Chapter Six

 

Liz’s hands shook as she turned the lock, shutting herself alone in the library with Zack. This was likely the single stupidest thing she’d ever done, but after years of pining for and being in love with him, she couldn’t walk away without knowing how a night with him would feel.

She should be in her bed right now, trying to find sleep. But she’d seen the light on and known he’d be here. Like a freaking moth to a flame, she’d found herself leaving the safety of her bedroom and walking right into the predator’s den.

After this evening, she understood him better. He’d pulled the same dumb play Mad had, shoving her away so she wouldn’t get caught up in his danger. So she wouldn’t become another Joy. Gus had been hinting at this for weeks, but her friend hadn’t been able to betray her fiancé’s secrets by being specific…and Liz had been too hurt to believe.

Trembling, she turned now and looked at the only man she’d ever truly loved. He needed her tonight. She saw it in his stare, in the way he clenched his fists at his sides. How much character and willpower had it taken him to allow her this choice? She admired him even more for finding the strength, especially since she’d long suspected that under his façade of intellectualism and perfect manners, he hid a beast.

Tonight, she would find out if she’d been right.

Liz had no illusions. He was capable of breaking her heart into a million pieces, and she’d try not to let him. But even if she only got one night with this man, she would take it because she would rather live with foolish regret than stubborn ignorance.

“Elizabeth.”

His voice hummed in the quiet room, caressing between her ears, vibrating through her body. She flushed with arousal.

This was it. This was happening.

She’d wanted him the moment they’d met, but he’d been forbidden. Now, he stood in front of her with his broad shoulders and his dark hair. Not a president, but a man. Her man—at least for the night.

Liz tried to steady her breathing as she crossed the room to him. Finally, she had permission to touch him the way she’d always wanted. Of course she’d heard him say tonight would be his way all the way, that it wouldn’t be tender, but she wanted one sweet moment she could cling to later before her man turned beast.

She stopped in front of him and reached up, brushing her fingers against the silver threaded at his temples—the only sign that he was aging. Naturally, it made him even more attractive.

He caught her hand, clasping it in his big one. “Be sure.”

That was Zack, always putting others first, even when his whole world was falling apart. Even when he needed so desperately for himself.

Tonight, she was here for him in every way. Liz hoped with all her heart he understood that.

She would cling to him through the bittersweet hours until dawn, memorizing every touch. Tomorrow they would go back to their corners, and the turmoil would start again. It would be worse because she would know exactly how good it felt to be in his arms. But their passion could only be temporary because he was right, any chance they’d had at a future had died the day Joy had. After her murder and three long years, how could they ever hope for more?

“I’m sure,” she murmured. “I want everything you have to give me tonight.”

He released her hand to grip her waist. Immediately, he dragged her against his body. His free hand found her hair and sank in, tugging her head back. “I’ve waited forever for this.”

His thick whisper sent a tremor through her. “Me, too.”

Silently, Liz mourned the loss of their idyllic vow in Memphis that when they finally kissed for the first time, it would only be when they’d never have to stop. But she couldn’t worry about the future when she and Zack only had right now.

He angled her face under his and her heart began to careen. He bent, crushed her lips under his, and groaned into their kiss. She could feel the moment he let go of his iron will.

“It’s not going to last nearly as long as I want it to,” he muttered against her mouth. “At least not this first time…”

Liz expected it to be fast and furious because neither of them could deny their desire a second longer. He needed her; she could feel it. Another reason she couldn’t walk away. If he had merely sought sex, she might have found the will, but even if this wasn’t a tender joining, it was about connection. They were both starving for it.

Again, he swept his lips over hers and devoured her. There was no other way to describe the way he clutched her against every muscle and bulge of his lean body and took her mouth captive. She wrapped her arms around him and lost herself in passion.

He didn’t waste time. With his tongue, he urged her mouth open, then he tugged on her hair again in sharp demand. She opened her mouth and welcomed him inside. Her body felt taut, like an arrow about to be loosed. While his tongue dominated hers, she explored the hard planes of his body with eager hands, wishing so badly that nothing came between them. The clothes she’d worn all day were now far too tight. She wouldn’t be able to breathe if she couldn’t feel his naked skin against hers soon.

Zack was already working on the problem. He didn’t miss a beat, just wrapped his hands around the neckline of her blouse and yanked. In a single movement, the buttons gave way. Cool air and his hot stare stroked her skin.

