––––––––
“One lousy fish?” Enooya hollered, whacking her good-for-nothing husband with the tail fins. “You’re on the lake the whole day and all you manage to catch is one teeny, tiny trout?”
“I’m sorry,” Manoomee bleated. “They weren’t biting.”
“Just like they weren’t biting yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that? I tell you, give me one full day on the ice and I’ll bring back a dozen fish. I’ll bring a giant monster fish! First thing tomorrow I’ll be out on the ocean while you care for the elders with a rumble in your belly. See how long you can put up with—”
“Don’t go out on the ocean,” Manoomee interrupted.
Enooya folded her arms across her chest, the small fish dangling from one hand. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? You’re afraid the Kaloopalooit’s going to get me.”
She roared with laughter while Manoomee protested. “No, I’m not afraid. There’s no three-headed monster living in the cracks of the sea ice. The Kaloopalooit doesn’t exist. It’s just a story to scare children...”
“Well, then, I’m going to the ocean tomorrow,” Enooya said. “And I’m going to catch more fish than you’ve ever dreamed of.”
“But... but... but...”
“But what?”
“Well, it wouldn’t be a fair comparison, would it? Every day I fish in the lake. If I fished in the ocean, maybe I would catch a lot of fish too. If you want a real competition, you’ll have to fish in the lake.”
“Fine,” Enooya snapped. “I’ll fish in the lake.”
* * * *
Hour after hour, Enooya sat by the lakeside without a single tug on her line. When hunger got the best of her, she muttered, “Forget this. I’m not going one more day sharing a tiny spec of trout with the whole family. There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Trudging through the early spring snow, Enooya traced a path to the ocean. She stepped over the cracks until she was out just far enough to get her hooks into some massive Arctic char. They were down there somewhere, and Enooya had her heart set on iqaluk for dinner. Oh, she could see that silver skin, that pinky-red flesh. She could nearly taste it on her lips.
With no company but the blowing snow, she dunked her hooks into a crack in the ice. “Hey, all you great big fish out there,” she said to the ocean. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to become rich and famous.”
The snow blew harder across the ice, but no fish responded to her casting call.
“I’ll take anything,” she continued. “Any colour, any species, but the bigger the better. I’ll even take the Kaloopalooit if he’s around.”
As soon as Enooya spoke the sea creature’s name, the winds picked up. Her line tugged so hard she was hurled head-first toward the crack in the ice. It would only take a matter of moments in that glacial water before she’d be an ice block herself. Waves of warmth would envelope her until her heart stopped. She would die within minutes, and never again see Manoomee’s gentle face or the elders’ caring smiles.
They’ll remember me as a cruel mistress, whose harsh words cut sharper than a hunting knife, whose temper flared at the slightest criticism.
Pressing her knee down on the fishing pole, Enooya threw her hands forward to catch the lip of the fissure. Pushing against the ice, she sprang back, fighting the arctic winds. Her hair slapped wildly against her eyes until she saw more black than white.
Grabbing the fishing pole, Enooya stomped her cleats deep in the ice and rose to her feet. The wind pushed her toward the crack, but she held her ground. Her arms strained with effort as she pulled back, took one step, pulled harder, took another step. She couldn’t keep this up much longer. The pain in her legs and arms grew unbearable. She’d have to let go. Whatever was trapped at the end of her line was much too strong.
One last heave, then she’d give up on this catch.
Bending forward, Enooya summoned every ounce of strength to haul this creature out of the depths. Just as she pulled on the line, the tension released. She tumbled backward, landing with a thud against the cold, hard ice. The moment she fell, the wind let up and the sun broke through a sheet of grey clouds.
Tearing frosty hair from her eyes, Enooya got her first look at what remained on the line.
“I caught six fish,” she said in disbelief. “Six Arctic char, all at once! No wonder it was such a hassle reeling them in.”
Dusting the snow from her ass, Enooya stomped over to the flip-flopping char. Their silver skins glistened like jewels as she sang six little prayers of thanks.
