24
From Transcript of Kennedy/Ryan Court of InQuiry: Day Two
THE Court met at 0912. Present: Vice Admiral Ausura, U.S. Navy, President; Rear Admiral Morehead, USN, member; Rear Admiral Dennison, USN, member.
Lieutenant Commander Stanley F. Johnstone, U.S. Naval Reserve, counsel for the Court.
Lieutenant Robert Hauck, USNR, representing Commander Packer.
MR. CHARLES BARRETT: Sir, if it please the Court, I have been retained by the widow and friends of Lieutenant Alan Evlin as his counsel and request the rights of a party.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Mr. Barrett has appeared before military courts many times and is well known in Washington. He has been granted clearance up to the secret level.
THE COURT: We regret the necessity for admitting additional individuals to this investigation. However, it is true that Lieutenant Evlin has the rights of a party. You are recognized as his counsel.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: Thank you, sir.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: This morning I will begin by recalling our primary witness of the events on RYAN’s bridge just before the collision. He will provide us with a detailed reconstruction of the maneuvers leading to the incident. I would like to defer cross-examination until we have completed this reconstruction. Then I will turn him over to Lieutenant Hauck and Mr. Barrett.
At this time, the counsel for the Court recalled Ensign Daniel Lenson. He resumed his seat as a witness and was reminded that his oath was still binding.
* * *
HE sat in the same hard chair, in the same dull light. His body felt numb and bloated, as if it were made of plastic foam.
“You are the same Ensign Lenson, the senior surviving member of Ryan’s bridge team, who previously presented a written narrative of events leading up to the collision between Ryan and Kennedy?”
He told Johnstone that he was.
“Do you feel up to testifying? It may become somewhat stressful.”
“I will cope with it to the best of my ability, sir.”
“Do you feel that your recollection as to these events is trustworthy?”
To hell with you, Dan thought. Aloud, he said carefully, “I believe so. I may be off by a minute or two, but I remember what happened.”
“Were any of the records such as the deck log or engineering bell book saved after the collision?”
He resigned himself to the grinding of Johnstone’s mill. “No,” he muttered, settling himself for a long siege.
Q. You know of no documentation whatsoever that was saved?
A. No, sir.
Q. Now, on the night you had watch, what was the command situation?
A. We were under Captain Packer’s command.
Q. I mean external to the ship.
A. We were under the tactical command of the flag on KENNEDY, CTG 21.1.
Q. Was there a screen commander?
A. The captain of DEWEY was screen commander.
Q. What was the condition of the ship at the time she joined this task group?
A. We had undergone heavy storms in the Arctic and sustained damage. Pumps and evaporators were down. The forward mount was smashed in and we had taken water forward and aft.
Q. In your opinion, did any mechanical failure or material deficiency on USS RYAN contribute to the collision and subsequent loss of life?
A. They may have contributed, yes.
Q. What is your opinion of the general state of training and morale aboard?
A. I think the state of training was okay. We had some good men. But they were overworked and morale was poor.
Q. Did the helmsmen and lookouts perform properly?
A. The helmsmen did. I had to ride BM3 Pettus about the lookouts.
Q. Why?
A. They—one in particular—did not stand proper watches. I had caught him sleeping on watch before and found him flaked out again a few minutes before the collision.
Q. Please define “flaked out.”
A. Asleep on watch.
Q. Did you place him on report for this, or take other action?
A. I told him I was placing him on report.
Q. Who was this man?
A. Seaman Recruit William Lassard. I believe he was one of the causes of the accident.
Q. How so?
A. It was a complicated situation that goes to the root of what was wrong on RYAN. I believe he used drugs and sold them to the rest of the crew. Earlier in the cruise, someone, several men, one of whom I believe to be Lassard, shoved me around on the fantail at night and I almost went overboard. In fact, I did go overboard, but caught the propeller guard and pulled myself up after they left. I reported this to the XO and to the captain and they instructed me to keep it under my hat until we returned to Newport, and Lassard would be taken care of there.
Q. This is the man who was port lookout?
A. Yes.
Q. How do you relate him to the collision?
A. I have thought this over for some time. I believe what might have happened is that the captain went out on the wing to pick up KENNEDY. He may have asked the lookout where the carrier was. If Lassard gave him the wrong bearing, he would have been looking at CALLOOSAHATCHEE, quite a few degrees to the left. If he thought that was the carrier, he might have concluded we were too far to the right.
Q. Did this man survive the sinking?
A. He is present in this room.
Q. We will examine him this afternoon. Now, Mr. Len-son, would you go through the sequence of signals before the collision once more?
A. We were on zero-one-zero, twenty knots, heading almost due north. The first signal brought the formation course right to one-zero-zero, a little south of due east. Then we had a flight course order to two-six-zero, almost due west, and increased speed.
Q. Why were two course orders given? Why didn’t the carrier simply come all the way around to two-six-zero?
A. My understanding of the matter—according to the maneuvering instructions, you can’t make a course change of greater than 180 degrees in one signal. You have to do it in steps to make sure everyone turns the same way.
Q. Those were the only signals before the collision?
A. As far as I heard.
Q. Is it possible you did not hear a signal?
A. I suppose so, especially as the time of collision neared.
Q. Were all the alidades on the bridge working?
A. Yes—no, they were not. The starboard alidade was fogged.
Q. Did you report this?
A. No. It had been fogged up since we got to the Arctic. We used the centerline and port alidades instead.
Q. Did the captain know this?
A. I think—no, I don’t know if he did or not.
Q. Did he use the starboard alidade?
A. Not to my knowledge.
Q. Did RYAN or KENNEDY sound any signals prior to the collision?
A. RYAN did not. I recall a whistle from KENNEDY, but that was during or just seconds prior to colliding.
Q. Did either ship turn on its navigation lights full?
A. I don’t think so.
Q. Now, Mr. Lenson, we have brought into court a chalkboard, a pad of maneuvering-board paper, parallel rules, and dividers. I ask you to illustrate the position of the two ships, the maneuver in which they engaged, and the sequence of events leading up to collision. We will photograph the results and offer them in evidence.
A. Yes, sir.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Let the record show the witness is drawing on the blackboard.
WITNESS: [indicating chalkboard] At 0100, we were steaming on course zero-one-zero degrees, speed twenty knots. KENNEDY was in the center of the formation. The first signal changed formation course to one-zero-zero, about here. This was the first indication we had of her coming around. The second signal, turn two-six-zero, speed twenty-seven, brought her around to point almost directly at us. We had to maneuver such that we would end up astern of her and a little to port.
The maneuver the captain planned was to come right to one-three-zero until KENNEDY was somewhere along this line [indicating]. After we passed her, we were to come left with hard rudder. That would slide us into position astern. We were to start the maneuver as soon as the turn was executed and time the last part of it by watching KENNEDY’s lights.
What actually happened was that we came to one-three-zero as planned and held that course for about a minute and a half or two minutes. The captain then took the conn and came left to zero-nine-zero. We held that course for a minute or two, then in here some place [indicating] for some reason the captain gave a left hard rudder. The effect of this was to cut across the bow of the carrier, and she hit us.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Now, you say this was all diagrammed on a maneuvering board. Did you see this diagram?