She didn’t have a handy set of clothes to change into tomorrow, but her protest drifted away as Zack stripped the crisp white blouse from her torso and stared.

His burning gaze inspired a wave of goose bumps all over her body.

“Take off your bra.”

His rough voice urged her to stand in front of him, unclasp the garment, and let it fall between them. She did. He watched, sucking in a sharp breath as she revealed her breasts to him. His eyes heated, darkened. He didn’t have to say a word for Liz to feel adored.

“Come here.” He reached for her.

She was already so close that she could feel his hot breath and electric impatience. “If I come any closer, I’ll be pressed against you.”

He merely smiled as he caressed up her arm, then wrapped his fingers around it to draw her in. “Now that I’ve seen how gorgeous you are, I want to feel you.”

His words were melting her when he spun her away and dragged her bare back against his chest.

“Zack?”

“I’m not going to last. It’s been fucking years since…”

Since he’d had sex. He and Joy hadn’t been intimate for much of their marriage, and he would never have cheated on his wife. Only when he’d thought he would lose the election and Joy said she was amenable to divorce had he tried to find his own happiness. But in the last few months he had dated all those lovely women. “You didn’t sleep with Mimi?”

He dragged her skirt up with one restless hand while the other cupped her breast. “You know why I dated her and the other women.”

To keep her off the Russians’ radar.

He kissed her neck, while he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She couldn’t help but soften against him and give herself over. That hand on her thigh was getting closer and closer to where she ached for it to reach.

She could barely breathe. As Zack’s lips moved up her neck, she felt the hard line of his erection pressed against her ass. “I’m sure it was Roman’s plan.”

Most of the bad ideas came from Roman. He was utterly ruthless, and she prayed Gus tempered his worst impulses. It made him an excellent chief of staff, not so great as her lover’s best friend.

She couldn’t think like that. Zack wasn’t her anything except her forbidden temptation. What they shared wouldn’t last beyond tonight. It couldn’t matter tomorrow.

He grunted as he shoved her panties to the side and out of his way. “I’m not the one who was playing around with the Secret Service.”

She’d had a light flirtation—mostly because she’d been perturbed at Zack’s sudden fascination with supermodels—and the whole time she’d only been able to think about Zack. “Nothing happened. He wasn’t you.”

He nipped at her ear, his voice a low growl filled with satisfaction. “Nothing happened. She wasn’t you. None of them were.”

The words warmed and reassured her. Then she wasn’t thinking at all because Zack’s fingers found her pussy. She gasped, tilting her hips up for more of his touch. “Zack, please.”

“Everything about this pleases me. You’re going to please me all night long.” He delved deeper until he slid a finger over her clitoris. “But first… I’ve fantasized about feeling you, hearing you. Touching you. Come for me, Elizabeth. Then it will be my turn, and I won’t hold back.”

She didn’t want him to.

Zack was so complex. He was smart and kind, yet ruthless and focused. He could be cruel when he wanted to be. He could also be incredibly giving. And she wanted everything he had to offer.

Right now, she especially wanted the attention of that clever hand.

“You’re already wet.” Triumph deepened his tone.

“Yes.”

His hold on her breast tightened, and he stroked her nipple. Pleasure rippled. Then his thumb began to strum her clitoris while one long finger found her opening and sank deep. “And you’re soft and wet and ready to take my cock, aren’t you?”

He held her against him. Even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t escape the bliss he was heaping on her body. “Yes.”

“You’re going to spread those gorgeous legs for me and let me fuck you as long and hard as I want, right?”

Every word from his mouth went straight to her pussy, combining with the rhythm of his fingers to drive her higher and higher. Even the realization that Zack was demanding her pleasure pushed Liz close to the edge, so she didn’t need much to fall over. The minute she’d realized she would truly know Zack as a lover, her body had taken over, shutting down all the parts of her brain that knew this was a mistake. So long denied, her body refused to wait much longer before knowing ecstasy at this man’s hands.

“Yes!” She shuddered as the sensations built, then crescendoed. Her heart pounded. She gasped, then bit her lip to hold in her cry. Then orgasm bloomed over her and she came to a shuddering climax in his strong arms.

As she drifted down from euphoria, Liz closed her eyes and let herself feel his breath against her neck, his fingers moving inside her, his hand clutching her breast. Feel his desperation so like her own. Feel…him. Connected to him in a way she’d always known they should be.