“I can’t wait to get you guys home,” she told the fish. “Manoomee will hide his face in shame when all his buddies find out his wife is a better fisher than he is. Hell, I’m a better fisher than any one of those chumps. I should get in the trade. I could make some serious bucks. What do you think?”
The fish opened and closed their mouths, offering a silent reply.
“You’re right,” Enooya agreed. “I’ll take only what I need, and give back what I can. Just a few of you big fellas will feed my family well. The rest of you can go back to doing whatever it is char do.”
Enooya bent to unhook the superfluous mouths, and then laughed. “For a second, there, I was shaking in my boots, thinking I had the Kaloopalooit on my line.”
The moment she spoke its name, an icy sensation took her in its grips. Felt like someone shoved a snowball down the back of her long johns.
Enooya shuddered. Her fishing pole fell to the ground.
Ghostly silence swept across the sea. The day had been fairly warm and bright, so this chill running through her bones had nothing to do with the weather. Oh, enough already! She was overreacting, calling to mind folk tales her dad used to tell to keep the kids from playing near the cracks in the ice.
Every couple years, some cousin, neighbour child, or stranger wouldn’t heed the elders’ advice. They’d fall or get pulled in like Enooya nearly did today. But back when her dad told those Kaloopalooit stories, oh, she believed them all right. As the wind picked up, blowing snow across her feet, Enooya started to believe those stories all over again.
Pulling up the hood of her parka, she grabbed her fishing pole with six char still on the line. The wind gusted harder, nearly knocking her on her ass. She dug her cleats into the ice underfoot. That’s when she heard a voice of the wind, calling to her through the veil of blustering snow.
“Heeeeeeee... Nhooooooo... Yhaaaaaaa...”
Enooya’s feet froze to the ground. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was just the wind. I’m just worked up is all.
“Heeeeeeeeeeeeee... Nhooooooooooooo... Yhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...”
Enooya’s heart beat like a broken-down engine, like it was trying to hide behind her ribs. That was more than just the wind. That was a name; it was my name. I must have hit my head when I fell on the ice. This has to be some kind of hallucination.
“Who are you?” she cried, her voice echoing across the ice.
“Khaaa... Lhoooooooo... Paaa... Lhooooooooooo... Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...”
“Get me out of here!” Enooya shrieked, as if escape were an option.
Suddenly, snow was everywhere. Sharp flakes fell in her eyes like grains of sand, until she couldn’t keep them from watering. Her heart froze, and so did her tears. When her fight or flight instinct kicked in, she ran as fast as her heavy feet would take her.
Cold air tore Enooya’s lungs to shreds. She tasted blood at the back of her throat as she ran, seeing nothing but white. Above, below, straight on, to the left and the right—nothing but white all around.
In despair, Enooya fell to her knees. All this time she’d been running in the wrong direction.
Beads of sweat froze along her brow. Winter wind tore through her hair. Cold took over from hot until the perspiration down her back ran cold as ice. Nothing remained but a whisper, which escaped her chapped lips. “Save me, sweet death.”
Enooya fell face-first on top of the ocean ice. If she could only lie there for a little while, cold would melt into beautiful warmth. The horrible pain slicing like a fishhook through her chest would simply go away. When she awoke, the spirit world would greet her, and she would be happy forever.
A great rumbling from the bowels of the ocean shook the surface, and Enooya planted her face in the snow as a fissure ripped through the ocean ice. When sea water splashed up her nose, she jerked away from the tremendous crack, choking as salt burned her throat.
A creature burst from the giant hole, dreadful and beautiful. Its glistening scales shone so brilliantly Enooya had to shield her eyes. Its flesh glittered like fields of diamonds, gleaming with every shade of the ocean. It was blue as the blue whale, green as algae, turquoise as the southern coasts, and as silver as the Arctic char.
