I’m in the passenger’s seat of Mr. Evans’s van. We’ve both been quiet since we left Camp Clearwater. I can’t stop thinking about Mike. About what could have happened to him. All so someone could dump toxic garbage without consequence. It makes me angry. So angry I could scream. I think of him alone in the woods somewhere. Scared. Alone. To try to think of something else, I focus on the music playing on the radio.
Mr. Evans hits the volume knob, and the car is quiet. “You must be starving,” he says. “It’s well after dinnertime.”
“I’m okay.”
“What would your parents think if I let you waste away?”
I shrug. My parents had wanted to come with me to Mike’s vigil. But I told them this was something I had to do with my friends from Clearwater. “I’m more worried about Owen and Mercy. I haven’t texted them to let them know I’m okay.”
“Where are they?” asks Mr. Evans.
“Downtown. They were going to get ice cream at Smokin’ Elliot’s last time I saw them.”
Streetlights come into view, the dark of the forest giving way to the sparse lights of the town of Guilford Falls. It’s such a little place, but compared to how deserted the land around Camp Clearwater is, this place is a metropolis.
“Why don’t you go get dinner with them?” Mr. Evans says. “Get some pizza or something?”
I frown, confused. “But the sheriff—”
“I can talk to the sheriff.” Mr. Evans pulls onto Main Street, his eyes on the road.
I shake my head. “You didn’t see the guys. I have to do this. Only I can do this.”
Mr. Evans sighs. “Nate, I appreciate that you want to be brave for Mike’s sake. And you’ve proven you are brave. But you don’t have to be a hero here.”
His handwriting in my file scribbles across my mind—don’t push. He’s still worried I’m too fragile for this.
“I’m not afraid of these guys,” I say.
“I didn’t say you were. I’m just saying things aren’t simple here.” He pulls the car over to the side of the road. We’re parked in front of Smokin’ Elliot’s BBQ Shack. Mike’s family’s restaurant. Mr. Evans turns to me, his face serious. “What happened to you today, what happened to Mike—this is getting dangerous. I think it would be good if I talked to the sheriff by myself first. We don’t know if these guys are watching the station, waiting for you to turn up.”
I hadn’t considered that. And after the way they came after me, it makes sense that they would be on the lookout for me.
Mr. Evans sighs. “I’d just feel more comfortable going in there on my own and keeping you out of it for now. I’ll tell Sheriff Nichols you can provide a description if she wants one. But she can get it from you at Clearwater.”
I’m quiet. Mr. Evans is probably right.
He fishes into his pocket and pulls out a twenty-dollar bill. “Here,” he says, handing it to me. “Get some dinner at the BBQ Shack with Owen and Mercy. You’ve done enough today. Just take it easy for tonight.”
I shake my head, refusing the money. “I don’t want to take it easy until Mike’s found.”
“Nate, that could be…” Mr. Evans’s arms drop in his lap, and he looks away from me. He’s frowning. Something’s wrong.
“What?” I ask him.
“Nate…” He looks back at me. There’s sadness in his eyes. “I didn’t know how to tell you this earlier. Neither did Raina. But…they’ve called off the search.”
My breath catches in my throat.
“They’ve exhausted all ground and air efforts to find him,” Mr. Evans explains. “There’s just nothing more they can do at this point.”
I can’t breathe. The ground falls away from me.
I claw at the door of the van. It’s locked. I can’t get out.
I need air.
I need to breathe.
“Hang on, hang on,” says Mr. Evans, frantically reaching for the Unlock button.
With a click the doors unlock, and I pull the handle and tumble out of the van. The world is spinning. I stagger to the curb. There’s a big planter of yellow flowers. I lean on it, trying to force air into my lungs.
Mr. Evans is beside me, rubbing my back. “I know, Nate. Just take a deep breath.”
“Nate?” Mercy and Owen stand on the steps of Smokin’ Elliot’s. Mercy has a takeout container in her hands.
I run over to them, grabbing them both and hugging them tight.
And then I start to cry.