The scent of coffee taunts me the moment I step into the bar. It’s my drink of choice, but with the babies I’m carrying, I can’t indulge in my favorite fix. Today of all days, I need it. After my fight with Todd and the encounter with Rick afterward, I barely slept an hour before Peyton and Rey had me up.
“Do you want me to put on some decaf?”
Ilan’s question draws my attention to where he’s sitting at one of the booths in the back of the room, far away from the few customers in the bar. He’s got that protective demeanor about him, more than usual.
As a Royal with three wolves sharing his body, his instincts are better than mine. He can probably smell the change in my scent as my hormones kick into high gear. Or he might even be able to hear the babies’ heartbeats. Once I get further along in the pregnancy, single shifters will be able to sense the same things. Until then, this is my secret. And Todd’s. I’m not positive he even told his uncle yet, and Todd tells Wyatt everything.
I smile wanly and slide into the booth across from Ilan. “You know?”
Ilan inclines his head slightly. “Twins again, huh?”
Planting my elbows on the table, I prop my chin on my clasped hands. “Apparently, I breed well. Todd did say that’s why he picked me.”
Ilan brushes a lock of hair from my cheek. “You deserve better than him. You deserve a male who’ll treat you as if you’re the most important treasure in the world.”
The memory of Rick helping me stand after Todd shoved me plays through my head. A lump forms in my throat. Darn pregnancy hormones. I swallow against the regret. “And if there was a man who would treat me like that, he deserves a woman who can be faithful to him. I’ll always be tied to Todd. He’s not going to suddenly decide he doesn’t want to breed me.” I roll my eyes. “He wants strong boys to make the Silverman name feared again.”
Ilan studies me for a long, breathless moment. I don’t like the contemplation on his face. It doesn’t take much to guess what he’s considering—killing Todd. Ilan doesn’t have a problem with murder. He’s from a time when kill or be killed was the law of the land.
I give Ilan my sternest glare. “Don’t even think about it. You’d go to prison, and the one for people like us isn’t a place I would wish upon my worst enemy.” Even Todd. I would feel his pain. Well, my wolf would since she shields me from the worst of his emotions. And I don’t want my wolf to suffer. I love her.
“Not for long.” Ilan chuckles. “It’d be worth it.”
“Not long! You’d be locked away for decades. You know what they do to people in there, don’t you?”
Leaning so close, Ilan’s face fills my vision, he says, “Daily tortures that would kill non-Royals, rapes, mind games, starvation, and isolation. Yes, I know these things.”
Fair treatment of prisoners isn’t a concept our species embraces. Neither is gender equality, for that matter. “If you know, then why would you even contemplate taking the risk?”
“You’re my little sister. That’s what a pack does for its members.”
I slide my hands over my face, covering it, and rest my chin on the heels of my palms. It’s times like this when I feel like a burden on those around me. Or a selfish brat. It might be better if I do leave. There’s a chance—albeit a small one—I can evade Todd until my children are grown. After that, I can kill myself to guarantee he’ll never be able to breed me again.
“I’m not pack, not really. We’re only friends.”
There’s nobody close to us, but Ilan lowers his voice anyway. “My wolves have claimed you as their little sister. There’s no fighting them on it. They’re the most stubborn set of animals any shifter was born with, and they don’t like seeing you sad. It makes them angry, and do you know what three dominant and slightly crazed wolves do when they’re angry?”
“They lash out.” I sigh. “I know, but I don’t want you to hurt Todd. You’ll suffer for his death. I’d never be able to live with that.”
“He should die. You’re better off without him,” Josh declares.
I spread my fingers, peeking at Josh. “How much did you hear?”
“Only what you said just now.” Josh pulls up a chair, spins it, and sits at the end of the booth. With his arms folded over the back of the chair, Josh studies me. “You look tired.”
“I am.” No use arguing the point. I noticed my under-eye circles when I looked in the mirror.
“Sara told me Todd was over at your place last night. What did he want?” The demand in Josh’s tone is clear.
Sara had been curled up, with a blanket over her, on my couch when I finally made it up to my place. I’d assumed she was sleeping. She often naps after getting the girls to bed. I don’t mind. They know where to find Sara if they wake up needing something. I guess I was wrong about her sleeping last night.
