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The moment I see Wylla Mae exit the school I know this was a bad idea. Hell, I knew it before I even got out of bed this morning. I took a ride to try and talk myself out of coming, but I couldn’t bear to break her heart again. She cried when I didn’t show on her birthday and there is nothing I hate worse than her tears. Fuck me, she’s all grown up. Her graduation gown is hanging open revealing the tight white dress hugging her shapely frame. Long legs, thick curves, big tits. I shake my head. I shouldn’t be checking her out, but I can’t look away.
That little prick she dates notices me, and I see his fists clench. I’d like to say he has no damn reason to worry. But that’d make me a damned liar. Well if I were about fifteen to twenty years younger, he wouldn’t stand a chance but I’m not. I’m thirty-eight years old and have no business looking at Wylla Mae and experiencing the shit that I am. Yeah, she’s eighteen, but that doesn’t make it right. I thought distance would make these emotions go away. That I could forget the way she gazed at me in the dark, craving things neither of us had no business wanting. But those damn doe eyes have haunted me along with her words, “No one would know.” They always will.
I’ve tried to fuck the image away of her going down on her knees for me, innocence and longing in her doe eyes, with countless whores and women on the road, but no matter how many times I push the vision away it returns stronger than before. This urge inside me that screams that she’s mine and always will be mine. It’s not right. I’m too damn old for her, but I told myself I could push it all away for one day. That I could be strong enough to show up for her. Damn I was wrong. I shouldn’t be here but it’s too damn late.
Her smile beams so goddamn bright it lights up the world by twenty shades. Wylla Mae runs to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I lean in unable to help myself and smell her hair. Apple and cinnamon invades my senses. Her breasts press against me. Fuck. I’m torn between holding her tighter or letting her go. My palm itches to drop down to the curve of her ass.
“Told ya, kid.” I use the word ‘kid’ to remind myself of who I am to her and who I’ll always be. I know my role. I wish like hell I could forget even if for a minute, but I can’t.
“I’ll be in the truck.” I move away, letting her go, already missing her light and the weight of her breasts pressing into my chest. I watch though I shouldn’t, feeling a twinge of pleasure when she doesn’t let Darin kiss her goodbye, but then the fucker makes the mistake of getting handsy with her. I don’t even realize what I’m doing until I have ahold of him by the back of the neck asking if there’s a problem.
He gets smart and takes off. I have to ask her as much as I am afraid of what my reaction will be if I hear some shit I don’t like. But I need to know if he has ever hit her or tried to force himself on her. I didn’t appreciate the way he was gripping her arm. That shit doesn’t fly with me.
She assures me that he hasn’t, so I let it go for now. We get in the cage, and I can’t breathe. Her scent fills the interior, and she gazes at me with those deep brown eyes that melt me every damn time I gaze into them. I distract myself with her gift that’s in my glovebox. I have to reach across the middle of the truck to get to it. I didn’t think this shit through because she’s so damn close yet unreachable.
Untouchable.
I quickly drop the stuff in her lap and get on the road. I have no idea where I’m taking her. “Where do you think we’re going to go for dinner?” I use a trick on her I used to pull when she was still a brat. I ask her to guess and if her first one is good, I agree and pretend she got the answer right.
She taps her chin. “Oh...um...hmmm. It is my graduation and you haven’t taken me anywhere in two years, so I am thinking something good like a steakhouse.” Damn she’s been keeping count, but I have too.
Christ on a cracker. I should have left after the ceremony without seeing her, but I’m a glutton for punishment. I couldn’t be so close to touching heaven and not see her. I know some would say she’s eighteen and fair game, but this is Wylla Mae. She’s not just anyone.
Hell, I dated her mom for a couple years. It isn’t right. I’m a dirty old man for even thinking these thoughts. I had always viewed her as nothing more than a kid until that night she came into my room, wearing a thin tank top and shorts that barely covered her ass. I could see her nipples hardened through the material. Wylla Mae has curves that make her look all woman. She’s built like her mother, all tits, ass, legs, thick hair, and those doe eyes that hold me captive.
She has no idea the thoughts that are racing through my mind right now. Would she think I’m a filthy bastard if she knew that night that I wanted to say to hell with right now and take her to my bed.
Guilt courses through my veins. I should turn around and take her home right now. Walk away and vow to never see her again. After tonight I won’t. I swear this is the last time. I’ll take her to dinner and drop her back home with her graduation gift. Then I can let her go for good.
My heart cracks and sinks at the thought but it’s the best thing to do. I don’t need to go tempting myself further and thinking the impossible. That I could have her. She has her future ahead of her. I’m a no-good biker on my way to forty. She’s barely legal and on her way to college.
I know if I gave into desire, she’d never leave this place. I want more than this for her. I want more than me for her. She deserves to be young and free. To live her life and find herself.
