My anxiety was no match for the softest bed I'd slept on in weeks. I awoke to the sound of a servant placing a tray of breakfast food and a large carafe of coffee on the table in the corner. I was a little hesitant about to what the Niemenians considered good breakfast food—hopefully no more of that smelly fish Brigit ate—instead I found delicate pastries and a bowl of boiled, cold eggs. I ate my fill as the fire crackled in the hearth and enjoyed nearly the entire carafe before Luard came knocking.
"Good morning," he said, standing shirtless in front of the open window. "Appears you came on a good day."
He gestured to the window, and I could scarcely believe my eyes. The city had been blanketed by a sheet of white snow, giving it an ethereal, peaceful glow.
"I've never seen snow before," I breathed, pressing my hand to the cold glass.
"It'll last for a bit then all the horses and piss and shit will ruin it," he said. "But perhaps I'll take you out to the gardens to frolic after we meet with Ariadna." He looked at me. "If that's still what you want to do."
"Yes," I said with a firm nod that I still didn't feel. "You're right. What's the point of coming all this way if I don't finish what I started?"
"Excellent, because I've been up all morning thinking of the best way to use these forces you've spoken about. So get dressed and we'll chat."
Luard's tailor had sewn me a dress of light blue velvet and lace that was a little snug in the chest, but it would do for meeting the queen. It was paired with thick stockings and tall leather boots that I needed help lacing up. After I was dressed, two more ladies came in to do my hair and makeup.
"I'm afraid I don't have any foundation in your shade," she said, holding up a tray of lotions. "I'm sorry."
"It'll be fine," Luard said. "Just throw some red on her lips and we'll be on our way." He dipped his finger into one of the lotions and dabbed his nose, rubbing it in to hide some perceived blemish. "Oh, and one more thing."
He called out the open door to the receiving room, and one of his guards—Ivan was his name—came in with a black velvet box. Luard opened it, revealing a simple gold circlet, not unlike the one I'd worn back in Forcadel.
"You need this," he said, resting it gently on my head. "There, now you look like yourself."
As the women pinned it in place, I took in my appearance. I was a bit thinner than the last time I'd worn a crown, and the purple bags under my eyes were still present despite my long sleep. But Luard was right—the crown did make a difference. If only in how I carried myself.
"Well? Ariadna awaits," he said, holding out his arm.
Where the Forcadel castle was spread out across four levels, the Linden castle was a maze with spiral staircases and what seemed like a thousand levels as we made our way toward Ariadna. I kept my sweaty palms pressed against the velvet.
"You're going to be fine," Luard said, looking over his shoulder. "I have prepped Ariadna, so she's already receptive. Just don't say anything stupid."
Saying something stupid wasn't what concerned me, but we'd arrived at a large set of doors with two Niemenian guards out front. They bowed to the royals then turned to open the doors. They scraped along the tile floor with a loud sound, making me wince and wonder if this whole castle could hear them.
The receiving room was actually quite small—smaller than the one I used to occupy. But there, in the center on a crystal throne, was Ariadna.
She was perhaps in her mid-forties, and carried a maternal swell in her lower stomach that she rested a pale, bejeweled hand on. Her bright blue eyes had focused on me the moment I'd walked into the room. I counted the steps until Luard stopped then raised my gaze to meet hers.
"My queen," Luard said, bowing from the hip.
I froze. Did I bow? Nod slightly? What was the protocol of one royal meeting another?
My heart thudded so loudly I was sure she heard it.
But she simply smiled with a kind look and pushed herself to stand. "Luard, I think I need to take a walk. Will you leave us for a bit?"
I didn't want him to go, but my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. Luard walked away wordlessly, his soft footfalls echoing farther and farther away as I remained rooted to the spot. The doors behind me closed with a loud sound, and despite my best efforts, I jumped.
"You can exhale, you know," she said with a little chuckle. "I promise I won't behead you. After all, we are related through marriage."
I nodded, biting my tongue before the apology tumbled from it. "I suppose you're right."
She gingerly stepped off the dais and joined me in the center of the room. She rested her hands on my shoulders, pushing them down gently. "Brynna, please relax. I know why you're here and I'm willing to listen to you."
Something in her smile loosened the tension from the back of my mind. "All right. I'm…I guess I still don't know what I'm doing. Perhaps even less than when I sat on the throne."
"Oh, my love, none of us know what we're doing," she said, returning her hands to the swell of her stomach. "We just do the best we can with the information we have."
Much like with Luard, Ariadna's features and mannerisms reminded me of Katarine. The soft gaze, the quiet thinking, that slight pause before she spoke. It tugged at my heart. I hadn't even realized how much I missed my sister-in-law until just now.
"So, things are quite a mess down in Forcadel, aren't they?" Ariadna began as we walked down a long hallway.
"To put it lightly," I said. "How much do you know?"
"More than Ilara wants me to, I'm sure," she said. "And less than Katarine wants me to know, too. Most of her letters arrived already opened. What you provided me last night was the most enlightening I've received to date."
"The long and short of it is: Ilara came to my kingdom asking for help. I gave it to her, and she repaid me with a knife to the belly and the theft of my kingdom."
"And now you're here, asking me for help?" Ariadna asked lightly.
"I promise I won't stab you," I said with a nervous giggle.
"Well, that's good to hear," Ariadna said, rubbing her stomach with a soft smile. "Ilara informs me that she'll allow my ships entry when I accept her as queen of Forcadel."
"And…" I swallowed. "Why haven't you?"
"Because I don't like her, and I don't like being told what to do," she said. "The girl has a lot to learn if she wants to keep her position. Though from what Kitty-Kat tells me, she's not listening very well." She cast her gaze upon me. "Not that you did, either."
My face flushed. "I wasn't aware that you two spoke about me."
