog park or volunteering at an animal shelter. If you don’t like pets, animals, and nature, then don’t waste your time with this person. You have to be willing to share this person with their animals. When dating, the Naturalist will want to be doing fun activities or even just walking or moving. It centres their energy. Things like walking in nature, hiking, or going to the beach are good ideas for dates.
If you are looking to be intimate with the Naturalist, I hope you like nookie outdoors. They do. They will enjoy making love under the stars on a camping trip, on a hiking trail, and anywhere they may get away with it. This archetype, apart from their nature sexual fantasies, can get into habits of lovemaking very quickly, and routines tend to stick. It is not to say that sex with them will be bad, it will just be very routine if things are not kept spicy by you both.
Steampunk Tarot and Tarot Mucha
Loving the Naturalist can be extremely frustrating if they are in their shadow. They aren’t likely to want to do much and people often fall in love with their potential, which is rarely met. Even more frustrating is that they won’t be very aware, being a bit of a snob about it or finding lots of excuses as to why the timing is not right.
In a committed relationship, they are stable, solid, and predictable. You always know what you are getting with this person, which for some people is not a bad thing at all. They will love being in a relationship as long as their partner loves animals and doesn’t mind the fact that their house is a menagerie. Unless they work professionally with animals, they are unlikely to a hold a career that is going to light the world on fire.
When the Naturalist is fighting with their loved one, they will be very childish and often act like a wounded animal, turning on the doe eyes and looking at their partner with a “please don’t yell at me” face. Tantrums are pretty standard when things are not going their way as they are not very good at articulating negative feelings.
When they are experiencing grief and sadness, their loyal and trusty pets will be a huge comfort to them. They will be more affected when an animal passes away than most people they know. Becoming reclusive and non-verbal is a common way for this archetype to behave when suffering.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Page of Pentacles
• The Page of Cups—The Empath—This couple may be a little insular or seemingly codependent to the outside world, but they compliment each other so well that the relationship can really bloom. But they must also maintain some outside friends and individual passion projects.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Page of Pentacles
• The King of Swords—The Scientist—The Scientist will simply be too cold and withdrawn for the Naturalist to be able to be with them. While they both love the natural world and have that in common, they come at it from a very different place and that would be a breaking factor for their relationship.
The King of Wands—The Entrepreneur
The Entrepreneur is usually well known in their circles for being a bit of a showboat and player. However, they are extremely fun to date because they will show you things you have never seen before and give you experiences that are usually only for VIPs. They will take you backstage to concerts or an exclusive restaurant. They are well connected and will not mind showing you that. This tarot archetype loves the chase. In fact, they will love the chase more than the relationship, so if you are with this person, planning surprises and adventures will never go unnoticed or unappreciated.
As a lover, they covet pleasure, affection, and attention. They love to receive these things and will want to be shown that they are appreciated. So don’t be shy or quiet in bed with this one. If their needs are being met, they can also be generous at giving. If not, they will be selfish. Find out how they like to be loved. Underneath all of the posing, they ultimately want to please and be praised. They will also be okay with handing over the reins of control in the bedroom, as every other area of their lives needs careful personal managing.
Tarot Mucha and Bad Bitches Tarot
If the Entrepreneur is operating out of their shadow side in a relationship, they will have no issues using people to get what they want. They hold very high expectations of the people they are with and no one ever lives up to them. They are prone to making reckless decisions that leave them single because they lead and make decisions impulsively. There is a reason they work for themselves after all.
The Entrepreneur will likely have more than one serious committed relationship in their lives. They are more committed to themselves and their work than other people. They will look for someone who is also in a position of influence in their work and will want them to have their backs and help them take on the world.
When in a fight, they love to be the centre of attention, so expect a lot of hot air and the occasional air projectile. They are used to getting their own way and because of this have no problems starting fights. At times their volcanic disposition is quickly forgotten, but everyone else around them is left to pick up the pieces.
