BARBARA KISSED Richard’s cheek. “Richard.” His other cheek. “Richard.” His lips. “Richard.”
His eyes flew open. He tensed in an instant of disorientation, then relaxed as he remembered where he was.
“The alarm just rang,” Barbara said apologetically.
A slow smile spread over Richard’s face. “I like your method better than an alarm clock.”
“I hated to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully.” He hadn’t even stirred when the alarm went off, or when she’d gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom.
“It was the company,” he said a bit groggily.
“It was nice, waking up and finding you here,” she said, “then remembering what it was like to fall asleep touching you.”
He pulled her into a fierce embrace and rolled atop her. “This is the way it’s supposed to be between us. The way it was meant to be. The way it’s going to be.”
His intensity spoke as eloquently as his words. As did his sensuous growl as he clamped his arms around her even more tightly. “We should have set the alarm thirty minutes earlier.”
Barbara grinned tauntingly. “What for?”
“We’ll just have to make the most of the few minutes we have,” he said with single-minded determination.
“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Barbara said.
It wasn’t.
Later, propped up on the pillows, she watched Richard dress. He paused between shirt buttons. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” she said with a bittersweet smile. “Something’s right. It’s...the ordinary things.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. “I meant what I said earlier. This is the way it was meant to be.”
Barbara smiled and a mellow silence, filled with the promise of their future, followed. But they could not ignore the present for long.
Richard’s expression was solemn as he wove his fingers between hers.
“I may keep Missy out of school today. I don’t want to put off talking to her until this afternoon, and I don’t think the hour we have before school would be enough.”
“That’s probably a good idea. You don’t want to rush the kind of talk you two need to have. Missy can afford to miss one day of school.”
Richard sighed tiredly. “Do you know how much I wish I could crawl back under those covers and spend the day in bed with you?”
“Sooner or later you’d have to get out of bed and deal with reality. You have to face this.”
His jaw muscle twitched as he nodded grimly, and as he got up from the bed, he moved with a wooden dread.
“I’ll be thinking about you,” Barbara said. “Call me when you get a chance. I’ll make sure they know to put through the call immediately.”
A cursory nod was his only reply.
* * *
BARBARA WAS DISTRACTED all day, waiting to hear from Richard and growing increasingly apprehensive with each passing hour. The afternoon progressed and still there was no news. After school she drove home to continue waiting. And fretting.
The phone rang just after five o’clock.
“Is Missy all right?” she asked frantically as soon as she recognized Richard’s voice.
“She’s fine.”
“When I didn’t hear anything, I was afraid something might have happened. I almost called Dr. Scofield’s office to make sure Missy hadn’t been rushed to the hospital.”
“Don’t you think I would have called if there had been an emergency?”
Barbara’s languid sigh slid through the lines. “I’m sorry. When I didn’t hear anything, I panicked.”
“Missy and I just got home. We spent the day at the beach.”
“The beach?”
“It seemed like the best place to have a heart-to-heart talk.”
“You sound—” She couldn’t decide on a word. Relieved? Ebullient? “How did it go?”
“Very well. But I don’t want to go into it over the phone, and Missy wants to be in on our discussion. Can you come over here?”
“To your house?”
“We would both enjoy the pleasure of your company,” he said with playful formality.
She was still mulling over Richard’s abrupt change of attitude and mood as she rang the Benson doorbell. When he’d left her at 6:00 a.m. he’d been like a man taking the walk from death row to the gas chamber. And now he sounded...relieved wasn’t a strong enough word.
They both came to the door. Richard was smiling. Missy greeted her with a hug before leading her into the family room, the back wall of which was a series of glass panels that overlooked the infamous atrium. Barbara tried not to think about Richard’s interrupted tryst as she sat down next to Missy on the sofa.
Anticipation grew thick in the room, but no one spoke. Barbara spied the pictures of Missy’s baby in the ceramic frames on the coffee table and remembered holding Missy’s hand during the sonogram, then going with Richard to buy the frames.
