TODAY, MOM-LADY, RUFF, and Jawjaw have all gone off to the shopping mall to do some shopping for gifts, so I’m over at Genghis’s kennel with Lola and Betty. It’s so weird, my person-pal. I had no idea that one home could be so different from another.
Genghis’s kennel is nothing like our Catch-A-Doggy-Bone one. It’s huge and everything smells like lemon washing-up liquid. His pet human is super funny as well.
Wherever we go in the house, Genghis’s pet follows us with a broom and handfuls of dusters and cleaning spray, like the stuff Mom-Lady keeps under the sink. It’s like he actually enjoys cleaning!
Whoever heard of anybody who likes tidying up? MAKING A MESS IS THE FUN PART!!
Oh no, my person-pal! Just when I thought there weren’t going to be any more scares before Crisp-Mouth Day, I’ve just overheard something that has made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Something so terrible, I think I might need to have a lie down.
I can tell you what I’ve just discovered, but you’ve got to promise me you’re feeling in a brave mood!
Do not turn to the next page if you’re squeamish, nervous, or inclined to pee your human pants with fear!
Well done, my furless friend. You’re clearly very brave.
Okay, so I’m going to tell you what I just heard. Brace yourself!
Genghis’s owner finally got tired of tidying up after us dogs and took us all out to the backyard. We were all there, doing our business, if you know what I mean. The pet human got a poop bag ready in his hands and then he said …
At first I didn’t think anything of it, until I realized the crazy guy was talking about poops … POOPS!! That’s what the word “presents” means!!!
My head started racing and my memory flashed back to the night I watched The Night Before Crisp-Mouth on the picture box with Ruff.
HOW COULD I BE SO WRONG!?!? I’ve been waiting impatiently for Crisp-Mouth Eve to arrive and for Saint Lick to … to … POOP ALL OVER THE CATCH-A-DOGGY-BONE KENNEL!!!
It’s no use, my person-pal. I got home hours ago and I’ve been trying to warn my family about the dreadful thing I found out, but they just don’t understand Doglish.
It’s useless! If I don’t do something quick, my poor pet humans are going to wake up on Crisp-Mouth Day morning and find the whole kennel is piled high with stinky … PRESENTS!!
They’ll never think I’m a GOOD BOY again if that happens. I’m going to have to take matters into my own paws. I’ve got just under a week until the big day and the POOPER FROM THE NORTH POLE arrives to do his worst.
THINK, JUNIOR, THINK!!