When they experience sadness and grief, they will just bury themselves in their work. They will take to humanitarian and charity work, championing a cause that has touched them personally. They are vocal about helping because they want to be seen.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the King of Wands
• The Queen of Wands—The Performer—One wants to take on the world in a business way and the other wants the world to really see them. They will love the shared influence and limelight that being together brings. They don’t want the same kind of attention, so they will work together well as a couple.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the King of Wands
• The King of Pentacles—The Manager—You know the saying, oil and water don’t mix and this is a living example of it. One will crave structure and stability and the other will make rash decisions without a second thought about their relationship.
The Queen of Wands—The Performer
When the performer is courting someone, they will make them feel like they are the only person in the room and the world. They are charismatic and the person they are dating is often not quite sure how they landed such a fabulous partner to begin with. Because the performer likes an audience they will not be shy about letting a person know they are interested and will expect a lot of attention back. They will let you know they want to be chased and coveted like the prize they know they are. Once they have you on their radar, they rarely don’t get what they want.
As a lover, the performer is warm, extroverted, and sexy. They are enthusiastic about pleasure and will bring an element of their archetypal namesake to the bedroom. They will want the perfect stage set and the environment to be supportive of an award-winning performance. This doesn’t mean they will want to be the one in the lead in the bedroom. This may be one of the rare areas where they will play a more supportive role.
Everyday Witch Tarot and Tarot Mucha
If the performer in a relationship is acting out of their shadow, then expect a whole lot of diva behaviour. Heaven forbid you forget a birthday or anniversary. You will never hear the end of it. This tarot archetype can also be the poster child for jealous behaviour and can be capable of some very extreme things when they feel unseen, threatened, or locked out in a relationship.
If you do not like the limelight, then this may not be the right person for you to covet a long-term relationship with. While they may be used to being the centre of attention and being out mingling, that kind of behaviour is not for everyone and the performer will not give up their art for anyone. Not because they are selfish, but because it is who they are. They will want their partner to pay attention to what is going on in their lives, even if you have been with them a long time. If they have a new hairstyle or tattoo, show them you have noticed. They often want to be seen in a certain way and praise means a lot to them, so show that you are proud to be such an important part of their lives.
If you ever get into a fight with the Queen of Wands, I hope you know how to run and duck for cover, because they are one heck of a thunderstorm when they feel backed into a corner. Walking away from them is not a good idea. They will demand that they are listened to and they still want your attention even if they are pissed. The root cause of fighting can often be due to jealousy, even if there is no cause for it at all.
When the performer is dealing with sadness and grief, they can be found racking up their credit cards to make themselves feel better or flirting with people outside of their relationship and getting into public displays of emotional outbursts. They can either find some of their best artistic work in this space or it can be something that derails them from their creative genius.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Queen of Wands
• The Queen of Swords—The Judge—The performer will appreciate being with someone who doesn’t crave the spotlight. The judge is able to keep up with the performer, keep them honest and grounded, and call them out when they are being too much of a diva.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Queen of Wands
• The King of Cups—Hades—While they will want to tear each others clothes off in public when their passion can’t wait, this connection can get dark quickly. Hades will get bored of whatever scene the performer is in and likely manipulate everyone in it, making the relationship miserable and unhealthy.
Knight of Wands—The Adventurer
No one can tell a story quite like this tarot archetype because they have seen and experienced so much and they are enchanting and a little dangerous because of it. Their passports are full of stamps and their living spaces are wall to wall of eye-dropping photos of exotic places. They will be more than happy to romance you with everything that they have. They are confident and self-reliant, and will take you on incredible adventures when you are together.
Steampunk Tarot and Bad Bitches Tarot
There is nothing that this lover won’t do in bed—fuzzy handcuffs, sex swings, or sex clubs. They are up for just about anything, chasing a new experience because everything is an adventure. You may not always get to see this lover, but they do love sending romantic messages and like the idea of having someone waiting for them when they get home. They are restless in love as well as in life.
