I pulled away from Joe just in time to catch Troy’s expression of hurt and outrage before he turned and stomped back toward the open doorway.
“Wait, Troy!” I ran after him. “Wait!”
“What for?” he shouted over his shoulder. “What am I supposed to do? Stand around and watch while you fuck him?”
I caught up with Troy right outside the barn. “I wasn’t going to do that. I—It’s hard to explain. Troy, please don’t be angry, it’s just that, um…you kinda had to be there. I’m sorry.”
“I keep forgetting I don’t really know you at all.” His voice was clipped, angry. “This could be normal for you, and how the hell would I know? Rufus may have been right. Maybe he felt he had to keep the cowboys away from you so you wouldn’t be tempted since apparently it doesn’t take a helluva lot to do it. I guess I should have realized that from the start. You’re a little too easy for me, Angie. Maybe I should move on.”
Now, I was pissed. “I haven’t heard you complaining about me being too easy up to now. As I recall, it was you who asked me if I wanted a—how was it you put that? A slightly used boy toy?”
“Yeah, well, you took advantage of me,” he retorted. “I was thirsty and hungry and exhausted and had just gotten dumped on the highway by my girlfriend. Then you came along and gave me everything I needed in the space of an hour.”
“And why do you think that was?” My tone was softer now. He’d been hurt every bit as badly as I had been, and his wounds were still raw. I needed to remember that. “Because I was used to doing it? No, Troy, it was because it was unusual. I was so lonely. Trust me, I needed you just as much as you needed me.”
“You didn’t need me,” he insisted. “You’ve got Joe and Dusty. You don’t need me at all.”
“Yes I do. Joe just—”
“—happened to come in and tell me some trumped-up story about Calvin wanting to talk to me so he could get you alone. And now I find you out here kissing him.”
Obviously, I was going to have to tell him everything. “Troy, take it easy and let me explain. Joe wanted to talk to me about something Rufus said. I brought him out here so we wouldn’t be overheard. I’m not in love with Joe, but he’s every bit as lonely and miserable as the rest of us. I was only trying to—”
“Cheer me up,” Joe spoke up from behind me. “It wasn’t what it looked like, Troy.” Joe’s sidelong glance assured me he understood my motives completely. “I had an idea there was something going on between the two of you. I guess I was right about that.”
“If you thought that, then why did you kiss her?” Troy demanded.
Joe scuffed the toe of his boot in the gravel, staring down at the ground again. “You know how it is when a woman you care about says something nice to you,” he mumbled. “It gave me…ideas.”
“Oh yeah?” Troy’s voice had lost some of its heat. He seemed slightly mollified by our explanation, although not entirely. “Would you mind telling me whose idea it was for Angie to put her hand on your ass?”
“Mine,” I conceded, waving my errant fingers at him. “All mine. You know how I am about that. My right hand is the one to blame. It has a mind of its own sometimes.”
My confession drew a glimmer of a smile. “Yeah, I know about that.” He glanced at Joe. “Angie likes ass.”
“No kidding?” If the light had been better, I’d have said Joe’s eyes were twinkling.
Troy nodded. “You should have seen what she did to me last—”
“Hold on there, Troy,” I cautioned. “Let’s not be telling him everything. He might go running to Dad or Rufus, and then I’d be in even more hot water.”
“Aw, I wouldn’t do that,” Joe insisted. “But I wouldn’t mind hearing more about what you did to him. My own fantasies are getting kinda worn.”
“Use your imagination, Joe,” I suggested.
“Your wildest imagination,” Troy amended. “That way you might be able to think of something half as good as the reality.”
“Oh, don’t tell me that,” Joe groaned. “I feel deprived enough as it is.”
“Okay. That settles it,” I said. “We are all going out on Saturday night, and we’re going to find you a girlfriend. I’ll pimp for you if I must, but one way or the other, I’m getting you laid.”
“Promises, promises,” Joe mocked. “Bull’s always saying shit like that, but it never happens.”
I shot him a scowl. “Oh, come on, Joe! You wouldn’t want the kind of woman Bull hangs around with, would you? I’m gonna find you a nice girl who’ll love you to pieces. I already know a few things I can pass on as incentive.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, you know…great kisser, nice ass, hung to your—”
Joe silenced me with a hand over my mouth. “Hush, now. You couldn’t possibly know any more than that. Troy’s ready to mop up the floor with me as it is.”
“She’s right, though,” Troy admitted, albeit with obvious reluctance. “I’ve seen you coming out of the shower, Joe. You’re hung like a stud horse.”
I gazed up at Joe with newfound respect. “Damn. I knew I should’ve installed a peephole in the bunkhouse. Just think what I’ve been missing.”
Not surprisingly, Joe seemed rather pleased, smiling sheepishly as he shuffled his feet. “I dunno about that, but I can tell you this much, Angela. If you had a peephole, and we knew you were watching, there wouldn’t have been a soft dick in the place. We wouldn’t have told on you, either.”
Honest to God, I hadn’t had this much fun in years. “Aw, you mean your dick would get hard just because I looked at it? I never knew I had such an effect on you guys. Let me see.” I reached for his zipper.
