Logan had never met a woman who thought her breasts were perfect. He’d had surgically enhanced ones in his hands, and his mouth. He’d once dated a woman who’d had breast reduction surgery. Personally, he considered that a shame. He was undeniably a breast man. Sure, he could admire a woman’s perfect ass. Long shapely legs were always nice. But show him a pair of rounded breasts and he was instantly hard. Let him caress the soft skin and weigh their fullness, and he’d drip in anticipation.
Breasts did it for him every fucking time.
He loved their different shapes. Large, small, round, long, it didn’t matter to him. He enjoyed them all. He was also fascinated with nipples. Some women had large dark areolas and nipples smaller than a pea. Other women had small circles barely darker than their own skin. He’d once slept with a frog hog who had extremely long nipples.
Teagan’s were perfect. There was no other word for them. They filled his large hands but didn’t look huge on her petite frame. Her aerola was a peachy-pink color, several shades darker than her naturally ivory skin. He loved the way they wrinkled, and her nipple hardened instantly when he touched them. She was so responsive.
“In my unquestionably male opinion, which from now on is the only one that counts, these are perfect.” He cupped them in both hands then kissed each nipple. To his delight, they pebbled immediately.
Teagan rolled away and sat up, her back against his headboard and wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t get used to them. I might not have been for long.” She swallowed hard. “I…I…I’m thinking about having them removed.”
He couldn’t control the way his body jerked back. “Why the fuck would you do that?” He glared at her. Was she fucking crazy?
Her eyes glistened in the subdued bedroom light.
Fuck. Now he’d gone and done it. He’d upset her. He hated when women cried. Especially when he didn’t understand why.
She inhaled a deep breath, visibly gathering her resolve. “I carry the breast cancer gene.”
He didn’t know anything about breast cancer, but he knew that any kind of cancer was terrible. “Does that mean that you’re going to get breast cancer?”
She shrugged. “Most women in the United States have about a twelve percent risk of developing breast cancer. Recent studies show that because I have mutations in both breast cancer genes, I’m at about a seventy-two percent risk.”
Fuck. That was nearly a seventy-five percent chance that she would get breast cancer. “Are you sure?”
Her eyebrows pinched together. “About the exact numbers? I try to stay current—"
“No.” He closed the distance between them. “Are you sure that you carry that gene? If it’s DNA, then it’s hereditary. Does your mother have it?”
“Yes, it’s hereditary but I don’t know if my mother carries the gene or not.” She glanced away then back at him. “Mom was always closed mouthed about anything family health related. She’s never told me who my father was. Given her current state of mind, I don’t think I’ll ever find out. She doesn’t even recognize me when I walk in the room to visit her. Sometimes she’ll talk to me as though I’m a child. Her body is healthy, at least for now, but her mind…”
At the moment, Logan didn’t give a shit about her mother. He was much more concerned with Teagan and her cancer revelation. “I’m sorry about your mother.” He put his arm around her and pulled her tight against his body. “She’s in a safe place, now, where they seem to be taking good care of her.”
Teagan nodded. “I like this new place so much better than where she was back in DC. They really treat her with respect, even though she tells them the same story over and over again.”
“T, I don’t want to talk about your mom right now, I want to talk about you.” Logan turned his head and kissed her temple. “You said you were sure you have this cancer gene.”
She nodded but said nothing.
“How long have you known?” He pressed.
When she didn’t answer right away, he knew she needed more time. They needed more time. He hoped that one day she would trust him enough to tell him all her secrets.
She let out a long breath then finally spoke. “When I got promoted to Lieutenant, they discovered a lump during my annual exam. They biopsied it and thankfully it was benign. They were able to give me the DNA test which confirmed that I carried the gene. Actually, both my BRAC one and two are mutated. That puts me at an even higher risk.”
Okay. This he could deal with. Assure that there is a problem. Next step, possible resolutions. “What can be done to increase your chances?”
