Reason 29:

He’s a disgusting, filthy pig who
thinks he can just buy and sell anything,
including me. But unlike Sterling Lane,
I’m a human being. I have feelings.
He can’t just expect me to come running
when he snaps his fingers.

And I’m certainly not going to sleep with him.

How do you prepare for a summons like this? How do you arm for war on uncertain terrain against an enemy you wish you didn’t have to fight?

I spent at least an hour staring at my closet, wondering which of my turtleneck sweaters made me look the most severe and was therefore least appropriate for a night out with an obnoxiously attractive boy. I’d settled on a black ensemble—a baggy black turtleneck paired with slacks I was pretty sure I’d inherited from my grandmother.

Unfortunately, Kendall intervened. She walked into our room with her phone pressed against her ear, nodding so vigorously I thought her head might pop right off.

“You are so lucky you called me,” she said into the receiver, eyeing me up and down. “Sister Harper couldn’t be showing less skin if she was wearing two habits.”

My temper flared. I held out my hand. “Give me the phone, Kendall.”

She reluctantly complied.

“This is absurd, Sterling. I’m not doing this.”

“Remember our deal,” he said. “Tonight, you have to listen to me, and I’m extending that authority to Kendall for the next ten minutes. Let her help you.”

“Help me with what, exactly?” But I knew the answer as I saw Kendall pull a dress out of her closet. To her credit, it was something I might have picked out if I wore cocktail dresses—a simple black sheath dress, not too short, but not exactly long, either. I shook my head, momentarily forgetting that Sterling wouldn’t be able to see my refusal. “Absolutely not,” I told her. “I’m not wearing that.”

“A promise is a promise,” he said. “Don’t forget I made one, too. And I’ll make another one: I promise you’ll enjoy it.” There was a click on the line. He was gone. I handed the phone to Kendall, then snatched it back and hit the redial button. It went straight to Sterling’s voicemail.

It. What did he mean by it?

There was only one reason a boy lured you into his bedroom and closed the door. Sterling’s own words.

“What’s he up to?” I asked as Kendall thrust the dress at me. It really wasn’t that bad; it was just the principle of the matter.

“Honestly? I don’t know. But I don’t think I’d tell you if I did. It’s so romantic.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” I plopped down on my bed and buried my face in my hands. “And what about coercion is romantic?”

“It’s not coercion, silly. You can say no. But—and I can say this because I’m with Parker now, but back when I was interested in Sterling—” She lowered her voice and I looked up, more curious than I’d care to admit. “I gave up because he just wasn’t like this. You know, his second-date rule. I mean, Parker was scared to commit, too, but that was all a misunderstanding. Most people don’t put it all out there in the open so you know where you stand, like Sterling does. Trust me on that one.” There was a shimmer of moisture in her eyes, so I awkwardly patted her hand. “Parker and I wasted months with our stupid games.”

I couldn’t really argue with her, and not just because of my lack of experience in this arena. I’d seen it happen around me enough times to know the truth. And I knew I could wear my turtleneck. Or I could move out of my comfort zone a little and try something new. “If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working. There are plenty of nice guys in the world. Guys who don’t play these demented games. Why would I want to go on a date with a boy like him?”

She tugged on my turtleneck, so I finally cooperated and pulled it up over my head, dismissing my own mortification at changing in front of her because I was fully unwilling to interrupt this conversation.

“Because you’ve already done it a zillion times,” she said, talking to me like I was slow. The same way I’d always talked to her. “You are so blind. You’re the only person he sits with for all of lunch. He always sits near you in class. He’s already broken his rules just like he made you break a bunch of yours. The two of you are just—bizarrely, diametrically opposite, but that makes you fit together somehow.”

It was an uncomfortable feeling, sitting there realizing Kendall had a point. Perhaps all along Sterling had been toying with me, or maybe the two of us had unwittingly fallen into this disaster together. I was so taken aback that I didn’t fight her as she slid the dress over my head.

“How did you know about my Rules?” I asked, a little stunned.

“I have ears, you know.” She looked me up and down. “I’m not pulling your pants off. There are limits to friendship, Harper.”

It was a foreign word. Foreign concept. I just obeyed. Even though I hadn’t touched them since my grandmother’s funeral, I obediently accepted the black heels she dug out of the back of my closet. I put on sensible shoes, though, and slid the heels into my bag. It was large enough to hold the shoes as well as two books. In case I got bored.