This tarot archetype in their shadow will have a lover in every port, city, and country. They will purposefully get into shitty relationships that they know are doomed to fail because the drama and the story of them getting out of it will be worth it. They are likely to run away from relationships, leaving a trail of broken hearts and people wondering what they did wrong. They will have no problems projecting their fear onto the other person and making them take the fall for the relationship ending. It will make them feel better about it at least.
Commitment and this archetype do not go and in hand. So while they are so good with people and love being around people in general, they may not ever be able to shake the need for new places and experiences. If you are into long distance, open relationships, and experimentation, then it may work.
This archetype loves to fight and challenge their partners, which can get really draining quickly. When fighting with a loved one, they will pace like a caged animal. If you want to talk things out with your Adventurer partner, then go for a walk or drive with them and talk. They are excellent solo travellers, but travelling with a significant other may just be their undoing as they will find it hard to make space for the other person; their desire for experience and adventure will override their partner duties and they can come across as selfish and inconsiderate with their choices.
When this tarot archetype is dealing with sadness and grief, they will get into whatever escapism they are currently into, like gaming, booze, porn, gambling, or sex, and do it excessively as a coping mechanism. That is if they are simply unable to get on a plane and try running away from their pain.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Knight of Wands
• The King of Wands—The Entrepreneur—Both of these archetypes love freedom and have enough going on in their own lives that they are secure with the other doing what they please for the most part. They will have travel, money, and sex in common and it will keep things moving along for a long while.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Knight of Wands
• The Queen of Cups—The Mystic—The Adventurer will want to be experiencing everything and be all over the place and the Mystic would much rather be in their sacred space that feels like home. The Mystic also knows what is going to undo their relationship well before it happens and avoids these people rather than get their heart broken.
The Page of Wands—Peter Pan
This is such a playful tarot archetype that you cannot help but have an amazing time when you are dating one. Your dates will be filled with playful activities, retro sports, nostalgic movies, and music, and you will be loving every moment. They can, however, tend to be a little flaky, but they are so charming most people will let them get away with a certain amount of it. They will pursue you adoringly and with a lot of energy. They tend to talk a good game but have very little real world experience to back it up.
Everyday Witch Tarot and Steampunk Tarot
In the bedroom, games and role play are a big turn-on, as is sex in public places and anywhere where there is a risk of getting caught in the act. They will happily accept a dare and will want other people to be as adventurous as they are. Unfortunately they don’t always know when it becomes dangerous to keep pushing the envelope because they won’t stop trying to up the stakes.
When in a relationship and in their shadow, they will be all about lying and cheating, often to the extreme where it will leave a number of people feeling as though they have been played. They won’t understand why what they are doing is unacceptable and will likely shrug it off and keep on doing what they want. They can be very childish, immature, and sometimes downright mean.
If they ever do get into a committed relationship, it probably won’t be the first or last one in their lives. They will often have more than one child with different people and have a few weddings in their lifetimes. If they ever really do settle down, it won’t be until they are good and ready and when they are middle-aged. When they are with someone they truly love, they will really be with them, They just don’t often have the staying power, as relationships are hard work and they are not into anything that involves hard work.
When fighting in a relationship, they will act like children with tantrums, name calling, and avoidance, and they won’t apologise for the things they have done wrong. If they do say sorry, they are unlikely to really mean it and will do it again the next time. In the extreme, they can be a bully in their relationship and really go for the other person’s weak spots. Winning the fight is worth destroying the other person in their minds.
When dealing with sadness and grief, they will storm off and pout and won’t want to deal with it in a mature manner. They will want everyone else to make them feel better. They will also want to be taken care of. They won’t have an issue expressing that they are hurt. They just don’t have any tact about how they go about it.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Page of Wands
• The Page of Wands—Peter Pan—They may drive everyone one else to distraction with their inability to grow up and take control of their lives, but their lives together with never be dull.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Page of Wands
• The King of Wands—The Entrepreneur—The mature person in this relationship is going to feel like they are always chastising a small child and will get sick of it very quickly, regardless of Peter Pan’s charm and ability to keep the other feeling young.
