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The Past
“I knew it. I knew you were cheating on me,” Ruthie screeches at me for the millionth time.
I toss my hands up. “I’m done fuckin’ arguin’ with you. I’ve never stepped out on you but right now you make me wish I’d fucked every whore from West Virginia to California I’ve ever come into contact with. God damn.”
“I want you out of my house. Just pack your shit and go.” Her hand flies toward my face, but I grab her wrist before she makes contact. Ruthie draws her arm back, glaring at me. “I hate you.”
I snort and stroke my beard. “You get the fuck gone if you don’t want to be around me. This is my house. I pay the bills.” I take another hard pull of my bottle of Budweiser and drop onto the couch. I’m sick and tired of her shit. All the damn time she’s flapping her jaws to bitch at me. I’m over it. I don’t need it.
Her hand moves to her hip. “Why, so you can bring your whores here and fuck them in my bed too? You’d like that.”
“You fucking caught me.”
“I’ll leave, James, and I’ll never come back.”
I shake my head. “Then what the fuck you still standing here for?”
“I hate you. I wish you’d die.” her chest heaves as she stomps down the hall toward the master bedroom.
“Join the damn club. No one fuckin’ likes me,” I call out as the bedroom door slams shut. Closing my eyes, I scrub a palm over my face. Fuck me. If I’d known now what I knew when I was just a damn kid, I’d never stuck my dick in Ruthie Gibson. Was fifteen years old when I knocked the cunt up. When I drop my hand, Rochelle is standing in front of me with a hand on her hip mimicking her mother. “What?” I bark, and she flinches staring back at me with her big brown eyes, bottom lip jutting out trembling on the verge of tears.
“Mom said for me to pack a bag. That we’re going to Nan’s for the weekend.”
“What of it?”
“I don’t want to go with her. I want to stay home. I hate going there. It smells like muscle rub and peppermints. Nan is mean and hateful. She isn’t like my Gigi.” Nan is Ruthie’s grandmother. Gigi is her mother, but Nan practically raised her.
“Mind your mother. You know how she gets when I come back from a run. She’ll cool her shit, and by next week she’ll be back to herself. You’ll see.”
“I guess, but—”
“No but. Just pack light and go on. Nan is old and set in her ways, but the crazy old bat means well enough.”
“Dad,” she whines, stomping a foot. “I have plans.”
“Yeah well now you have new ones. Don’t give me no attitude. Listen to your mother.”
“Whatever.” she huffs, flipping her dark brown hair over her shoulder. Kid is the only thing good that ever came out of my marrying Ruthie. But fuck she acts fifteen going on twenty. Hard to believe she’s the same age her mother and I were when Ruthie told me she was pregnant.
Ruthie comes out of the bedroom with a suitcase in one hand, keys to her car in the other. She pulls this shit every damn time I’ve gone on the road. “Fuck you, James,” she spits her venom at me on her way to the front door.
“Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you,” I mutter.
“Bye, Daddy.”
“Be good, kid. See you next week.”
Rochelle gives me a weak smile and follows her cunt mother out the door. I don’t relax until I hear the car back out the driveway and the tires squeal as Ruthie peels out in her red Corvette. She always has driven the damn thing too fuckin’ fast.
I glance at the clock. Not even seven. I should grab a shower and head to the clubhouse. Only came home to see Rochelle anyway, and she ain’t gonna be here. Not that she wants to hang with me much these days. Being a teenager means her life revolves around school, her friends, and boys. She’s too cool for her old man.
A car door slams, and I get up off the couch. Ruthie must’ve forgot something or came back to yell some more. My head is pounding after all her damn screeching. A fist raps against the front door. I swing the door open and find Alexa, one of my kid’s friends in tears as a car speeds away.
“Where’s, Ro?” she peers up at me, another tear sliding down her cheek as she hiccups.
“Gone.” I go to shut the door. I’m not in the mood to deal with her problems on top of mine, but she shoves past me with her black nylon sports bag slung over her shoulder.