“None of that, now.” Grabbing me from behind, Troy pulled me out of range. “I think we’ve created a monster, Joe. What do you think we should do with her?”
“I know what I’d like to do with her,” Joe said, chuckling. “But I don’t think you’d approve.”
“Ooh,” I said with fiendish glee. “Cluster fuck me in the bunkhouse?”
“Cluster fuck?” Joe’s eyes were as big and round as a pair of teacups. “Where on earth did you ever hear that?”
“My husband,” I replied. “You guys never knew about Cody and me, did you? On a typical day, we did the deed at least twice—and more often than that if we had the chance. I never bothered to check you guys out—never really needed to—partly because I didn’t have the time. Cody kept me pretty busy.”
Joe let out a low whistle. “I had no idea. I always knew you and Cody seemed happy, but I never knew you were that happy.”
“Well, now you know,” I said. “Is it any wonder I’ve been such a wreck since he died? I miss him every day, and not only because of the sex.” My throat constricted on a sob. “I loved him, Joe. I loved being in love with him, and I loved making love with him.” I paused briefly to wipe my eyes before tears ran down my cheeks. “Imagine what it was like for me to have that and then suddenly be plunged into the sterile existence I’ve had to endure ever since. No one looks at me, or touches me, or in your case, hardly ever even speaks to me.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t throw a rope on Dusty and tie him to his bunk and have your way with him,” Joe agreed. “Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t get desperate enough to do it to me.”
“Now, Joe,” I chided. “You’re not to say things like that about yourself anymore. I won’t allow it. A woman wouldn’t have to be desperate to want you. She’d just have to be—”
“Blind?”
“I wasn’t going to say that,” I insisted. “I was going to say… I don’t know what, exactly, but it wouldn’t take desperation. She’d have to get to know you well enough to appreciate your, um, hidden attributes.”
“Meaning you’d have to show her your dick,” Troy said, as though any clarifications were needed. “Trust me, Angie, if you’d ever seen it, you would never have picked me up, that’s for sure.”
“That good, huh?”
“I’m not overly fond of them myself,” Troy said candidly. “But I know a first-class dick when I see it, and he’s got one.”
“What about Dusty’s?” I was fascinated by the peculiar nature of this conversation, discovering things I never dreamed I’d ever have the chance to learn. “Is it as big as yours?”
“Never seen it when it was hard,” Troy replied. “But Joe there, he’s hard most of the time.”
I gazed at Joe with increased admiration, but I was also a tad concerned. “How do you ever manage to ride a horse? That has to be uncomfortable.”
Joe rolled his eyes. “Aw, he’s making that up. It’s not hard all the time, and to the best of my recollection, he’s only seen it once.”
“So, Joe, have you ever seen Dusty’s tool?” Knowing I might never have this opportunity again, I intended to pump them both for all the information I could get.
Bowing his head, Joe scratched the back of his neck as though trying to remember. “Can’t say I ever have,” he finally said. “He doesn’t sleep naked, so I’ve never seen it when he gets up in the morning, for example. Now, Bull, on the other hand… I’ve seen his plenty of times.”
“And?”
Joe’s grin was wider than ever. “Mine’s bigger.”
I giggled. “I was hoping you’d say that. Now, let me get this straight. Bull’s is smaller than yours, yours is bigger than Troy’s, and we don’t have any idea about Dusty. Is that right?”
“Hold on there now,” Troy said. “You’re making it sound like Bull and I are the same size.”
“Well, aren’t you?”
Troy shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got him beat too.”
“Great,” I said. “Now, we just have to find out about Dusty.”
“Find out what about me?” Dusty hobbled down the bunkhouse steps. “What are you guys talking about out here in the dark anyway?”
I considered it fortunate he hadn’t heard any more than he had, because if he could hear our discussion, Rufus might have overheard us too.
“Come over here for a minute, Dusty,” I called. “There’s something I want to ask you.”
Joe let out a loud guffaw. “Be careful now, Dusty,” he said between chuckles. “You might not like the question.”
I’d never seen Joe laugh like that before, and I was very happy to have witnessed it at last. Sex wasn’t the only thing I’d missed since Cody’s death.
Fun.
Laughter.
Joy.
My life had been devoid of those things in recent years. At the time, I didn’t even have my sons to joke around with. Only the occasional phone call since they’d gone back to college. I was so happy to finally have some fun with my cowboys; I never wanted it to end.
“Go on now,” Troy urged. “Ask him. I want to see his face.”
Neither Troy nor Joe knew anything about the kiss I’d shared with Dusty in the bunkhouse. Nor did they know that if things had gone a bit differently, I might have already known the answer to that question. The trouble was, Dusty hadn’t been in on the discussion the way the rest of us had, and he’d probably think we were nuts. I didn’t quite know how to phrase it.
“What’s up?” Dusty asked, eyeing me expectantly.
“I’m conducting a survey,” I began, trying to ignore the chuckles from Joe and Troy at Dusty’s choice of words. “We’re comparing, um, equipment size.”
“Aw, now, don’t be namby-pamby about it, Angie,” Troy said. “Ask him to show you his dick.”