“Todd was being Todd.” In other words, he was his normal self.
“He shoved you.” Josh grips the back of the chair. “As far as I know, he hasn’t laid a hand on you before last night. Have I been wrong about that all along?”
Nope. Not going there. I don’t need Josh or Ilan confronting Todd, especially with their implied promise to take him out. It’s bad enough Rick wanted to hunt Todd down for what he did to me. I don’t want to see Josh in jail any more than I’d want Ilan to land there for killing Todd.
“What’s the deal with Rick Lyall? Why is he hanging around the bar?”
“You’re changing the subject,” Ilan scolds me.
Yep. He knows me well. I’m not letting it go either. They should know that too. “Rick showed up at my place last night. Right after Todd ran off. Didn’t Sara tell you that part?”
Josh and Ilan exchange glances, giving each other a “I told you so” look. Josh faces me. “He’ll be hanging out here even more. I rented him the apartment out back.”
“You did what!”
“You heard me. I rented Rick the apartment out back.”
I scan the nearby tables to make sure nobody heard my outburst, then I lean forward. “But why him? Lots of people have been asking about renting it since your sister left town.”
“Uri asked me to help out his new partner. I couldn’t say no. You know how it is. Uri’s important to Mira. Rick’s important to Uri. So Rick’s important to me. Besides, I want Rick to solve this case, not be worrying about apartment hunting.”
I focus on where my hands are splayed on my thighs. I’m being irrational. So what if Rick’s attracted to me? Or I’m attracted to him? Once he finds out I have kids and a breeding partner, he’ll move on to another girl. Honestly, I should have told him the moment he showed interest in me. It’s not like my status is a secret.
My shoulders slump with the depressing realization that there’ll be no snuggling or slow and sensual sex in my future. I guess that’s why people call daydreams fantasies. There’s no hope of them coming true. Time to change the subject again. “What case is Uri and Rick working on?”
“Benjamin Tanner’s murder,” Ilan answers.
I straighten. “Ben was killed?”
Josh nods. “Over the summer, right before Nic Kagan became alpha.”
Ben’s image flashes before my eyes. It’s been years since I saw him, but I remember perfectly the one and only time I spoke to him. He tried to convince me not to leave with Todd. I should’ve listened to Ben. “How did he die?”
“A bullet between the eyes.” Ilan’s voice turns grim. “His killers then soaked his body in ammonia and bleach before tossing him along the side of the road.”
“To destroy their scent.”
Josh adds the fact, but I already know why they likely did it. Bleach and ammonia tampering is a common practice in shifter-related crimes. The strong chemical smells mess with any scent trail our wolves might be able to pick up. The chlorine gas produced deters humans too.
Another memory teases my mind—Todd stopping by my place with a couple of cases of both ammonia and bleach, along with garbage bags and paper towels. He’d wanted to borrow buckets. He was helping Wyatt clean the diner he owns. It was infested with mice or something.
I can’t remember when he’d borrowed those buckets, but I do remember he never brought them back. I’ll have to ask him if he still has them. I should ask him about Ben too. Maybe he knows something that would be helpful.
Or maybe not. As a beta, Ben wouldn’t have been good enough to walk in Todd’s circle of friends. Honestly, he probably never talked to Ben. In Todd’s eyes, the weak don’t deserve the attention or protection of the strong, which is probably why he never bothers with Peyton and Rey.
My protective instincts and my anger surface with the thought. How am I going to convince my girls they matter when their father doesn’t think they do? I shake my head. Now’s not the time to worry about the future. “It’s going to be hard to find the killer. Lots of people have both ammonia and bleach in their homes.”
Josh nods. “Yes, it’s also been several months since Ben died. Few people even know about his death.”
“A report was filed with Shifter Affairs, but…” Ilan shrugs. “You know how it is.”
I do. Shifter Affairs helps a lot of people and manages to keep the truth about shifters a secret, but they’ve developed a reputation of being the last resort. “Ben’s case sat open while others were handled.”