“Well, I’ll just wait for her then.” She starts down the hall toward Rochelle’s room. Her cheerleading skirt swishing as her hips sway, showing hints of her ass cheeks. Fucking hell. The sight is one that’s etched into my brain. Alexa loves skirts that show her ass, and I’m a filthy bastard who loves getting his eyes full of the sinful sight.
“Not gonna happen. She’s gone to her Nan’s for the weekend or longer. Go call your mom to come pick you up.”
“I can’t. They aren’t home. Todd dropped me here. Ro said I could stay over. Ruthie said it was okay.”
“Like I said, Alexa, Rochelle isn’t home and won’t be. You can’t stay. Wouldn’t be right.”
“You won’t even know I’m here. I swear it. Please. I don’t have anywhere else.” She wipes at her cheek with the sleeve of her hoodie.
“Call whoever in the fuck Todd is then.”
“He dumped me.” Alexa sniffles.
“Hell, stop your crying.”
“You don’t even know what kind of day I’ve had. My mom threatened to throw me out because she found an ounce of weed in my room, but it wasn’t mine. It was Todd’s. Mom flushed it and he got mad at me. Said he still owed money for it.”
“I’ll take you to another friend.”
“I don’t have anyone but Ro.”
I scrub a palm along my jaw. “Fine. But not a peep. You don’t have anyone over. I’m going out for the night. I’ll order you a pizza before I go and leave money on the counter for you. No boys. No dumb shit.”
“Thank you, Mr.—”
“None of that Mr. shit. Told you before to call me James.”
“James.” She smiles, throwing her arms around my neck, squishing her tits against my arm. Her soft pink lips meet my cheek, and I pull back.
“Whatever.” I shove her away and go to grab that shower. I feel weird having Alexa here with Ruthie and Rochelle gone. Makes me feel dirty as fuck. Alexa doesn’t look like no damn high school girl. She’s a few years older than Rochelle and I told my wife letting them be friends was a bad idea. Older friends means older boys. But they cheer together and are always attached at the damn hip.
Alexa is one of them girls you know is pure trouble just by looking at her. Big tits, thick hips, and ass for days. Long blonde hair, pretty green eyes. The kind of girl who’d get a man thrown in jail if he wasn’t careful. I know I shouldn’t look at her the way I do. I know it and she knows it. She loves the attention and I’m sorry enough of a bastard to give it to her.
Alexa’s daddy never took her over his knee and busted her ass for misbehaving. Maybe if he had she wouldn’t constantly be in trouble. I keep tabs on her because her and Rochelle are close. Can’t have her dragging my kid into her shit. Alexa hangs with a bad crowd. Shit for brains like Todd who hand their weed off to a teenager to keep from getting caught with it.
Stripping down I get in the shower, trying to erase the past hour. Trying to drown out the sound of Ruthie nagging in my ear. Trying to forget that my cock twitched at the sight of Alexa’s ass cheeks under that skirt.
I’ve always been faithful since I put a ring on Ruthie’s finger. I made a promise to her old man that I’d do right by her. Keith “Lion” Gibson is a mean ass prick. He’d rather put a bullet between your eyes than deal with any bullshit. I know better than to wet my dick anywhere but between his daughter’s thighs and he made damn sure everyone else knows it too. I put up with the asshole and pray for the day he takes his dying breaths. Even now I still remember him rolling up my parents’ driveway when he found out I’d knocked up his youngest daughter. Nearly pissed my pants.
He didn’t knock. A man like him doesn’t. Barged right in and stuck the barrel of his handgun between my eyes and dared me to breathe.
I shake off the memory and scrub my body. Scrubbing away everything but my memory of the first time I saw Alexa.
She wore a red bikini, running through the sprinklers of my front yard. I rolled up on my dark cherry Road King. Her gaze met mine, soft pink lips tipping into a big smile, flashing her pearly whites at me as she pranced around barefoot. Thrusting a dandelion toward me dusted with gold glitter she said, “Make a wish.” I closed my eyes and wished for strength because I knew somehow the devil had sent her to tempt me.
I step out the shower and towel off quickly, needing out of this house. Needing far away from her.