The King of Swords—The Scientist/Specialist
If you are ever interested in romantically pursuing this tarot archetype, you are going to have to chase them or make it painfully obvious that you are interested in them, as flirting and subtle suggestions to ask you out will likely go over their heads. The Scientist finds intelligence very sexy, but will still want to be smarter than the person they are dating, or at least work in a different field so they can still be seen as the top of their game. Socially, if you ever get this person out from behind their chosen work desk, they may not take you to the most conventional dating destinations, but if you are a perfect match for them, you are going to find their date of stargazing at an observatory completely mind blowing.
Tarot Mucha and Bad Bitches Tarot
As a lover, expect this archetype to have read up on the subject. Assuming they have a sex drive, most of their energy may be spent trying to finish their latest project or cure a rare disease. They want to please and be a good lover at least partially because they don’t like failing at anything. They may not be the kind of lover to write poems or come through with a lot of romantic gestures, but they are very good between the sheets. However, they can seem very on or off. There isn’t an in-between when it comes to their interest in a person or in getting down.
If the Scientist is in a relationship and acting out of their shadow, they will want to control their partner. They will likely want to control all aspects of their life together too, such as not sharing information or telling the truth about their finances and having control over their assets. They can be the kind of partner who verbally abuses or manipulates and puts down their partner in public. Shutting their loved ones out is also a shadow move for this archetype.
When in a committed relationship with this person, work needs to be done to keep the emotional connection alive. They honestly believe that they know what is right and best for their partner and, if they are in a position of influence at work, what is best for the world. While they are fair and loyal partners and good providers, they will also want to lead the relationship and make most of the large decisions on behalf of the family, such as what schools your children will attend.
This is an archetype that rarely has time to fight with their partner. When they do step up to argue, they will pull out examples of something that happened years ago down to the last details, so be prepared to fight with someone who remembers everything. They can be extremely stubborn and lack empathy, so getting them to see your side of the fight can be tough.
When dealing with sadness and grief the Scientist will just bury themselves in work, religion, spirituality, or research, but that is not going to really get them anywhere. They can become detached from the situation and the world and are not very good at providing support to those around them that may be looking for it, opting instead for isolation from everyone and everything.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the King of Swords
• The Queen of Swords—The Judge—Both of these people find intelligence extremely attractive and it is lucky that between them they have enough to sink a ship. They will be able to keep up with each other and challenge each other well. They will also be a pretty balanced relationship, with both parties being able to come to things rationally.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the King of Swords
• The Page of Wands—Peter Pan—The Scientist will find this personality the most annoying thing on the planet and Peter Pan will just want to poke the old stick in the mud all the time for fun. Best to leave these two to better suited lovers.
The Queen of Swords—The Judge
If this tarot archetype is interested in you, they will find a way to cross paths with you. If at all possible, they will orchestrate an opportunity for you to see them working, as it is a great turn-on for them and they know they shine at work. They may appear nonchalant about your attention but actually care deeply about what you think. The Judge will love to take you to social and charity events that they are interested and believe in. A good way to lock this person down is to get along with their friends, quickly.
The Judge as a lover will be pretty upfront about what they like and what they don’t like in the bedroom, what you need to do, and for how long. They like dirty talk—and don’t be surprised if they are a bit kinky in bed. This is a person who likes to be in a relationship and will also want their sex lives to be fantastic, interesting, and stimulating.
There are three words that describe this person if they are in a relationship and acting out of their shadow side: cold, manipulative, and cruel. They cannot only emotionally manipulate you like a professional, but will screw with your head in the process. If they are a really nasty piece of work, they will try to cut you off from your family and friends so they have total control over you.