"Just idle chatter between sisters," Ariadna said. "She was, as you can imagine, devastated at the death of your brother. Even if they weren't romantically involved, she did care for him. From all her accounts, he was a good husband to her. And a better friend."
"I know," I replied softly. "And you have my word that if I reclaim the throne, Kat can continue to live as she pleases in my castle as my guest."
"If being the operative word," Ariadna replied. "What's your plan? What forces do you bring to the fight?"
I licked my lips, taking a breath to gather my thoughts and the information Luard had helped me prepare. "I have a hundred strong in the forest and Captain Llobrega promises the aid of the castle guard. My plan will be to use Niemenian forces to isolate the city through a blockade on the Ash river, and then use my forces to cut off the bay and the Vanhoja river on the other side."
"That sounds like a wonderful start to a plan," she said with a shake of her head. "But I still can't justify sending my ships down the river to help a foreign nation conduct a coup on a promise. After all, if I want the borders open, all I have to do is send a letter acknowledging Ilara's rightful ownership of Forcadel."
She could, but she hadn't. And I still had one ace up my sleeve, the city of Skorsa.
Yet, I hesitated. Up until now, this journey had been like being carried by a river, not resisting, but not helping myself along either. If I offered Skorsa, I'd be making a decision that this was the path I wanted.
Then again, I could offer and she could still refuse me.
"I am willing to allow you to take the city of Skorsa as thanks for your assistance," I said after a pause.
Ariadna tapped her bejeweled finger to her chin, deep in thought and I was actually relieved she didn't look too excited by the idea. "Even with Skorsa, it's a big ask. If you aren't successful, our alliance could jeopardize Niemen's relationship with Forcadel, perhaps permanently. It could result in all-out war between our countries."
I nodded, exhaling. "I understand."
"However," Ariadna said, casting me a coy look over her shoulder. "If you get King Neshua on your side, and he agrees to provide half the forces you need, I'll send a fleet of ships to aid in your mission."
My mouth fell open, my emotions torn between that small glimmer of hope and complete dread. "Get Neshua on my side? As in, go to Kulka and beg him for help?"
"Yes," she said. "For you see, I may be biased because of our personal relationship through Kitty-Kat. But Neshua despises you for reneging on your marriage treaty. So if you convince him you have a shot then I'll believe helping you is worth the risk."
Convince Neshua? I was still convincing myself. But some part of me welcomed this new challenge. It was another delay, another distraction. Another leg to a journey I was rather hoping would never end.
"As a personal favor, I'll send Luard to accompany you to Delina," she said. "He needs some industry to keep him busy and I think this would be good for him. He's a brilliant man, but unfortunately, a little too wily when he's bored."
"I've noticed," I said with a dry laugh.
She smiled warmly, draping her arm over my shoulders. "Until you depart, I welcome you to enjoy Linden. Have Luard's guards take you on a tour around the city. We certainly have some of the best chocolates of the four countries."
I perked up, the memory of someone else telling me the same thing floating through my mind.
"Actually, Ariadna, I have…another small favor to ask."
It took Ariadna's people a few hours to locate Brigit. She had offloaded all her furs and spent the night in a boarding house. With two of Luard's guards escorting me, I rode in a carriage to the poorer side of the city, where I found Brigit preparing her wagon for departure.
I wiped the smile from my face as her eyebrows shot up. I stepped out, trying for an air of seriousness, but unable to keep the corners of my mouth from twitching. Luard insisted that I wear the gold circlet around town, and it was no surprise that Brigit's attention went to it.
"If you expect me to bow, I won't do it."
"I think we're way past bowing," I said, walking over to her. "Besides that, I'm not even royalty anymore. Although I do apologize for not telling you."
"It's understandable, considering the circumstances." She cast a look at my clothes, a new tunic and fine leather boots under a thick black cloak. "Did you have a chat with Ariadna?"
"I did," I said, deciding not to share any more, in case word got back to Forcadel. "And her brother Luard. He's one of those fancy princes who buys too many clothes. And it turns out, he's in need of a new fur supplier."
That was a lie. Luard said he had a great one out of the northern part of the country, but he didn't mind taking on another as a personal favor to me.
"Oh?" Brigit said with a look of surprise. "And so—"
I couldn't hold back the grin as I opened my palm, showing her a gold coin with Luard's seal on it. "This pass will allow you to use the royal road to Aymar for free, as many times as you need. He's partial to white fox fur, too. And…I've asked Ariadna to reconsider the tariffs on the road, especially for her own people. I don't know if she'll fix it, but…"
Her stoic eyes grew wet as she grasped the coin in her hand.
"I know you think the royals don't care about people, and maybe a lot of people get lost in the shuffle," I said. "But they do care. Or at least, I do. And if I get back on the throne, I'll do my best to make things better for everyone." I shrugged. "It won't really help you much but—"
She was no longer listening. Pressing the gold coin to her chest, she was silently praying, and a tear dropped down her weathered cheek.
"I'll ask the Mother to continue to look after you," she said, wiping her cheek. "Because if you show the people of Forcadel half the kindness you've shown me here, they would be lucky citizens indeed."
I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat.
"Here," she said, pressing something into my hand. "Since I no longer need to travel the mountains, perhaps you can use this to keep your head."
I opened my palm—it was her bag of tinneum, the leaf that had helped clear my mind in the mountains.
"I can't take this," I whispered.
"I insist," she said, pushing it further into my hand. "There may be larger fears than wolves in your future. Best to approach them with a clear mind and heart."
Help one person. You will have made a difference to them, and perhaps that will settle the uncertainty in your heart.
I clutched the tinneum to my chest as I waved Brigit off. Perhaps that old priest back in Skorsa hadn't been too far off after all.