“Great,” I said to the empty room. There was nothing to do except wait for him to come back because no way was I leaving without some kind of resolution.
I folded my hands in my lap and sat down on the sofa. My eyes snagged on Kai’s bed.
I looked away.
Looked back.
It was a really big bed. Extremely comfy looking. I eyed it, gauging precisely how comfy. Thought about testing it out, since I was stuck here anyway.
I headed over to the kitchen first, grabbed a paper towel and doused it in hot water. I’d been barefoot all this time and my feet were filthy. I cleaned them off and threw the wad of paper in the trash.
Biting my lip, I snuck toward the bed. I paused a moment at its foot, then launched myself onto it, arms outstretched. Yowza, was it relaxing. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too hard, not too soft. It was baby bear’s ultimate bed. I rolled over onto my back, enjoying the way I sank into it the perfect amount. It must have been one of those memory foam mattresses because it molded itself around me, swaying gently thanks to the massive hammock.
My, a girl could get used to this.
Shaking dangerous thoughts from my head, I sat up reluctantly and immediately felt a familiar weight knocking me back down against the mattress’ fluffy perfection.
Kai lay over me, propped up on one elbow. “I love you.” His voice was hard, his eyes burning with intensity. He pressed me into the bed.
I blinked. Stupidly. “I know.”
“The ritual is going to work.” I heard the absolute conviction in his voice and understood that his anger didn’t overpower his love. That we were going to be fine.
Dumb boys and their inability to articulate actual emotions. As much as I would have liked to hear him say that, I could tell from the look on his face that those three words were as much as I was getting out of him. “Are you still mad?”
Kai hesitated. “Yes.” He rolled onto his back.
I took it as my cue to leave.
His arms wrapped around me and nestled me into his side. “Stay.” It wasn’t a question. I would have bristled but he looped his finger into one of my ringlets and tugged gently. “Please.”
It was so killing him to say that word. Which didn’t endear him to me. But the accompanying tender look dissolved my brain into swoony mush.
Mostly mush. I still felt a core of deep resentment at how he’d treated me the last couple of months. How I’d allowed myself to be treated. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to open my mouth and tell him everything that had been wrong with his behavior. Our behavior.
I tried. I thought them silently. If you’d been mad, you should have respected me enough to talk to me. Not just use me as a hook up. Not make me feel like crap. I even progressed to mouthing the words. Until I finally got the courage to turn my head, look at Kai—and feel my resolve crumble. What if I broke what little connection we’d re-established? What gave me the right to be that selfish when, now more than ever, we needed to be in sync?
Persephone had been selfish and look where it had gotten her.
I was better than that. It could wait.
We lay there, not speaking, not even kissing. Just Kai playing with my hair and keeping me cuddled against him. Which was not great, but at least felt like we’d achieved a tentative level of all right. Maybe not the giddiness of the day we’d declared our love for each other, because there was still too much hurt on both our parts, but hopefully enough new closeness to get us through the battle with the rest of our lives to achieve Hannah-and-Pierce glowiness.
I lay my hand over his heart, feeling its steady beat, and the soft rise and fall of his chest.
“Happy belated birthday, Goddess.” Kai kissed the top of my head and my chest tightened. He hadn’t called me by my pet name since we’d learned of Persephone’s betrayal. “I got you a present, you know.”
I rolled over, hoping the delighted grin on my face would extend to real joy in my heart. “Really? Well, hand it over. Don’t waste more time.”
He laughed and the sound shot straight to my toes. God, had I missed knowing how much I amused him.
“I already did. I let Festos and Theo live even though I wanted to fling them off you while you were dancing.”
“That’s not a present, you caveman.” I smacked him. “I knew you were at the club. Big coward, not facing me.”
“I expected you to find me.”
I gagged at the stupendous arrogance. That’s what I got for dating a god. “I tried.” There was a lot Kai didn’t know. And I realized that I’d better catch him up.
To say that Kai was displeased—about my visions, me constantly hearing “All You Need Is Love”, Festos coming with us to do a cleansing ritual while we held off all the minions in existence—would not accurately describe the glowery scowl of doom that seemed permanently etched on his face.
I decided not to mention my belief that I was no longer the Goddess of Spring and more the Goddess of Bah, Who Needs That Silly Season Anyhow?
We needed to get back to Festos’ and speak with him and Theo. But I wasn’t leaving without my present. I poked Kai. “If I am psychically intuiting my imminent death, then this would be a great time to give me my gift.”