Her body was flush with pleasure as she sagged against him, but Zack wasn’t through. In one strong move, he bent and lifted her into his arms, holding her to his chest. He didn’t bother to straighten her skirt. He simply carried her across the room to the couch where she was certain world leaders dialogued about critical treaties. But there would be no negotiations tonight, just her surrender.

He eased her onto the couch and stood, staring down at her intently. Slowly, he brought his hand to his lips and sucked his finger inside, tasting the arousal he’d created.

“God, I knew you would taste like heaven.” He dropped his hands to the belt of his slacks, working it open with ease. His hands shook slightly. “Spread your legs, Elizabeth. Take me.”

For the first time in years, the world felt dreamy and perfect because Zack was here. He was really with her. He wanted her—and he intended to have her now.

She didn’t care that they weren’t in the comfort of a bedroom or that tomorrow they would go back to being boss and employee. All that mattered was fulfilling the unspoken promise they’d made so many years ago. This library was hardly a bedroom in Paris overlooking the Eiffel Tower, but tonight Liz was damn happy for the satisfaction they would find together.

She watched, unblinking, as he shoved his slacks off. His swift efficiency at undressing afforded her only a glimpse of his cock. It looked long, impossibly thick, and hard.

Liz had wondered when she’d read Lara’s tongue-in-cheek article about the president’s penis whether his long-ago lovers had exaggerated about its legendary stature. Nope. Liz wanted to take it in her hand and stroke it, but Zack wasn’t waiting. He followed her down to the sofa and covered her body with his.

“Wait. I need to get undressed,” she whispered, though she could already feel him aligning his erection against her and nudging at her opening.

“No time.” His normally perfect hair was mussed and his whole body was taut as he yanked at the delicate material of her panties and it tore like tissue paper.

He’d left her with almost nothing to wear, but Liz no longer cared the second she felt him thrust up and join their bodies. His cock invaded, stretching her with a delicious burn. Moments before she’d been satisfied by the orgasm he’d given her with his skillful fingers. Now every cell in her body screamed for the dizzying pleasure he gave her again.

“Wrap your legs around me.” He held her down with firm hands as though he was afraid she might fight him and he was determined not to let her go. His eyes closed briefly as he rocked against her and forced the rest of his cock deep.

The moment he was fully seated, he sighed, a deeply content sound as he held himself there, seeming to revel in their joining.

He pulled out before rocking back in. His eyes opened as he filled her with every inch. He stared down, his gaze intense and consuming. A silent warning this wouldn’t be easy.

Then he began a deep, unforgiving rhythm. Liz held on tight as he began to fuck her with all the strength in his body and all the determination in his soul. Over and over, he slammed inside, then jerked nearly free before repeating the process. With each hard thrust, he ground against her clit, sparking undeniable arousal through her system.

The couch moved and the floors groaned. A Secret Service agent stood outside the door. He could probably hear them, so Liz didn’t let herself cry out in pleasure…though she cared a lot less about Zack’s guard hearing than she should.

“Don’t you fucking dare hold back on me.” His stare captured hers as he worked inside her, stroking and thrusting. “I know he’s out there, too, but he’ll keep his mouth shut. Pretend he doesn’t exist. Right now, there’s no one but you and me. I want to hear you come again.”

He kept shoving deep inside her, holding nothing back. She held on for dear life because he was a force of nature, and like someone in the path of a hurricane or tornado, she was caught up in him.

He picked up the pace. Her blood raced. Her heart chugged. Her fingers dug into his flesh as she lifted to meet him. Then she went over the edge, nails scratching up his back as her body stiffened with the pure pleasure at the orgasm sizzling through her. Zack shouted hoarsely as he seemed to lose all control. He shoved his cock even deeper inside her as he spent himself, sparking her system again.

Moments later, Zack shuddered and fell on top of her, not moving to keep his weight off her or to pull away even an inch. He simply lay on top of her, his face buried in the curve of her neck.

Between them, he cupped her breasts, one after the other, seemingly fascinated with the shape and feel of them, as he kissed her neck and nuzzled her cheek.

She sank into the sweet moment between them, closing her eyes and absorbing everything—his heavy breathing, his hair damp at the temples, his heart beating against hers, finally in sync. For right now, in this moment, Zack was hers.