A. No, sir, I base my reconstruction on what I heard. The carrier had headed west to launch her planes on the previous watch and everyone assumed that they’d recover on the same course, or close to it, since the wind was the same.
Q. And RYAN had been assigned plane guard then, is that correct?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. And what is that station?
A. It is 1,000 yards astern of the carrier offset twenty degrees.
Q. And Mr. Evlin had discussed the maneuver with Commander Packer?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Will you relate that conversation to the court?
A. I heard only part of it. It started out that the captain had forgotten his pipe and Mr. Evlin asked him why not go and get it. Then he said, “Well, you know about the time I leave they’ll put a signal in the air.” The lieutenant said he could handle it. The captain asked him what he would do if they came to two-six-zero. Mr. Evlin told him he would do the maneuver the same way he had before—come around to the right with ten degrees rudder, slow down, wait for KENNEDY to pass, then fall in behind her.
But as Mr. Silver testified, we had received that signal when we joined, saying that when a destroyer wasn’t on station, it wasn’t doing any good; that there wouldn’t be any more sluggishness, something about love being dependent on timing, and that from now on ships would get to station by the fastest means possible even if they made a mistake. So when Alan—Lieutenant Evlin—said that, the captain blew up and said no, that would take forever. He then outlined the maneuver he wanted.
Q. After Mr. Evlin had recommended a more conservative maneuver?
A. Yes, sir; as I said, they had words over it.
Q. What did Mr. Evlin say, as precisely as you can recall?
A. He admitted the captain’s solution would be faster, but he said it would take us too close to the carrier, and that she would be pointing right at us at some point.
Q. This message you refer to was from Rear Admiral Hoelscher?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. And who assigned you to plane guard station?
A. Beacon—that would be him. Or his staff, I guess.
Q. Who receipted for that order?
A. Lieutenant Evlin made the call on the pritac. As I said yesterday, they forgot to assign a plane guard, and he wanted to clarify that it would be us again. That was logical, since she was turning toward us. It was easier for us to fall in astern than for another destroyer to try to catch up.
Q. That question was raised subsequent to the execution of the signal to turn two-six-zero?
A. It was answered in the same transmission as the execute signal.
Q. All right. Now the carrier has turned toward you. RYAN is on course one-three-zero, heading for her new station astern of her. At what point did the captain take the conn?
A. About a minute and a half after we had steadied up on two-three-zero. I mean, one-three-zero.
Q. Take your time. Who had the conn at the moment of collision?
A. Commander Packer.
Q. How long did he have it before the collision?
A. It is hard to say, but I would guess—I would estimate, no longer than two or three minutes.
Q. Let us return to the moment when he ordered a course change forty degrees to the left. Did either you or Mr. Evlin raise any objection to that order?
[Witness requested a glass of water. When he was refreshed, the question was repeated.]
A. Not immediately. Mr. Evlin went to the chart table to check what it would do. I went out to the wing for another bearing on KENNEDY. I recall now that when I went to use the alidade, it was set a few degrees off to the left. That might have been where the captain left it when he had gone out a moment before to do the same thing.
Q. But no one made any verbal objection?
A. Yes, we did. A minute or so later, I came back and told the captain the bearing to the guide was zero-eight-zero. At the same time, Mr. Evlin said that the new course put us only 400 yards from the carrier.
Q. When you took this last bearing, did you observe KENNEDY’s sidelights?
A. I have the impression of having seen green lights, more than one. I am almost sure I saw them, but things were happening so fast, I couldn’t swear to that.
Q. How long before the collision was it that you saw the green lights?
A. Not more than a minute.
Q. And you did not report them?
A. I was not sure they were running lights. They were dim and there were all kinds of deck-edge lights and others. I think they were turned on for aircraft recovery.
Q. You are positive that the maneuver the commanding officer had in mind ended with a left turn rather than a right?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. And your explanation of the reason Commander Packer decided to depart from his plan was that he mistook the lights of CALLOOSAHATCHEE for those of KENNEDY?
A. As I have said, I believe he was misinformed by Lassard and focused his attention on the wrong lights.
Q. Had any maneuvering-board solution been done that included a course of zero-nine-zero?
A. Not to my knowledge.
Q. Now, when the captain received these two pieces of information—your bearing and Evlin’s estimate of how close RYAN would pass KENNEDY—what was his response?
A. He hesitated, then increased his rudder.
Q. To the left?
A. Yes, sir. I had gone out on the wing again by then. I realized that the carrier was almost on us, and went back inside. The captain then increased his rudder to hard left and ordered all engines ahead emergency flank.
Q. Which would give what speed?
A. We had boiler power for thirty knots.
Q. And then you collided.
A. Yes, sir. Another 200 feet and we would have made it. Or if the captain had given a right rudder instead of a left, we might have shaved down KENNEDY’s side, but not hit her.
Q. Did you see the commanding officer after the collision?
A. We spoke on the wing, as I described yesterday.
Q. At what point did you leave the ship?
A. As I said, after leaving the bridge, I went about the ship, down to the second deck to release a man from the brig. I helped others find their way topside. Then I went over the side.
Q. Would you describe the situation after the collision?
A. It was chaotic. Because of the fire and the fact we were cut in half, there was no opportunity to muster at life-boat stations. Each man went over on his own. Fortunately, there were plenty of life jackets. But they didn’t protect us against the cold. That was why the absence of the ship’s boat is disturbing.
Q. Have you any criticism to make of the search-and-rescue effort?
A. Of the search-and-rescue, no. I have two questions, though, one concerning the return of the carrier; the other concerning where RYAN’s boat went after the ship went down. If this is the place to raise them.
Q. It is.
A. My first question concerns KENNEDY’s return. Lieutenant Evlin and others were still fighting the fire when the carrier hit us again. There were still men aboard and many in the water nearby. Then, after that, the ship’s boat disappeared. The combination of these two events is why there were so few survivors. Most of the men who died did so after the initial collision. I hope we will find out why.
The witness requested a short break. A fifteen-minute recess was granted.
* * *
EXAMINATION recommenced.
Q. You have referred to a message directing RYAN and other screening units to expedite getting on station?
A. Yes, sir.
The counsel for the Court requested the reporter to mark a message Exhibit B. It was so marked and submitted to the parties and to the Court.
Q. I hand you a message marked Exhibit B. Would you read it, please?
A. “From: CTG 21.1. Action: TU 21.1.2. Subject: Maneuvering. This exercise will test and hone our performance of screening and close-in maneuvering. At 2000Z all units will set and adhere to wartime conditions including radar silence and dimmed lighting. All commanding officers bear in mind that when units are not actually on station they are not contributing to fighting effectiveness of task group. They will accordingly eschew sluggish maneuvering and change stations in the most expeditious manner. In war as in love timing is everything. Prompt and resolute action even at the expense of an occasional mistake is a hallmark of smart destroyer outfits. Admiral Hoelscher sends.”