Kai looked at me with both fondness and frustration. I could live with that. He leaned over to reach under the bed. I enjoyed the view of his back muscles rippling in the process. When he rolled back up, he held a poorly gift-wrapped box out to me.
I took it and frowned. “It’s wrapped in Kleenex.”
He shrugged. “Wrapping is wrapping.”
“And duct tape.”
Another shrug. He really didn’t get it.
But there was a present of some sort under there, so I ripped into it with nails, teeth, and a bit of viney light, eventually prying off the lid.
Inside was a bright red T-shirt with the word Phospherocious spelled out in glittery silver letters. I stared blankly at it.
“It’s because all your power names suck,” he explained.
I still didn’t get it.
“You come up with the worst names for your light.” Kai grinned, excitedly. “Then I thought, why not combine the word ‘phosphorus’ from the Ancient Greek for ‘bearer of light’ with ‘ferocious’, because when you wield your power you get all kick-ass. Which is hot. So you’re phospherocious.”
He sat back and waited expectantly for me to say something.
I stared at the shirt again. “You got me a T-shirt with a made up superpower name for my birthday?”
His grin faltered. “Was that wrong?”
“Are you kidding me?” I screeched. “Polar opposite of wrong!” I bounced up and down on the bed to appropriately display my enthusiasm for this most awesome of gifts.
Kai’s eyes flared at the sight of all my soft jiggling bits.
I stopped and leaned forward. “Kai?”
His face broke into a wolfish grin. “Yes?”
I was suddenly very conscious of how short my dress was and how very close my boyfriend was. “Got a pair of sweats I can borrow?” His crestfallen face made me laugh. “I want to try on the T-shirt, but not over this dress.”
Kai looked horrified. “I don’t own sweats.”
“Oh, whatever.”
Kai grumbled, but he rooted around in one of his cupboards and pulled out a pair of jeans. I motioned for him to turn around.
He leaned back against his elbows with a look of unholy glee.
Not fazed in the least, I shimmied into the jeans while still wearing the dress. I had to roll them up and use the belt already conveniently threaded through the loops, but they stayed put.
I wasn’t wearing a bra, though, and I wasn’t giving Kai his own personal peep show right now. We had to get back to Fee’s. Instead, I did the most awkward maneuver—pulling the T-shirt over my head to cover me, and then wiggling out of the dress before finally stuffing my arms into the shirtsleeves.
Kai gave a resigned sigh.
I looked down at it in sheer delight. It rocked. Even though the cotton was thick, it had that gone-through-a-billion-washings softness to it. And it fitted me to a T, pun intended. It also went very well with the cuff Hannah had given me. “I think the silver glitter brings out my eyes,” I said, beaming down at myself.
I was so phospherocious, it was insane.
“I like you in my clothes,” Kai said.
I grinned and launched myself at him. “I love you.”
Kai yanked me close by my shirt front. “You and me? We’re unstoppable.”
And in that moment, I chose to believe that we were.
***
I tried valiantly to remember that feeling later in the evening, as Kai and I faced Festos and Theo. Their club gear was gone. They were back in their regular casual clothes, and looking grim.
Kai had brought me back a few hours earlier. We’d updated the guys, and waited anxiously while the two went to Eleusis to check out the new ward for themselves.
“There’s no way to break it,” Theo said.
“You’re positive? You checked it from every angle?” Losing the war because we were essentially locked out of the ritual location? Lamest defeat ever, and not going to happen.
“Trust us.” Festos sank onto the chair beside me. He moved more slowly and, I could tell, painfully, from his night of dancing without a cane. He used it now and it clattered to the floor as he lay his head down on the table. He had a smear of dirt on his cheek. “We examined it thoroughly.”
I rubbed his back.
Festos sighed. “More to the right.” He extended his left leg out, gingerly flexing his twisted foot.
Theo gave him a concerned look but kept quiet. They’d had the argument about Festos using his cane enough times. Theo straddled a chair. “Not being able to take the ward down is not the same as not getting through it. There could be … a back door.”
“That’s brilliant!” I shouted at the same time Kai said, “Absolutely not.”
“Told you,” Festos murmured to Theo.
Confused, I turned to Kai. Festos bumped his shoulder blade against my hand, so I continued the massage. “What’s wrong?”
Kai waved at Theo. “Tell her.”
