It feels like this book has been in my heart and on my mind forever, but I didn’t actually start writing it until 2013. I had to put it away many times, often for long periods, when it became too difficult to keep telling this story. And without the following people, I honestly don’t know how I ever would have finished.
First and foremost, I thank my readers—some of you I’ve had the privilege of meeting face-to-face, and others via e-mail, tweets, messages, and posts. Please know that your kind, thoughtful, supportive words, and the personal stories you have shared with me, mean more than I could ever say—thank you for always reminding me why I write.
To my agent, Jess Regel, you continue to be the best champion a writer could possibly hope for, and I feel so fortunate to have you and Foundry Literary + Media in my corner—thank you for, well . . . basically, everything.
Deepest thanks go to my brilliant editor, Rūta Rimas. For your belief in this story, for your guidance and insights, and for always seeming to know exactly in which dark corners to shine a light, I cannot thank you enough.
Thanks are also due to Justin Chanda and the excellent team at Margaret K. McElderry Books, as well as the entire Simon & Schuster Children’s division—from the talented designers, copy editors, and proofreaders, to all the dedicated people on the library and education, sales, marketing, and publicity teams—it takes a village to raise a book, and I’m so grateful to be a member of yours.
Many thanks to Holly Summers-Gil, Judy Goldman, Shannon M. Parker, and Bryson McCrone for reading early drafts or portions of this book—your encouragement, feedback, enthusiasm, and friendship have made all the difference. To Heather Summers, not only are you one of my best friends, you are also one of the most devoted Domestic Violence Advocates there ever was—thank you for your important, yet often thankless work, for our long talks over the years, and for reading and providing feedback on this book when it was still kind of a mess. And Margo Smith, thank you for sharing your knowledge of criminal justice, and for talking me through the legal stuff I was sure I’d never get right.
I’m also grateful to the following people for making what is often referred to as a “lonely” profession a lot less so, and for welcoming me into an amazing community of generous, talented authors: Amy Reed, Robin Constantine, Jaye Robin Brown, Megan Miranda, Megan Shepherd, Rebecca Petruck, Brendan Kiely, the Nebo Retreaters, the Sweet16ers, and all the incredible YA authors with whom I’ve had the honor of serving on panels—I have learned so much from each of you.
And last but not least, thanks always to my family, to my dear friends, and to the many people, come and gone, who have taught me lessons in letting go.