In a committed relationship that is healthy, they are very loyal and if you break their trust, there is no going back. Their relationships become a large focus of their lives. They like to keep any issues they may have in the relationship a secret in order to maintain appearances. Being a little all-or-nothing, they will want to know that the person they are in a long-term relationship with is in it for the long haul.
Everyday Witch Tarot and Triple Goddess Tarot
When fighting, the Judge is a force of nature. You may want to think long and hard before fighting with this one because you are going to go up against someone who has debating in their DNA. They can cut through people with their words and will keep calm and collected while their hail of word bullets sends the other person into a complete fluster. It isn’t as though they love fighting all the time, but when they do, they rarely lose, and while you can always make up with each other, you can’t unhear some things.
The Judge archetype deals with grief and sadness by surrounding themselves with pretty things and all forms of art—and a lot of talking with their friends about how they are feeling. Or they may journal about it for hours on end. To everyone outside of their selected trust circle, they will try to pass off that they are fine.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Queen of Swords
• The Queen of Swords—The Judge—Two judges don’t make a right? Wrong. These two may talk the house down in a group environment but they just seem to get each other. Usually both partners in a successful pairing of this archetype have careers that satisfy them and keep them challenged enough for a harmonious relationship.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Queen of Swords
• The Knight of Cups—The Romantic—While the romantic may try as hard as they can to paint a pretty picture for this archetype to believe in, they are going to see straight through that and will simply have no time for their games. A short affair, sure, but not a long-term relationship, which suits the Romantic fine in the end anyway.
The Knight of Swords—The Warrior
When it comes to courting a partner, there is nothing that the Warrior loves more than winning their hand. The harder to get you play, the more attractive you are to this archetype. Allow them to pursue you, not because you should play games with people in order to win their affection, but because this is something they genuinely enjoy. They can, however, be a little relentless, which may overwhelm people who are not used to strong energy. There will be no question that this person is into you, which at least takes the guesswork out of it. They will also not hesitate to make the first move.
The Warrior is the type of lover that sees sex as sacred, and while this is not the only archetype that does so, they may be careful with whom they chose to connect with in this way. They will want to set the mood and take their time. Once they have chosen a partner, they will be willing to try just about anything, as long as it doesn’t go against their spiritual code. They love to spice things up or, even better, have their partner plan something special. They may need some coaching, but love a challenge, even in bed, and aim to please.
If they are living in their shadow side, they will be arrogant, dominating, and argumentative. They rarely give a shit what their choices mean for their partner and have a “like it or leave” attitude when it comes to decision making. They can also be selfish and harsh with their words. They will often have a small group of people they have been with on-again, off-again romantically.
Committed relationship? Maybe not for this tarot archetype. They can be very hard to pin down and it’s nearly impossible if you are not of the same faith or spiritual path—or at least share a devotion to a similar cause. If you do manage a long-term relationship with a Warrior, expect to spend a lot of time on your own. They are off doing their thing a lot of the time. They will likely have you move around the globe with them too.
Tarot Mucha and Everyday Witch Tarot
In a verbal fight with someone they love, the Warrior will lose their patience very quickly. They will not hesitate to show their dominating side and try to shut down the other person and the conversation with authority. They know where everyone’s weaknesses are in their personal armour and will not hesitate to aim for it. If they aren’t very verbal, expect them to storm off and go a few rounds with a punching bag to let off steam. They need the space to cool off and think before there can be reconciliation.
When dealing with sadness and grief they will be very quiet. It is very likely that in their mind they are thinking themselves stupid. They will take any loss as though it was personal and could been have avoided if only they were able to conquer what took that person away. Try to get them to talk if you can. They usually feel better once they have let go of all of the thoughts that have been plaguing their mind.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Knight of Swords
• The Queen of Pentacles—The Healer—These two work so well together because their relationship helps give each other purpose. The Healer will be there to patch up the Warrior, either physically or emotionally, and the Warrior will protect all that the Healer cares for, including themselves.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Knight of Swords
• The King of Swords—The Scientist/Specialist—One thinks about things all day and can literally go days without speaking and the other suffers from impulsive speech disorder. The King of Swords is too careful and the Knight of Swords is too rash; they will drive each other crazy.