“You look really pretty,” Kendall said, smiling as she surveyed the fruits of her labor. “He won’t know what hit him. Use that to your advantage, since you’re walking into unknown terrain. Now, do you know where you’re supposed to go?”

I shook my head.

She slipped Sterling’s note back into my hand. The Saint James Hotel downtown—the fancy place all the über-rich parents stayed when they were in town. Room 804 was scrawled across the bottom in Sterling’s lazy, boyish handwriting.

The blood in my veins froze in place. My heart had been replaced with a solid block of ice.

“I’m not going to a hotel room.”

“Yes. You. Are.” Kendall pushed me toward the door, leaning into it with all her might. Finally, I took a step forward, throwing her so off-balance on her ridiculous platforms that she almost tumbled forward onto the floor.

“I promised him a favor,” I said. “This is too much.”

“One hell of a favor,” she said, grinning. “You used to be so difficult, Harper. Well, you still are, but in a new and improved way. He isn’t playing games with you this time. This is it—the big gesture. And before you jump to conclusions—this isn’t like that. He spent way too much time chipping away at your defenses just to try to seduce you in a hotel room. Live a little. See what happens.”

“I’ll tell you what’s gonna happen,” I told her. “I’m gonna rip his head off. I can’t believe he’d ruin everything like this.”

At that, Kendall gave me a sympathetic smile. “Give him a chance,” she said. “I’ll bet he comes through.”

I slung my bag up over my shoulder and started walking, but with every step, my thoughts cycled back to the basic insult in what Sterling had done. I couldn’t be ordered up like a pizza—to a hotel room, no less. Of all the disrespectful, condescending little Sterling games, this was far and away the most despicable. His curt summons cheapened what we’d had—the times we’d been alone together behind closed doors. In the headmaster’s office, he’d professed to care about me. I’d let myself believe, in a remote corner of my brain, that he meant it—that he viewed me as a person deserving of his care and respect. But now that tentative hope was shattered. Underneath all of my justifiable outrage, the truth of our situation was what hurt most of all.

If I ever spent a night with him—or with anyone—it would be a decision arrived at together. Discussed and weighed and measured, with defined parameters and commitments. Never like this—at the whim of that spoiled, gorgeous boy who thought that his dazzling smile and a few mumbled words of affection addressed to my father would be enough to win me. The mere idea of it made my blood boil.

That little bit of rage was all it took to switch me into overdrive. I was going to tell Sterling Lane exactly what I thought of him and his sadistic games. I hurtled out the door of my dorm, walking at a pace that would smoke most professional speed walkers. As I went, I rehearsed my speech in my mind, the scathing way I’d rebuke him for even conceiving of this favor in return for his paltry aid. He’d done nothing I couldn’t have done myself.

It was a ten-block walk to the hotel, and I flew across town in less than fifteen minutes—including brief pauses at two traffic lights.

A bellhop held the door open as I approached. I poured right in, charging through the baroque, overdecorated lobby, brimming with spindly antique chairs and even more brittle patrons.

I pressed the elevator button.

While I waited for the elevator, I slid the heels out of my bag and put them on. I would look dignified, if nothing else, while I made Sterling Lane regret the day he assumed too much. Sure, those two times we’d kissed had been incredible, and the second time, I’d been the one to ratchet it all into overdrive. Perhaps that was why he thought I would be receptive to this. Ultimately, there were probably worse things in the world than an evening with Sterling Lane. In the attraction category, at least, it would be hard to do better. It wasn’t like I was religious or had some other reason to wait. And I was curious—in a purely academic way, of course.

But never under the auspices of this favor—that was coercion. Never under his thumb. Never. Never. Never. I would be his openly acknowledged equal or I wouldn’t play this game at all.

I stood there for a moment, weighted down by my oversize bag and fully disgusted by the turn my thoughts were taking. What if I was wrong? What if this was some grand gesture, like Kendall suggested? The thought set my nerve endings on fire. No matter what happened in the next five minutes, there was a very good chance I’d spontaneously combust.

The elevator doors opened, but I let them close again. I watched my reflection in the shiny copper doors. I ran my fingers through my hair and adjusted the neckline of the dress. No matter what Sterling threw at me, I was ready to face it. He was the one who should be on his guard, not me. I’d more than demonstrated that I would retaliate tenfold for any wrongs committed against me.

I pressed the button again, took a deep breath, and stepped inside. The antique machinery climbed so slowly I could have pulled myself up faster with a pulley and a hand crank. My shoes pinched. The dress was too loose. And too tight. In all the least appropriate places. I should have put on less makeup. It looked like I was trying too hard, thanks to Kendall.

