SARA'S HOUSE
Dad's trial starts next Monday. For the past couple of weeks I've been living at Sara's. Grandfather Eric is letting Dad's lawyer stay at the house. It wasn't only going in the house to get something to eat and seeing Dad's lawyer sitting around the kitchen, smoking and with papers spread all over the table. One day I came home after school and as I started up the driveway, a man took my picture and then started asking me how I felt about my dad and was I going to the trial?
I ran inside the studio and called Bob. He had given me his phone number at work and said I could call anytime I wanted to. I was crying and he left his store and came and got me. That was when he said I could stay here as long as I wanted.
I like it here. Elaine reminds me of Mom a little, because she bakes bread and makes thick soups sometimes. Bob is nothing like Dad, though. He has a black beard and is always smiling. I want to ask him why he's so happy. Maybe that's just how he is. Some people are born happy and some people aren't. Jen was born happy. I'm not sure about me yet.
It's kind of strange but nice to be sitting here at the dinner table—me, Sara, Bob, Elaine, and Jenna. This is the first timé Jen's been here. If anybody looked in through the window over the sink, they would think we were a family. Jen wanted to come over to ask Bob to help her with her idea for a web page for kids whose parents have died. I told her she couldn't curse around Sara and she said okay.
I wasn't sure how Sara would feel about Jen coming for dinner, but she seems pretty happy, like she now has a big "sister" to go with her big "brother," me. Jenna and Bob have been talking and even though both his parents are still alive, he seems as excited about the web site as Jenna. They go into the family room, where there's a computer, leaving me, Sara, and Elaine sitting at the table.
"Do you miss your mother?" Sara asks.
"Sara! You aren't supposed to ask Jeremy that Remember?" Then she turns to me. "I'm sorry. I know that you told her your mother had died, but ever since you started coming here last fall she wanted to know what happened. She was very concerned because she said you seemed very sad and that was why she went up to you in Miss Albright's room that day. So we thought it best to tell her what happened. But she promised not to bring it up to you."
"It's okay," I respond. I look at Sara. "Yes. I miss my mother."
"My mom will be your mother. Won't you, Mom?"
Elaine blushes. She doesn't know what to say. Neither do I. Our eyes meet and then we both look away.
"Think about it, Mom. Okay?" Sara says, breaking the awkward silence. "Would you like my mom to be your mom?" Sara asks me.
I want to say yes, but what if I do and Elaine doesn't want to? But before I know it, my mouth says, "That would be great."
Sara's face breaks into a big grin. "What do you say, Mom?"
Elaine smiles. "Your father and I will have to talk about it."
"But I heard you talking about it one day and Dad said—"
"Sara! That's enough. Why don't you two go find something to do while I clean up."
"I can help," I offer.
"Go. I'll be fine."
I can't believe it! Maybe Bob and Elaine want to adopt me. But I don't know if they can. I mean, what do you have to do to adopt somebody? It's probably real hard, and what about Grampy and Gran? They will probably say Jen and I have to come live with them. Sometimes I feel like a homeless person. I have places where I can go and sleep, but that's not the same as a home. A home is a place where you're always wanted.
Sara and I go into the family room.
"Jeremy! Bob is showing me how to create a web page!"
Sometimes Jenna makes me angry! She hasn't been here an hour and already she's calling people by their first names and hogging the computer.
"What do you think, Jeremy?" Bob turns and asks me, nodding at the computer screen.
At the top of the screen are the words The Haven. Underneath in smaller letters it says, "A place for children whose parents have died."
"So? Say something," Jenna prods me.
"I'm thinking," I answer slowly, trying to stay mad at her but getting interested in what she and Bob are doing.
"So what're you thinking, Jeremy?" Bob wants to know.
"About what it looks like. What if the words The Haven were curved, like in a semicircle?"
"An arc!" Bob responds, excited. He does a couple of quick clicks on the computer mouse and, like magic, the two words are now in a semicircle. "Like that?"
"Yeah! And then, maybe a design or a picture and then, below that you could put 'A place for children whose parents have died.'"
"What do you think should go in the middle?"
"Maybe some flowers," Jen offers. "Wait a minute! Jeremy! You remember a couple of summers ago when we went to California and Mom took us somewhere. It was north of San Francisco, I think."
"Oh yeah! I remember that!"
"Do you remember seeing fields of purple wildflowers?"
I nod, excited now, too. "They looked so pretty in the green grass."
Bob clicks on the mouse some more and begins showing us nature photographs.
"Like that!" Jen exclaims, pointing to a photograph that is almost exactly like what we saw.
"That's it!" I agree. The flowers are the same ones as on the cover of Mom's diary.
A few more clicks and the photograph is on the web site. Bob moves the other words beneath the picture.
"That's awesome!" Jen exclaims, looking at me. "Great idea! It looks so peaceful and inviting now."
"What next?" Bob wants to know.
Jen shakes her head. "I don't know. I've been going back and forth in my head about this and had almost decided it was too crazy an idea, but seeing it on the screen, I'm so excited I can't think straight."
"That's fine. I'll save it and the next time you and Jeremy want to work on it, just let me know. It'll be here."
"Thank you so much!" Jen says. "So, so much!"
She gets up from the chair where she's been sitting next to Bob.
"I'll take you home whenever you're ready," he offers.
"Thanks. I need to talk to my brother for a minute and then I'll be ready to go."
"Take your time."
Jen and I go into the living room and sit on the couch.
"Thanks, Jeremy. You really have a good eye for stuff like this."
I shrug. "I guess."
"Will you help me put it together?"
"If you want me to."
"I want you to."
We're quiet for a minute. I think I know what she wants to talk about. I want to, too.
"Are you going to the trial?" she asks.
I nod. I have to. I want to tell her why, but I can't. "Are you going?"
She nods. "Part of me wishes it was all over with. I mean, I keep thinking, what if the jury says he's not guilty and he gets out of jail? Would that mean we'd have to go back and live with him?"
"No way!" I exclaim. "No way! How could a jury say he didn't do it when everybody knows he did? That doesn't make sense!"
"I know. But I guess it could happen. Anyway, Karen said the prosecutor wants to meet with you and me."
"Why does he—"
"She."
"Why does she want to meet with us?"
"Just to let us know what's going to happen. She said the trial shouldn't take more than a day or two since there's no question that Dad did it. The only thing that needs to be decided is if he was crazy when he did it"
"He wasn't. I know he wasn't"
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just am."
"You're probably right. Anyway, the prosecutor is coming over to Karen's Friday after Grampy and Gran get into town. Okay?"
"Sure."
Jen gets up. "It's really nice here. Elaine and Bob are nice, too. You're lucky and I'm kind of jealous."
"What do you mean?"
"Living with Karen is cool, but it's like we're roommates. You're lucky."
Bob asks if I want to ride with them. I shake my head. "See ya," Jen says, and she wouldn't say it in front of Bob and Sara, but I can hear her add "fart face."
"See ya," I reply, and silently add "turd breath."
We smile at each other as she goes out the door.