Dusty gulped as though he’d swallowed his own tongue. For a second there, I thought I might have to Heimlich him to get him to start breathing again.
“Be quiet, Troy,” I admonished. “No one else had to show me theirs. I’m conducting a survey, not making an actual comparison.”
“It’d be more fun if you did,” Joe said under his breath. “A lot more fun.”
“True,” I agreed. “But I think I’ll stick to the original plan. Now, Dusty, comparatively speaking, where does yours fit in the bunkhouse lineup? You know, bigger than this one, smaller than that one—that sort of thing.”
He gaped at me for a long moment before he spoke. “I don’t know that I’ve seen all of them.”
“That’s okay,” I said, doing my damnedest to keep a straight face. “Just tell me how you’d fit in with the ones you’ve seen. I think between the three of you, you’ve probably seen them all.”
He shook his head, smiling. “I can’t believe this is what y’all were out here talking about. I guess that’s what I get for butting in on a private conversation.”
“Actually, you came at about the right time,” I said. “Go ahead and tell me, then we can talk about something else.”
Dusty took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “Bigger than Bull. Not as big as Joe. Never seen Calvin, Rufus, or Troy.”
“Well, isn’t that nice?” I said, not bothering to hide my delight. “Everyone is bigger than Bull. I always knew there was a reason I didn’t like him.”
“I always figured it was because he was an asshole,” Dusty remarked.
“Yes, but there had to be something else to clinch the matter. I believe this is it. Maybe we should call him Pencil Prick instead of Bull.”
“There’s still the question of which of the two of us is bigger,” Troy said, indicating himself and Dusty.
“You two might want to sort that out for yourselves and get back to me later,” I said. “Unless, of course, you want me to, um, judge the contest.”
Troy and Dusty exchanged a glance.
“Sure, why not?” Troy said with a shrug.
“Holy shit,” Joe exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’d agree to that. ’Specially after you got all pissed when you saw me kissing her.”
Dusty’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “You kissed Joe? Again? You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Okay, okay,” I grumbled. “So I’ve kissed all three of you. Are you going to ask me to decide who the best kisser is?”
Troy put up a hand. “Now hold on a minute. You kissed Dusty too?”
I was getting in deeper and deeper shit with each passing moment. Honesty truly was the best policy. “Remember that day you caught me in the bunkhouse with him? He asked me to kiss him, so I did.”
Troy’s hand dropped so fast he might’ve been swatting flies. “Fuck.”
“Dammit, Troy, will you make up your mind?” I snapped. “You’re willing to compare penises with him, but not kisses?”
“It’s different when all you’re gonna do is look at our dicks,” Troy said with a scowl. “I never said I wanted you to try us all on for size.”
“Good, because I wasn’t planning to,” I said. “Although…”
“Oh, here we go,” Troy grumbled. “Cluster fuck time.”
“Really?” Joe’s eyes lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. “Sounds like fun.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, not really. Besides, if I did that, none of you would ever trust me again. I have to draw the line somewhere.” Not that I wouldn’t think about it.
Probably my best fantasy ever.
“I’m glad you feel that way,” Troy said. “Because I’m about to give up my claim.”
Dusty pounced on that one right away. “What claim?”
“Oh, that’s right,” I said. “You don’t know. Troy has been my secret pal ever since he got here.” I hoped Dusty understood now why I hadn’t encouraged him any more than I had. I liked Dusty a lot, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“Better not let Rufus get wind of it,” Dusty advised. “Or he’ll be in bigger trouble than I am.”
“Speaking of trouble,” I began, “did you know he was planning to get rid of you?”
“I figured that would be next,” Dusty admitted. “But, hell, he’d have a much better case against the other two. I mean, he actually saw you kiss Joe.”
“So he’s talking about that already, is he?” Why am I not surprised?
“You better believe he is,” Dusty replied. “And when it comes to getting angry, he is the weirdest man you’ve ever seen. He goes sort of blank—doesn’t scream or yell or anything, but you know something will happen eventually. He doesn’t get mad. He gets even.”
“Joe and I have been discussing that,” I said. “I think there’s a bigger problem here than we realized. I think the best solution is to not let him single any of you out, which is why we’re all going out on Saturday night. I’ve got a little dust to blow in ol’ Rufus’s eyes.”
And that was exactly what I promised myself I would do. I would dance and flirt with every last one of them. I’d even flirt with Pencil Prick if he decided to come along—although it would probably kill me to do it.
“Good idea,” Joe said. “Dibs on the first dance.”
“Guess I’d better get a dance card for you guys to fill out, huh?” I winked at him. “After all, I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble.” Chuckling, I waved a hand and started toward the house. “Well, good night, boys. See you at breakfast.”
I’d only taken one step when Joe tapped me on the shoulder. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied, frowning.
“The survey?” Troy prompted.
“You don’t seriously want me to—”
“Oh, yes we do,” Dusty declared. “I want to know which one of us you would choose.”
Given the way he’d worded that last statement, I suspected Dusty of throwing down the proverbial gauntlet. Not who would win, but who I would choose…
“Okay,” I conceded. “But let’s go someplace else. I need better light.”