Holger’s watch showed it was almost 7 p.m. Wednesday is only halfway through, he thought. It wasn’t unusual for him to be at the office late. Today had been a busy day, and he had to give a talk later, so he decided to go home. Not that home was much to look forward to. The villa in Hellerup was empty, as usual.
In hindsight, the divorce had been tougher on him than he had been willing to admit. Not that he missed Susanne. But he had felt unfairly treated. He had focused on his career and the law firm he had started. In order to be the breadwinner. That was, after all, what was expected of him. When Susanne told him she wanted a divorce one morning, his world fell apart. She had announced it as she was about to take Louise to nursery. Great timing. The memory was still vivid. Evidence of how shocked he had been.
However, she had no doubt made up her mind a long time before springing it on him. Once he had recovered from the blow, he had tried to talk her around. Used all his powers of persuasion. But to no avail. Perhaps the worst of all was that he had not seen it coming. Absentmindedly, he gathered a few case files and put them in his briefcase. To be on the safe side.
Susanne had been one of those girls you could not miss. Tall 100and with long blonde hair. And from the word go, at university, dressed as if she was already a lawyer. Straight out of an American TV drama. Intelligent, sharp and glamorous. He had lost his head for her on the first day he saw her, and then decided that he simply had to marry her. But it was not until after a party at the law faculty’s old premises across from the Copenhagen Cathedral that he had finally manned up. She had, without hesitation, accepted his invitation to a night out. Although he was somewhat older than her, they had had so much to talk about that the hours passed quickly. And from there on, it was smooth sailing until they got married. Now that he could see it from a distance, it was clear that they, in reality, never had anything in common, apart from the ambition to graduate at the top of their class. And the day-to-day struggle of students with spending beyond their means.
They started drifting apart as soon as they graduated. Susanne landed a nine-to-four job in the Traffic Ministry, and his career at a law firm demanded way more hours. Within a year, they were blessed with Louise, and Susanne decided to spend her time at home. It had been her choice, but that had not stopped her from calling him selfish. And too much consumed by his career. But he felt his pursuit of a career was for the benefit of the three of them.
Slowly, their marriage suffered. And once the feeling of togetherness started to crack, love was soon lost. The mutual respect had simply vanished, and in the end, Susanne simply could not accept that he was always at work.
Holger glanced at his watch again as he finally got up. He thought the cleaner could turn the lights off and headed for the door.
Even though he often tried to come home early, the reality was 101that most days he returned home after Louise had been put to bed. But he always went into her room to say goodnight. She would be asleep by then, but he enjoyed watching her tiny, sleeping head while he listened to her breathing. He was so proud to be her father; he had looked forward to all the things he would teach her when she grew older. The divorce had put a stop to all that. During the first couple of years after the break-up, he attempted to tackle the loss by working longer and longer hours. Even though it had benefited his career, he had merely felt emptier inside. Even when he had Louise for the weekends, he had been so exhausted from a long week’s work that he lacked the energy to be with her. That had fortunately changed for the better as the years went by. Maybe, because she, too, had gotten older.
These days, they spoke on the phone almost every day, and he tried hard to be a role model. Increasingly, he missed Louise in his day-to-day life, and the house on Niels Andersens Vej was far too big for him. Long days at work with no one to come home to rarely gave him the energy to prepare food. Unless Louise came for a bite. Today will be another easy dinner day, Holger thought as he opened the door to his car. He quickly buckled up, turned the ignition key and sped out of the parking lot. He needed to pick up a pizza on the way.
Giving a talk at the Royal Life Guard Barracks in Gothersgade tonight at least means that I’ll not fall asleep in front of the TV, as I do on most evenings. Holger felt upbeat as he entered the house, juggling the pizza box and his briefcase as he flickered on the TV. It was on one of the news channels, and the press conference in Vedbæk appeared. He turned up the volume and fetched a plate and some cutlery. He darted a look at his watch. Completely 102unnecessary. He was already late. He wolfed down the pizza, entered the living room, undressed and tossed his suit on the sofa. His dress uniform was on the coffee table, and he cursed himself for not having polished the regimental ensigns on the lapel. It was a disgrace for a Royal Guardsman to show up without having polished his regimental crests. Hurrying now, he found a bottle of Brasso in the kitchen, and soon the lapel badges were shining like little suns. Only Brasso is up for the job, he thought with a smile as the news feature caught his attention from the corner of an eye. The press conference was over, and in the studio, the presenter was now interviewing a guest expert, Lieutenant Colonel Per Møller from the Danish Defence College. Holger positioned himself in front of the set and turned up the volume even further so he could catch every word.
‘This is a whole new ballgame for the Danish Army. I mean, launching an attack and killing coalition soldiers,’ Per Møller enthusiastically explained.
‘Is this the result of Danish soldiers being given a new mandate, or is this just a one-off? Will they be sticking to peacekeeping, like in former Yugoslavia, going forward?’ the presenter asked provocatively.
‘If we look at the history of war, clashes between allied troops are not few and far between. What is, in technical terms, known as blue-on-blue is, unfortunately, part and parcel of war,’ Lieutenant Colonel Peter Møller answered and placed his hands on the table with a helpful demeanour.
‘War is never a pleasant affair, but we must always be prepared to deploy Danish soldiers when our politicians believe we can contribute. And, of course, with a mandate that enables them to 103handle even the more robust missions,’ he continued as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.
Yokel, Holger thought, irritated, and turned off the TV.
As he was getting ready to leave, he once more read the invitation for the evening’s lecture hanging on the refrigerator door. ‘Our fellow officer, Captain of the reserves and leading lawyer Holger Berg will give a talk on Denmark in the new world after the fall of the wall. His impressive career with the Jaeger Corps and as a Russian Language specialist, together with his time in FE, gives him a unique perspective on Denmark’s present position.’ Maybe it was because he had put on his uniform, but suddenly his thoughts led him back to 1983. He had been attached to a US patrol from Ten Special Forces Group during the exercise ‘SPRING TRAINING’. Holger had acted as scout for the Americans and had met the ‘Green Berets’ for the first time. He had not been impressed, but hearing about their combat experiences from the Vietnam War had been enjoyable. Back at the mess, Holger and his colleagues had told each other that the Jaeger Corps was not bad when compared with the war-seasoned Americans. Holger was abruptly brought back from the past by the strident ringtone from the living room. He picked up the slim phone from its holder:
‘This is Holger. Hi Susanne. No, I can’t do it this evening. I’m giving a talk at the Officers Association. Co-ordinate? We’re not married anymore. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But they’ve done a lot to market the event, and I’m already late.’
He waited for her reaction; the one he’d hoped for failed to materialise.
‘OK.’ Their relationship had improved recently, but Susanne remained staunchly unimpressed by his achievements. 104
‘OK, no need to be overly enthusiastic! I can’t pick her up from tennis tonight. But feel free to ask another time. Give Louise a hug,’ he said and hung up.