We’re hanging out under the oak again, but this time we’re under tight supervision. Celia’s nearby, close enough to keep an eye on us, but far enough away that we can have a decent conversation in the open.
“Are you still going away, Pam?” Gayla asks. “To Kenya for a year?”
I nod. “I need to get away from my mom’s scrutiny for a bit. Get to know—” I stop just short of saying anything about Dyal. “More about my ability.”
Etienne tosses the stick into the bushes, causing Celia to jerk her head up. She sighs and shakes her head before returning to her laptop.
“You can do that here,” Etienne says. “With Miss Maggie.”
I stare off into the branches above us before looking back at her. “I want to find my own answers. Maybe being closer to the actual land, in my own time and my own body, will help… I don’t know. I just know that Zanum is also my home. Those people were—are—my family, as much as my mom and Dr. B. And you all.”
She nods. “I know what you mean,” she says. “We’ll miss you. It’ll be quiet around here without you.”
All three of us turn to stare at her. She puts a hand on her hip. “What?”
Sharlene leans across and gives her a quick peck on the lips. “You’re such a softie, Tee, deep down inside.”
“I’ll miss you all, too,” I say.
“Did you ever hear from Bobby again?” Gayla asks.
I nod. “We’ll keep in touch. He said he makes frequent trips to Nairobi because he has family there. We’ll probably try to connect at some point.”
Sharlene cocks her head to one side. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How one summer can change everything? I mean, I’ve gotten way better at talking about my family.” She goes quiet for a moment before giving me a weak smile. “My biofamily, that is. I’m going to let Gayla take a peek into this one memory I’ve been scared to look at.”
I give her hand a squeeze. “Wow. That’s a big step, Shar.”
Etienne drapes an arm across Sharlene’s shoulders.
Sharlene laces her fingers through her girlfriend’s and shrugs. “I just want to move on, you know?” She looks up at me and I see deep wells of longing.
I know it’ll take years to learn all the layers of her story. I hope I’m around for all of those years.
“It’s true,” Gayla says. “One summer can change thousands of years.”
“Have you found out what happened with Zanum?” Etienne asks.
I take a shaky breath. “I probably wiped more people out than any invading army could.”
“Pam,” Sharlene says, reaching out to stroke my arm. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
Gayla shakes her head. “Zanum couldn’t have been wiped out. We’re still here.” She smiles. “If Zanum was destroyed, we wouldn’t be here, or at least we’d be here very differently.”
I nod slowly, hope rising in my chest. “That’s true. I don’t know what happened, but I plan to find out.”
“Let us know if you need any help,” Gayla says.
I smile. “I will.” I glance at the time on my cell phone. “I should go. Mom and Dr. B. are taking me out for a celebratory dinner.”
Gayla raises her eyebrows. “What are you celebrating?”
I give her a half-hearted grin. “The successful completion of my internship at the Margaret Schroff Leadership Academy and Residence for Girls.”
Etienne laughs. “Now you’re all set on your path to becoming a famous TV psychologist! Dr. P… has a nice ring to it.”
Sharlene scrambles up to hug me. “I will definitely see you soon,” she says. Her voice is muffled against my shoulder. “Either live or in spirit.”
By the time I’m done hugging Gayla and Etienne and Celia, and saying good-bye to Miss Maggie, my lashes are damp. And the sting of leaving behind loved ones again is lodged like a boulder in my chest.
It’s time. I throw my window open and sit next to it, listening to the leaves and the wind and the darkness. It’s the night before my flight, and I’m ready for whatever this trip and the people I meet have to teach me.
I pull back into my room and slide the window down. The rhythmic breathing of my mom and Dr. B. reaches me from down the hall.
I close my eyes and slip easily into the fold of the Dark. It feels like a long time since I last ventured here, and my heart aches with remembrance. I revel in it for a while, reaching my arms out and twirling.
I sense around for the strands. I see the one I’ve known from the beginning, there, just to the right. It wafts airily next to me, like an old friend. A golden thread of spider’s silk, beaded with dew.
