• tool kit •
What does rest look like for you? Is it a frame of mind? A pause? A nap? Time away? Is rest valid on its own, or does it need to be part of something larger? What answer will you provide today when someone asks you, “How are you?”
verb. 1. cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. 2. allow to be inactive in order to regain strength, health, or energy.
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.
—Sir John Lubbock
all that i need is within me. it is poured out freely with a wise hand in appropriate measure. and it is held by the hand of contentment, in rest, that i may be refreshed and greet another opportunity with joy and welcome.
—mar
Some days I feel infinite possibilities, and other days I feel like infinitely napping. But possibility continues to win out. I wish you success in your most important things—and contentment, at least, in everything else.
Success in many settings seems to be measured by how high someone's stress meter rises or how much they have to do. Ask someone how they are doing, as they're bustling about, busy with lists and errands and endless things that “must” be done, and most commonly the answer is an exasperated, “I'm fine, but so busy!”
Imagine this. Imagine someone in the midst of an office or bustling mall or parent meeting or any other place where busy and important people gather. Now imagine asking this person, “How are you?” and having them answer, “I'm rested. I'm doing what I love doing, but I don't feel stressed about it. And if I don't complete all the things I want to do, at least I know I've given my best effort. And I'm certain to make time for a nap this afternoon.”
I don't know. I can just imagine someone sarcastically saying, “Man, I want your life.” But they probably don't.
We each must determine what actions we allow to define us. Determine us. Or if we allow actions to do that at all. How do you allow yourself to be defined? And what kind of answers do you provide when people ask you how you are?
Being well rested is a key to a strong immune system and good judgment. Yet rest time is shaved off for hosts of things, not the least of which is television. Ernest Hemingway (who was not a particularly good role model at the end of his life, but had a lot of very good observations) said, “I still need more healthy rest in order to work at my best. My health is the main capital I have and I want to administer it intelligently.” For some folks, rest can only be justified by the results in produces in other areas. More energy to do things.
Even though naps are a favorite thing, real rest does not comes easily to me. I am bound up with the enormity of what I long to accomplish. It used to take getting sick to make me rest. (“Whaddaya mean ‘used to’?” my conscience is asking me.) Pushing myself beyond healthy limits could be considered a hobby of mine. I'm not proud of it, and I did not even want to tell you this. But. It's true. I aspire to “read the signs” along my own roads that are clear indicators that it's time to not only slow down, but to rest. To restore and refresh.
For me, beyond the yummy world of an afternoon nap (which does wonders for me), rest is a state of mind. There's a common slang phrase, “give it a rest, will ya?”
Yes. Give it a rest. Set the weights down. You can pick everything up whenever you want. Just a small rest. Rest begins as a commitment to a way of thinking, and then it moves into the physical world of literal rest.
• tool kit •
What does rest look like for you? Is it a frame of mind? A pause? A nap? Time away? Is rest valid on its own, or does it need to be part of something larger? What answer will you provide today when someone asks you, “How are you?”
noun. regard for one's own well-being and happiness.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
—Eubie Blake (attributed)
sing of your singularity and bask in the shine of all that you are and all that you may become.
—mar
The following is an invitation I wrote to myself for greater self-care in the coming year. It was my celebration of New Year's Eve. The aspirations listed here continue to be important to me as I seek greater ways of loving myself and providing my whole being with the best possible care.
Sanctuary. I assert to all and no one in particular that I need a sanctuary, a restful domicile. Not to simply rest well, but to imagine, create, restore, and envision.
Truth. This year I will tell the truth as well as I am able in all circumstances. The truth as well as I am able to see it. I will rein my words in carefully, and perhaps this year I will learn to listen better than I have.
Nourishment. Awakening early, I will begin my days following my breath and then inviting my body to a greater level of performance. I will feed my system with food that will fuel it well and stimulate my spirit, thought, and body's performance to higher levels of service. In this year I do not want to take false satisfaction from food products but extract my true nutrition from the life of my spirit. I will drink clean and pure water. I will strengthen my muscles for greater endurance.
Moderation. I will not be rigid in my gentle moderation of these longings as they become habit.
Growth. I will continue to celebrate my increasing ability to demonstrate love for myself and others. I will reach in all ways I know, and be willing to discover new ways, for a greater ability to serve myself and others.
I will reach for extraordinary creative expression and work and play to create work that inspires and motivates myself and others. I will rest.
Work. I will celebrate the broadening and expansion of my own body of work. I will enjoy opening doors and celebrating creative and business opportunities for me and my circle of friends.
Friendship. Carefully I will tend the spirits of friends who compose my small circle of friendships. I will do this with mindfulness and purposeful, dedicated time.
Security. I will enjoy broadening the stability of my financial base and will continue movement into stable growth.
Nature. I will learn by name the trees that stand in my world and so diligently help me breathe. I will question and study to understand the soil and have easy conversation with the growing things. I will become aware of the calls of winged creatures. I will notice the patterns of the weather and listen for the messages of the wind.
Learning. I will call my associates to greater use of their own gifts, and I will practice the new disciplines which I am calling forth from myself with joy and privilege.
I will continue to be a student and a teacher.
I will continue to sing my song and be blessed with the music of others.
I will exert discretion in my circle and be conscientious as to who gets to stand close to my heart.
I will inhale and exhale mindfully: I will be grateful for that breath and will work to make certain that I may assist in protecting the breath of others.
I will learn to rest and practice being silly. At least a little silly.
I will dance a little more.
In all ways I will endeavor to be better, smarter, and more true at the end of any day than I was at the beginning. And I will turn to this (year) (day) (week) (month) just turning new and say, “Welcome … I am ready for you.”
• tool kit •
What are the invitations you can offer to yourself to demonstrate a greater sense of loving toward yourself? How can you begin to both be more gentle with yourself and create a more truthful accountability? Can you be parent and child, both?