The morning sun peeked over the horizon straight into Ella’s eyes. She blinked awake, past the grit of the sand beneath her that had blown into her hair and lashes. Across from the dying fire, Linc slept soundly, his breathing deep and even. He lay on his side, and at some point during the night, he’d removed his shirt to use it as a pillow.
A smile crept over her face. If she remembered him right, he would have missed his expensive silk covered, feather-stuffed pillow from back home. A grouch would be joining her soon.
She sat up and threw another log on the fire and stoked it with a stick. She didn’t want to have to show him up again tonight with how to start a fire. Girl Scouts might have sold a lot of cookies, but they’d also taught her the basics. And right now, she was pretty proud she’d had the presence of mind to pay attention.
Linc roused and sat up, his hair askew and his eyes bloodshot. He rubbed his eyes, then cursed.
“I got sand in my eyes.”
Ella tried not to smile. He wouldn’t be able to see her anyway. But for his dignity and the fact that it could have very well been her instead kept her smile perfectly inside. It made her feel good to see him in a little bit of physical pain. After all he’d put her through over the years, she was pretty sure he could chop off a limb and it wouldn’t even compare to the pain in her heart right that second.
He was within reach. They were alone. But he was about as untouchable as he could get. Unreachable. That alone made her want to get off the island and fling herself back into the normal rhythm of life so she could push the memories of him far away again.
“First order of business is to find fresh water. An island this size has to have some sort of fresh water supply,” she announced, talking over his curses as he continued rub. “And by the way, the more you rub your eyes, you’re running the risk of scratching your cornea and becoming infected. Not something you really want to do right now. If you hold your eyes open long enough to let the wind dry them out, they’ll water and flush the sand out. And next time you wake up, think before you rub your eyes.”
Linc stopped rubbing and blinked as much as he could, effectively glaring through bloodshot eyes before he let out another string of curses. “How did I miss it?”
“Miss what?” She stoked the fire some more, then turned and picked up a banana for breakfast.
“How pompous you are?”
“You weren’t exactly interested in who I was before, but rather what I could offer you, Linc. Let’s not kid ourselves.”
His eyes were watering now, enough that he was snatching the tears away at warp speed. “How can you even think that, Ella?”
She gave him her most perfunctory smile, but didn’t say anything. Choosing to bite into her green banana, she focused on that for a while. Eventually Linc came and sat next to her, taking a banana from the stash as well.
“Eyes better?”
“Yes.” His curt reply told her he was angrier than she realized. She’d only seen Linc truly angry a handful of times, and all those times, he presented the same tone in his voice that he had right that minute.
“We’re gonna talk, Ella. Or at least, you’re gonna listen to some things I have to say. Whether you like it or not.”
“Suit yourself.” Pushing herself off the ground, she headed for the water, but not before he grabbed her arm.
“Where are you going?” he demanded, eyes flashing.
“To drown myself in my eternal pity.” She jerked her arm away, refusing to allow his touch to sear her skin the way it always did. “I’m going to cool off, Einstein, is that okay?”
“We’re still staying together, right?” he asked her, his eyes still red and slightly swollen.
“Yes. But I don’t think walking a few yards qualifies as separation.”
Linc fell silent, and she took her cue to walk away. She needed space. From him, from the situation, from everything that involved him.
She waded into the surf until she was knee deep. It was cool against her pants leg, but as the sun rose, it promised another hot and humid day. She’d probably need to tear her pants off to make shorts so she wouldn’t die of dehydration before they could find a fresh water supply.
Ella took a mental tally of their supplies. They had enough food to last them three or four more days at best. Only one bottle of water to last them until a supply was found.
For the first time since they arrived, Ella began to wonder if they were truly stranded. Not a single airplane had flown over during the evening or morning. No boats had passed by. What would they do? Surely Sheena would miss Linc before too much longer and send out a search party. She wondered briefly how she would react when she found out they’d been together the whole time. Did Sheena even know about her?
During the night, Linc’s boat had lain completely on its side, over half of it under water. It would take a lot of manpower to raise it and bring it in for repairs. Might be worth it to scrap and just buy a new one since he could afford five of them.
Ella rolled her eyes. What had she ever seen in Linc Ellis anyway? She huffed. She’d seen his caring and tender heart, his need for her, his constant love that always shone brightly in his eyes. His beautiful green eyes that could love her thoroughly with only one look. His blond hair that always seemed a bit too long and shaggy for a man of his means.
Ella sighed. There was no use in thinking about the past. She might be here with him now, but like she’d thought earlier, he was untouchable. In love with another woman. Engaged to another woman.
She crossed her arms and turned to walk back to shore. They needed to get a move on finding fresh water.
But Linc stood on the shore, his own arms crossed as he stared at her. His eyes were still swollen, but he made for a handsome view, standing there still without his shirt. The years had been kind to him and he clearly worked out. A six-pack set of abs didn’t just happen when you sat at a desk all day. He definitely worked out.
“Like what you see?” he asked as she neared, a self-satisfied smirk on his tanned face.
“You wish.”
Just as she passed him, his arm shot out and grabbed her, reining her in far too close.
“What were you thinking about out there?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
“How to get off this island,” she lied. She couldn’t allow him to know that her thoughts were pretty much about him 24/7 right now. How could they not be with him looking like that?