The Page of Swords—The Detective
The Detective will know things about you and your family that you don’t even know, because they are very good at observation and also pretty skilled at using the mighty Google. While this is not a very popular courting technique, they just can’t help themselves. If they haven’t done the background search, they will have likely asked around about the person they are interested in. The detective is usually a great tarot archetype to date. They are quick-witted, inspiring, and really interesting. They listen and remember things, which makes the person they are dating feel special. They will often leave you wanting more too.
As a lover, the Detective can somewhat take sex or leave it. They are more interested in their interpersonal relationships with other people and/or having good professional and working relationships than being a hot and heavy lover. That is not to say that they won’t marry and have children, but their drive may just be low. They will need a lot of coaxing from their partners or they will just simply shut them down when the advance is made.
When living in their shadow aspect the Detective is completely aloof and unable to connect with people. They will live in their own world. They can be hypercritical of their partners and easily suspicious with the people in their lives. They are prone to jealousy and completely unaware of the emotional needs of others.
Steampunk Tarot and Bad Bitches Tarot
In a committed relationship, the Detective will really take the time to get to know and understand their partner. They will want to be in their lives and help them achieve their dreams. They just may not give the most robust emotional support, but they are great listeners and are very honest.
When fighting with a loved one, they will get exasperated and over dramatic. They will take a firm “it’s me against them” stance and will expect that if they are fighting with anyone outside the relationship, their partner will automatically take their side. Right or wrong. They can be completely relentless when trying to make their point in an argument and can be unwavering in their stance unless met with cold, hard facts. Even then, expect some resistance.
This archetype deals with grief and sadness by tearing the situation apart until they can find out what or who is to blame. Everything is someone or something’s fault. They can get overwhelmed with loss if there is an injustice attached to it.
Example of a Perfect Love Connection for the Page of Swords
• The King of Swords—The Scientist/Specialist—Both pursue their work with passion and ask multiple questions in search of great answers. Neither of them will worry if the other is working late. They just have to make sure they actually see each other once in a while to keep the flame lit.
Example of a Troubled Love Connection for the Page of Swords
• The Queen of Cups—The Mystic—Unfortunately, the Detective will not have any time for the Mystic or what they believe and are able to do. Because this is an intrinsic part of who the Mystic is, this relationship won’t last beyond a few weeks or months.
Exercise: Your Tarot court Love Map
This personal exploration exercise will allow you to look back on what love tarot archetypes you have been with in your past relationships. It can be useful to see if there have been any partners in your relationships that have played out over and over again. It is also a great way to give real life examples to the tarot court cards in love, which will help you memorise their meanings, actions, and behaviours when they come up in a tarot reading.
This exercise is just another layer of information you can use when it comes to building your catalogue of information about the tarot court.
The worksheet is designed to look like a map, which is a visual representation of your journey in love.
Questions for the road map
and further exploration
Who was your first love?
Who do you identify with the most now?
When you are in your shadow side, what love archetype do you most embody?
What lessons do you believe your love archetype can teach you?
If you are in a relationship, what love archetype is your partner or significant other?
Do you feel you have learned anything new about them?
If you are single, what love archetype is someone you would love to be with? Why?
What love archetype is someone you would not like to be with? Why?
Exercise: Seeking a New Lover
Tarot Spread
This tarot spread uses the information about the tarot court to help you find out a little or a lot about the next person who is going to come into your life or your querent’s life. For those tarot readers who do not usually use the tarot for predictive work, this can be a fun reflective exercise or it can be a great way to dip your toes into the predictive pool.