Room 804 was all the way at the end of the hallway, marked with a shiny gold plaque. It must have had some view of the river and the hills beyond. It was the only door at that end of the building, so either there was a storage closet sucking up space or it was a massive suite of rooms. Only Sterling would book something so ridiculous.

I knocked on the door and it opened immediately.

Sterling Lane was standing there. Hair trimmed, shirt starched, slacks pressed. Tie front and center, straight in a Windsor knot.

“You got dressed up for nothing,” I told him. “You have grievously misjudged this situation. Meeting in a hotel room? Let’s get one thing straight, Mr. Manipulator. I’m not sleeping with you. I don’t care what you say about me.”

I could tell he was surprised by the way his hand flew to the knot of his tie, adjusting it like it could get any tighter.

“Blackmailing dates?” a deep voice murmured. “A new low, even for you.”

I jumped, and Sterling grinned a crocodile smile.

“Hardly,” he replied. “She’s elevated me to new heights.” He took a step back, grabbing my hand.

“You never fail to entertain, sweetheart,” he whispered as he towed me into the room.

It was a living room—two uptight little white couches surrounded a narrow coffee table. In the corner, an older man in a crisp business suit was sitting at a table typing on a laptop. I’d stumbled into an entirely different scenario than I’d been envisioning.

The man looked up, his gaze traveling down to our clasped hands. He was way too interested in us for my comfort.

“Well, well, could it be it has a heart?” the man shot back.

“Grew one just last week, in fact. Maybe there’s hope for you, too.” Sterling pulled me forward. “Harper, the shark in the suit is Uncle Howard. Don’t let his smile fool you—anything you say can and will be used against any future transgressions.”

“You’re still mad about that?” Uncle Howard replied mildly. “Next time you lie about stealing your mother’s car, don’t leave your wallet in the backseat.” His focus shifted to me. “Oh, the stories I could tell, Harper.”

My eyes cut to Sterling in time to see his ears turn pink. It seemed his car prank was in part inspired by his own past.

“Uncle Howard, the New York attorney general?” I asked. My heart started to pound. This couldn’t be happening—good things like that didn’t happen to Harper the Hag. “It’s so nice to meet you. When Sterling told me about you, I looked you up. Your handling of the Landsberg case was nothing short of brilliant.”

“Thought you’d like to meet him. Although when you hear his five-hour replay of that Landsberg case, you might change your mind. Who knew embezzling could be so boring?”

The man rolled his eyes, but with affection rather than true irritation.

“That was so rude,” I whispered.

“Fine,” Sterling said, squeezing my fingers. “I apologize.”

As he said it, the double doors across the room opened and a man strolled through. He was taller than Sterling, but had the same chiseled features and razor-sharp brown eyes. The same wavy brown hair, even if it was speckled with gray. Like Sterling, he clearly missed nothing, and it took a fraction of an instant for his gaze to zero in on me.

“I must be hearing things,” the man said. “Sterling didn’t apologize when he deposited his mother’s car in the Hudson. Either the hotel is incinerating around us or the rehabilitation continues.” He flashed a huge handsome grin that was alarmingly identical to Sterling’s, except lacking the self-satisfied little curl in the corners. “Is this really her? I’ve been looking forward to this, Harper. Can’t believe the changes in him. He’s passing all his classes—even talking about majoring in history. Any other tricks up your sleeve—raise the dead? Levitate?”

I was queasy as all three men turned and looked at me. And I was oh-so-glad I’d worn heels. I felt minuscule standing there with the two of them, and I couldn’t fathom why Sterling had brought me here to play conquering hero when I’d done nothing to rehabilitate Sterling Lane except fight back.

“I’m afraid Sterling drained me of all my powers,” I said, willing my voice not to shake. “I’m fresh out of miracles.”

A cell phone pinged and Admiral Lane glanced at the display. “I need to take this one. I apologize for the interruption. I’ll only be a moment.” He winked at me and I was astounded by the similarity between father and son. “Now that he finally cares what someone thinks, I look forward to watching him squirm. The stories I have to tell. Prepare yourself for seventeen years’ worth of pent-up parental frustration.”

“I look forward to it, sir,” I said. And I meant it.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” Sterling muttered. “Let the three of you amuse yourselves while I hit the bar.”