Music belts from somewhere in the house. I shake my head and snag a t-shirt off the hanger and grab a clean pair of jeans off the top of the laundry basket at the foot of the bed.
I get dressed and walk toward the living room fingering through my wallet for pizza money. The smell of weed permeates the house. I follow the scent to the kitchen and find Alexa perched on the counter, bobbing her head, joint snug between her fingers as she takes a hit.
Stepping between her legs, I snatch the doobie from her and put it out in the ashtray sitting next to her ass. “The fuck you doing?”
“What’s it look like?” She smirks her tempting lips at me, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “It’s been a shitty day, Murder.” Her brow arches as her finger rubs over the patch on my cut.
Knocking her hand away, I take a step back.
“Why do they call you Murder anyway? You kill someone?”
“None of your fuckin’ business.”
“Don’t be a party pooper.” Her smile droops into a frown. Her eyes glazed.
“Don’t test my limits, pretty girl. I’ll do what your daddy never did and bend you over my knee. Bust that ass till it’s glowing red.” The thought of it makes me hard, and I know I need to put some distance between us. Shit ain’t right. The thoughts I have about Alexa aren’t fatherly.
Alexa slides off the counter, stepping into my personal space. “You gonna use your hand or that big wooden spoon hanging on the wall over there.” She nods to the decorative giant wooden spoon and fork Ruthie hung up over the sink.
I breathe in and out. Her sassy assed mouth makes my blood boil. “Mess with me and I’ll shove it right up your ass,” I growl. Alexa loves to push my buttons. Testing the limits of how far I’ll let these games she plays go.
Her face colors crimson. Licking her lips, she cocks her head sideways. “At least get me good and wet first.”
Steam nearly blows out my ears. “Shut that filthy mouth before I stick a bar of soap in it.”
“You’re no fun.”
“I mean it. Behave.” I slap a couple twenties in her palm. “Order a pizza. Keep the doors locked. I’ll have eyes on the house,” I warn. “Don’t be bringing any of them fuckboys around here.”
“Yes, Daddy,” she mocks. “I’ll be a good girl.”
“If I were your daddy you wouldn’t be pressing my buttons. You sure as fuck wouldn’t be staying over at an outlaw’s house.”
“Pity. I was looking forward to you taking me over your knee.”
My cock twitches again at the thought, pressing against the seam of my zipper. “Order the pizza for fuck’s sake and put on some clothes. Try to stay out of trouble.” I stomp through the door that leads into the garage. Climbing on my bike, I back down the driveway and roar off toward The Devil’s Playground, my clubhouse.
**
“What are you doing here?” Nickel, the club VP, squeezes his whore’s tit and bites her neck. She squirms in his lap.
I take up the empty seat at his table and nod to the prospect behind the bar to get me a beer. “Banks around?”
“Cleaning the shitters.”
I shake my head. “What did he fuck up now?”
“Nothing. Bathroom is just nasty as fuck.”
“Where’s Lion?”
“Prez took off about an hour ago mad as hell about something. What’s up with you?”
Shit. I hope Ruthie didn’t go flapping her damn jaws again.
“Same shit different day.”
“Ruthie,” he mutters with a shake of his head.
It’s always fucking Ruthie. “You.” I look to the whore.
“Yeah.” She leans forward, titty hanging out the top of her tank top. Mascara smudged under her blue eyes. Diamond pendant dangling around her neck.
“Go take over for Banks. Tell him Murder wants to see him.”
“Wh-what? You want me to clean the bathrooms? I could you know...” she makes the motion of jerking her arm up and down with her fist clenched, pressing her tongue against her cheek.
“If I wanted my dick sucked, you’d already be on your fuckin’ knees. Bathrooms now,” I bark, slapping my palm against the table and the bitch visibly jerks.
Her gaze flicks to Nickel.
“You heard the man.” He pushes her up from his lap.
The dumb cunt moves off toward the bathrooms. Someone slides my bottle of Bud in front of me.
I snort. “Where’d you find that one?”
