‘Hi, Mum.’
‘Oh, hi, love. How are you coping?’
Julia stared at the wall of her bedroom. ‘I’m surviving. I kind of wish I was at home, though. It’s not the same here, really.’
‘You sound so down, love. Cheer up, it’s nearly Christmas. The girls haven’t trashed your room yet, although they were having a pillow fight in there earlier.’
Julia winced. ‘I suppose it could be worse.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll see you soon. Enjoy your little adventure while you can, though. You might make some new friends.’
‘Yeah, maybe.’
‘You might even meet someone special. After that last one you deserve a little luck.’
‘I doubt it, Mum.’
‘You never know.’
Julia shook her head. ‘Really, it’s not going to happen.’
‘You should be more positive about things.’
Julia thought about the conversation she had overheard in the church. ‘I’m trying,’ she said.
‘Julia!’ came Mabel’s voice up the stairs. ‘Are you coming, dear?’
‘Mum, I’ve got to go,’ Julia said. ‘See you soon, I hope.’
‘Bye, love. Love you. Take care.’
‘And you, Mum.’
Julia hung up, then set the phone down beside her bed. Mabel called her again, and Julia briefly wondered if she should make up some kind of excuse to miss dinner. A dodgy mince pie, maybe? Perhaps the flu? Or maybe leprosy? Anything to avoid Elizabeth’s smug face. However, after an afternoon of digging snow and an evening of aimless walking through cold, snowy streets, she was starving, and while her resolve might want one thing, her stomach shouted louder.
‘Coming,’ she called.
Downstairs, the seating arrangement of previous mealtimes had been rearranged. Magnus still sat at one end, but Joseph now sat at the other end, with Elizabeth uncomfortably close on his left. Julia was next to Magnus with Mabel across from her, with Xavier sitting between Julia and Joseph.
Mabel had cooked a mouthwatering roast beef, complete with piles of vegetables and trimmings. Open bottles of wine stood tantalisingly close. Julia sat on her hands to stop herself from grabbing and swigging directly from the nearest bottle.
As soon as Mabel had finished dishing out the food, Elizabeth stood up. She tapped a wine glass with a spoon, a jarring sound around a table that was already silent. Only Basil reacted, lifting his head from his basket and letting out a low moan.
‘I’d like to make an announcement,’ Elizabeth said, although from complete lack of reaction around the table, Julia was certain she was the only one who didn’t already know. ‘After a whirlwind romance, Jason and myself have decided to get married.’
‘Joseph,’ Joseph said, briefly looking up, before lowering his head again.
‘There’s no need to worry about trivial matters,’ Elizabeth snapped. ‘What’s important is our love.’ She reached down in an attempt to pat him on the shoulder, but he had leaned over to pass a piece of beef to Basil, and instead she just made an awkward pumping motion in midair. Mabel sighed and looked away. Xavier took a picture. Magnus glanced at Julia and offered a smile of solidarity.
‘Congratulations,’ Julia muttered.
‘I’d like to propose a toast,’ Elizabeth said, lifting a glass of water. ‘To myself and … ah … Joseph.’
Everyone except Xavier—who was holding his camera—lifted their glasses. Julia muttered something even she couldn’t hear and then swigged down half her glass of wine. It actually made her feel better. Magnus, perhaps noticing her discomfort, reached over and topped it up.
‘Yes,’ Elizabeth was saying, still standing up. ‘I know you’re probably all wondering how we could find love so quickly in such a little village in the middle of nowhere, but I guess that’s just what snow and a little Christmas magic can do for you.’ She fiddled nervously with a loose strand of hair, then frowned at Xavier, whom Julia realised was filming. ‘Would you like me to do that again?’
Xavier shook his head, then mouthed something.
‘Yes, natural is good,’ Elizabeth said. Then, shaking her head, she cleared her throat and continued, ‘And what a joining of worlds indeed. A simple farmer with one of the world’s most famous online faces. A no one with … a someone. Proof right here on my channel that love can overcome all adversity. And I want all of you to be there for my special moment, which will of course be streamed live.’
‘Any chance you could sit down, dear, and eat your lettuce before it goes warm,’ Mabel said.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. ‘We’ll cut that bit … so, on December 24th, the event of the year. One that will usurp even Christmas itself. The marriage of … Elizabeth Trevellian.’
She continued to hold the pose for a few seconds until Xavier lifted a hand and made an OK sign. Elizabeth let out a sigh, nodded, and sat down. Ignoring Joseph completely, she stuffed a leaf of lettuce into her mouth, then stood up again.
‘Thank you for the meal, Grandmother,’ she said to Mabel. ‘Oh, that sounded so strange! I must go and exfoliate. X, I’ll need you to film it. If we still can’t get any connection for the live stream, we’ll prerecord to release it later.’
