In that moment, as I stood at the end of the long drive, the last twenty years dripped away with the rain. Bethany was here. Or, at least, it felt as if she were. I closed my eyes and, for a second, I could almost sense her hand clasping mine, the electricity I felt just being near her. Even now, the memory of her was enough to create arousal in the pit of my stomach, a gentle but passionate longing for the woman by my side. Here I was, twenty years later, and I yearned for her touch, for the way she had brought me alive.
My eyes snapped open. She was not stood beside me and I gave a small shake to my head in an attempt to rid myself of her ghostly presence. I was here to face the past; I couldn’t allow myself to be dragged back down into the quagmire of memories and secrets. I needed to focus.
Taking a deep breath, I started the walk toward the house. It was hidden from view, behind a small wood. The rain came at me in horizontal sheets but I was beyond caring, already soaked to the bone and numb with cold. Rivulets of water flowed down the dirt track and the pine needles glistened with water. Halfway up the drive, I stopped, drank in the memories before stepping forward again and, minutes later, the house was in front of me.
With every stride, the uncertainty of what lay ahead grew more intense, more suffocating. A small part of me wanted to run back onto the road, find the nearest house and get help. But there was no one around for miles and, even if I was lucky enough to find someone, it could be too late. Amy needed me now.
Walking quickly, my trainers squelched and stuck in the mud. I caught the first glimpse of the side of the house and swallowed; a small trickle of saliva worked its way down my throat.
I rounded the bend and the house sat in full view. Memories came crashing back. Years of sadness reflected in the derelict building. The windows were, as I thought, boarded up. However, the wooden planks had been removed from two of the windows.
Light flooded the front room, bulbs hung from the ceiling where the chandeliers had once been. A fire roared in the hearth as it had done twenty years ago. One floor up, another room was illuminated and I realised, fear creeping into my heart, that Amy must be upstairs. The bulb in the upstairs room flickered on and off and I thought back to that night. Bethany had died in that room.
Shakily, I walked up the front steps and stood just as I had done twenty years ago. I glanced to my right as if Bethany might appear. I didn’t know who or what was on the other side. Swallowing hard, I pushed the door and, as expected, it opened.
She was waiting for me.
I walked into the hall, relying entirely on the light from the front room to make my way. The door slammed shut behind me and I jumped. My heart was beating wildly and, with pricked ears, I waited. The wind shrieked as it whipped through the cracks and crevices of the old house, the logs on the fire crackled in the hearth but, otherwise, the house was silent.
The house smelt fusty and dust hung in the air making it difficult to breathe. I crept slowly toward the staircase. Out the corner of my eye, I caught something glinting in the darkness but pressed ahead, placing one foot tentatively on the bottom step.
A floorboard creaked and, as I turned, an arm grabbed me around the neck.
‘Please,’ I breathed heavily, the attacker’s arm heavy on my throat, ‘I can’t breathe.’
She spoke, a voice muffled by cloth. ‘You’re late.’
I could tell she was slight but fit. I struggled to turn around, get a better look but with each throw of my body, her steady grip only tightened and I gasped for air.
‘Please. I just want to see my daughter. Take me to my daughter.’
‘How do you know your daughter’s alive?’
I struggled to make sense of her words. ‘What do you mean? She has to be alive.’ I started to kick out frantically but she fought hard. ‘Please,’ I sobbed, ‘tell me she’s alive.’
‘I can’t do that.’
I swung my arm forward and elbowed her hard in the ribs. She recoiled and momentarily loosened her hold. Enough time for me to stamp on her foot, sending her staggering backward. I turned and peered at the figure as she emerged slowly from the shadows. Sheer terror seized me as I realised she was holding a gun. She smiled and moved into the light.
I gasped. ‘You?’