HOLD ON A second, my furless friend! Something exciting is happening, I can tell. I stayed awake far too late last night, thinking about Saint Lick and all the amazing dog toys he’s going to bring me, so I slept in a little late. But the moment I opened one eye and took my first sniff of the morning, I could sense that festive things were afoot … or apaw … Ha ha!
This is AMAZING! I’ve just walked out of our Sleep Room to find Jawjaw and Mom-Lady pulling out a load of boxes from the hallway closet, and they’re each filled with … with … decorations!!!
I can barely stop myself from peeing right here on the carpet, my person-pal. Jawjaw and Ruff have been put in charge of untangling the long strings of twinkle-lights and Mom-Lady has just driven off in the moving people-box, saying she has a surprise for us …
I’m being the most perfect pooch I know how to be and I’m waiting for Mom-Lady by the front door. That’s what all GOOD BOYS do …
Ruff and Jawjaw are still grumbling down the hall, figuring out the lighty stringy things, but all I can think about is what Mom-Lady has gone to fetch. Maybe it’s another BIG BALDY BIRD?
I’ll wait right here and find out …
Still waiting …
STILL WAITING!!!
Still wai—WAIT A SECOND! Did I just hear the moving people-box pull up outside?
Hold breath …
Hold breath …
Hold breath …
I did!!! OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY!! I can hear Mom-Lady’s footsteps and the sound of something swooshy being dragged along the path to the front door. Any moment now she’s going to walk inside, see me being the goodest GOOD BOY she’s ever seen and give me the giftiest, surprisiest present I’ve ever—
I … I … don’t know what just happened, my furless friend. I was so terrified, I thought my hound-heart was going to play a tune on the inside of my ribs.
I’m safe here, under Ruff’s bed, but out there in the hallway … I … I … I just saw a monster that made the horrifying vacuum cleaner seem nicer than a tummy-rub.
I’ll explain …
There I was, waiting for Mom-Lady to bring home the surprise she’d promised, when … her keys jangled as she took them from her pocket … the key turned in the lock … and … and … A GREEN SPIKY MONSTER BURST THROUGH THE DOOR AND LURCHED TOWARD ME!
If I hadn’t used my super-speedy dog powers and run away quicker than you can shout “RUN! IT’S A FESTIVE FIEND!” I swear, I would have been lunch.
I can hear Mom-Lady and Ruff laughing in the hallway. Why aren’t they screaming and darting for cover?
Hmmmm … something’s not quite right here. They’ve started playing Crisp-Mouth music from the musicy soundy box. As head pooch of the kennel, I think I need to go investigate. I’ll keep you posted …
IT WAS A TREE!?! Can you imagine it, my person-pal? I sneaked down the hallway, peeked around the Picture Box Room door, and there it was. Mom-Lady had stood it up over near the corner and Jawjaw and Ruff were starting to wrap the strings of twinkle-lights around it.
Just when I think I’ve got you humans all figured out, you go and do the strangest of things! Whoever heard of having a tree inside your kennel? They’re supposed to be outside in the backyard so you can pee on them and bark at RACCOONS in the branches.
Okay, I admit it—this is kinda fun. The Crisp-Mouth tree is now covered in little lights and I’m helping Ruff with the decorations. Every time he hangs one of the glittery balls on a low branch, I take it off again and bury it down the side of the comfy squishy thing.
Humans love it when dogs help out … I can tell … and the tree is looking paw-some! I still have no idea what it’s doing inside the kennel, but it’s certainly getting me in the mood for festive Crisp-Mouth cheer. HA HA!
I don’t think I’ve ever been more content, my furless friend. Tonight, Mom-Lady baked cookies for Ruff and Jawjaw, and had bought an extra-big bag of Crunchy-Lumps for me, then we all sat watching a film about a grumpy old man with a funny voice who didn’t like Crisp-Mouth. In it, he was visited by three gusts. I don’t really know what a gust is … or what was happening … but it was super WAGGY-TAIL-ICIOUS to curl up with my Catch-A-Doggy-Bone pack in a proper cuddle-puddle.
It might be my first-ever Howliday Season, but it’s shaping up to be a great one. Sigh …