“East? Was I right?”
I blink and stare ahead. I spaced out while driving. Fuck. I don’t know how to be around her now that she’s here and my body is damn fuckin aware of how grown and close she is. I want to pull over right now and say fuck the consequences and show her what a man like me would do with that body. I’m like a live wire.
I see a sign ahead for The Outback. It’s located in the Town Center. It’s not my first choice, but it will be crowded and keep me on my best behavior. I park in the parking garage and Wylla Mae fiddles with her hair, flipping the visor mirror down and checking her makeup.
“You look beautiful,” I assure her, squeezing her hand in mine. Damn that was a bad idea. Her warm fingers lace through mine and she hits me with her megawatt smile.
“Thanks, East. This is nice. Like old times.”
“Right.” I drop her hand. “Let’s see if we can snag a table.”
We exit my truck and walk side by side. She’s swinging her arms; her left hand keeps grazing mine. It’s damn tempting to hold her hand but that’s the gateway to more. I can’t keep flirting with temptation.
We’re in public. I can only imagine what people would say. I know the score. I’ve been there before. People thinking the worst of me because I was a single man watching a little girl, but it was never inappropriate. I never ever fucking looked at her like she was a woman until that night, but I knew it wasn’t right then like it still isn’t now. So I keep my distance but when we go to cross the street, the traffic is heavy on this roadway. It’s Saturday evening. Everyone is either going to the mall or the civic center.
Wylla Mae nearly steps into traffic, and I grab her wrist, her hand naturally slides into mine, like it is meant to be there. I ignore the way my heart races at her touch and wait for the crosswalk light to change.
The moment we get to the other side of the street I drop her hand and guide her to the steakhouse.
It’s going to be a two hour wait. The place is packed. We can’t even get a seat at the bar. I should have made reservations.
“You could just cook me my favorite...I’ve not had your mushroom and Swiss cheese chicken in a long time.”
I swallow hard and the vein in my neck pulses. Fuck no. I can’t take her back to my place. Just the two of us. Even I’m not that damn strong.
“Don’t think that’s a good idea and we’re already here. We could go walk around the mall or something.”
“I’d much rather have you cook for me.” Her bottom lip juts out and I look away. She knows how to work me. That fucking pout travels straight to my dick.
She’s had years of practice at getting her way where I’m concerned.
“Please, East. I’ll wash the dishes even and make dessert.”
If I take her to my place, the only dessert there will be is her naked in my damn bed and that’s not how I planned for this night to go.
“Can’t. Stove’s messed up,” I lie.
“Really? I thought you bought new appliances like six months ago. I specifically remember you saying that Lynn helped you pick them out.”
“New shit can still tear up.”
“East, is there a reason you don’t want me at your house?”
“What gives you that idea?”
“I don’t know, you seem weird. Jumpy even. Did I do something?”
“No.” Yeah. You grew up. “Just let it go. Come on. Let’s do some shopping.”
“Okay.” She grabs my hand lacing her fingers with mine again, but I quickly move and jerk my phone out of my pocket. “Give me a minute.” I move away from her, debating faking a call from the club. Wylla Mae knows if Murder calls, I have to go.
I stare at the screen of my cell phone feeling like an asshole. It’s not her fault. This is about me not being able to get a grip on myself.
“Sorry. That was Vickie.”
Her nose twitches. “Who’s that?”
“Someone I’ve been seeing.” Another lie.
“Oh.” Her face falls and I know I’m acting like a big prick but it’s for the best. “Does she...I mean you can invite her to dinner with us if you want to?” I can tell by how small her voice has gotten that the last thing she wants is for me to ask another woman to dinner with us. Wylla Mae always has wanted me to herself. Even when I was seeing Alexa it was all about Wylla Mae for me.
Fuck. I shove my phone in my pocket. I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I’m losing my mind. I need a beer and a fucking joint.
“If you don’t want to treat me to dinner...” she stares at her feet. “You can take me home.”
I tilt her chin up. “Never said I didn’t want to spend time with you.”
“Then why are you being so weird?”
“I’m not.”
“You can hardly look at me and every time I touch you...you flinch.”
“You want my chicken?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to. I get it, East. I make you uncomfortable because I have filled out and you are scared of looking at my tits and having guilt for it. I’m not a little girl anymore. I grew up.”
I didn’t realize I was being transparent. “Let me make it up to you. We’ll run by the store and get the stuff for the chicken. I’m sorry I made tonight weird. It shouldn’t be awkward between us.”
She quirks a brow at me. “I thought your stove was messed up?”
“Christ on a cracker. Quit picking fights with me and let’s go get the damn chicken before I change my mind.” This has bad news written all over it, but I’ve got to be able to get past this shit.