"Captain, why is smoke rising from the southeastern neighborhoods?"
My upper lip twitched as Queen Ilara stood with her back to me, staring out a window at the city she'd taken four months before. She was two heads shorter than me, with a skinny, bony body that belied her sharp mind and sharper personality. Her black hair ran straight down her back, resting atop a shapeless, Severian silk gown that ended just above her sandaled feet.
"Captain, did you hear me?" She turned to look at me, nothing but contempt in her eyes. "Why is my city on fire?"
Because it isn't yours. I cleared my throat and forced myself to look interested. "The citizens seem to be protesting your latest edicts on the curfew."
"By setting their own homes on fire?" She snorted and turned back to the glass. "These people are idiots. Cut off their noses to spite their faces. Tell me you've made progress finding who is responsible."
I bit my tongue and swallowed all the words I wanted to say. "Not yet. For obvious reasons, the citizenry doesn't trust us anymore, so it's been difficult to get information from them. Unfortunately, there are still many who don't accept you as the queen."
She stiffened and cast me a dangerous look over her shoulder. "And do you, Captain, accept me?"
I covered the silver Severian crest at my left breast and bowed. "Of course."
We'd been playing this delicate dance since the day I'd sworn fealty to her. She could very well have me hanged, but then she'd have the entirety of my guard up in arms against her. She needed them on her side, and so she needed me on her side. Alternatively, if I decided to leave my position, there would be no one to protect the guard—or the city—from her capricious whims. I had to stay, even if it made my skin crawl to be near her.
She seemed placated and turned back to the window. I fought the urge to rip the seal off and throw it at her head. If I thought she'd listen, I would've told her that replacing all the symbols of Forcadel with Severian ones was part of the reason everyone hated her. The other, of course, was that she was responsible for destroying the Lonsdale line, including my best friend August and my…my Brynna.
A pang of sadness echoed in my chest, but this one wasn't very harsh. Thinking about it from a distance seemed to help.
"This city should be thanking me," she muttered under her breath.
"If I may," I began slowly, "it might be in your best interests to allow more ships, at least from Neveri, so we can start receiving food shipments from the Kulkans again. Perhaps just increase the tariffs—"
She spun, a deadly look in her eye. "It's not about the money, you stupid man. King Neshua has yet to accept me as queen of Forcadel. So why would I give him what he wants?"
I could've told her that Neshua couldn't care less if Forcadel starved or thrived, but I knew better than to try to reason when her ego was wounded. Forcadel's industry was wholly dependent on trade and shipping, thanks to her strategic position at the mouth of the Vanhoja and Ash rivers from Kulka and Niemen, respectively. But Ilara seemed to think it was better to close the borders to all ships.
"When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it," she snapped, turning back to the window. "I suggest you figure out who set this fire and bring them to justice."
"Of course," I replied, pressing my hand to my chest and bowing. "Will that be all, Your Majesty?"
Her dark brown eyes searched for some excuse to call for my execution. But she flicked her wrist, and I bowed before walking briskly from the room. My mind elsewhere, I almost missed the shadow standing against the wall, waiting for his turn in the throne room.
"Felix."
I stopped mid-step, a smile curling onto my face. Lieutenant Coyle, the sole traitor in my squad, stood to my left. Wisely, he hadn't said one word to me since the Severians invaded, but perhaps he'd forgotten that I wanted to press his face into the bay until the bubbles stopped.
I turned slowly, making sure he saw just how low I thought him to be. "Yes?"
"I have been speaking with Captain Maarit," he said. "She is concerned about your cadets."
I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth. Maarit was Ilara's Severian military leader and had made no secret of the fact that she considered my position here a formality. It didn't surprise me that Coyle had thrown his lot in with her. He was good at finding the strongest person and allying himself with them. Presumably why he'd become so chummy with me and Prince August.
I quirked a brow. "Curious that Maarit would speak with one of my subordinates instead of coming directly to me."