You can use the information in this book to flesh out the personality, how they are in love, and what to be on the lookout for when you meet new people.
1. Take your chosen tarot deck out and separate the tarot court cards from the pack. Place the rest of the deck aside for now.
2. Hold the tarot court cards in your hands and close your eyes Think about bringing love to your life and, if you are adept at creative visualisation, carry out one about your ideal future relationship. It is highly recommended not to think of any one person in particular as that will interfere with the reading. You want to leave this open by not targeting people you may already be interested in. They may pop up anyway.
3. Shuffle the tarot court cards while still holding as much of the energy you focused on. When you feel ready, fan the cards out in front of you and pick two cards that you feel most drawn to. Place the them in the spread positions A and B as shown below.
4. Now place the remaining court cards back in the deck and shuffle the cards until you feel ready. Then fan or cut the deck and select the remaining cards. Place them in positions 1, 2, and 3 as shown in the following tarot card layout.
Position A. This is your future partner’s outward personality, the one they show the public and workplace. The one most people will know them by and how you may see them when you first meet.
Position B. This is your future partner’s deeper personality. You can learn about how they express and deal with sadness and shadow things that they struggle with. It is the part of their soul that also has great gifts.
Position 1. This is their work. It can be very literal or take some digging. The suits will give you some big clues and so will the position of the card in the suit.
Position 2. This will give you clues as to how you are going to meet.
Position 3. This is the major lesson and theme of the relationship with this person.
Exercise: Healing Relationships
Tarot Spread
This tarot spread and exercise has been developed to help you heal and move on from past relationships. This can be done completely solo, but if you ever get the chance to do this with an ex, I can personally recommend it as a deeply revealing and healing experience. I recommend that you do not carry out this exercise with an ex when you are feeling extremely emotional, as it may be too much and the reading may end up muddy. Some exes should be avoided like the plague. You broke up for a reason, after all.
This is also not designed to be a way to spy on your ex to see what they are up to. It is a healing exercise that can bring closure and a chance to leave negative traits in the past without carrying them into your next relationship.
Before you begin this exercise, choose how you want to read the cards. Do you want to select the cards diviner style where you shuffle the cards, cut the deck, and reveal them without ever seeing their fronts or do you want to work intuitive picture style? Intuitive picture style reading is where you go through the deck with the images face up and select the cards based on the images and your intuition of what you feel represents the layout’s position best.
You will need two complete tarot decks for this exercise.
1. Take the first chosen tarot deck out and separate the tarot court cards from the pack. Set the rest of the deck aside for now.
2. Shuffle the court cards and pull a card or intuitively select the tarot court card that is the significator for you in that relationship and place it in position significator A.
3. Repeat the first two steps with the second chosen tarot deck and place the card in position significator B, or have the person you are reading with (e.g. your ex) carry out the first two steps with their deck.
4. Replace the court cards back into their respective decks.
5. Take the first deck and shuffle the cards again to get the court cards back in the mix. Focus on your part of the relationship, your experiences, your energy, and the half that you brought to the whole. When you are ready, cut the deck and place the rest of the cards in the numerical order as shown in the following layout or intuitively select the cards and place them in positions 1 to 5.
6. Take the second deck and reshuffle the cards. Now bring your attention to your ex’s energy and role in the relationship. When you are ready, cut the deck and place the rest of the cards in the numerical order as shown in the layout or intuitively select the cards and place them in positions 6 to 10. If you are reading with another person (e.g., your ex), have them carry out these steps with their deck.
Querant
Ex
176Position Meanings
1 and 6—The Mask—The surface issue that is leaving the relationship unhealed
2 and 7—The Past—The past event or belief that is still affecting the relationship
3 and 8—The Release—What needs to be forgiven and released in order for the relationship to move forward (even if you are never again to be romantically involved with each other)
4 and 9—The Wound—What you want the other party to acknowledge, hear, or understand
5 and 10—The Step—The next step forward towards healing for you both