The silence stretched on. It seemed to Barbara almost as though they were all afraid to breach the volatile silence and yet, at the same time, she sensed that Richard and Missy were as close to bursting with the need to tell her what was going on as she was with curiosity to find out.
Finally, unable to stand the pressure any longer, Barbara turned to Missy with an encouraging smile. “I hear you played hooky today and went to the beach.”
Missy grinned sheepishly. “You won’t tell, will you? I didn’t have any tests today, and I’ll make up all my work.”
“Missy and I wanted to get away for a while,” Richard said. “We’ve always done our best talking and thinking at the beach.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Barbara told Missy in a conspiratorial tone. It was good to have dissipated some of the tension, especially when another prolonged silence ensued.
“Missy and I had a long talk,” Richard said finally. “She understands a lot of things better now.”
Missy concurred with a gentle nod.
“Missy’s reached a very important decision. Missy, do you want to tell her?”
As Missy nodded, her eyes were those of a frightened child, and Barbara was reminded of how young the girl truly was, despite the fact that she was pregnant.
“I’m not ready to be a mother,” Missy said. “I want to be able to go out with my friends, and after high school I want to go to FSU and live in the dorms. Someday, when I’m older and meet the right person, I can get married and have children when I’m ready for them.”
Barbara’s gaze locked meaningfully with Richard’s before she turned her attention back to Missy. “That sounds like a very mature decision, sweetheart.”
“I want to let someone very special adopt my baby.”
Barbara’s heart ached for Missy and the tiny being inside her, but she forced herself not to let Missy see what she was feeling, especially when Missy’s chin quivered. Missy didn’t need sympathy, she needed strength and support.
Missy looked at Richard, who nodded encouragement; then she turned back to Barbara. “I want...you to adopt my baby.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “You and Daddy.”
Blinking back her own tears, Barbara looked questioningly at Richard.
He grinned self-consciously and shrugged. “The cat’s out of the bag, Barbaloo. She knows all about us.”
“Oh,” Barbara said. “Oh-h-h-h.” It was not eloquent, but it was sincere. And it was the only sound she was capable of as she threw her arms around Missy and, rocking her, succumbed to her own tears.
“There’s no one else I’d rather give it to,” Missy said. “You’ll be a good mother. Oh, Ms. Wilson, I’m so glad it could be you.”
Countless minutes passed before their tears were spent and sobs gave way to an occasional sniff. “Do you mind if I talk to your father alone for a moment?” Barbara asked, pulling away slightly.
Grinning, Missy shook her head. “I don’t mind. You guys probably have a lot you need to discuss. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
She sounded so adult and...parental that Barbara couldn’t hold back a smile of pure affection for the teenager as she watched her walk from the room.
Then, suddenly it seemed, Barbara and Richard were alone. For a moment they sat staring at each other like figures in a painting. Then Barbara swallowed. “You told her about us?”
“We’d already talked about everything else. About Christine and...” He paused to collect his thoughts. “We were talking about adoption. Open adoption, where she could meet the adoptive mother, and she said, ‘You know what, Daddy? I wish Ms. Wilson was married.’”
“She said that?”
Richard nodded. “It floored me, too. When I had recovered from the surprise, I asked her why, and she said, ‘Because then she could adopt my baby.’”
He smiled so sweetly that Barbara felt a brush of fresh moisture on her cheeks as she smiled back at him. Although they were close enough to touch hands if they’d reached for each other, he seemed much too far away.
“She said,” he continued, “that you understood what a mother was supposed to be, and that you wanted children for the right reasons, and that if you were married, you could adopt her baby.”
Barbara was too overcome by emotion to speak.
Richard continued. “Well, it had been a day for truth and revelation, so it seemed natural to say, ‘I didn’t just know Barbara in high school. We were in love. And when we met each other again, we realized that we still care about each other, and I’ve asked her to marry me.’”
Barbara swallowed. “Wh-what did she say?”