A flash of annoyance crossed his face. "Well, you're so hard to pin down lately. What with your nightly visits to the pub."
"If you know I'm visiting them, why don't you just find me there?" I retorted with a steely glare. "We can have a pint and talk about the past few months."
He sighed and took a step forward, lowering his voice. "I think it would behoove you to watch your tone and who you piss off around here. You aren't invincible just because the cadets worship you, Felix."
"That's Captain Llobrega to murderers." His reaction was swift but muted, not at all what I wanted. So I kept digging. "You know, I'm sure it takes a special sort of man to look someone in the eye while plotting their death. Did you feel anything when you put the poison in August's food?"
"I didn't kill him," Coyle said. "I just—"
"Made sure it happened?" I offered. "Whether you slipped it into his dinner or not, you're complicit." I shook my head, disgusted, as I walked past him. "If I'd have known you were so desperate for my job, I gladly would've stepped aside."
"Would you?" he asked softly. "I didn't think anything got between you and your princess."
My steps faltered before I could stop myself, but when I turned to face him, he was already walking away. I glared at the back of his neck, envisioning what it might be like to drive my sword through it. But he turned the corner, and all that was left was my anger and failure.
My princess. She certainly was that. I had no idea when that annoying, petulant, beautiful woman had crawled under my skin. Whether behind a mask or sitting on the throne, Brynna was a force of nature. She was impetuous but also fiercely loyal. Fearless and impossible to tame. And yet smart, methodical, strategic. I had known she'd be difficult when I found her in that butcher's shop, but I hadn't expected her to tear down my defenses and take residence in my heart so assuredly.
And now she was gone.
The pain I'd locked away broke free, and my eyes grew wet with regret and grief. I could almost hear the sound of her sardonic laugh. The quiet whisper of her feet against rooftops. The beating of her heart as I held her close to me during that brief, beautiful moment when I'd allowed myself to believe that we could be together.
I swallowed, clearing my throat. Brynna would've wanted me to continue what she'd started—to keep a close eye on the people she'd sacrificed so much for. But it was hard with Ilara's iron grip on the country. Blockading the border was merely the beginning—she'd implemented a curfew in the city that was stymying business, and the jails were filling with more innocents than not. Her Severian guards, technically reporting to me, were wreaking havoc in the city. The Council was now relegated to squabbling amongst themselves as they fought for Ilara's favor. Only Garwood had chosen to go to jail than swear fealty to her. She was content to let him rot in there, as the few public executions she'd conducted had resulted in riots that lasted for days.
As for the rest of us, we were powerless in most ways, so we did what we could. I remained as a buffer between my cadets and Ilara's demands. For however long she tolerated me.
With Coyle's—and presumably Maarit's—attentions on my cadets, I spent the afternoon with the oldest: twenty-five cadets who by all accounts should have been graduated months ago. But they'd lived through not one but four monarch changes during their last year of training. They were as unsettled as I felt, and I worried they might do or say something to earn a reprimand. And unlike the previous three royals, Ilara had little patience with insubordination.
"It has come to my attention," I began, watching the ripple of attention shift down the line, "that there have been some discussions about the queen that haven't been favorable. I know that this year has been difficult for all of you, and we're all adjusting to our new sovereign. But as her royal guard, you have a sworn duty to the crown—and whoever wears it."
A flicker of disgust crossed on a girl's face, but she schooled her expression quickly.
"And more importantly," I continued, choosing my words wisely, "you have a duty to your kingdom. Without its people, Forcadel is nothing. Protecting those people is as important as protecting the one person up there." I pointed at the castle behind me. "As is protecting your guard siblings. You've been together since you were children, as I was with my squad. You are a family, and always will be."
I paused to let my words sink in then began to walk the length of the cadet line.