Q. That is the message to which you were referring?
A. Yes. I think this was the reason Commander Packer decided on a risky maneuver rather than the safer one Lieutenant Evlin recommended.
Q. Can you explain why, feeling as you do, you did not object?
A. Well, Mr. Evlin already had, and the captain overruled him pretty strenuously. Maybe I should have spoken up, too, but I was not confident enough in my understanding of the matter to do so.
Q. After Commander Packer gave his order to come left, then increased his rudder to left full, did it not occur to you to warn him that it would bring him into the path of KENNEDY?
A. I should have. I did not. I thought he knew better than I did what was going on.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: This concludes my reexamination of this witness. Do the other counsels desire to cross-examine?
COUNSEL FOR CDR PACKER: I so desire, yes.
* * *
CROSS-EXAMINED by counsel for Commander Packer.
Q. Mr. Lenson, when RYAN came left to course zero-nine-zero, you left the pilothouse to check the captain’s solution, is that correct?
A. No, sir. I crossed the bridge to use the alidade on the port wing. It was Lieutenant Evlin who checked the course at the chart table.
Q. And your conclusion was that he would pass close to the KENNEDY?
A. Again, that was what Lieutenant Evlin said. His solution showed us passing her within 400 yards, which at night, at sea, without radar, is too close.
Q. In which direction?
A. On KENNEDY’S port side.
Q. Is that why you intimated in your previous testimony that you were surprised that the captain turned left?
A. Yes, sir. If he had just held his course, there would have been a close passage, but we would have all been safe.
Q. Now, when you were out on the wing: Could you see the running lights of the KENNEDY?
A. I could see lights.
Q. “Lights”?
A. Yes, sir. As I testified, there were many small dim lights on the carrier’s bearing. I could not distinguish the running lights among the others.
Q. During the time RYAN was on zero-nine-zero, did you get any reports from the lookouts?
A. No, sir.
Q. Did you have any reports from your lookouts at all between the turn to one-three-zero and the collision?
A. Not that I recall.
Counsel for Commander Packer had no further questions of this witness.
* * *
CROSS-EXAMINED by counsel for Lieutenant Evlin.
Q. Mr. Lenson, I am coming in in the middle of this case and we will perhaps go over some material already covered. I would appreciate your correction if I err. Now, during the period you were on watch, you said the captain was off and on the bridge. How often was he off?
A. He was on the bridge from about—from when I came on at 0100; he went to his sea cabin for a while, till Lieutenant Evlin called him about the turn; then he came back up at 0200 or 0205. He was on the bridge from then on, except for the short time when he went aft to get his pipe, about 0210.
Q. So that while you were in the screen, steaming in close proximity to other ships, the captain was off the bridge more than he was on it, during the period of your watch?
A. That is misleading on two points, sir. First, we were not “in close proximity” when we were in our screen station. Second, although he wasn’t there every minute, he was in phone contact and came back immediately when we began our course change.
Q. Was the executive officer on the bridge at any time during your watch?
A. No, sir. Occasionally he came to CIC, but I have never seen him on the bridge.
Q. What kind of information were you getting from CIC?
A. None. CIC was secured because the radars were not operating.
Q. Mr. Lenson, are you a qualified conning officer?
A. No, sir.
Q. You have had extensive training, then?
A. At the Academy, but this was my first time in actual fleet steaming.
Q. How long had you been on RYAN?
A. About two and a half weeks.
Q. RYAN was your first afloat duty?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. So that about two and a half weeks is the sum total of your Navy experience?
A. Well, yes.
Q. Isn’t it a little odd that you would be assigned to such an important watch with no training?
A. I did—that is, I had some training.
Q. Was RYAN shorthanded?
A. Not in terms of number of officers. But the captain wanted Lieutenant Talliaferro, the chief engineer, off the watch bill. The plant was old and needed attention. So he did not stand bridge watches.
Q. How long had Mr. Evlin been aboard?
A. He said to me once he had been aboard for almost two years.
Q. Did you have confidence in him?
A. Yes, sir, he was a very good officer.
Q. Can you tell us how much experience the bridge team in general had in formation maneuvering?
A. Well, that calls for a comparison I’m not—I can’t answer that. I had not been in formations before. I suppose Mr. Evlin had. I’m sure the captain had.
Q. But he was only on the bridge sporadically. Would it be fair to say, Mr. Lenson, that in terms of any assistance or backup whatsoever, Lieutenant Evlin was essentially alone on the bridge of USS RYAN that night?
COURT: You have just established that your witness is incapable of answering that question intelligently, Mr. Barrett.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: I withdraw the question. Would you describe the lights burning on RYAN on the night of the collision?
A. Dimmed navigation lights.
Q. Please describe them.
A. It would be masthead and range, and port and starboard and stern lights.
Q. But that is the normal lighting for a ship under way.
A. Well, dimmed I guess would be cutting down the illumination from them. There’s a switch on the light panel that you throw to turn on the navigation lights, and it has a Dimmed position.
Q. Did you check them when you came on watch?
A. The boatswain’s mate did that. He reported to me that the lights were burning.
Q. Did you verify that?
A. No, sir.
Q. So in fact, one or more of the lights might have been out?
A. It is possible, if Pettus did not bother to check them. But I’m sure he did.
Q. Correct me if I am wrong, but is it not one of the duties of the junior officer of the deck to check the running lights personally when he comes on watch?
A. [witness paused.] I believe it is.
Q. And you did not?
A. No, sir. I was late relieving and I did not check the lights.
Q. Let’s go on. What was RYAN’s turning radius?
A. I think—I think about 1,200 yards.
Q. At what speed?
A. At standard—at fifteen knots.
Q. And how fast was the ship traveling when Mr. Evlin and the captain were doing their calculations?
A. Twenty-seven knots.
Q. What is the turning radius at that speed?
A. I’m not sure. Probably less than 1,200 yards.
Q. But you’re not sure?
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Mr. Barrett, the ensign has said clearly that he was not.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: Thank you, sir. I withdraw that question, as well.
Let us go on now to the maneuver that Evlin recommended versus the one Packer ordered. Can you reproduce from memory the maneuvering-board solution that he and Commander Packer discussed, as you said in your testimony?
A. Yes, sir, I think I can. [Witness illustrates.] Commander Packer asked him what he would do if the carrier came to a recovery course around two-six-zero. He told him he had worked it out and that he—
Q. Who?
A. Lieutenant Evlin. He intended to slow to fifteen knots and turn right, away from KENNEDY, all the way around to two-six-zero; wait for her to pass us; then fall in astern. The captain said that was too slow. He wanted him to come only slightly right instead and head down the carrier’s port side at flank speed, making a hard left turn into station when he was past her. They had a disagreement about it, and the captain told him to do the maneuver his way.
Q. Did you hear Lieutenant Evlin object to the solution?
A. Yes, sir. That’s what I meant by a disagreement.
Q. Did you feel that the maneuver the captain ordered was dangerous?
A. Well, not exactly. But it sounded riskier than the solution Mr. Evlin wanted.
Q. But you didn’t make your misgivings known to anyone.
A. As I said, it was the first time I’d been in this situation.
Q. In other words, you had not been adequately trained?
A. I don’t know.
Q. But you said nothing?
A. I said nothing.
Q. Let’s go on. If you had been watching KENNEDY, could you have seen her at all times?
A. That’s an unfair question, sir. Mr. Evlin wanted a bearing on her every ten minutes. I did that. I also had other things to do on the bridge.