Before Enooya could make out anything beyond its dazzling colour, a slick tail coiled around her ankles. Her knees knocked together with a bony bang, sending streaks of pain down her legs. The coil tightened, slithering up her thighs, around the corpulence of her ass, slippery and smooth around her waist. She fell limp under the creature’s stranglehold. Her eyes shut. Her head tilted to one side, too heavy to hold upright.
The monstrous thing tugged so hard Enooya fell back with a thud. Her shoulder blades smacked the sea ice, making her ribs rattle. Her skull met the surface, and for a moment, everything went black.
Enooya didn’t struggle, even when the evil creature dragged her feet-first into the frigid ocean. It tugged her body toward the fissure, and there wasn’t a thing she could do to escape. It had her in its power.
There was a feeling of falling, and then everything changed. The cold transformed into warmth. Harsh weather turned balmy. She floated infant-like in the peace and comfort of a mother’s womb. Enooya had sunken leagues beneath the sea before she realized she was ensconced in water. Tranquility wrapped her in a warm embrace, soothing her worried mind.
Down, the monster pulled her until the sun faded to a speck of light in the darkness. Down, until seaweed caressed her cheeks. Down, until bottom-feeders scattered. Down, until her boots sank into the sandy floor and mud rose like a dust cloud. The water lulled Enooya until she felt safe and protected in the sea creature’s tight embrace.
Suddenly, Enooya realized she couldn’t breathe. The sharp sting of salt sliced through her nostrils and the tender lining of her throat. She tried to cough, but there was no air left in her lungs. Panic set in and Enooya struggled, but the monster’s grip only tightened. Its tail slithered toward her breasts.
A voice spoke so close behind her she felt the creature’s lips against her neck. “Breath I can give you, if breath you desire.”
Enooya nodded, too terrified to resist.
“In exchange, I ask only—”
“Anything!” Enooya tried to scream.
The monster must have understood because, before she could see precisely what was coming, a cold-blooded mouth pressed against hers. Its slithering tongue felt soft and smooth as a gold chain as it parted her lips.
The creature drew her close. Its seaweed breath spiced her mouth as its tail coiled around her shoulders.
Enooya gasped, breath-taken by her breath-giver.
Is this really the dreaded Kaloopalooit?
She’d held off believing, convinced it must be some run-of-the-mill sea creature.
But how many sea creatures speak? How many give the breath of life? How many kiss like this, both forceful as a demon and soft as dandelion feathers? And why, if it’s such an evil being, is my body melting like April snow?
A rush of hot-blooded desire coursed through her veins.
“Let me see your face,” she whispered, astounded by her miraculous ability to breathe underwater.
“Faces,” the creature replied, leaning back.
As Enooya’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, the creature’s shimmering skin sharpened to features. Three faces gazed back at her, as though the heads of beautiful men or women had been pressed through the skin of a stunning fish. Even in the dim light, its faces sparkled silver-blue. They hovered side to side like a cobra. Gills flanked their heads. Their grey, beady eyes reminded her of a trout. Streams of seaweed sprang like hair from their scalps, trailing ocean debris.
“You are the Kaloopalooit.”
“Of course,” burbled the sing-song head on the right, which possessed an air of utter contentment.
Despite the stench of rotting fish, the Kaloopalooit retained some alluring quality. Its glittering skin hypnotized Enooya, opening forgotten channels of suggestibility. The Kaloopalooit was beautiful and hideous all at once.
“Enough of this revolting generosity,” snapped the long face on the left side. “You owe us a favour, Enooya.”
“What do you want from me?” she asked, no choice but to obey this creature whose body was wrapped around hers.
“Children!” the miserable head barked.
“You want to have children with me?”
“No, miserable human! Bring us your children!” He licked his thin lips.
The kindly head at the right shushed the thin one. “You see, Enooya, children provide us sustenance.”
“Children are the core of our diet,” said the middle head, noble and proud.
“That’s impossible,” Enooya replied.
“We had an agreement,” the middle head continued. “A kiss is a binding contract.”