“I can’t say I blame them either. If I had to choose between helping someone alive and solving a murder, I’d let a cold case sit too.” Ilan looks at Josh. “Did you tell her what Shifter Affairs said about her case?”
“My case? I don’t have a case.” He better not have gone behind my back. I told him I wasn’t interested in relocation, even though I’ve thought about it constantly. Josh wouldn’t know about my wavering stance, however.
Josh holds up a hand. “Before you get upset, I had to open a case in order to find out the details of relocation.”
“But—”
“It doesn’t hurt to know your options, and nothing will come of the case unless you pursue it.” Josh interrupts me. “If you decide to take their help, you can finish your degree remotely, then take a position in one of their other offices. You’ll get benefits, a housing stipend, and the protection of being around Shifter Affairs agents all the time.”
My wolf stirs within me, perking her ears. I sit up straighter too. It has nothing to do with the extra details Josh shared. Something’s triggered my instincts. Or I should say, someone. The tingling along the back of my neck gives me the impression I’m being watched.
I peer over my shoulder and scan the bar. My gaze collides with Rick’s. Hunger and possession slide into his eyes. My body warms in response to the promise in his expression. Anticipation builds. I want him to come to me. I need his scent in my lungs. It’ll strengthen me.
Rick holds my gaze for a long, breathless moment, then turns away. He walks in the opposite direction and sits at a table near the dance floor with Uri and a blonde woman I’ve never seen before.
My breath rushes out in a long exhale. Disappointment crushes me. Rick didn’t come to me. He rejected me. Chose to sit with another woman.
I stare at Rick’s back, silently willing him to glance in my direction. He doesn’t. He leans close to that woman. She laughs at something he says. A hollow feeling spreads through my chest.
Josh touches my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Forcing a smile, I meet Josh’s concerned gaze. “Yes, just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Josh studies me, then nods as if he’s made some sort of decision. “Take the rest of the day off. Go home and get some sleep, then think about calling Shifter Affairs.”
“I have to work and—”
“I’m giving you a paid mental health day.” Josh pulls out his phone and types. “I sent Mira a text to see if Megan would like Peyton and Rey to sleep over, then help us pick out a tree and put up decorations tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Excitement for my girls straightens my spine. Peyton and Rey had so much fun making ornaments for our fake tabletop tree. They also love Josh’s adopted daughter.
Josh reads the reply on his phone. “Mira thinks they should stay over tomorrow night too since they’ll probably be exhausted after decorating all day.” Josh raises his gaze to me. “You don’t mind, do you? We can bring them over first thing Monday morning in time for school. Mira has a doctor appointment anyway.”
“I…um…” I don’t have a reason to say no. Peyton and Rey sleep over there frequently when I can’t get a sitter and have to work late. “If they want to, I don’t have a problem with it.”
“Good.” Josh stands and returns his chair to the table behind us. “Go home and ask them. If they want to come over, I’ll pick them up in an hour. I’m cutting out early tonight too. Ilan’s watching the bar.”
Ilan grins. “I’m earning manager rate too.”
“As if you need the money.” Living as long as he has, he’s got to have a nice stash of cash hidden somewhere. I shake my head, then slide from the booth. “Okay, I’m going.”
Josh grabs my arm before I can walk away. “I’ll bring over the number for the agent I talked to if you have any questions or want to talk.”
“Okay.” There’s no use arguing with him. Besides, maybe I should call Shifter Affairs. It would make a lot of people’s lives easier if I left. Maybe I can arrange some kind of special deal for my children if Todd hunts me down before they’re old enough to live on their own.
I slip around Josh and make my way through the bar. My gaze drifts to Rick’s table. He’s partially out of his seat and leaning over the blonde woman, looking at something she’s holding.
My wolf growls. I feel the same way. I don’t know who this woman is, but I don’t like how close she is to Rick. Then again, it’s none of my business. He’s not mine. Will never be mine.
I met him too late.
If that isn’t a depressing thought, I don’t know what is. Oh wait, yes I do. If the babies I’m carrying are boys, Todd is going to move me into Wyatt’s house. He wants to make sure nothing happens to my babies while they’re growing inside me.