Q. I stand corrected. Now, do you recall what Mr. Evlin, your OOD, did after the captain relieved him of the conn?
A. He went to check the new course on the maneuvering board.
Q. He no longer was in charge of the ship?
A. No, sir, the captain had taken the conn.
Q. What precisely does that mean?
A. That Commander Packer was responsible for subsequent maneuvers.
Q. And you heard him, the captain, take the conn?
A. Yes, sir, distinctly.
Q. And he legally took control of the ship from that moment on.
A. That is the way I understand it.
Q. What was your status as a result of this?
A. Mine?
Q. That is correct. How did your status change as a result of the captain’s taking the conn?
A. I’m not sure. I suppose I was still the JOD.
Q. And your duty then would be to assist whom?
A. The captain?
Q. Please answer.
A. I suppose it would be to assist the captain, since he had become the conning officer.
Q. And did you then assist him?
A. I was confused. I went out on the wing to try to clarify the situation in my mind.
Q. Mr. Lenson, in your opinion, was there anything that could have saved RYAN after the collision took place?
A. I don’t think so, sir. I heard DC1 Traven’s testimony and it seems to me—
Q. Personal knowledge, please.
A. I don’t think she could have been saved.
Q. Even the forward section of a ship has considerable buoyancy. Did you consider staying aboard to try to save her, as Lieutenant Evlin apparently did?
A. I trusted the judgment of the captain and followed his order to abandon ship. When I thought all of the crew had that word I went into the water, too.
Q. Mr. Lenson, since the collision have you had any duties in regard to the survivors of RYAN?
A. Well, I spent the first few days after we got back to the States in the hospital. After that, in conjunction with the other officers, I’ve had to try to reconstruct the men’s pay records. I helped the XO in getting them clothes and gear and so forth, and I helped write the letters to the next of kin. He signed those, but we wrote them.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: Thank you, Ensign.
If I may make a brief summary of this cross-examination: The points I have established are, first, that Mr. Evlin was not properly assisted by Mr. Lenson or anyone else normally required to provide such assistance; second, that he had warned the captain in advance against this maneuver; third, that in the midst of a maneuver that he had executed safely only hours before, he was relieved of his post; and finally, that the last orders before the collision proper, which in fact rendered it inevitable, were given by the captain after he had relieved said officer.
I have no further questions of the witness at this time.
* * *
LIEUTENANT Commander Benjamin Bryce, USN, was recalled as a witness. He was warned that his oath was still binding.
Examined by the counsel for the Court.
Q. Commander, you have listened to the testimony given this morning. I know that you were not present on the bridge, but do you have any comments on it?
A. It seems to me that we have here a case of people doing their best to evade responsibility.
Q. Please elaborate.
A. I’m a little old-fashioned in these matters. I was taught that when you had a watch, you were responsible for what went on during that watch. Now, on duty that night we had Lieutenant Evlin and Ensign Lenson. So, the argument that Mr. Evlin’s lawyer here seems to be using is that once Captain Packer got up there on the bridge, all Evlin’s accountability just vanished away.
Now you have to have known this officer, Evlin I mean, to know that even at the best of times he was not the kind of man to actively seek responsibility. In fact, he was just the opposite.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: I must ask the witness to refrain from personal opinion and stick to facts.
COUNSEL FOR CDR PACKER: Certainly the judgment of his immediate superior as to Lieutenant Evlin’s capacity to stand a watch is of interest.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: But Commander Bryce has stated earlier that he himself did not stand watches, and that therefore—
THE COURT: The examination will continue.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: What do you mean, Commander, when you say Evlin did not actively seek responsibility?
A. He had a lax approach to duty and a tendency to let the men get away with things. We’ve heard Lenson testify to the same attitude in his action when he found a man supposedly sleeping on watch. I had hopes for Lenson when he joined us, but found that he had, through association with Mr. Evlin, who he stood watch with, he soon took on this same coloration.
Q. Do you feel Lieutenant Evlin was lax on the bridge?
A. I can easily believe it. That would account for the casual attitudes of the lookouts, the slow response by the lee helmsman, the way everyone seemed to freeze or panic when collision was imminent. I don’t know about this other maneuver he is supposed to have recommended, but I think what likely happened was Captain Packer arrived on the bridge, found a dangerous situation, and had to take charge cold.
I say this with reluctance, but the Court has to take into account the possibility that things are not exactly as Lenson described them. That is, in his eagerness to clear his friend, and of course himself, he has altered the sequence of events.
Q. Go on.
A. Let’s say, for example, that the course change to zero-nine-zero was ordered before Commander Packer reached the bridge. Then the captain, arriving, realized that the ship was standing into danger. He summarily relieved Lieutenant Evlin, and ordered increasing amounts of left rudder in an attempt to save RYAN. Ultimately, he was unable to rectify the situation and the collision occurred. If events happened this way, you could hardly lay the blame on James Packer.
Q. What evidence have you for such a scenario?
A. That he was trying to straighten things out? Just that I know, knew, Commander Packer, and I knew Evlin, and that sounds a lot more likely than that he made the mistake and Evlin didn’t. Not to put too fine a point on it, let’s call a spade a spade. Evlin was a coward. He had refused orders in a very difficult situation, and at the time of the collision he was on restriction, scheduled to be flown back to the States for court-martial.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: I must object. All this is mere personal vilification.
CDR BRYCE: All this is a matter of record. Message traffic from RYAN dated 21 or 22 December will support me.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Why was such a man permitted to continue standing bridge watch?
A. James Packer was too forgiving. I warned him not to, but he allowed Evlin to stand watches until he left the ship. This was the result.
Q. The testimony of the enlisted men—the quartermaster and the boatswain’s mate—support Mr. Lenson’s version of events.
A. I don’t know about the QM. But Pettus, let me point out that he was in Lenson’s division.
I think it’s time to let a little light into the air here. So far in this investigation, it’s been soft-pedaled that Lenson’s division was the worst in the ship, that we had recently completed a search of its spaces—the night before, in fact—and found a large amount of marijuana, pills, drug paraphernalia, even weapons. By great good luck, I had in my pocket when I left RYAN the master-at-arms’s list of these materials. Lenson wants to blame this collision on a seaman recruit. In fact, this man came up clean in the search. My attempts to break up this ring, and that’s what it was, were resisted by Lenson and others. He even admitted at one point that he knew who the ringleader was, but refused to tell me.
Q. May I have that list?
The list was submitted to the parties and the Court, and marked Exhibit C for identification.
Examination by the counsel for the Court continued.
Q. Yesterday you intimated that you had serious accusations to make. Are these the accusations you were referring to?
A. Yes.
Q. Are you implying also that Lieutenant Evlin was involved in drugs?
A. It’s not impossible. He had a sluggish, doped-up attitude about him that in my view—though I’m no expert by a long shot—it could have been something like that.