She left without another word, heading out of the kitchen. Xavier checked that she had gone before stuffing a large slice of beef into his mouth.
‘Don’t worry,’ Mabel said, as Xavier gave her a regretful smile and then stood up. ‘I’ll heat it up again later.’
Almost as soon as the door to the hall had closed behind him, Joseph stood up. Not making eye contact with anyone, he muttered, ‘I need to go and feed the wolves,’ and hurried out.
A couple of moments of silence passed, during which Julia tried to concentrate on her food. The beef was perfect. The potatoes exquisite. The broccoli was firm to the bite, lightly salted—
A chuckle from the end of the table made her look up. Magnus, a huge slice of beef speared on his fork, was trying to contain himself.
‘I think the snow fall too heavy on people’s heads,’ he said. ‘All sense has been squeezed out.’
Mabel speared a carrot and popped it into her mouth. ‘I don’t know what to say,’ she said. ‘He dropped it on me this afternoon. I wasn’t aware that he’d even spoken to the lass up until that point.’ She sighed. ‘I wasn’t convinced the girl was even human. I’m even less sure now.’
‘I hear from the man in the pub that tonight is karaoke,’ Magnus said. ‘Who will join me in a song?’
‘Karaoke?’ Julia said, still trying to get over the news of Joseph’s forthcoming wedding.
‘You take the mic, and you rock the mic,’ Magnus said. ‘Do you enjoy to sing the song in the shower? It’s just the same.’
Julia smiled. ‘I think I get the idea.’
Mabel stood up. ‘Let’s go,’ she said.
After they had finished eating and cleared up, they headed out. Having seen no further sign of Elizabeth, Xavier, or Joseph, they left them behind. It had begun to snow again, however, so Magnus lifted Mabel and perched her on his shoulders as he trudged through the snow like a marching robot, leaving Julia struggling to keep up. The main road into the village had been cleared during the day, however, so the fresh snow made a welcome and delightful crunch under their boots. Up ahead, the village greeted them with strings of fairy lights strung across the streets, and as they turned a corner to find the pub in front of them, the muffled sound of music came from inside. Magnus set Mabel down, and they went together, Mabel opening the door to reveal a party in progress. Locals and maroonees alike twirled and danced in the middle of the bar. Two laughing women held a limbo pole up for people carrying sloshing drinks to shimmy under.
‘It is like being on the holiday,’ Magnus said, glancing at Julia. ‘I will order the drinks. Bartender!’
‘Hey, you!’ Kelly said, pushing her way through the crowd. ‘Glad you could make it. Colin, dear of him, offered to do the child watch for the evening. You just missed a round of peach schnapps. It’s like Tenerife all over again.’
‘I’m ready for the next round,’ Julia said.
‘Been that kind of day, has it?’
Julia gave a grim nod. ‘Something like that.’
The party, however, did its best to lift her mood, especially when the karaoke began. An old grey-haired man in a tweed jacket and wearing a monocle got up and did a rather stuffy version of White Christmas, to which the locals all politely clapped. The visitors just shared perplexed looks among each other.
‘That’s him,’ Kelly hissed, as the old man handed the microphone back to Don behind the bar. ‘Lord Andrews. They all have to be nice to him because he owns most of the land round here. Seems like a jovial fellow though. It wouldn’t surprise me if he does the sheet thing again when he gets home. The kids are wised up to it now, though.’
After a group of locals did a rather ironic version of I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester, Magnus got up and pulled off a pretty good rendition of Arnie and the Terminators’ classic I’ll be Back. With his sunglasses and leather jacket, he looked straight off the film set. Julia was still laughing when Kelly pulled on her arm.
‘Come on. I don’t get out much, and I’m not drunk enough to do this on my own.’
‘What?’
Julia found herself dragged to the front of the bar where a small stage had been erected. A microphone was pushed into her hand and she stared at a TV monitor on the floor as the titles for You’re the One That I Want from Grease appeared on the screen.
‘You want John or Olivia?’ Kelly asked.
‘Ah….’
‘Okay, I’ll be John.’
Kelly was like a dog let off a leash, twisting and jiving as the song came on. Julia, feeling a little overawed, did her best to hang in there, slowly growing in enthusiasm as the song progressed. As Kelly belted out her half of the vocals, Julia found herself growing in confidence. It wasn’t like she didn’t know the song; she had to have seen the film a hundred times. And when she looked out at the crowd and realised the smiles and cheers were encouraging her rather than waiting for her to fail, she felt a surge of confidence.
As the song ended and the crowd cheered, she held her microphone aloft, holding the pose. Beside her, Kelly howled with excitement. They gave each other a high five, then climbed down from the stage.