Liz wrapped her arms around him, held him close, and prayed the night never ended.

 

* * * *

 

Mad walked into the kitchen at seven the next morning, following the delicious smell of coffee that hadn’t been made from instant crystals and didn’t have to be imbibed out of a tin can that also doubled as a handy vessel for shitty canned soup.

He was so not going to miss the wilderness. If he ever went camping again, it would be at the Four Seasons. He would teach his kid that roughing it was building a pillow tent in a suite where they had twenty-four-hour room service.

He stepped toward the coffee pot, then paused because he wasn’t alone. Sara sat at the breakfast bar, perched gracefully on a stool. She’d arranged her hair into a stylish, efficient ponytail. She had worn jeans and a simple T-shirt that molded to her rounding belly. She looked achingly beautiful to his eyes, and there was nothing more in the world he wanted to do than be close to her, stroke his hand over the place where their child was growing, and feel them both. Instead, he stood, watching her, afraid to move in case she scurried away again. He observed her picking at her bowl of yogurt and granola with a mug of what looked like herbal tea in her hand.

Mad looked for something to say that would bridge the void between them. Something smart. Something emotionally intelligent that would explain the depth of his feelings and commitment to her.

“Did you sleep okay?” Unfortunately, he wasn’t all that emotionally intelligent.

She stared at him for a moment, as though she had to remind herself he was actually here. “Fine. I got up early because I’d planned to insist that someone take me shopping, but apparently the Secret Service grabbed my bag from Gabe’s house. It’s weird that someone else brought my undies. How about you?”

He practically fell over in his haste to get closer to her. “I slept some. Not great because my mind won’t shut off, but my back isn’t screaming at me, so I’ll call it a win.”

“I still can’t picture you roughing it,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose. “You’re not exactly a nature lover.”

“I like nature, just from a distance,” he quipped, grateful that she was talking to him at all. He would happily make fun of himself in any way if it amused her. “Is anyone else awake?”

She shook her head. “I guess they’re sleeping in. From what the Secret Service told me, they were up late, so you’re the only person not in uniform I’ve seen this morning.”

He sat down across from her. “Security is pretty tight.”

“Obviously not tight enough if you managed to sneak into Zack’s limo.”

“Well, it helps when you’re working with the head of the president’s detail.” He didn’t want to talk about what had broken them apart. He wanted to talk about her and their child. He had a million questions. “How is the baby?”

“She’s fine.”

Mad felt as if his world stopped. His whole focus narrowed down to her and her words. Until now, the baby had been an idea in his head, something out of a dream. But Sara said they were having a girl. A girl was different. A girl wasn’t merely a baby. A girl was a daughter, a sweet feminine presence in his life he could love and protect and adore. A vision of a little sprite with tawny hair in pigtails whispered across his brain, the thought so sweet he could swear his heart clenched. “It’s a girl? They can tell so early?”

“It’s not that early,” Sara replied as though she hadn’t just rocked his world. “I had a sonogram weeks ago. She’s growing at a good pace. There’s nothing to worry about. She’s going to be healthy and perfect.”

“Of course she is. I’ll make sure she is. When this is over, I would like very much to come to the doctor’s appointments. I hate the fact that you’ve had to go alone.”

“I hate the fact that I’ve done everything in this pregnancy alone,” she said in a tone that made him realize he’d walked into a field full of land mines. “I hate the fact that my daughter is going to get caught up in all of this.”

He had to be so careful now or he would lose her for good. “I will do everything I can to shield her. I promise. Everything I’ve done so far has been to protect you both.”

She sighed, giving him that forthright stare that never failed to pull him in. “I sat up a long time last night thinking about this. I get that you thought leaving was the best way to handle the situation. You were scared and you had this paranoid guy talking in your ear.”

“Freddy knew a lot about the syndicate and what they were capable of.” He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Freddy hadn’t shown up that night. He might have called the police, then been in a world of hurt because the syndicate had long arms. “Freddy saved me that night.”

Her head shook and a tendril fell from her neat ponytail to caress her cheek. The pregnancy had done nothing but enhance her beauty. Her skin glowed with health. “He fed into your every worst instinct. You had options, Mad.”

How could he make her understand what it had been like for him? The world had crashed and burned that night, and it had been up to him to figure out how to make sense of it again. “I had to move quickly. I couldn’t do anything that would risk exposing our relationship to the public and putting you on the Russians’ hit list.”