Theo plucked his glasses off and polished them. “Zeus and Hades placed their ward pretty much butt up against ours. We can’t get through theirs to get to ours. Therefore, we can’t get to the ritual location.”
“Okay.” Still didn’t get it.
Checking to make sure the lenses were clean, Theo put his glasses back on. “The wards surround an area that was once the Temple of Demeter—”
My hands froze, mid shoulder rub. “No way.”
“Told you,” Kai said to Theo.
Theo put on his let’s-be-reasonable voice. “It’s our only hope. Eleusis is like Demeter’s ground zero. She still holds power over that place and if anyone can get us inside, it’s her.”
That may have been true, but it was irrelevant. “At what price?”I yelled. “Felicia already tried to kill me once!”
“Ow! Watch it.” Festos shifted beneath my hands. My massaging had turned to painful excavation as I dug the heels of my palms into his back.
“She’s not going to try and kill you,” Theo said.
Kai made a sound halfway between disbelief and disgust.
Theo rounded on him. “Shut it. You’ve been useless and basically MIA the last couple months. You don’t get a say now.”
“I do when Sophie’s safety is involved.” Kai’s voice had gone scary quiet.
Theo went for his chain.
I held up my hands, not wanting them to start brawling. Again. “Enough.” I turned to Theo. “Why do you think she’d help us? The kindness of her heart?”
“Power.”
“Hell, no!”
“You and Kai take out the big bads and let her rule like Persephone originally promised,” Festos said. “There’s no other way.”
“There has to be.” I jumped to my feet, my mind working furiously. There had to be some other god we could turn to. “What about Jack? Or Pierce?” Anyone but her.
For my entire life, my adoptive mother, Felicia, had made me feel unwanted. She had shipped me off to Hope Park when I was six and spent the next ten years with minimal interaction, and maximum exuding of disappointment, at my existence.
Then I’d learned I was Persephone. How amazing was that? And what was the one thing that even I knew about her? Her mother Demeter had loved her so much that she roamed the earth in grief when Hades ordered Persephone’s abduction.
That’s when I’d started to dream of the day that Demeter would come back and find me. I knew there had to be some reason she hadn’t shown up. Knew that she would get to me as soon as she could, and shower me with love.
Two months ago, when I’d realized that Felicia actually was Demeter? That she’d tried to kill Persephone, lied to me, not cared at all about me, and put me at risk by pulling me from the one place where she knew I was safe? The one place where my friends actually loved me? And then for her grande finale, she’d gleefully dropped the bombshell that Kai and I had yet to recover from?
I was not inclined to crawl back to her and ask for help.
I scratched at my arms. “I swore I wouldn’t. To her face.”
“Really?” Theo asked. “This is going to come down to your pride?”
“This is going to come down to her having been a cow to me for my entire life. She doesn’t get to win. Who knows what she’d do with that kind of power?”
“Probably not much,” Festos said. “Demeter has always liked humans. She’s not going to hurt them now.”
How naive. “Yeah, she will. She said as much before. She’ll do whatever is opposite to what I want.”
At which point Kai and Festos jumped in, all three of us arguing.
Theo’s fist slammed down on the table, shocking us all into silence. “I gave up my powers for you. My immortality for you.” His voice was so cold I broke out in goosebumps. He advanced on me steadily. Just as steadily as I retreated.
I was caught in the fury of his gaze. I’d never seen Theo like this and he was scaring me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kai rise. Festos locked an iron grip on him, keeping him in place.
Theo’s voice rose to a loud roar. “So maybe you could just suck it up?!”
I opened my mouth to fight back. But out of shock, or maybe an iota of wisdom, my brain took a moment to think.
This sucked. I hadn’t asked to be saddled with this responsibility. To save anyone. But since it had happened, I’d stood up and shouted down anyone who doubted me. Every single time. Was I really going to retreat into whiney teendom now? Yeah, I wanted to pout and scream, but I felt the weight of Theo’s words deep in my bones.
I would rather stick knives into my eyes than go back to Felicia, offer her everything she wanted, and face her smugness. Along with whatever other hurts she would force me to endure before oh so graciously accepting my offer. I felt sick at the thought.
I sank back down beside Kai. Theo was right. And I was so very very wrong. If I had to come back and curl into the fetal position for a few hours afterward, well, I’d survive. So all I said was, “Yes, Theo. I can. Let’s go see Felicia.”