“You’re lying.” He grinned again, but this time it was tender and his hands ran down her arms, causing chill bumps. “But tonight, we’re gonna talk. Okay?”
“No.”
“Yes. I’m not asking.”
“You don’t own me, Linc. Not anymore.”
“I never did.”
“I guess if it helps you sleep at night, keep telling yourself that.”
“Ella, you never needed me. Not once did you complain about my hours. You never asked me to spend time with you. In fact, if I had a few spare minutes, you were usually off with your friends or studying. You never had time for me. I felt like eventually, I should probably get the hint. You just kept me around for when you were bored, I guess.”
Ella stared at him, stunned. Did he truly believe that? That she’d never needed him? That she hadn’t pined for him and only as a last resort made plans with her friends so she could keep herself from the pain of rejection? Even now, she kept busy to keep her mind off him.
“That’s not true,” she felt the need to say. “Not true at all.”
“Then what is true, Ella? Tell me.”
Without warning, tears welled in her eyes, and she wrenched away from him. She’d sworn a long time ago he’d never see her cry. But now maybe she should have let him.
“All I know is you used to complain about other women always being needy and driving you crazy with it. I didn’t want to be like them.”
Linc’s hands settled on her shoulders and she felt him place a kiss on the back of her head. “With you, it was different. I needed you far more than I ever needed them.”
“You never said so. You just acted like all you wanted was the physical. I never knew what to expect from you.”
Linc gently urged her to turn. She tried to resist, but his soft tone was no match for her will.
“Ella.”
She looked up at him expectantly, snatching tears away as she did so.
“I loved you.” His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb lightly caressing her bottom lip.
She couldn’t help but dwell on how he’d said it in the past tense. Suddenly, Ella was angry with herself again. How had she let this happen? Just when she was determined to put him behind her, here she was on a stupid tropical island alone with him. Of course he was going to go for the physical. He was a man. He was trying to seduce her and she refused to let him. She refused to allow herself to feel like that again.
“If you think for one second you’re coming back in my life, you can go get eaten by a shark. We’re done, Linc. Done. Sheena is your choice. Just because we’re out here alone and physical attractions are coming back, doesn’t mean you have to act on them. You just said loved. Which means you no longer love me. Just like I no longer love you. That’s not going to change. And it’s certainly not going to change while we’re on this island.”
Linc’s hand dropped and his gaze hardened. His mossy green eyes turn a shade of turquoise as he frowned at her. “You don’t know anything about me. You don’t anything about how I feel or what I felt for you. You were never there. You didn’t need me.”
“All past tense. Let’s keep it there.”
Ella turned away from him, headed toward the thick vegetation where she thought they might have some luck finding water. She snatched their water bottle off the ground as she passed by and called over her shoulder, “If you don’t want to get separated, I suggest you come with me. We need to find fresh water.”
****
Linc and Ella didn’t speak much of their trek to find water. There was, indeed, a tiny stream they found just below the small mountain. She filled their water bottle and spoke without looking at him.
“I think we need to move our base camp here. It’s not too far from the coast and we can still have a signal fire or spell something out. And it keeps us in the shade and ready access to water. Sheena will send the coast guard out looking for you before too long.”
Linc said nothing. He was still stunned over their morning talk. How could he have possibly gotten it wrong after all these years? Had she really loved him so much she sacrificed her own needs for him? Didn’t want to be a bother to him? She’d never been the type of girl to ask for anything, and that alone told him that she was different. Most of the girls, including Sheena, found ways to tell him about expensive things they desired, and he always found himself buying it for them. Just this past month, he’d bought Sheena the brand new Corvette she’d been eyeing just to make her happy.
But not once had Ella asked for anything. Not anything of him physically or emotionally, not anything worldly, nothing. Had it all been a ploy? A way for her to keep him because she loved him? What if she knew that if Sheena was here right now, he’d tell her he couldn’t marry her? That this trip had proven to him that his feelings for Ella were just buried instead of over?
The revelation left him reeling. He’d never not loved Ella. Sure, he’d made himself forget her for a little while. Buried himself deeper in his work, found other means of distraction in the form of women, travel, and occasionally alcohol.
The cold, hard reality was he couldn’t deny it. Her whole demeanor spoke of the pain and hurt he’d put her through. The old Ella was still there, but right now she was prickly as a wounded bear and leery of him. How did he not see it before now?
Now the question was, what did he want to do about it? Obviously, calling off the wedding with Sheena wouldn’t be easy, but he would do it, even if Ella pushed him away again. He couldn’t go into a marriage right now with this kind of feelings for someone else.
Linc looked at Ella. Really looked at her. Her back was ramrod straight and the shorts she wore were crusted with salt now. On her feet were still those blasted shoes and he could see the hike had left another trail of blood down the back of her foot. They had to be uncomfortable. Her shoulders were stiff as she drank her fill of the fresh water and then silently handed him the bottle to do the same. Even angry with him, she was still kind and thinking of him.
He suddenly wanted to kiss her senseless. Tell her he understood everything and they could try again. But the timing was off. There was work to do if he wanted her to trust him again, and he did. He also wanted her again. Over and over and over again.
But this time, he had to keep the physical out of it. They’d both accused each other of wanting only each other’s body. Now he knew when they’d first made love, it was one of the few times she’d let him in emotionally as well. And she’d been a virgin. He wanted her trust to now be the rule instead of the exception, not the other way around. Resolved, Linc stood.
He had work to do.