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“I tell you I’ve met someone and that I want a divorce and all you can do is say okay? When did you stop loving me? When did you stop caring about our family?”
I shake my head. “I’m not in the mood for more of your shit. Enough with the fucking games, Ruthie. If you met someone who makes you happy then fucking go be with him.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. You want a divorce then I’ll give you one.”
“So that’s it.”
“What the hell do you want from me?”
“I want you to fight for me. To show me you give a damn. To tell me you’ll kill him or me. That you’ll never let me go.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not in love with you.”
“You’ve met someone else. That’s all there is to it.”
“No,” I lie. My mind flashes to Alexa. Someone I can’t have. Someone I shouldn’t want but crave. If Rochelle found out I don’t know how she’d react. Ruthie would take her far away and Lion would put a bullet between my eyes. That’s not going to happen though I can’t and won’t let it. Everything inside me screams in protest as I take a step toward Ruthie. “You want me to fight?” I grab her by the back of the head and tighten my grip, forcing her head to tilt.
“You loved me once,” she whispers.
“Is there another man or not? You know what I did the last time you fucked around on me.” I slit that fucker’s throat and Ruthie helped me dispose of the body.
She licks her lips. “I just wanted to make you mad. Wanted you to come home and pretend that you give a damn about me.”
“Is that blood on your shirt?”
“What?”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing for you to concern yourself with.” I let her go. “I gotta get a shower then head to the clubhouse.”
“You’re leaving already?”
“I’ll be back, and we can talk then.”
“I don’t want to wait till later we need to talk about this now.”
“Well wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills faster.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“But I’m the asshole you married for better or worse. Guess neither of us knew that the worst part would last us till death do us part, huh, sweetheart.”
“I hate you. I hate you.” She cries, punching at me as she sinks to her knees.
Black streaks of mascara trickle down her face. “What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Why are you so heartless?”
“You moved another man into my house. Had him play daddy to my kid. You tell me how I shoulda felt about that?”
“I said I was sorry. You can’t hold it against me forever.”
“Play stupid games, babe, you win stupid prizes. Yeah?”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means you ever think for a minute that it was you who should be fighting for me?”
“You’re right. I’m selfish and terrible. But I do love you, James. You’re Rochelle’s father.”
“Is that all I am to you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well when you figure it out you let me know.”
“I want things to go back to the way they were before all the bad,” she calls out as I close the bathroom door.
My life’s been nothing but bad since the first time I kissed her.
I hurry through my shower, I’m eager to personally deliver the news to Alexa that Todd is no longer breathing the same air as the rest of us. I exit the bathroom to find Ruthie in the bedroom. Candles lit, lined up on the dresser top. Soft music plays. She’s laying across the bed in a purple nightie. I take one look at her and feel nothing at all. She no longer resembles the girl I thought I loved when I was a stupid kid. Young, dumb, and full of come. Her dark hair rests on her shoulder, stick straight with a few highlights. Heavy makeup that makes her look old and worn. She never used to wear too much makeup. Back then she didn’t need it. Would look better now if she washed all that shit off her face. Still has a banging body though. I’ll give her that much. Hell, I paid for her to have a tummy tuck and get her tits done.
Bitch doesn’t do it for me. Looks like a damn plastic doll now, but it’s what she wanted to make herself feel good, and I didn’t want to deny her.
“You shouldn’t have gone to the trouble.”
“James...don’t you want to try? Rochelle needs us together. Before you know it, she’ll be off to college, and then it’ll be the two of us. We can get back to good.”
I should cross the room and go to her. She’s my wife. But I don’t love her. “Smells like desperation in here. Told you, I’m not playing your games. You can’t control me with sex. I’m not fifteen anymore. You sure as shit aren’t either.”
“Who is she?”
“None of your fuckin’ business.”
“James...please.” Ruthie hops up off the bed, her fake titties popping out the see-through purple lace. “Let me show you that I do care. That we’re worth saving.” Bitch drops to her knees and wraps her arms around my leg. “Don’t leave.”
I breathe out heavily through my nostrils. “I don’t have time for this. I got somewhere to be.” I bend down to pull her arms off me. “Stop embarrassing yourself.”
“You told me to fight.” She cries. And scratches my jaw, digging her nails in so damn deep it burns.
I grab her up by the hair, sling her on the bed, and undo my belt. “This how you want me? Rough and unfeeling, babe. Want me to act like a monster for you?”
“I want you to take your pants off and make love to me.”
“I can fuck you but there’s no love between us. Roll over. I don’t want to see your face.”
Ruthie rolls to her stomach and sticks her ass in the air. I’m not even hard, but I unzip and start stroking my length, thinking about Alexa and her pretty red lips. The way she gazes at me as though I’m her white knight instead of a demon from the pits of hell. I’m no hero. No saint, but when she stares at me with them pretty green eyes I feel as though I could be saved.
My cock grows erect, and I part Ruthie’s thighs. I don’t want her body or her heart. I slide inside her wishing she were someone else and hating myself for wanting what I can’t have.
“Yes,” Ruthie hisses.
I jerk her head back and clamp a palm to her lips. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t want to hear you either.” She nods, and I grip her shoulder, driving into her harder and harder, closing my eyes and remembering how good Alexa felt when she gave herself to me.
The sweet part of her lips and thighs so ready to be owned by me. The taste of her on my tongue. Fuck. I pull out and beat the head of my dick against the crack of Ruthie’s ass, to finish getting off.
“That’s it?” she seethes as I tuck back into my jeans.
I shrug and she flies at me like a crazy bearcat. Scratching and hitting anywhere she can connect with me. I wrap my arms around her, caging her in. her body sags against mine. “You gonna stop,” I murmur in her ear.
“I swear to you, James, if I find out who you’re fucking I’ll tell my father, and he’ll cut out her heart and make you eat it while I watch.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart. I’m a heartless bastard. Bitches I stick my dick in to get it wet don’t matter to me. No more than you do.” I let her go. “Don’t wait up.”
“If you leave, I’ll tell my father you hit me.”
“Think I’m scared of your old man? One day he won’t be around to protect you. Then what will you do?”
Ruthie flings herself onto the bed and punches the mattress like a damn toddler pitching a fit. I leave her to wallow in her own misery. I slam the door and see Rochelle’s light is on. I pray she didn’t hear. I stop at her doorway and peer in at her to see her asleep with her headphones in. Probably to drown out her mother and me. I flick her light off.
“Sleep tight, princess.” I shut her door and go out to climb on my Road King, roaring off into the night toward Alexa.