Cross-examined by counsel for Commander Packer.
Q. Commander, let us return to your idea that the commanding officer of RYAN, far from making an error, was trying to correct one previously made. You have served in the Navy how long?
A. Twenty-eight years, starting as a seaman recruit.
Q. In that time, you have served under many commanding officers. How would you rank James Packer among them?
A. As one of the very finest.
Q. As a ship handler?
A. Flawless. A very good seaman, cool under pressure.
Q. Did he take chances with the ship?
A. No. But he didn’t pussyfoot around, either. He was a destroyerman.
Q. We have heard testimony that he was ill and exhausted the night of the collision. How would you respond to that?
A. He may have had a sniffle. That’s all.
Cross-examined by counsel for Lieutenant Evlin.
Q. Commander Bryce, it’s evident that you had a low regard for Alan Evlin. Let us go back to your grounds for this attitude. What were they? We are looking for facts, not suspicions or hearsay.
A. Well, it’s hard to—you’re a civilian. It would be easier to explain to a military man.
Q. Please explain to the Court, then.
A. Evlin and I disagreed over many things. Basically, he had a disinclination to exercise discipline, either over himself or his men. Since he was the senior department head, this had a bad effect through the whole ship.
Q. Could you be more specific?
A. He had weird ideas.
Q. What ideas?
A. I don’t know. I couldn’t make any sense out of them.
Q. Were those ideas spiritually based?
A. Spiritual?
Q. Yes.
A. I wouldn’t know. I never hold a man’s religion against him. I’m pretty broad-minded that way. I don’t even know what religion he was, if any.
Q. I see. Let’s examine your theory, or story, about what might have happened. What evidence can you offer for it?
A. I said I had no evidence. It’s just my interpretation, you might say, of what might have happened.
Q. Unfortunately, Lieutenant Evlin is not here to defend himself. Because of that, Commander, I must ask you again what concrete evidence you have for this frivolous theory.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Mr. Barrett, your implication of frivolity is out of place.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: Sir, it is the only word I can find for this kind of speculation by a witness who was not present and who, in fact, as other witnesses have testified, hardly ever appeared on the bridge.
THE COURT: Proceed, but refrain from commenting on the witness’s testimony.
COUNSEL FOR LT EVLIN: No further questions of this witness.
THE COURT: We wish to point out at this time that a court of inquiry is not bound by the strict rules governing objections that prevail in courts-martial. It is our desire to afford the widest possible latitude for examination.
The Court informed Commander Bryce that he was privileged to make any further statement covering anything related to the inquiry that he thought should be a matter of record in connection therewith, which had not been fully brought out in the previous questioning.
The witness stated that he had nothing further to say.
The Court then adjourned until 1400.
* * *
“CAN I help you with that, sir?”
Dan looked up from salad and coffee. He didn’t know the man in line behind him. “No thanks,” he said. “I think I can handle it.”
He glanced cautiously around the cafeteria. It was almost empty; perhaps by design, the court had recessed after the normal lunch hour this time. He saw a corner table and aimed his tray toward it.
“Hey,” said a familiar voice. “It’s the ensign.”
Lassard, Gonzales, and Isaacs were sitting at a table with paper cups in front of them. They looked like new men. Fresh haircuts, regulation shaves, the new uniforms the survivors had been issued in Newport.
“Swell testimony this morning, Ensign.”
He didn’t look at Lassard. “What are you doing with these two, Isaacs?”
The first-class dropped his eyes without answering. Lassard said, “Talking to you, Ensign. Or didn’t you hear him?”
“I have nothing to say to you, Slick.”
“Got plenty to say about him, sounds like.”
“Only the truth.”
“Only shit, man. Get over here.”
Dan went on, ignoring them. For a moment it looked as if Lassard would get up. Then he glanced around and settled back. He took a pull at his drink and bent his head toward the others, all three men looking after Lenson.
At the corner table, Dan tapped a tablet from the green-edged pharmacy envelope and gulped it. He’d skipped one to be clearheaded for his testimony and his shoulder seared as if the burning oil still clung to it. He thought about taking two. Then he forced himself to put the envelope away.
He stared at the salad. He wasn’t hungry. The long session with Johnstone and Hauck and Barrett had wrung him out like wet laundry. His hands had trembled at the board; everyone had heard the clatter of chalk. And then Bryce … that bastard! Now he and Evlin were both on record as incompetent, worse, of being tied in with drugs and permissiveness. While the ones who were really responsible—
He looked up to find Lassard leaning on his table.
“Got a message for you, Lenberg. From the Man. Anything else, have a ball, but lay off me, lay off him, lay off the boat. Hear?”
“What’s he got on you, Slick? I still don’t get what put you two together.”
“Negatory, man, no way. Nobody ‘got anything’ on Slick Lassard. He just got on the winning team. His ass is covered. Yours ain’t. You’re out in the wide blue open, my man. You’re in the nutcracker, and we’re gonna crack your nuts.”
“Tell Bryce to fuck himself, Slick. That goes for you, too.”
“Okay, man. The kinnicks just wanted to cut some slack for a shipmate. Give you one last chance to get in the boat. But you just stepped in it, man. The Man and me, we’re gonna waste you.”
Lenson sat there for some time, picking at the food. In the middle of the Pentagon, he was alone.
* * *
THE Court reconvened at 1400. Present: All members, counsel for the Court, the parties, and counsels.
Lieutenant Edson D. Talliaferro, USN, was called as a witness by the counsel for the Court. He was duly sworn and examined as follows.
Q. Mr. Talliaferro, you were attached to RYAN as engineering officer. Is that correct?
A. Yes.
Q. How long had you been so assigned?
A. About a year and a half.
Q. I will pose to you the same question I posed to Mr. Lenson this morning. What was the material condition of RYAN when she joined TG 21.1?
A. As he said, we’d sustained damage during storms and action in the Arctic, but by the 24th most of these were repaired. All evaporators, generators, and pumps were operational. Flooded spaces had been dewatered and accesses to the sea patched.
Q. In your opinion, did any mechanical failure or material deficiency contribute in any way to the collision and subsequent loss of life?
A. No sir.
Q. What is your opinion of the state of training and morale aboard RYAN?
A. In my department, engineering, they were good. As to the rest of the ship, I can’t say.
Q. On the evening of 24 December and morning of 25 December of last year, where were you stationed?
A. I was holding down Main Control.
Q. In the engine room?
A. Yes, in Main Control there.
Q. State the sequence of commands you received after 0200, please.
A. From memory, we had twenty knots rung up; then a flank bell for twenty-seven. A few minutes later, we got an increase to twenty-eight and then an emergency ahead flank.
Q. You were on the throttle at that time?
A. No. I was supervising the throttleman and other members of the watch.
Q. But you were in a position to observe the throttle and so on?
A. That’s right.
Q. Did you answer the engine orders you received?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. All of them? Promptly?
A. Yes, immediately.
Cross-examined by counsel for Commander Packer.