"Trust, however, isn't easy to come by, it appears," I said, trying not to think of Coyle and what he'd done. "So if you think you can speak freely and poorly of our queen in front of your friend, you might find yourself in the town square sooner than you think. If you have concerns, come to me. If you have disloyalty, then…" I paused. "Then the door is right there. I'd much rather you leave than stay on disgruntled."
And be executed for treason, I finished silently.
"Let me make one thing clear to you: If I find any of you disparaging the queen in any way, I'll have you lashed within an inch of your life then dismissed onto the streets. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Captain," they chanted back.
"You have been given a great honor here," I continued. "I only accept the best of the best in my ranks, and the moment you slip, you will be out of here. Onto the streets or back to your families to live a life of shame."
"Yes, Captain."
"I handpicked most of you," I said, coming to stand in the center. "And I hate being wrong. Understood?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Dismissed."
In unison, they pressed their left fists to their chests, void of any crest until they graduated, and bowed. Then they turned to their left and dispersed in an orderly fashion. They said nothing, but I could tell by the way they looked at each other that each was taking a different lesson. I had a feeling the half that could leave, would. And they'd be better for it.
"I hate being wrong, hm?"
I turned and a warm smile blossomed on my face. Katarine and Beata stood behind me, arm-in-arm and dressed in blue and purple, respectively. After Ilara had taken over the castle, she'd taken care of announcing to the kingdom that Katarine and Beata were a couple, and everyone was too terrified of ending up dead in the town square to talk much about it. The one good thing Ilara had done since she'd arrived.
"I'll see you upstairs," Beata said, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. "Don't be too late."
"Out for a stroll?" I asked Katarine as Beata disappeared.
"Since I can't seem to get time with you, I thought I'd meet you out here," she said, taking my arm and walking me toward the barracks. "I miss you, Felix."
I squeezed her arm. "I miss you, too."
"And I'm worried about you," she said. "The guards say you're drinking yourself to sleep every other night."
"They're exaggerating. It's once every three nights."
"She wouldn't want you to do this to yourself," Katarine said in a soft whisper.
She… I tried not to let myself react, but it was hard when my best friend scrutinized me. So I looked away to hide my face.
"Felix, you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened," Katarine said as we walked into the empty halls of the barracks. "It's been months. You have to move on."
I forced a smile onto my face. "Have you?"
"I'm trying to." She shook her head, and a blonde strand fell from her tight bun. "I keep reminding myself I have a duty to this kingdom, and to Beata, to keep moving forward." She turned to me, pressing her hand to my cheek. "And you have a duty to me not to leave me alone with that witch."
"Did you not just hear my rousing speech on besmirching the queen?" I wagged my finger at her.
Katarine smacked my hand away. "Felix, I'm serious. If you drink yourself to death…"
"You're probably more likely to find me in jail—"
"Don't joke about that. I don't think I could handle it if you ended up there, down with Garwood." She cast a longing look toward the castle. "I'm worried. He's become quite ill, and Ilara won't let me tend to him…" She turned back to me. "You're one bad mood away from joining him."
"If something happens to me, you can go back to Niemen with Bea," I said. "I know your sister would take you back."
"Forcadel is my home." She stopped and turned to me, poking me in the chest. "And you're my best friend. So you'd better knock it off before I move you in with Bea and me to keep a closer eye on you."
I softened. Katarine wouldn't willingly give up her newfound privacy with Beata unless she was really worried about me.
"I'm not going to die," I whispered. "Promise."
"There are people who love you," she said. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, too."
I pulled her into a hug, and she rested her forehead on my shoulder. We'd lost so much already—Maurice, August, Brynn, the kingdom. Katarine had been so strong through it all, even though I knew in her private moments, she let herself disintegrate. The last thing I wanted was to add to her pain, so perhaps a little white lie would soothe her in the short term.
"I promise, Kat, I'll be here for a long time," I said, rubbing her back. "And to that end, I'm spending the evening with two soldiers. On duty."
She gave me a look so fierce I almost felt bad for lying to her. But the less she knew, the safer she'd be.