‘So,’ Julia said, breathless. ‘What song are we going to do next?’
They had to wait a while before they got another chance. Evidently Birch Valley wasn’t usually the party capital of Devon, but with a sudden influx of new blood, it was taking on the mantle, and the locals didn’t want to be left out. A procession of Christmas songs, fifties classics, and a few dodgy eighties hits followed, before Kelly hauled Julia up for a duet version of We Are the Champions. By now, a lot of people had tired and gone home, but there was time for one more drink before Magnus took the stage first for a duet with Mabel of I’ve Got You, Babe, then a blistering solo version of an Iron Maiden song, which left the few remaining patrons wide-eyed with both awe and terror.
‘I think that we will not need to worry about being jumped on our way back,’ he said with a grin as he sat back down.
Even so, he insisted on first taking Mabel home, then returning alone to escort Kelly and Julia.
‘Colin’s going to kill me,’ Kelly slurred as they walked up a long, winding driveway towards the Grange. Julia was yet to see the local manor house, but was too tired to get excited as lights gradually appeared through the trees. ‘I promised I’d be back by ten.’
‘It’s only eleven thirty,’ Julia said, then giggled as her own words came out in a slurred rush.
‘One forty-five,’ Magnus corrected. ‘These farm people drink like the fish. In fact, they drink like the whale.’
‘Oh gosh, that late?’
Magnus chuckled. ‘It’s nearly the Christmas,’ he said. ‘Do not worry.’
They came around the last bend in the driveway, Magnus supporting Kelly on one side and Julia on the other, while still managing to keep a torch directed at the road in front. The manor house rose ahead of them as the driveway arched around in front, circling around a circular stone fountain with a rearing horse in the middle and a lump of ice on its head where the water would usually spout from. The house, three floors of Edwardian elegance, had a wide stone staircase leading up to its front doors. Julia felt a pang of jealousy as she looked up at several illuminated windows on the top floor.
‘The Christmas tree in the hall is a marvel,’ Kelly said. ‘Do you think Lord Andrews would mind if I took you in for a quick look?’
‘You may have the opportunity to ask,’ Magnus said, pointing at a white shape detaching itself from the shadows beside the stairs. ‘And I think to please him, it might be good to act afraid.’
‘Oooooh!’ came a howl, followed by a cackle of drunken laughter, as the bedsheet ghost came tearing towards them.
‘How long do you think he’s been waiting for us?’ Kelly said.
‘He has the snow on the top of the head,’ Magnus said. ‘I think the man is out of his mind.’
‘Just play along,’ Kelly said. Then, as the running figure approached, she let out a yelp of fright and ran off, almost losing her footing as she turned, before managing to right herself. Julia watched her for a moment, then turned and followed, with Magnus close behind.
‘Help!’ Kelly cried, not loud enough to wake anyone inside the house. ‘Help us, someone.’
‘There is the ghost on my tail!’ Magnus shouted. ‘I do not like the ghost!’
‘Help,’ Julia called, joining in, as she followed Kelly in a circuit of the stone fountain. They did one more loop with Lord Andrews in pursuit, before the ghost-obsessed peer came to a gasping stop. He pulled off the bedsheet in one sudden moment, leaving it on the fountain’s stone ledge, then looked up at them, a wide smile on his face as he gasped for breath.
‘Goodness me,’ he said. ‘It’s like being a child again. You didn’t know it was me, did you? You really thought this place was haunted.’
Julia, Kelly and Magnus all nodded, muttering affirmatives.
Lord Andrews tapped the side of his nose. ‘Let’s keep my little secret, shall we? Who doesn’t like a bit of a local legend, right? Now, who’s up for a quick apéritif? I have some delightful brandies down in the cellar. Although, rumour has it that the cellar might be haunted….’
They were unable to resist an offer made by a lord, and it was a good hour later when Magnus and Julia finally left, heading back down the long driveway and then through the village to finally reach Chapel Cottage. Julia felt weary beyond words, but as they reached the house, she faintly heard Joseph’s voice coming from around the side of the house. Magnus excused himself and went inside, leaving Julia standing outside the front porch, straining her ears to hear.
‘That’s it. Just a little more. Good girl. Good … girl!’
Her brain couldn’t compute what she was hearing, so she just gave a tired shake of her head. Then, with the alcohol still maintaining a tenuous hold on her senses, she shouted out, ‘Have a happy wedding!’, just a little more angrily than she had intended.
Joseph’s voice had gone quiet. Julia suddenly realising what she had said, clapped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Aware that anything she did from now on would only make matters worse, she hurried into the house, hoping that when she woke up in the morning, the snow would have melted, and she could go home.