I look around and am surprised to see that there are no others. It becomes a magnetic force, insistent. I move closer, eyeing it carefully, and walk around it to see how it moves.
Are you a friend?
There is an answer. It’s from Dyal. “I am you.”
“Yet you’re not me,” I say.
The strand pulls up and forms an outline of sparkling light. “I was Dyal once, full of light and love and laughter. But over the years, I became something unrecognizable—no longer human. Yet my essence was strong. My power, infinite. Everyone wanted me for their own. In the end, it was my brother who ensnared me, using my emotions like barbed wire to surround me. I loved him with all my heart. He was all I had left after the battering we both endured from our family. I allowed him to slip a collar around my neck because by his side was where I wanted to remain.” Her sparkle fades in some spots as she trails off.
“But he used you.”
The sparkles burst into blinding globes with red halos. “He did far worse. He knew he had more power with me at his side. He let something evil take root and it consumed us both. I was his harnessed fire, and he directed me. Some of the things he made me do are unspeakable. No soul should ever know what I’ve endured at his hands.”
“And now?” I ask.
“Now you have breathed in my essence—the essence of thousands of souls through time. Without me, you fall. And without you, I float forever in a semi-existence, neither dead, nor alive.”
“So you’re always a captive? How can you be free?”
“If I knew the answer to that, I would already be free. But we two, you and I, are both captives,” she says. “Together, we stand a chance. Apart, we do not. Our liberation is entwined, like our serpent fires. My power combined with yours gives you control over the Dark, as well as the Winding Steps of Time.”
The significance of her words washes over me, but she reinforces it. “Now you navigate not only time, but the Eternal Womb from which all of Creation emerges—the Dark. You can control the rate at which time flows, age at your desired pace, and create and shape events, people, all of the manifestations of Life.”
“Are there others like me?” I ask.
“Of course. Together, you create many realities.”
The shadow form condenses and stretches back into a thin strand. “Come now. Let us continue this strange journey we’ve begun.”
I struggle with the meaning of her words, turning them over in my thoughts, rearranging them, trying to make sense out of it all. There is so much I don’t understand. So much about my own ability, and the Dark, that I still need to learn. Maybe Dyal is right. With her, I might be able to navigate it better. There are things she knows that I don’t, and vice versa.
But the one thing I know for sure is that she isn’t going anywhere any time soon. I take the strand in my hands to test the feel. Then I begin to walk.
The walk is a good pace, my feet stepping like a heartbeat, trusting the strand, trusting the Dark and yes, trusting Dyal.
Soon, the darkness begins to lift. I flow into a soft, hazy mist as a light drizzle falls gently onto my skin. I emerge into the light and hear the sounds of people on the other side.
I step out onto the rich dirt of freshly plowed land.
“Mika’Arini,” Pasea says, smiling warmly and dropping her tools.
“Pasea!” I run into her embrace. “Where are we?” I ask when I can finally speak.
She casts a glance around the expansive open fields, a half-erected wall in the distance, and the river’s edge way off to one side. “In a valley. We are not far from our beloved homeland, but far enough away to be safe. We shall begin anew, Mika. We are learning to shield ourselves better. And we are creating stronger forces. The Tablets are safe. We will build new temples, continue to pass on the teachings of our ancestors and the wisdom of our Laws. One day, it will be time for your generation to pass the light of knowledge to those who follow you.”
She points beyond the perfect lines in the earth, toward a newly-forming city, then bends down to reach for her tools again.
I know Haram still leads an army bent on the destruction of an ancient people and their wisdom. I know his bitterness will turn him into the monster he later becomes. Unless things are changed.
But for now, I begin to walk toward this new city. Dhan is in there somewhere, waiting for me. I can feel his energy reaching toward me like arms outstretched. I know that I can rest in those arms, assured that he, Pasea, Atesu, the city, and people like me and the girls at the center, are safe.
At least for now.
* * * * *