Q. What were the conditions of your engines at that time?
A. We had three boilers on the line, the superheater fires were lighted and the plant was split.
Q. You stated that all orders were answered immediately. Will you clarify for me what that means?
A. We indicated on the engine-order telegraph that we had received the order.
Q. But did this mean that it had been carried out? Correct me if I am wrong, but changing speed on a destroyer is not as simple as, say, pressing a gas pedal on a car, is it?
A. No. On receipt of an engine order, the watch has to evaluate power available, decide routing, then set the valves. On major changes like a backing bell, it gets complicated. The engines have to be stopped, steam has to be shifted to the reverse turbines, and so on. The speed changes we are discussing here, all we have to do is use more burners on the boilers. But it does take time to accelerate.
Q. So answering and responding are two different things. And there is a delay in response, even in normal operation, is there not?
A. Yes.
Q. How long is this delay?
A. It can take as long as three minutes or just a few seconds to set up the plant. But then the ship has to gather momentum. From twenty to twenty-seven knots ahead, say, it can easily take ten minutes before she is actually at that speed.
Q. That is when everything is working perfectly.
A. Yes.
Q. But we have heard testimony to the effect that everything on RYAN was not working perfectly.
A. She was an old ship. The overhaul was cut short. There were lines I had to hold together with radiator clamps and wire. And we had problems left over from the Arctic.
Q. Please elaborate.
A. I think what you are getting at is the remark Lieutenant (jg) Silver, or maybe it was the boatswain’s mate, made about a problem with engine response. The reason for that was that we had water in the fuel.
Q. How did water come to be in the fuel?
A. When we were in a severe storm, some days previous, Commander Packer ordered me to ballast.
Q. Which means?
A. Pumping seawater into the empty spaces of the fuel tanks to give us more stability.
Q. Did you think this was a reasonable order?
A. Yes, given the ice we had accumulated. I thought at the time he had even delayed doing it too long.
Q. But he had not?
A. That’s hard to say, sir. According to the stability diagrams, ballasting was the right thing to do. But it’s risky, because later on when you refuel, you may have contaminated tanks, which is exactly what we got.
Q. What was the effect of this water?
A. It’s almost impossible to get all the seawater out of the tanks after you ballast. It settles to the bottom, but when the ship rolls, it mixes a little. Not much, but once in a while we were getting a slug of water in the fuel lines. This makes the boiler fires sputter, and, as a worst case, can put them out.
Q. And you had this problem that night.
A. Once in a while, yes.
Q. Yet you said that you answered all bells immediately.
A. What I meant was that the ship might not respond.
Q. When you got the captain’s emergency flank order, did the ship respond promptly?
A. That’s hard to say.
Q. Why?
A. I was not in Main Control at the moment we got that order.
Q. Where were you?
A. I had gone forward to use the head.
Q. But weren’t you on watch?
A. I didn’t say I was on watch. I was exempted from bridge watches to spend most of my time below, but there was no requirement that I be in a specific space at a specific time. I went where problems required my attention. Those members of the Court who have served in engineering billets will understand this arrangement. My chief was a qualified engineering officer of the watch. He was on watch, and he was there.
Q. So you were in the head when the collision occurred?
A. Yes, sir. It knocked me off the throne onto the deck.
Q. Were you in Main Control before that, when the order for twenty-seven knots came down?
A. Yes.
Q. Was that responded to?
A. The response seemed sluggish. I went forward, intending to go back to the boilers and check them out as soon as I was done. But there were good men on the controls and the throttle. I’m sure they did all they could to increase speed. Down in the hole, you don’t have much idea what’s going on topside, but when you get an emergency bell you jam every ounce of steam you got into the lines.
Cross-examined by counsel for Lieutenant Evlin.
Q. Mr. Talliaferro, do you think RYAN was ever traveling at twenty-seven knots through the water before the collision?
A. I think we may have done that, yes.
Q. But never at flank emergency, which was what—
A. About twenty-nine knots would be all we would get out of three boilers, even all out. Calm water, downhill, maybe twenty-nine point five.
Q. So the difference was about two knots. How far would a ship go in two minutes in that two-knot difference?
A. What do you mean?
Q. Perhaps I am expressing it clumsily. How far ahead of its position at collision would it have been if it had been traveling at twenty-nine knots instead of twenty-seven?
A. I don’t know. Too many variables in that.
Q. In fact, in two minutes, would it not have been almost 150 yards farther on, and cleared the carrier by almost 100 feet?
A. You seem to know more about it than you let on, Mr. Barrett.
Q. I served in destroyers during the war. The point is, had not whoever was in charge on the bridge given an order that would have carried the ship clear if the engines had responded as they should?
A. I wasn’t up there and can’t tell you that.
Recross-examined by counsel for Commander Packer.
Q. Let us return to the order to ballast. You assert that this was justified by weather and stability conditions?
A. It was the right decision.
Q. What would have happened had you not ballasted?
A. We would have capsized.
There were no further questions for this witness, and he resumed his seat.
* * *
RICHARD N. Norden, Lieutenant, USN, was recalled as a witness. He was reminded that his oath was still binding and was examined as follows.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Mr. Norden, go over again for us where you were at the time of the collision.
A. I was in my stateroom, in bed. I explained earlier that Mr. Evlin and I had exchanged watches, so I expected to be called around 0330 to take the morning watch.
Q. But in fact, you were awakened by the collision.
A. That’s right.
Q. Then what happened?
A. I don’t remember much about it. Everything was confused. I remember talking at one point to Mr. Lenson. He told me KENNEDY had run us down, and said “abandon ship” had been passed.
Q. Continue.
A. I then abandoned ship.
Q. That’s all?
A. Apparently I went aft, got into the whaleboat, and abandoned ship.
Q. Did you not have any duties, in the event of a collision?
A. Not after the order to abandon ship had been given. My recollection of this is not the best, because I sustained a head injury at some point during the events of that night.
Q. But you remember talking to Lenson?
A. Yes.
Q. Let us return to the allegations Lieutenant Commander Bryce has made about conditions in Mr. Lenson’s division, in fact throughout RYAN to some extent, if I understand him correctly. Were you aware of these conditions?
A. I had taken part in the search the evening before. I knew what had been found, yes.
Q. Did you know there were problems before that time?
A. No.
Q. Are you acquainted with Seaman Recruit William T. Lassard?
A. He was in my department. I did not know him well.
Q. What is your evaluation of his performance?
A. As far as I know, he is a typically effective seaman.
Q. You have heard the questions raised as to the movements of the ship’s motor whaleboat after RYAN went down. What can you tell us about such movements?
A. I don’t remember anything that happened between talking to Mr. Lenson and coming back to consciousness aboard USS TALBOT. Shortly thereafter, we were transferred by helicopter to KENNEDY.
Cross-examined by counsel for Lieutenant Evlin.
Q. Mr. Norden, as a watch stander and a department head, how well did you know Lieutenant Evlin?
A. Pretty well.
Q. What is your evaluation of him? As an officer and a watch stander?
A. I agree with Commander Bryce’s description of him.
Q. Please elaborate.
A. He was not dependable.
Q. Do you believe he was ever under the influence of drugs?
A. [Witness paused.] It’s not impossible.
Neither the counsel for the Court, the Court, nor the parties desired further to examine this witness. He resumed his seat.