Which was the correct answer given the situation, but did nada to ratchet down the tension in the room. I could tell that Theo was still pissed at me. And at Kai. Who returned the sentiment in spades as he yanked his arm free of Festos’ grip with a fierce glower at both of the guys.
Festos’ fingers twitched. He obviously wanted to unleash his fire, as he pointedly stared Kai down.
A cold smile spread over Kai’s face. His fingertips emitted a black glow. “Go for it,” he said.
“Stop,” I said, shoving at each of them in turn as I made my way to the kitchen. I wasn’t mad at anyone, but I was feeling prickly. Ashamed and guilty where Theo was concerned, and still cautious with Kai. He had admitted that he was still mad, which made me nervous about doing the ritual. And, honestly? I was fed up with him being pissed. There was a small, hard festering ball of resentment in the middle of my chest.
I flung the fridge door open. “What’s the best way to approach Felicia?” I grabbed a small hunk of white cheddar, ripped off the plastic wrap, and bit into it.
Festos limped over to me, his cane thumping with each step.
He shut the fridge door. “Honeybunch?”
“Yes, Fee?” I smiled at my friend as protein flooded my body and kept me from going postal.
Festos boffed me across the top of the head in a stinging smack. “You’ve never heard of a phone? Next time, don’t disappear from your own birthday party leaving us searching the place like crazy people. We practically got our favored status revoked.”
“Ow!” I rubbed my head.
Festos’ eyes narrowed. “Pull a stunt like that again and you’ll really understand the meaning of the word ‘hurt’. Also, you’d better apologize to Hannah when you see her.”
“Huh. She noticed I was gone?” My tone was indifferent but my heart was not. I focused my attention on Festos’ cupboards, rummaging around until I found a box of crackers to pull out. When I faced Festos again, I held the box to my chest, as if holding it tight enough could keep my heart from splintering because I missed Hannah so much.
Festos’ expression softened. “She’s in love.”
I simultaneously smiled, shrugged, and nodded. She was. That was good. What was I supposed to say?
Festos watched me for a moment, but he didn’t push it. He limped over to Theo and placed his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Can I keep Sophie tonight?” he asked. “I need to run some tests and figure out how to sustain her power. Can she go see Demeter tomorrow?”
Theo thought it over, then nodded his agreement. Guess I wasn’t getting a say in this.
I was about to head into my bedroom and strip off my superpower T-shirt and Kai’s jeans in exchange for something loose and stretchy, when Kai stopped me.
“Admit it,” he said to Festos, gesturing at my T-shirt. “You covet. And hate the fact that I’m so cool and clever.”
Festos gave a dismissive shrug, but he did glance longingly at the shirt.
Kai smirked and motioned for me to go. “That’s all.”
“I admitted nothing,” Fee retorted.
“You want a made up superpower name?” Theo asked Festos.
“Have you not met him?” asked Kai.
I stuffed my hands in the pockets of Kai’s jeans and looked between them. Kai was right. Of course Festos wanted a shirt like mine. But why would Kai, his kinda-enemy, know that?
“Go.” Festos ordered me out, pointing toward my room.
I went. But it didn’t stop my curiosity. I absolutely did not understand Kai and Fee.
***
“Ready,” I said as I re-entered the living room, a few minutes later, in exercise clothes.
“Follow me,” Festos said, standing by the door. He exited the apartment and I scrambled after him with Kai in my wake.
Festos took us down to the second floor. It was an open, unfinished space, like all the floors except the top one. In one corner, Festos had set up his work space, consisting of a large stainless steel table flanked by heavy, metal floor-to-ceiling cabinets.
A bank of large light therapy boxes dominated the middle of the room. They were stacked three high and fifteen wide, their white light angled slightly downward.
“Detonate,” Festos instructed me.
I looked between him and Kai, anxious.
Kai smiled. “I’m harder to destroy than that.”
“More’s the pity,” Festos said.
“Brace yourselves.” I sent out a full body shockwave, feeling my usual utter exhaustion at the end. On the upside, a quick glance showed that I hadn’t destroyed my friends, which boded well for the big day. Yay!
“Again,” Festos said.
I shot out a puny vine of light that fluttered and disappeared.
Festos nodded and motioned for me to go stand in front of the wall of light boxes. After much trial and error, we discovered that I required ten minutes of light box rays to recharge enough for another full body shockwave.