“I go for screening twice a year. One time I’ll get a digital mammogram and the next an MRI.” She forced a grin that didn’t reach her eyes, then she cupped her bare breasts. “These babies get groped a lot. I also do my monthly self-exam.”
“I can help with that,” Logan tried to tease.
“No, you can’t.” She stared at him with heat in her eyes. “When you touch me, you’re so gentle. It ignites every nerve in my body which screams it wants sex, immediately.” Teagan blinked and her blue eyes were cold. “When the doctors and technicians touch me, there is nothing sensual about it. They’re looking for lumps that don’t belong there. They’re repositioning my breast for the best possible picture to catch even the smallest clump of cells mutating. When you touch me, you bring me pleasure. When they touch me, it’s a necessary ordeal.”
Logan ran the tips of his fingers from her forehead to her chin. “I don’t want to bring you anything but pleasure.” He touched his lips to hers briefly. He needed to know more. So much more. He intended to research those BRCA genes, but he had a perfect source in his arms. “Other than continual checking, isn’t there something else that can be done?”
She rolled her lips between her teeth and rapidly nodded. “I can have a double total mastectomy.” She grabbed her breasts once again. “The surgeon takes out everything and replaces it with fake boobs.”
He hesitated, but then had to ask. “How much does that decrease your risk?”
Her smile was genuine when she answered, “Between ninety and ninety-five percent.”
“What the hell are you waiting for?” He twisted so he could look at her complete face. “Teagan, let’s get this scheduled. From the little you told me, the longer you delay the surgery, the greater the chance the cancer will appear.”
“I couldn’t. My insurance company in DC considered it elective surgery.” She turned her head away from him. “Between the cost for mom’s memory care nursing home, living in DC, and all the testing on the new CH-53 King Stallion helicopter for the Marine Corps, I couldn’t afford it or the time off work. I’d been saving up all my vacation time, then Marsha was murdered.” She threw her hand toward the other side of the duplex. “I’m now mother to two small children. Are you going to take care of them while I’m in the hospital for a week and help out during the six weeks of recovery?”
“Fuck, yes. They’re my kids too, you know. You are not in this alone.” He would do anything, and everything, she needed. “Have you seen a…breast…specialist down here, yet?” He had no idea what kind of doctor she needed, but dammit, he’d find the best one within two hundred miles. He didn’t care what it cost. He would find a way to pay for her surgery if he had to. First, though, he would go head to head with the insurance company.
“No, not yet. I was going to look more seriously after the kids went back to school. They needed me here, establishing a new normal for them.” She shook her head. “Brann and Anora have been through so much lately. I’m afraid seeing me sick would devastate them.”
“We could talk to their grief counselor about that.” He leaned in and gave her a soft, tender kiss. “We should also talk to her about how to tell the children about us.”
“Is there an us?” He could see the multiple questions in her eyes.
“Fuck, yes, there is an us.” If Logan had his way, there always would be, but he didn’t think Teagan was ready to hear that just yet. Glancing at the clock, he calculated there was enough time to hear her call his name as she came at least twice more.
He started his kisses at her chin and worked his way down her throat before paying particular attention to each breast. With nips and kisses he made his way over her flat stomach to the apex of her thighs. He liked that she spread wide for him. He spread her lips with his thumbs then kissed her swollen clit before running his tongue through her folds as she writhed and bucked under him. He slid two fingers inside her hot wet channel, pumping them in and out as he sucked on her clit.
“Logan, I can’t hold back much longer.” She begged, “I want you, not your fingers.”
He glanced up her body, stopping only briefly to say the single word, “Nope.” He flicked her clit with the tip of his tongue and her hips raised six inches off the bed. Logan grinned. “Let yourself go.”
Fingers shoving in and out, he alternated between sucking and flicking her bundle of nerves.
“Logan.” She cried out his name as her entire body shook its release.
Christ. He almost lost it just listening to her come.
He grabbed another condom from the nightstand and rolled it on, sliding inside of her while her muscles still convulsed.
Teagan’s eyes flew open.
“One more time,” he ordered.
Panting for breath, she managed to say, “I can’t.”