I didn’t think his father heard the last part, but I couldn’t quite be sure. His father disappeared through the double doors, his posture every bit as crisp as the khaki slacks and white button-down shirt he was wearing.

“I like your dad.”

“Good,” he said. “He likes you, too. I knew he would.”

“Care to tell me what this is all about?” I asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to making fun of you at dinner. But you’ve been a little light on the details of exactly what this favor is.”

“Figured I’d just steamroll you into going along with it.” He hadn’t loosened his grip on my hand, and now he towed me across the room, toward a closed door.

Uncle Howard glanced up from his laptop screen. “Where are you going?”

“The bathroom,” Sterling replied, pushing me through the open door.

“You’re going together?” Uncle Howard was laughing now. And my face went bright red.

“Yep,” Sterling said. “She has aquaphobia.”

Whatever Uncle Howard said in response was muffled by the click of the bathroom door as it slid into place.

Sterling moved closer, and his chest brushed mine. Then he put his hands on my hips, lifting me up onto the vanity. He stood there, right in front of me, planting his hands on either side of me.

He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my face away. “You’re not as hot as you seem to think,” I lied. “You can’t distract me. You have to explain first.”

“How about after?” His lips grazed my neck, and I was about to relent—because honestly, Sterling Lane was inconveniently good at a great number of things. This most of all.

“After what, exactly? Because after that summons, I was pretty sure you expected a lot more than I’m prepared to give right now.”

“I would never do that.” He sounded so shocked as he pulled back and cupped my face in both hands. “Never. My father wanted to meet you. I told him everything about us. How you changed me—changed everything.” He paused. “Sure, it started off as a rivalry thing—God, you pissed me off—but then it changed. I had to show you I could keep up. It wasn’t enough to just know it myself. You were—are—the first big crush of my life.” Sterling looked me straight in the eye as he said it. So confident, so unafraid to just put it all out there, like Kendall had said. “So when I told the admiral, he wanted to meet you. Tonight we have dinner with him and Uncle Howard. My grandmother, too. But I figured next Friday it could be just us. Then we’ll, you know, see where it goes.” He shrugged.

My head was spinning. Sure, I’d known it was a possibility he’d meant what he said in the headmaster’s office. But this was over and above what I’d ever imagined. He’d even invited the attorney general here to meet me. Me. It was the most thoughtful gesture I could ever imagine. My hands pressed themselves flat against his chest, then clutched the fabric of his shirt, wrinkling the freshly pressed cotton. There was a pretty good chance I was never letting go.

“What about no second dates?” I asked.

“You broke your Rules,” he said with a self-satisfied smirk. “And look how great it worked out. You get all this.” He motioned to himself with one hand. “Figured I’d give it a shot.”

“I broke some of them, and only because it was an emergency,” I told him. “I’m still the same. You haven’t changed me. You realize that, right? We’re still a disaster, and I’m pretty sure I still hate you.” But as I said it, my hand broke rank and slid around his neck, guiding his face to mine. “I’m still the same,” I repeated. “I haven’t changed.”

“I’m counting on it,” he said. “All uptight and erratic. Anything less than full-blown Harper and I’m likely to get bored. Let’s say we agree to disagree? All the time, but with a few notable exceptions. Like, say, in bathrooms. Or Parker’s bedroom.”

Those memories were about all I could take. I grabbed his tie, right by that trim little Windsor knot, and yanked him forward. A jolt of adrenaline shot through me when his eyes widened in surprise.

Nothing was as exhilarating as catching Sterling Lane off guard.

I kissed him, curling my hands into his hair until there was no way he was ever getting away. His hands slid around my waist, holding me so close I could barely breathe.

“I’m counting on you for some discreetly dismissed felony charges in the future,” I said. “And some horribly smug little smiles.”

“They’re all yours,” he murmured.

My eyes were closed, but I could still feel his smile as his lips found mine again.

Even though it might seem like I’d given in, that I’d let that lazy, spoiled boy corrupt me, ruin me, I hadn’t. I knew it in my heart. In the way the Rules were back, arranging themselves in balcony seats to watch the remainder of the show.

All but one. Rule 538 was conspicuously absent, and I knew it would stay that way.

Because at the end of the day, changing my mind wasn’t against the Rules. Neither was dating, or being locked in a bathroom at the Saint James Hotel kissing a boy with liquid trouble coursing through his veins. I could still be me, and he could still be him, and we’d figure out what we’d be together.

And I would know.

Because I loathe Sterling Lane.

Every bone in that perfect body.