I’d been afraid before, really afraid. Lost in the forest, stumbling around trying to find my way home. And once, when I was thirteen, all alone and far from home, I’d tripped on a root and ripped open my leg. It was bleeding and it hurt to walk. Somehow my dad found me and carried me home. I asked him how he knew I was hurt and he said he just knew. He said he could see it in his mind. We were that close.
So I understood fear. But nothing like this. I was in a world I didn’t understand, and I knew I was in trouble. If Jacob was really hurt, there would be a story. It wouldn’t be the true story or the full story, but Austin and Jacob would put the full blame on me. And the police would listen. I’d already been told I’d be in big trouble if I got into another fight. They would charge me with assault this time. I’d been told I was old enough for them to put me in jail. And I knew I couldn’t handle that. I could handle the isolation but not being imprisoned. I’d go crazy.
I wanted badly to go to my mom, but the police knew where I lived. And I wanted some advice from my dad, but even if he was awake, I didn’t want to trouble him with this.
So I was alone and on my own in the worst kind of wilderness. It was a whole new kind of fear.
I kept walking. I was now far away from the cemetery and circling back toward the library. I found myself in the little park near the fountain and realized I was looking for someone, anyone, to help me figure this out. And the only person I could think of was Ernest. It took a while, but I found him. He was sitting in an alley with a couple of his drinking buddies, and he waved when he saw me coming.
They were a ratty-looking pack of unshaven men, some toothless and long-haired, but they seemed more like my kind of people than anyone else in this crazy city. I asked Ernest if he could walk with me for a bit. “Sure thing, Cody boy,” he said.
Ernest weaved some as we walked, and I’m sure we looked like an odd pair, but he listened intently to my story. “Jesus, Holy Christ,” he said. “Sounds like you’re up shit creek without a paddle.”
“I can’t go to the apartment,” I said. “And I can’t bring this down on my dad. I don’t know what to do.”
Ernest seemed a little more clear-headed now and asked if I had any money for coffee.
“Sorry, I don’t have a cent.”
“But we need coffee. You and me.”
I didn’t drink coffee, but I needed Ernest, and he sure needed some coffee. I remembered the kid I had met earlier that day. “Okay,” I said. “Sit on this bench and let me see what I can do.”
I started asking people for change. I got a few nasty looks, but quite a few people were generous. It only took me twenty minutes to get over four dollars. I showed Ernest the money.
“That’ll do it,” he said.
We went into a Dunkin’ Donuts shop and I ordered coffee and some donuts. We sat in a booth and I looked around at the other people. None of them looked like they had the problems I had.
“So what can I do to help?” Ernest asked.
“I need a place to stay,” I said. “A place to hide.”
“Okay. I can take care of that. But it ain’t going to be a four-star hotel.”
We lingered in the coffee shop until the manager asked us to leave. Ernest nodded. “I’m used to it, Cody. No big deal. Guess you and I weren’t on the invitation list.” And then he laughed his funny little laugh that usually ended with a long coughing fit.
Our accommodation for the night was an unlocked shed of sorts beneath an outside stairway. Cardboard boxes lined the floor, and there were a couple of old blankets in there. We didn’t go in until the sun had set, and inside it was dark. Very dark. Ernest fell asleep almost instantly. I sat up in the darkness, grieving the loss of my old life, worrying about my fate and, most of all, thinking about my mother and father. It was a long and unhappy night.
Ernest wasn’t in good shape in the morning. “I got a headache. My back hurts and my teeth ache,” he said. “But none of that is new. What about you, young man? What’s next?”
During the night, I’d realized I had to see my parents. “I gotta see my dad,” I said. “I gotta make sure he’s okay. After that, I don’t know.”
“You want me to go with you?”
“No. I need to do this on my own.” I knew that hauling old Ernest along to the hospital would make us stand out, and I couldn’t chance that.
It wasn’t difficult to walk into the hospital, take the back stairs up to the cancer ward and go into my dad’s room without being noticed. My mom was there with him, holding his hand, and she looked worried. When she saw me, she gasped, jumped up and gave me a crushing hug. “Thank God,” she said. My dad was awake and propped up in bed but looking weak. I walked over to him and gave him a hug.
“The police came,” my mom said. “More trouble. They want to question you.”
I explained what had happened and said I was sorry for not coming home. My dad watched me gravely as I told my story. “What should I do?” I asked, looking at Mom and then at Dad.
My dad motioned me nearer. I leaned in close to him. I don’t know if it was the cancer or the drugs he had been given, but something had given him a hollow look. His eyes were glazed, and he was breathing funny.
“Cody,” he said, pausing to take two deep breaths. “You have to leave here. You have to go home.” I looked over at my mom, who was now crying. She nodded in agreement.
We sat together in silence for a few minutes as it began to sink in. I didn’t want to leave them. But there was nothing I could do to help them. And if I stayed and was arrested, it would only cause them more grief. I wanted to scream or cry, but I held back everything and remained silent.
I gave my dad another big hug. “I’ll be okay,” I said. “You always said I had good survival skills.”
My mom kissed me on the neck. “Be careful,” she told me.
As I slipped out the door, I felt like I was abandoning them forever, but I knew I had to try to get back home. As I walked down the hallway, I saw a police officer at the far end, speaking to a nurse. I had no way of knowing if he was looking for me, but I wasn’t about to chance walking past him.
I opened the stairwell door and heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Before I could turn back, I saw that it was DeMarco and Alexis.