* * *
WILLIAM Theodore Lassard, seaman recruit, USN, was called as a witness. He was duly sworn and was examined as follows.
Examined by the counsel for the Court.
Q. State your name, rank, and branch of service.
A. William Lassard, seaman recruit, U.S. Navy.
Q. How long have you been on active duty?
A. A little over six years, sir.
Q. How long have you been attached to RYAN?
A. Four years.
Q. State your duty station at 0200 on 25 December.
A. On the bridge.
Q. Port lookout?
A. We swapped around. Believe he was the lookout then.
Q. Who was the lookout?
A. I was.
Q. Please state to the best of your recollection the location of the ships around RYAN at that time.
A. The lookouts don’t know the position of the ships. That’s the officers’ job.
Q. Is it not your duty as lookout to keep abreast of the situation?
A. Lookouts just report what they see. It’s up to the officers to figure out what it is.
Q. Please state what you saw, then.
A. It was dark. There weren’t any ships on my side. There was one almost dead ahead, way off; you could only pick it up once in a while. There was some others off on the other lookouts’ sides. To starboard.
Q. The one ahead would be the CALLOOSAHATCHEE, and the ones to starboard KENNEDY and GARCIA?
A. Told you, we didn’t know what they were. Just lights.
Q. You have heard Ensign Lenson’s testimony that he found you asleep on the wing shortly before the collision. Is that true?
A. I wasn’t asleep or anything like that. I was standing a proper watch.
Q. Did he make any remarks to you?
A. Yes.
Q. What did he say?
A. Mr. Lenson made remarks every time he saw me. Didn’t matter what he—what I was doing at the time, he would jump me. I tried to shrug it off and just do my job.
Q. What in fact did he say this time?
A. Said something about putting me on report.
Q. Why?
A. Like I said, he had this idea that I was [expletive deleted] off. I wasn’t. He was just always on my [expletive deleted].
Q. To what do you attribute his attitude?
A. Don’t know. Slick—I mean, I never did anything to him.
Q. He has testified that you used drugs and were furnishing them to other members of the crew.
A. That’s not true, sir.
Q. Is it true that you were previously rated to third-class boatswain’s mate on RYAN, and broken for unauthorized absence and fighting?
A. Yeah, but I was never busted for drugs. You can check my record. Or you can ask the XO.
Q. Let us go on to when the captain came out onto the bridge, apparently just a few minutes after Mr. Lenson talked with you. Please recount what happened then.
A. The captain came out and leaned over the alidade. Then he went back in.
Q. Did he say anything to you?
A. No, nothing.
Q. Did he notice that you were there? Nod, or acknowledge you at all?
A. No, sir, I don’t think he was thinking about me; I don’t think he even noticed me.
Q. He did not ask you, for instance, where the carrier was?
A. No sir.
Q. Where was the carrier at that time?
A. We were coming around, I think, and you could see it around the corner of the deckhouse.
Q. Think back carefully. When the captain looked through the alidade, was he looking in fact at the carrier? Or somewhere off to the left?
A. His back was to me. I couldn’t see the alidade.
Q. Could you tell by the position of his head what he was looking at?
A. No. I was scanning with my binoculars, like I was supposed to.
The Court then informed the witness that he was privileged to make statements covering anything he thought related to the subject of the inquiry that had not been brought out in previous questioning.
The witness stated that he had and the Court instructed him to proceed.
WITNESS: I wanted to talk about after the collision—what happened after that.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Go ahead.
WITNESS: After it hit us, the officers was freaking out, running around the bridge and shouting. I stayed put on the wing. When things quieted down, I went into the pilothouse. There was nobody there, so after a while I went out on the starboard wing. The captain was there alone.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Go on.
WITNESS: Well, he looked at me, sort of not seeing me, and I stood there beside him for a while. He kept looking aft at the fire. Finally, to make conversation like, I said, “Ay, what happened, Captain?” And he said, after a minute, “Somebody [expletive deleted] up, Slick.”
So I stood there with him for a couple of minutes and we watched the fire, and the men jumping overboard.
Then I was thinking I better get back to my boat and get her in the water. I asked the captain, “Sir, we better get off this bucket.” And he shook his head and he said, “You go ahead and abandon.”
She was listing bad then, so Slick, he decided to go. So he was going down the ladder when the old man leans over and calls him back. He goes up a couple steps, and he hands him something and says give it to his son. So Slick sticks it in his pocket and here it is.
COUNSEL FOR THE COURT: Let the record show the court has received a gold ring for transfer to Commander Packer’s son.
WITNESS: That’s all I got.
Neither the counsel for the Court, the Court, nor the parties desired further to examine this witness. He resumed his seat.
The Court then, at 1653, took a recess until the next day at 0900.
* * *
LENSON followed the afternoon of testimony with close attention. He felt supercharged, unaffected by the codeine. When the court broke for the day, he hoisted himself to his feet and followed the others out to the E-ring and down the ramp into the mall. It would be nice to get Susan something. Perfume? Candy? He glanced in the window of Dart Drug and saw Norden standing in front of the greeting cards.
“Rich. Hey, Rich!”
Norden flinched, raising startled eyes. He looked pale, thin, like smoke from a hot fire. Rusty freckles stood out on white skin.
“We’re not supposed to talk.”
“To hell with that. What is this bullshit you’re giving them about Al? He never used drugs. He didn’t even smoke! You’re the one told me about Lassard, what a fuckup he was. Where are you going? What happened in that boat, Rich?”
But Norden was walking away, then jogging, too fast for Dan to follow. The clerk called after him. He wheeled, threw the card back at her. It fluttered to the floor. Then he was gone, sucked into the crowd of Army and Marine green, Air Force and Navy blue, and civilian employees pushing toward the Metro entrance.
Dan stared after him like a man overboard watching his ship disappear over the horizon of the sea.
* * *
THE little toy MG was waiting, idling in a handicapped space. Susan had on a violet tam today. It looked familiar. Then he recognized it. She used to wear it when he visited her at Georgetown. “How’d it go?” she asked as he eased himself in, hissing as his shoulder brushed the corner of the door.
“Not so good.”
“You had the stand again?”
“All morning. Then they had Bryce on, Norden, some of the other guys. What’d you do?”
“Went to a lecture at American U, then got tired and came back. I read a little. Then I just thought.”
“This is for you. You like pecans, right?”
“Thanks.… What’s happening down there, Dan? You look mad as hell. Or scared as hell.”
“They were on me hard today.”
“Who?”
“The lawyers. Bryce. It’s not going real well.”
“Tell me what happened. I want to know. I ought to know.”
“I told you, I can’t discuss it, Susan.”
“You could tell me something.”
He turned his face to the window and watched the Potomac speed by, gray and sullen under its white mantle. “Okay, Mr. Spock,” she muttered, flooring the gas. “Warp speed to the hotel.”