Holding himself up with one arm, he used the pad of his thumb to rub her overstimulated clitoris with each stroke. “Sure you can.” Within a minute, he could feel her muscles tense once again. When she came the second time, he was only two strokes behind her. His entire body went rigid. Buried deep inside her, he let her spasming inner muscles milk him dry. With just enough brainpower before he blacked out, he rolled to one side pulling her with him. He wasn’t ready to lose their intimate connection.
Logan could never let her go. Teagan was his.
The alarm on his phone chimed all too soon. It was time for Teagan to return to her half of the house. He’d programmed in enough time for her to shower, but she insisted on gathering her clothes and returning a few minutes earlier than they’d promised the babysitter.
Logan slid on the jeans he’d worn out to dinner, not bothering with underwear. He snagged one of his polo shirts rather than fussing with all those buttons.
Retracing her steps, unabashedly naked, she went up and down the steps twice, more slowly the second time.
Grinning, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the scrap of lace, dangling it from a single finger. He could still smell her arousal. “Looking for this?”
She frowned up at him from the bottom of the stairs with fists planted on her tanned hips. “You owe me a new pair of panties. Those were expensive.”
He fingered the soft lace as he slowly descended the stairs. “I’ll gladly replace them. From now on, though, you don’t need to bother wearing any when I’m around.” He sat down on a step near the bottom and pulled her to him. He wanted one more taste.
Burying his nose in her trimmed golden curls, he used his thumbs to open her wet folds. He licked a circle around her clitoris before he latched on and sucked.
She moaned. “Logan, I really have to go.” She stepped back. Heat blazing in her darkened blue eyes, a slow sensual smile crossed her face as she looked down at him. “Promise me, though, that we’ll pickup right here next time. I’ve never had sex on the staircase.”
“Absolutely.” He’d have sex anywhere and everywhere she wanted. He stood and had her in his arms within a single step. When he kissed her, he hoped she could taste herself on him. It was his new favorite flavor.
His cell phone buzzed interrupting them. It was the five-minute warning. Teagan needed to get next door and Logan was going to see to it that Erin got home safely.
He looked at the wall that connected, and separated, the two halves. “I’m going to talk to a contractor about putting a door right there.” He pointed to a blank spot on the wall. “Then we wouldn’t have to go outside to get to the other home.”
She laughed. “Just put a door between our bedrooms and call it good.” Teagan grabbed her bra from the floor and quickly put it on. Still walking toward the door, she slipped the pretty blue sundress over her head. Peering into the mirror at the entrance, she combed her fingers through her mussed hair. Showing up with sex hair the first time Erin babysat for them probably would not be a good thing.
On the short walk to her side, Logan thought about the cancer gene and the beautiful, giving woman next to him. “That’s why you never had children, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t want to curse any daughter of mine with this gene.”
“Is that why you’ve never had a serious relationship?” Logan had so many questions.
“I was engaged when they did the DNA test,” she quietly confessed as she slowed their pace. “Greg said he really wanted kids and broke off the engagement. We were in the same squadron, so seeing him move on was really hard. When mom got sick and I was nearing the end of my contract, leaving the Navy was an easy decision.”
“What a dick.” Logan wondered if the man had ever even loved her. He didn’t care if she was sick. He would be there for her. Through thick and thin.
“Yeah.” Teagan sounded defeated.
Somehow, he had to convince her what a gorgeous woman she was, with or without breasts, worthy of love even though she didn’t want to have children of her own.
As they walked up the steps to the house where their children slept, he realized their current situation was for her. “Did Marsha know about your condition?”
“Of course.” Teagan smiled. “She was my rock, and I was hers. She went to almost every appointment with me, from the beginning. And I helped her whenever I could. When taking care of two small children, while Gabe traveled, became too much, she’d call me and ask if I wanted to play mom for a few hours, or even a day. I love Brann and Anora as though they were my own.”
“I love them too, you know.” Logan held open the door and followed Teagan inside. He also loved her, but knew she wasn’t ready to hear those words.