“She was surprised.”
“I’ll bet.”
He laughed. “She wanted to know if you’d said yes. And then there was a lot of hugging and some mention of the fact that you’d be her stepmother, and then the subject of adoption came up again. She asked if I thought you’d want to adopt the baby, and if I would agree to it if you did.”
Barbara drew in a ragged breath. Her chest felt tight. “And what did you say?”
“I told her I was pretty sure you’d be delighted by the idea.” He waited for some reaction, then asked, “Aren’t you?”
Barbara forced herself to reply calmly. “You know how I feel about Missy’s baby.”
Richard chuckled nervously. “Does that mean we’re going to be parents?”
“That depends on you.” She was afraid—afraid to believe it might really be happening. Afraid to believe that Richard could want it as much as she.
“Me?”
“Yesterday you found the prospect of a baby in the house pretty daunting.”
“It’s my grandchild, Barbara. My flesh and blood. Do you think I could turn him away?”
“Not turning a child away is not exactly the same as wanting one. Parenthood is teamwork, Richard, like marriage. I won’t settle for anything less than a full, participating partner.”
She followed his gaze to the pictures in the baby blue ceramic frames, and caught the brightness of tears in his eyes before he blinked them away. “I’ve gotten used to the little guy’s face,” he said. “I don’t want to miss out on watching him grow up.”
“It would have to be an adoption in the truest sense. We’d be his parents and Missy would be his sister. Missy would have to understand that.”
“She understands. We talked about that for some time. She thinks it’s the very best solution. And so do I.”
His gaze met hers steadfastly. “It just feels right, Barbara. I missed a lot of the joy and wonder of parenthood the first time around. This time I’m more ready for it, emotionally, financially, every which way.”
“You’re sure?” she asked, still absorbing the full implications of the situation, allowing herself to hope.
“This time, I’d be sharing the experience with someone I love. Besides—” He grinned. “Missy’s going to be going off to school. The baby you and I have together will need a playmate around.”
“The baby you and I have?”
His gaze was penetrating. “Do you think I could marry you, knowing how much you want to have a child, and deny you that experience?”
Barbara was trembling. “I didn’t think...I couldn’t bring it up when you were so involved with Missy’s problem, but I didn’t really think you would want to start all over again with a baby.”
“And you were going to marry me anyway?”
“I spent too many years without you not to appreciate being with you,” she said, then paused briefly to draw in a fortifying breath. “Before you came back into my life, I’d already come to terms with the fact that I’d never bear a child.”
Her eyes met his with unwavering intensity. “I’d rather spend the rest of my life with you, being your wife and Missy’s stepmother, than living without you or a child.”
“And now you’re going to have it all.”
Barbara was too filled with joy to sit still another moment. Rising, she held out her arms. “Do you think the woman who’s going to have it all could start with a hug? Because—” she succumbed to a sob of pure emotion “—I could sure use one.”
Richard rose, spread his arms and said with a flourish, “Come to papa, sweetheart!”
“Oh, Richard!” she said, burying her face against his chest, packing into those two words, a joyous expletive and the breathless pronouncement of his name, love and hope and expectation enough to last a lifetime.
“Better?” Richard asked after holding her for a long moment.
“Mmm,” Barbara said. “It just needs one thing to make it perfect.”
“What’s that?”
“Missy.”
“Is that all?” he asked, then shouted with full paternal authority, “Missy! Get your tail in here. Right now!”
The teenager was there in an instant, wide-eyed and apprehensive. His voice softened as he smiled at her. “Your new mother wants a three-way hug.”
Missy ran to them and threw an arm across each of their shoulders. They teetered and swayed as a single entity, clinging to one another, supporting one another.
“This is a family thing, isn’t it?” Missy asked.
“Yes,” Barbara and Richard said in unison, and then laughed.
“I like it,” Missy said. “A lot.”
“So do I, sweetie,” Barbara said, her eyes meeting Richard’s above Missy’s head. “So do I.”