“Poker game.” He grins slicking his dark hair back into a ponytail.
“Fuck. I think you were cheated.”
“Nah. Her daddy’s big money. Fancy plastic surgeon or some shit.”
“You getting your pecker enlarged?” I chuckle.
“Fuck you. My dick’s plenty big enough. Just ask your Old Lady.”
“Watch it.” I take a hard drink of my beer. “On second thought, you want her? Bout’ sick of her shit.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“More like the pits of hell. Started her same shit again. Took Ro to her Nan’s for the weekend.”
“She’ll be back in a day or two. I don’t know how you do it, man. One bitch since fuckin’ high school. You know any woman in here would be happy to oblige. Most of them take offense you won’t take them to your bed.”
“Shit. Ruthie’s got eyes and ears all over. One wrong step and she’d take Rochelle and turn her further against me.”
“You’re fuckin’ paranoid. What she got on you anyway?”
“Now why would I tell you? Then you’d want something too.” Her father’s our club Prez that’s what she has over me. Nickel knows that but he won’t say shit all against Lion. Not to mention the secret we share. The one the cunt likes to hold over my head and keep me in line.
“Well fuck you too, brother.” He flips me off.
“You wanted to see me?” Banks pulls up a chair, flipping it backwards before taking a seat.
“Yeah. Need your eyes on my house. You see any cars that shouldn’t be there, or any foot traffic let me know. Got a houseguest.”
“On it.” he jumps up.
“And Banks.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t go in the house, just call me if there’s anything to report.”
“Will do, Murder.” He struts out the door. Fucker better not go near Alexa.
“Who you got at the house?”
“Ro’s friend showed up. Folks kicked her out.”
“You expectin’ trouble?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“It ain’t that pretty blonde with the big tits is it?”
“What would you know about Ro’s friends?”
“Shit. I got eyes, man. Better lock Rochelle up soon. Won’t be long before brothers start lookin’ at her too.”
“Not if they want to keep their eyes.”
“I hear you. But is it the blonde?”
“You’re a real sick bastard. You know that.”
“Hell. Don’t even try to tell me you ain’t looked at her and thought about it even for a second.”
I shake my head and finish my beer, signaling for another.
“You have.” Nickel punches me.
I stay quiet because we both know he’s right. Asshole.
“You sure Banks is the guy you want to put on her?”
“Something I should know about him?”
“Just saying if I had a pretty little thing like that at my place all alone for the weekend, I wouldn’t be here. I’m sure Banks will keep it in his pants.”
“Fuck.”
I pull my cell out and dial Banks. “Never mind, man. False alarm.”
The jukebox starts up and one of the hangarounds gets on the pole. Her tight body gyrating against the cool metal. Myla is gorgeous like an exotic flower in her bright orange bikini glowing against her tan skin.
“Hey, Murder,” a voice like velvet purrs in my ear, as a beer appears in my hand. I look up and see Kristen, another muffler bunny.
“Thanks, darlin’.”
“Anything for you, handsome.” Her fingers caress mine.
“Fuck off with that shit. You know better,” I grit.
“I just...you look tense.”
“She ain’t wrong,” Nickel tacks on.
I rub the back of my neck feeling another headache coming on. Fuckin’ Ruthie. Shit is her fault. If she didn’t give me Rochelle, I’d killed her ass years ago.
Patting my pockets, I pull out the joint I confiscated from Alexa and Nickel gives me a light.
I sit back and smoke my joint, drinking my beer, watching the girls on stage but only thing on my mind is Alexa in that damn cheerleader uniform. Fuck me. I’m fucking fucked in the head. I must be crazy, and sex deprived. I keep telling myself to make things work with Ruthie and I’ve tried. I’ve given her and Rochelle everything they ever wanted since I got out of prison.
How is it I’m on the outside and still feel locked up. Gave everything to this club. Gave up my daughter for seven years. Went in when she was five. Got out when she was twelve. Came home to a wife who hated me and a kid who didn’t know me.
Been trying since the day I was released to make it up to them. Both of them, but no matter what I do, I make shit worse.