“I do understand that.”

Thank god. Apparently she’d only needed to sleep on it. He reached for her hands. “I’m so glad you do. Baby, I’ve done nothing but think about you, worry about you. Miss the hell out of you.”

She pulled away. “But you never considered just talking to me? Treating me like a partner, rather than a liability you needed to martyr yourself to protect?”

“What are you talking about?”

She huffed, a frustrated sound. “There was a simple solution. You could have called me and told me what happened. You could have called Gabe. We would have helped you.”

“And have you threatened for it? Potentially be murdered for doing it?” Mad pointed out. “No.”

“I’m not an idiot. I wouldn’t have rushed out to the press and given away everything. I want to protect my child as much as you do. We’d been careful about our relationship up until that point,” Sara pointed out. “If you had told me about Krylov’s threats, I would have been perfectly reasonable. I might have been scared, but I wouldn’t have been destroyed. But you chose to take what could have been a simple decision and turn it into a grand drama. You didn’t treat me like your partner, your equal. You texted me that you no longer cared. You’re damn lucky I have pride or I might have shown up on your doorstep that night.”

How could she possibly think that way? “This wasn’t some college prank. I’m in the middle of a global conspiracy, and they’re out to not only kill one of my closest friends but assassinate my president. They can do it, too. They’ve already murdered Dax’s father, Zack’s mother, and Joy.”

“So the smart move was to alienate all your friends and tell the woman having your child that you’re done with her?” Tears shone in her eyes. “I love you. I do, but I’ve realized that you don’t love me the same way. We don’t have the same view of relationships. If I’d been the one unfortunate enough to meet Krylov, I would have tried to protect you, too, but I wouldn’t have savaged you to do it.”

He’d thought about it, thought about what could happen if she’d decided to be loyal to him until the bitter end. “Tell me you wouldn’t have tried to help me. I know how brave you are.”

“Yeah, but I have more than you and myself to worry about. I have to protect my daughter. I would have been careful the same way I’m going to be careful now. I’m happy you’re alive, but we’re over. I’m going to ask you to think of our daughter and stay away from me. There will be an insane amount of press around you when the world learns that Maddox Crawford is still alive.” Sara placed her hand on her belly as she eased off the stool. “We don’t need that.”

Mad stood in her path because they couldn’t end on this terrible note. “Sara, you can’t just walk away. You’re here with me. You’re involved now. Going back to New York isn’t an option. That’s another reason why I left so dramatically, as you put it. So you could just live and you wouldn’t have to hide.”

“I’ve been hiding, anyway. I’ve been avoiding life because I didn’t understand how you could love me one day and find me utterly beneath your notice the next. Now it makes sense. Thank you. I can move on.”

“Sara, baby—”

“No. Don’t try to sweet-talk me, Mad. The truth is, you’re not a grown-up. You’re still living in this crazy world where it seems logical to do insane things on impulse. I can’t live like that. I have to think of her. Of her stability.” She caressed her belly as she placed her half-empty bowl in the sink.

“But I love you.” He had changed, damn it. He wasn’t the selfish bastard he’d been for most of his life. She’d changed him. Loving her had made him a better man. “I love you both.”

“I know.” She brushed a tear away. “That’s the hardest part of all. You mean that…in your way. But I need more. I’m going to go back to my cabin. When everyone else is up, we need to talk about where I should stay long-term. I’m willing to go into protective custody if necessary. Like I said, I’m not too stupid to live. I’ll see you later.”

She turned and left the kitchen—left him—but not before Gus approached. She paused, watching as Sara put distance between them as fast as she could.

“I guess that didn’t go well. Are you okay?” Gus had always been there for him, one of his truest friends. He needed her now. She would understand and make him feel better.

“No,” he admitted. “But don’t worry about me. Sara is the one who needs an ear. She thinks I left her all alone and…” Mad sighed, feeling like his world was caving in all around him. Then again, it was because he didn’t have Sara. “Can you please talk to her? Maybe take her some tea and listen to whatever she needs to say? I’d do it, but…”

She didn’t want him anymore.

“I know.” Gus’s eyes went soft. “Of course I’ll do it. I’ll even curse your name with her.”

Gus grabbed the tea pot to make another cup of herbal tea for Sara. Morosely, Mad sat and watched, his need for coffee gone. He only needed one thing—and it looked like he really had lost her for good.