“No, I mean I can’t bring you my children because I don’t have any children,” Enooya explained. “I have a husband and parents.”
“Ewww...”
“Yuck!”
“Revolting!”
“I tried parents once,” said the middle head. “Parents were far too gamey for my liking.”
“Yes,” agreed the kind head. “We prefer plump, fresh children for our meals.”
“No parents!” cried the mean head. “We reject your parents!”
“That’s good, because I wasn’t actually offering them. My husband, on the other hand...”
Three faces stared in silence. Enooya felt smaller by the second.
“Children!” the mean one shouted.
“Look, I’m not getting you children, so you can just give it up right now.”
The coil circled tighter around Enooya’s core as the monster’s three heads gazed beseechingly, gallantly and broodingly.
Enooya had an idea. “Have you ever tried woman?”
“Woman?”
“Woman?”
“What is Woman?”
“Woman is a delicacy where I come from,” Enooya said. “Woman is tangy and sweet, fleshy and filling. Woman is the highlight of the buffet.”
“I would like to try Woman,” the thin face decided, licking his lips with a thick, pointed tongue.
“Well, you’re in luck because there’s a plentiful supply right before your eyes.”
The Kaloopalooit looked off in all directions.
“I mean me!” Enooya cried in exasperation. Slow learners, these sea monsters.
The Kaloopalooit’s six eyes took on an air of consideration as their heads bobbed in circles around Enooya.
“We would regret to destroy you,” said the noble one. “We have taken quite a liking to your form.”
“I haven’t,” grunted the mean one.
“Yes he has,” the plump one consoled.
“Destruction is not on the menu. Eating a woman is not like eating food. It’s done with great care and consideration.”
The monsters appeared puzzled.
“It’s like the kiss of life you gave me.”
“He gave you,” the nasty one clarified, with a nod in the noble one’s direction. “I would just as easily have let you die.”
“No he wouldn’t have,” said the kind one, shaking her head.
“It’s a kiss of life for the entire body,” Enooya went on.
The Kaloopalooit huddled out of earshot, whispering from one head to another. The mean one broke away, then returned begrudgingly to the conversation. There was a collective nod, though the nasty head did not seem so enthusiastic.
“We have agreed,” the noble one said. “We are very curious to taste Woman.”
I bumped my head on the ice. This is all hallucination. What does it matter?
“Taste away!” Enooya’s belly fluttered at the thought of three tongues slithering across her naked flesh.
Kaloopalooit indeed! There is no such thing as a Kaloopalooit.
“You’ll need to unravel me first,” Enooya told them. “So I can take off these layers of clothing.”
“What did I tell you?” the nasty head hissed at the others. “It’s a plan to escape.”
“I’m not trying to escape,” Enooya interrupted. “Trust me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But humans float!” he cried. “If we let you go, your body will return to the surface and we will not get our taste of Woman!”
“Anchor me by the foot, if you’re so concerned.”
Undulating in the seawater, all three heads turned to gaze at one another. Slowly, their body uncoiled like marine rope. The slithering motion felt so good Enooya rushed out of her clothes. Her jacket came off with lightning speed. For some reason, she thought it would float. Instead, it slumped to the ocean floor, raising a soft cloud of sand. Off came her sweater and her micro-fleece top. Off came her camisole, so the maternal seawater could caress her buoyant breasts.
The Kaloopalooit released its hold long enough for Enooya to kick off her cleats and boots, snow pants, track pants and long johns. She gasped as the monster’s slick tail glided down her neck, between her breasts, along her stomach. Her feet rose from the sandy ocean floor, opening wider the higher she floated. Its tail thrashed, coming at her swiftly, threatening to strike. To her great surprise, it smacked her squarely between the thighs. She closed her legs on instinct while that sparkling tail slid down her thigh, grasping her foot before she could float away.
Enooya’s spine became jelly. Her body waved like a flag in the salt water.
The stunning and strange faces approached hers, asking, “When do we eat?”
