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I know he’s only gonna break my heart. But I don’t care. Fevered with desire I give my all to him, whatever is left of me, it’s his. I’m his. If only for this night. I’ll hold him in my heart forever. My royal bastard.
“Fuck.” he groans. His erection presses between my thighs as I wrap my legs around him.
“Show me pleasure.” I nip at his neck, trailing my fingers down his back. “Show me what you feel for me.”
“I shouldn’t.” He kisses me hard, deep, and wet. Heavy breaths pass between us fueled by liquor. I taste his last cigarette. “But fuck doing what’s right. I want you, Lex. I can’t deny it. I can’t fight it. Baby, I don’t want to. You have me, pretty girl. Fuck do you have me.” James lifts my shirt over my head and smiles down at me. Gazing at me as though I’m truly beautiful and not damaged goods. He makes me feel whole. Like there’s nothing wrong with what he sees when he looks at me.
His rough hands glide over my body, touching me anywhere and everywhere followed by his mouth. Sucking a nipple between his lips, he licks and kisses the taut skin until my back bows off the bed. James handles me with care but doesn’t treat me as though I may break.
Rolling to his back, he brings me with him, positioning me on top, giving me control. I take my time enjoying tracing every line of ink marking his chest with my fingers and tongue memorizing every detail. “You’re beautiful,” I tell him.
“Been called a lot of things but beautiful was never on the list.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” I go for his zipper, and he grabs my hips.
“Slow down. We’ve got the night.”
“I don’t want you changing your mind.”
“You sure?”
“I want this. With you. No one else.” Leaning forward I press my lips to his, tasting his tobacco and liquor deciding it’s my new favorite thing.
My bad ass biker squeezes my backside. “Then take these off, lover.”
I shimmy my jeans off my hips and down my thighs. With a little help from him, my denim goes sailing through the air, followed by his own. “Boxer briefs,” I note and straddle his crotch. Big and thick his cock grows harder when I grind against him. I should be nervous and maybe a little scared, but I’m not. I trust him. Whether he’s good or he’s bad, I know he’s meant to be mine. I don’t care what the consequences are. Life is a bitch and then you die. I’d rather have one night with him, one moment of happiness where I belong to James than be left with nothing at all. To be left with brutal memories and what ifs.
He cups me between my thighs. “Jesus, Lex. You’re fucking soaked.”
Rolling my hips, I press my body closer to his, wanting him to touch me there. Needing him to give me this one piece of him. To color my world with more than pain. To show me that when a man takes a woman it can be beautiful. That what we share, whatever our connection is...that he feels something for me.
“Gonna make you forget anyone ever touched you, but me.” Maybe it’s the liquor talking for him, but I don’t care. I’m getting my way. I know we’re being reckless and being with a man like him is dangerous for more than my heart. He’s a biker with the road name Murder, and he told me himself he’s used his hands to kill. The same fingers wrapped around my throat have taken a life, but he won’t hurt me.
Squeezing my throat, he gazes at me with such intensity. “So damn beautiful,” he whispers, his dark voice and lethal touch consuming me.
I suck two of his fingers into my mouth earning me a deep throaty growl.
“Gonna be the death of me, pretty girl. Fuckin’ ruining me.” He shoves me to my back and looms over me, spreading my legs wide, hooking those strong hands of a killer around the skimpy waistline of my panties. With little effort James rips the fabric clean off. Dipping his head, he presses his nose to my pussy and inhales my scent. Giving me a kiss there my filthy biker grins up at me from between my thighs. “Never tasted anything sweeter.”
My cheeks redden but its dark enough he can’t see or doesn’t notice. Eyes rolled to the ceiling, I grip the sheets and enjoy the ride. The wiry hairs of his beard tickling my thighs. The sweeping of his tongue against my sensitive skin. The firm hold of those rough hands on my hips. I take it all in. Taking the good he’s gifting me.
I need it.
I need him.
Ravishing my body with affection like I’ve never felt before, James doesn’t miss a beat, devouring me like his favorite dessert. The man has a way with his fingers and tongue. I can only imagine what else he can do.
I want it all.
I want him.
Under his touch, I unravel experiencing the greatest high as an orgasm rocks through me in heavy waves. Just when I think he’s going to stop he comes at me again, sucking my clit, and thrusting his fingers in and out me like a piston.
Trembling beneath him, I’m about to shatter into a million pieces. Back arching up, I tug on his dark hair, forcing his head up. “Take me, James. Make me yours.”
“You’ve been mine since the day I saw you in that little red bikini.” He slides up my body, planting kisses along the way, covering every bruise and bite with his own mark. Branding my body as his until he reaches my mouth and plunges his tongue between my lips tasting of my desire. One hand on my throat and the other on his cock, James holds my gaze. “So God damn pretty it hurts to look at you, Lex.” The head of thick erection kisses my pussy lips. Rubbing it back and forth he coats himself in my juices then lines up where I crave him the most.
I surge my hips up to meet his, forcing him deep inside as my body stretches to accommodate and accept the welcomed intrusion. “Fuck, baby.” His forehead drops to mine. His hot liquor and smoke tainted breath fanning over me. “So damn greedy and eager.” Lips crashing against mine, cock rooted in me, James makes love to me. I feel it and he does too. We’re tethered together for life. Us against the world. A world that will never understand the way I feel for him. How deep this love I’m feeling goes.
We’re one in the same him and I.
Misunderstood.
Unwanted.
We don’t belong anywhere but here.
His hard body melded to mine.
My damaged soul mating with his.
Two halves of one whole.
My motorcycle man.
His broken girl.
