I was inspired to do this list as I was making my patented “Better Than Sex” Cocoa Brown Sugar Caramel Brownies with Hazelnut-Mint Glaze. I had once heard the expression “better than sex” used to describe a sinfully tasty treat, and decided to “adopt” it for my own use. But then I thought, hey, wait—isn’t eating in general better than sex? Well, of course it is. Then that led me to think about the dozens and dozens of other things that are better than sex—so many that I got distracted and poured half a cup of baking soda into the brownie batter! Yuck!
But come on, admit it—TONS of things are better than making whoopee. Answer me this: If sex is so great, why is it so many people have other things on their minds when they’re doing it, like what they’re going to have for breakfast in the morning, or wondering what that schmutz is on their pillowcase? Don’t tell me that never happens! Anyway, here’s my list of the 20 greatest things that are better than sex. (I originally came up with 161, no big chore, but the hard part was paring them down to the very best just for you!)
Twenty Things that Are Better than Sex
A rainbow after a rainstorm.
The feeling you get after finishing a project you’ve put off for a long time.
Finding $10 in a coat pocket.
Leftover cookie batter or frosting!
The first day of the year when your glasses don’t fog up as you come in from outside.
A sudden cool breeze on a stiflingly hot afternoon.
The feel of a stuffed animal against your cheek.
An empty parking spot mere feet from the mall’s main entrance!
Discovering a long-lost earring.
The warm, fragrant scent of clean socks just out of the dryer.
3-for-1 Fajitas Nite at Cactus Bill’s!
Suddenly seeing a hot-air balloon in the sky.
A snow day!
Ice cream soup.
An all-day Knots Landing marathon on SOAPnet.
Putting a hat on your cat!
Candlelight.
A cozy afternoon nap.
Scratching an itch (NOT in a dirty place!).
Polarfleece.