“The question you should be asking is how?” Enooya’s naked arms floated above her head. “It’s about kissing, not biting. Little bites are fine, but really it’s all in the tongue. It’s licking and sucking every inch of her body. That’s how you eat a woman.”
“But when?” the nasty one pressed.
Enooya couldn’t help but smile. “You eat now.”
Pulling her arms down, Enooya reached around the noble head. His scales felt like links of pure gold.
“You already know how to kiss,” Enooya said. “You kissed me before.”
“Yes,” the noble one confirmed.
Bringing the monster to her mouth, Enooya set her full lips on his thinner ones. They yielded like a human’s, though they were cold as a statue. At first, the Kaloopalooit made no movement, offered no response. Soon, though, the other heads hovered so close she felt claustrophobia setting in.
“When do we eat?” the kind voice enquired.
“There’s a whole body here to be consumed,” Enooya offered. “Fingers to toes. It’s your choice where to begin.”
The kind one lunged at her fingers, perhaps believing fingers or toes to be her only options. A slick tongue ingratiated itself in the gap between digits, taking two at once. Enooya’s body surged at the sucking sensation.
This must be what it feels like to be a man. This is what it must feel like to have your cock sucked: your body’s energies drawn to one small point by a wet tongue.
Soft yet forceful, Enooya pressed her kidnapped fingers against the silk walls of the stunning creature’s mouth. The teeth were sharp, issuing sweet piercings along Enooya’s knuckles as the kind one sucked her fingers into the depths of her throat.
And what to do with her own restless tongue? Nothing but kiss.
Lunging at the noble head, Enooya plunged through the creature’s teeth. His response was immediate, impassioned. His tongue made no allowances. It fought her deliriously at every step. His tongue advanced, assaulted and attacked. It conversed, feinted and fleched. He drew her in, drew her out, and all with a kiss. If her pussy hadn’t already been so wet, this would have done the trick.
Enooya throbbed when a new mouth wrapped itself around her toes. That tongue sent a bolt of pleasure through her core. She nearly kicked the monster’s face as he slithered beneath and between, sucking each toe in turn.
His technique echoed the kind one’s, who worked on Enooya’s fingers as the noble face ravaged her mouth. The harder the creature sucked her toes, the more forcefully she kissed, until her pleasure overwhelmed her. Her muscles went into spasm. She kicked so hard the Kaloopalooit tightened its grip on her ankle to avoid being struck.
Who’d have thought toe-sucking could bring me to orgasm?
“There’s more to explore,” Enooya told the monster, breathing hard. “You haven’t even started on the delicacies.”
Slipping her fingers from the sweet one’s mouth, she guided the noble creature until his lips perched before her weightless breasts. Her nipples grew hard with excitement. They bobbed in the warm water, hypnotizing the beautiful monster.
“Taste,” Enooya invited.
He did. A lick at the dark bud. Then another.
A tremble bent Enooya’s core, and her stomach fluttered. After those first few tentative licks, hungry ones followed. And then sucking, suckling. The kind countenance grew jealous, and Enooya invited her to dine at the other breast. The gentle one’s tongue wasn’t as soft as she thought it would be. The girl sucked hard enough to draw Enooya’s entire breast into her greedy little mouth.
Enooya’s body became a wave, writhing with every suck. A wet tongue worked its way up her thigh, and she leapt when it slithered across her pubic hair. The creature nuzzled her pussy lips, pressing gently against her erect clit.
She couldn’t actually see the monster, but she could certainly feel its smooth skin tracing the perimeter of her pussy.
The malicious monster didn’t hide for long. He lost his timidity with a vengeance, licking her pussy in broad strokes. Enooya’s stomach quivered. Her arms began to float up, up, up toward the sky, or at least to the surface. The lean one licked all in a frenzy until his licks became forceful penetrations.
This creature, this Kaloopalooit, had the longest, slickest tongue imaginable. It pressed itself, forced itself into that swollen cavern, searching in the dark for god-knows-what, petting and tickling forgotten spaces in Enooya’s cunt. She found herself thrusting in his face, begging to feel his tongue deeper and deeper inside.