He had two drinks while they were waiting to order. He was too angry to care about mixing them with the pills. After dinner they took the elevator to the sixth floor. She fumbled in her purse for the key. He knew she was angry, too, but he pretended not to notice. He didn’t want a scene. He hated scenes. They reminded him of his parents’ all-night-long screaming arguments.
As soon as the door closed, she began speaking to the wall. “You know, it’s not exactly fun for me, being alone all day, worrying about you. I’d like to know what’s going on. It affects my life, too.”
“Maybe later.” He fell on the bed. The scotch made his head vibrate. “Can you get me a drink of water, please?”
He held the glass and watched as she undressed, facing the mirror. Her hair came free and swung down, tangling in the catch of her bra. Her back was crossed by a white line, though summer was long gone. She undressed quickly, without looking at him, and went into the bathroom. A moment later the shower roared.
He pulled himself up and peeled off his blouse. His shoulder burned, but the drug held it separate from him. He took off his shirt and trousers and underwear. They were soaked.
In the bathroom her body glowed behind translucent plastic. The water roared like flames. He shouted, “Want company, Babe?”
“Come in if you need help.”
When he stepped in she was soaped up, hair lathered, her body slick with foam like waves in a gale. She helped him wash briskly and efficiently, keeping the dressings dry, not touching him unnecessarily. When they were done, she stepped out and helped him towel. Her face in the mirror was blank as she dried his back. It was like being bathed by a nurse.
He sat on the bed and watched her sort through her clothes. There was a faint, high whistling in his head. He watched the sway of her breasts, large-nippled, heavier than they’d been when he last saw her; funny how they changed color month to month, like a slide show. The outward curve of her belly; her legs, strong and tapered, still brown. Then he considered himself. He was thinner, white, bruised the color of cheap wine. His arm dragged like a dug-in anchor. Part of him wanted to sleep, to check out of this fucking planet for a few hours. Another wanted not so much to make love as to possess, to reassert his ownership over her. It seemed like centuries since he’d seen her naked.
“Feeling better tonight?” he muttered hopefully.
She came out of the closet, holding her old-fashioned blue flannel nightdress. “What?”
“Want to make love?”
“I thought we went over this last night.”
“This is tonight.”
“Well, I’m still tired,” she said, spreading out her nightdress and bending over the bed. “Exhausted, in fact.” Her breasts swayed forward, half-covered by her damp hair. Her scent flowed out from her, lavender and lemon and some musky spice he didn’t have words for. He caught the dismissal but refused to accept it; in fact, it determined him. He took her shoulder with his good arm and pulled her down gently.
She lay quietly on her side as he kissed her nipple, feeling it erect under his tongue. A little fluid seeped out, thin and insipid.
She didn’t resist when he slipped his hand between her thighs. Nor did she cooperate. Apprehension touched him. At another time he would have felt himself, made sure he was ready, but supporting his weight on one arm this was impossible. Her pubic hair grated dryly against him.
He came halfway to attention, and wedged it in quickly, before it could reconsider. There seemed to be no sensation in him, as if he were covered with a huge condom. He ground away for several minutes, lying half above her, half beside.
Gradually, in the motion, he lost track of himself.
He thought suddenly of the dead. They’d never touch a woman again. Never return to the ones they’d loved. Guilt and terror gripped him like a cat gripping a mole. Guilt, at living. Terror, at the unimaginable endlessness of absence, of ending, of termination.
He remembered how they’d screamed, out beyond the firelight, how neither he nor anyone else could help them.…
The memory opened out then, suddenly, and he was no longer remembering but there in the water, gripped by the icy pincers, watching floating flame close in on him. Trying to swim in the blackness without air. The sea choked him, battered him, numbed him, then caught fire. His hands when he raised them were black with oil. A man screamed beyond the wall of flame, and his throat closed. The screaming man was himself; he was still screaming, and he would never stop.
When, sweating and rigid, he forced his eyes open, hers were closed. “Do you have to put all your weight on me?” she said.
He shuddered, unable to speak through a throat soldered shut with horror. His erection had died inside her. Her vagina expelled him. He rolled away, desperate for air.
“Dan, what is it? Are you all right?”
“Nothing,” he gasped.
He heard her getting up. The soft, heavy pad of her feet. Her nightdress whispered.
He lay rigid, listening. He knew now what he’d wanted. Not sex, but reassurance he was still alive. The bed creaked and he glanced over. She lay motionless, staring away from him at the clock on the nightstand.
“What’s eating you? Are you mad at me?”
“I’m just tired of this.” She stared at the clock. “I’m tired of not knowing, tired of Navy secrets, just tired. And yes, I’m mad at you. I’m very angry.”
“What for? Do you think the collision was my fault?”
“Fuck the collision, Dan! I’m glad you got out. I said that! But it was—when you went away like that, just a phone call and you were gone, I was all alone in Newport. I didn’t know anybody, not one person I could call for help. I know it’s not your fault. But God knows the Navy doesn’t care, so I’m mad at you. It may not be logical, but damn it, that’s how I feel.”
He did not see at all. “Yes,” he said.
“And another thing, I’ve been thinking about it now, I don’t like being fucked when I’m not ready. I don’t like it at all.”
“I didn’t hear any major objections.”
“I thought I might want to once you started. Anyway, I said I wasn’t interested. What am I supposed to do, scream?” Her voice rose. “Don’t ever do that again. I’m your wife, not a goddamned piece of meat with a convenient hole in it!”
“I see,” he said. The need for sympathy slid away and something cold as the sea took its place. “I don’t think that’s a very constructive attitude. My friends died, I almost died, and I wanted you. You’ve treated me like a crippled stranger since I got back. You don’t know what we went through.”
She stared at the clock silently.
“Being left alone like that, like you say—You knew what being a Navy wife meant. We discussed it before we got married. You said, as I recall, that you wouldn’t mind being by yourself from time to time. That it would give you time to work on your degree.”
“It’s different doing it. Maybe it’s different after years of it. I haven’t … we haven’t spent a week in the same house. I’m eight months pregnant, but I don’t feel married yet. I feel closer to Moira than I do to you.”
Moira, he remembered with an effort, was her ex-roommate. “That’s a great thing to say.”
“It’s true. You bottle everything up, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear your brains fizzing. That rigid Academy bullshit … I don’t know if I can go on with you if you’re so … so cold. With the baby coming … Jesus, I feel so alone.”
“You know,” he said slowly, “when I was in the water, when I thought I was going to die, I was praying. But I wasn’t praying to God. Maybe it sounds blasphemous, but I was praying to you, that you would help me. And when that guy held me up, and I thought I might live another few minutes, I thought you had answered me.”
She put her hand over her eyes. “Jesus,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry, Susan. I do love you, so much.”
The wrenching sound of her breathing told him she was crying. He groped to his blouse and handed her his handkerchief.
In the dim light from the window, from the city, she got up from the bed. She stumbled away. Then she turned, awkward and huge and swollen, and came back to him. He held her tightly, ignoring the scream from his burned shoulder. They clung to each other angrily, despairingly, hopelessly, like castaways in a stormswept sea, not knowing whether there is rescue ahead or only the last and final darkness.