Slick with sweat our bodies rock moving together as though we’ve been through the motions a million times. Three small but powerful words hang on the tip of my tongue and die there. I know better. He can’t give me my unspoken prayer, but I want it anyway. That pretty fantasy where I’m his Old Lady and he’s my man. But outside of these walls it will never come to fruition. So for now I take what I can. A drunken mistake on his part, and a promise to love him forever tattooed on my heart.
We go at each other like savage beasts. Rolling around in the sheets, the headboard beating the wall, like it’s knocking on Heaven’s door or maybe the gates of Hell. There is nothing holy about our union. I know we are a million shades of fucked up and wrong, but it feels right. I’ve never felt more alive than I do here with him.
James thrusts harder and deeper, hitting me in all the right spots. My body hums like a live wire. I come alive for him, giving as good as I’m receiving.
Back on top I hold his palm to my heart showing him what my words can’t express. He owns me. I ride him fast then slow, repeating the rhythm until my body quakes, another orgasm rips through me. My lover knifes his hips up, cock jerking inside me, painting the walls of my pussy with his release.
When it’s over, he hugs me to his chest. Our bodies still connected. My pulse racing. His heartbeat thumping in my ear. Lips to my forehead he whispers, “I’m sorry, Lex. I should’ve been stronger.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t ruin this. I’ve never felt more alive than when you look at me, James. The little things you do. The brush of your fingertips on my cheek. The rhythm of your heart beating against mine. The way our bodies fit together perfectly. All the tiny fragments that add up and blend into the whole picture of you. I love you. I don’t care if that makes me a horrible person. No one has ever given a shit about me. Not until you. Tomorrow you can be sorry. You can hate me if you want, but not tonight. It belongs to me. You belong to me.”
“What if I don’t want it to end?”
I quirk a brow at him. “That you or the liquor talking?”
“Both.” His large hand cradles the back of my head and brings me in for a kiss so raw and beautiful my heart nearly beats out of my chest. He goes hard again inside me. Thumb pressed to my lips to silence me he has one request. “Get on your knees for me.”
I do what he wants even though it’s breaking me to do so. Being with him any other way I can do, but this...the position I was assaulted in has those flashes of torment I keep trying to bury rearing their ugly heads and vile threats. “You’re lucky to be alive.”
Dropping my head, I close my eyes as tears begin to fall. The bed shifts with his weight as he moves behind me. Biting my lip, I cry out when James presses down on me. I know he won’t hurt me. He’s not them. I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“This how they took you? Hold you down. Make you beg?”
“Shut up.”
“Got to face it, baby. Don’t give them that power over you. Take it back.”
“You weren’t there. You don’t understand.”
“I know I wasn’t. If I were, they’d already be dead.” Lips pressed to my spine, he traces the curve, dragging his lips slowly across my skin, rubbing me with his facial hair. “Never hurt you.” An arm goes around my middle, holding me up. I lay my head back on James’s shoulder, dropping my ass against his crotch and he slides right in. “This body is mine to take. You gave it to me, pretty girl.” Pulling both arms behind my back he binds them with his bandanna then shoves me forward again down on my knees, face and chest pressed into the mattress.
I draw in a sharp breath and focus on him and him alone.
“I know you think they broke you, but I’m putting you back together again.” His palm slaps my ass cheek, curving to hold me there as he thrusts deeper in. “Give it all to me. Your pain. Your beauty. Let go for me.” Teeth dragging across my shoulder he bites me. Not hard or rough but in a playful nip. Body slapping against mine he takes that horrible memory and turns it into dust. Giving me something good in its place.
Giving me all his beauty and sparks of color in a darkened and fucked up world that will never accept the way he makes me feel. I know I’ll love him forever. People will say I’m too young. They won’t understand. He sees the real me. The girl who hides behind the idea of who people expect me to be.
When others tell you who you are enough eventually you become that version of yourself even when it feels wrong.
But this isn’t wrong. This is who we are. Two wandering souls connecting in the only way we know how to. Skin to skin. Mouth to mouth. He ravishes my body, taking and taking until I have nothing left but my aching soul. With one final thrust he shudders and quakes, his cock jerking inside me, filling me completely.
Pulling out he rolls off the bed, unbinds my wrists, and brings me with him. In the bathroom, this man handles me with care, wiping away the remnants of his passion that’s running down my thighs. Neither of us speak. We don’t need to. We both know that I’d be happy if tomorrow never comes. After I fall onto the bed and he holds me close. Nothing passes between us except shallow breaths and unspoken promises of what can never be.
I lay with him, stroking my fingers along his skulls and roses that are inked over his chest. My bad man. My lover. My protector. He doesn’t know it, but I do...James—Murder...he’s gonna be my world.
Grabbing my hand, he threads his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles. “Get some sleep.”
I wish I could but I’m afraid that once I close my eyes this...him...we’ll disappear. He’ll be gone, and all it will have been is a fantasy that felt all too real.
I close my eyes and fall asleep quicker than I wanted to.
Morning comes too soon, returning us to reality. To a world where we can’t exist. But for one night I had everything I ever wanted, and it was all I dreamed it would be and more. I awaken with his heavy body curled around mine. Our legs tangled together. My cheek pressed to his tattooed chest. His heartbeat drumming a soothing melody in my ear. The only sound I want to hear forever.
The ringing of his cell phone interrupts our bliss. James curses under his breath, and I go to move away, but he holds me tighter. It’s unexpected but welcome. Part of me was afraid that we’d wake up and he’d be chock-full of liquid regret.
The ringing continues, sounding like a warning that our minutes together are fleeting.
“Should you get that?”
He grunts and slides away, tagging his phone from his jeans as he goes to the bathroom. I stay where I lay and pray that this isn’t all there is for us. If I lose him, I don’t know if I can survive. I’m not strong enough. I need him to save me from the monsters out there waiting to hurt me, but no one can hurt me more than I hurt myself but him.