The monster’s tongue emerged, trailing sweet nectar from Enooya’s pussy. Guiding it to her clit, he tickled her with the tip of his tongue. The monster’s tongues were like nothing she’d ever felt: slippery and slick, like a water snake’s tail. The nasty creature took her swollen bud between his lips and sucked—harder, then harder still. He jerked his head violently, in side to side motions, taking her hips along with him.
Before Enooya realized her breasts were floating free, a wicked tongue tickled the forbidden path to her ass. A smooth, wet thing traced the perimeter, forcing its way into her hole. The tongue in her ass elicited sweet convulsions, which drove her crazy every time its twin mouth sucked her clit.
Lulled by the surging seawater, Enooya fought to keep her eyes open. When the Kaloopalooit’s loveliest face kissed her shoulder, Enooya’s eyelids surrendered to overwhelming pleasure. She writhed in favour of the slick friction in her ass, the strong suction on her clit. When she cried out, a cool mouth muffled her shrieks.
Enooya twisted and swung. The sea drew her upward, yet she remained fixed to the bottom. She threw her hands around the nearest head, drawing it close. As her tongue wrestled the Kaloopalooit’s, waves of volcanic bliss warmed her core, rising, swelling, until it reached an explosive peak.
When the waves subsided, Enooya floated at the bottom of the ocean, moving in time with the gentle flow. Her arms and hair hovered overhead as she struggled against sleep.
“We enjoyed Woman very much,” the Kaloopalooit whispered. “Quite the delicacy.”
In her state of bliss, she wasn’t sure which head spoke. Enooya thought about the words, rolling them around in her mind for what seemed like many minutes, before she managed to speak. “I told you so.”
“Enough!” hissed the lean face, expert woman-eater. “Enjoyment is a trifle, useless in the absence of satiety!”
“You’re still hungry?” Enooya asked, eyeing the six Arctic char on her line. “Have you ever tried fish?”
“Fish are our neighbours,” the plump one replied.
“They are our friends,” the noble one explained.
“But I am hungry!” cried the mean one, tearing into a char. He chewed with noisy delirium. “Mmm... Fish are delicious!”
The other two eyed the char hesitantly.
“Much better than children,” Enooya said.
The noble and kind heads of the Kaloopalooit nibbled tentatively at the fish.
“Delicious!”
“Delectable!”
The Kaloopalooit conspired momentarily, and then returned their attention to Enooya. “We will make you a deal, human. If you return to us every spring through the cracks in the ice, and if you allow us to sample the delectable Woman each visit, we will dine on fish throughout the year. Your children will be safe from harm.”
Enooya chuckled to herself. Little did the triple-tongued sea monster know she’d have granted it weekly access. Daily, even!
“Do you agree to our terms?” the ice monster hissed.
“I agree.” Enooya bowed her head, playing the martyr. “To secure the safety of all Arctic children, I promise to return.”
The Kaloopalooit must have been satisfied, because it helped her into layers of clothing, topping them with her wet parka. Enooya grabbed her fishing rod and three remaining char just as the monster began its ascent.
Together, they soared through the water. Light cut through darkness, warming her skin as the monster launched her through a crack in the ice. Enooya reached for its glittering faces, but not fast enough. The Kaloopalooit sank beneath the frigid waters, splashing the tears from her cheeks.
Freezing and wet, Enooya ran home with dinner in hand.
“Enooya!” Manoomee cried, his face all concern. “What happened to you? You’re soaked! Are you all right?”
Tearing the layers from her icy skin, Manoomee wrapped his wife in a blanket and set her before the glowing fire.
“I caught six fish,” Enooya said, shivering.
“Three,” Manoomee corrected. “But three! Three is great! Three sure is a successful day at the lake.”
“Yes,” Enooya replied through chattering teeth. “At the lake...”