This was great to know, but I had no clue how Festos would translate that knowledge and the light energy into something I could use. Kai and I would have every last minion attacking us from the second we showed up to perform the ritual, until Festos finished cleansing the location.
Not to mention, that they weren’t going to stop trying to kill us and stand there respectfully while we chanted. We’d have to hold them off then as well.
We spent the rest of the day on the second floor. I fired my power any way I could while Festos paced around me making notes and taking measurements, talking under his breath.
Occasionally, Festos would wander over to his work area and pull something out. Sheets of sterling silver, buffers, soldering irons, jewelers’ saws, wire, lighting tubes, everything ended up tossed on the table.
My eyes slid to Kai, sprawled against the wall the whole time. We may have made up, but neither of us was the type to just move on. There was still all this lingering baggage between us, and I wanted to speed up time to a point when all that festering emotion had finally worked its way through our systems.
Kai met every look with an encouraging smile. He also kept me fueled with food and water. On the surface we were great. In my gut, I still felt that we weren’t.
I was acutely aware of the disconnect.
Eventually, I really had nothing left, light boxes be damned. Sweat matted my hair and my body felt rubbery with exhaustion.
Festos rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes blurry. “Scamper off. You’re done for the day.”
I shuffled over to his work table. “Can I stick around and see what you do?”
“No.” As if that wasn’t pointed enough, he gestured toward at the stairwell door with his cane.
“He’s worried that if we see what he does, we’ll realize any half wit could do it,” Kai said, pushing to his feet.
“Or you,” Festos shot back.
“Nah, I’m just charmingly decorative,” Kai said, totally unfazed.
I was too tired for these two to get into it. Visions of pillows danced in my head. I tugged on Kai’s hand and started walking. “Good night, Fee. And thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, already lost perusing his supplies.
“I hate your friends,” Kai said, as we headed back up the stairwell.
I patted his cheek. “I know, godling. But you’ll make nice for my sake.”
Kai hmmmd noncommittally.
I pulled open the stairwell door on the top floor and we stepped into the foyer outside the apartment.
“This is where I say good-night,” Kai said.
I blinked. “Oh.” I’d assumed he’d stay over. Just to sleep. My body ached to feel contact with him, to reaffirm our connection. We needed more bubbles of just the two of us—like we’d been back at his place. Time to breathe and be, without the world pushing in on us. But maybe he didn’t feel the same way?
My brain went into furious over-analyze mode.
Kai smiled gently, as if he could tell what I was thinking. “You need your sleep if you’re going to face Felicia. If I stay, that’s not going to happen.” His voice dropped to a low rumble there that did lovely shivery things to my insides.
“Ohhh,” I said in an entirely different tone of voice. One with waaay more enthusiasm. I gave him my best wide-eyed adorable look. Kiss the cute girl, I thought.
Kai tugged me closer. “That’s not gonna work on me,” he mumbled against my mouth.
“What about this?” I kissed him for all I was worth.
Hah hah. Putty. In. My. Hands.
Kissing Kai had beat out eating as my favorite activity.
“Evil wench,” he said several moments later, his eyes dark.
I smirked, feeling highly smug. This was teasing and flirty and positively normal.
“But one of us has to be noble enough to put what’s best for the battle first,” he said with a self-righteous expression and disappeared.
I laughed and reached for the door knob but before I could turn it, his arms grabbed me from behind and swung me around. Kai planted one last hotter-than-hell kiss on me that flared every single nerve ending I had to life, screaming “whee haw!” I actually staggered back when he released me.
Hot or feverish? Chemistry or overcompensation to try and pretend it’s all okay between you? I refused to let my Persephone voice poison me with whispers.
“Sophie.”
I snapped back to attention, and Kai who now took his turn looking smug. “Sweet dreams, Goddess.” He disappeared again. This is what couples did. It was good. It was healthy.
So why where my hands trembling?
I entered the apartment and stopped, remembering that it was just Theo and me. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he said, his arms full of books. He began to stack them on a slender bookcase.
This sucked. I ran through a million things to say and discarded them all. “My behavior before was self-indulgent and childish. It won’t happen again.”
Theo shrugged and shelved another book. “It might. Felicia is a total bitch.”
I barked out startled laughter. Theo turned my way with a small smile, which made everything okay. “Love you, Rockman.”
He tilted his head toward my room. “Go to bed, Magoo.”
So I did. I barely managed to change into my pjs and crawl into bed before a deep but content fatigue stole over me, and I fell into much-needed sleep.