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“No fair. Why do you get an apartment?” Rochelle pouts, and Colter shoots me a knowing but sympathetic smile as he drops my last box on the kitchen counter. We’ve seen each other in passing at The Devil’s Playground. The clubhouse of the Royal Bastards MC. He knows all about my secrets I’m sure.
Rochelle doesn’t know her grandfather raped me nor that her own father killed him for what he did to me. Ruthie wants her kept as far away from the club as possible. She made me promise not to tell her, but one day she will find out. She’s dating Colter, and I hate keeping this a secret from her. She’s happy with him. I just hope that when the truth does come out that she’ll accept my being with James. That she’ll be happy we found each other.
Ruthie brings in my new bedding. It makes me feel super shit that the wife of the man I’m sleeping with is decorating my apartment. James told me to smile and go on. Said that one day things will change, and we’ll be together for real. I want to believe that with all my heart. I trust him. It’s just sometimes they share these looks I’m not part of. They whisper, and she’ll smile at him the way I do.
I keep wondering what she would have done had I confessed the truth when she asked me if I were fucking her husband. Would she have washed her hands of him? Would she have fought me for him?
“Alexa, James and the guys will be here in about fifteen minutes with the last of your furniture. If you don’t need anything else, I’m going to take Rochelle out for lunch. Some mother daughter time.” Pain flashes behind her eyes, and I realize she must be taking her out to break the news that her grandfather is gone.
“I’m all good. Call me later, Ro?”
“I’ll probably be back over. No way is my bestie getting her own apartment without me.”
“Slow down. Your dad isn’t ready to let you fly from the nest just yet.” Ruthie guides her daughter toward the door.
“You coming with us, Colter?” Rochelle grins at him and my stomach drops. That joy on her face is about to be snuffed out.
“No,” Ruthie answers first. “It’s just you and me today, kiddo.”
“Dad wants me here to help carry the heavy shit.” He flexes his muscles, and I roll my eyes.
“Catch up with me after then?”
“You know it, babe.”
“All right enough of that. Let’s go, Ro.”
They leave and I start to work on unpacking the kitchen stuff Ruthie gave me. She said it gives her an excuse to get new stuff for hers. Colter’s gaze pierces through me. “What?” I look over at him and he shifts his focus out the kitchen window to the parking lot.
“They’re here.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
He scrubs a palm over his head, then pulls his dark hair back to show off the shaved sides. “How long are you going to lie to them?”
I stare at the floor. “I don’t like doing it.” I meet his gaze, hating the judgment being thrown back at me. “She’s my best friend, but you need to understand that I love him.”
“Doesn’t make it right.”
“I never said that it did. Are you going to tell her?”
He scowls. “No. It’s not my place, and I don’t want to be the one to hurt her like that. I’ll leave that to you. I’ll be there for her when it’s all said and done. But you need to tell her.”
“I know that. I just can’t. Not yet.”
He nods and the front door opens. I smile at James and hope he can’t tell its forced. “Someone order a couch?”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to.” He enters followed by Colter’s dad, Papa. If I didn’t know better, I would swear they are brothers. Both of them are tall and muscular but not in that body builder way. They’re lean and tone. Tattoos of dark elements. Reapers. There is something otherworldly about them. I can’t put my finger on it.
“Colter,” his dad calls him over. “Let’s get this furniture moved and there might be some date money in it for you. We passed Ruthie and Rochelle on our way in. Your girl mentioned wanting to go to a movie.” He wraps an arm around his neck and roughs up his hair.
They disappear out the door.
“Shouldn’t you be helping them?”
“I will but first, I’ve been dying to do this for days.” Stepping into my space, his hand cups my jaw, then he kisses me soft and slow. It’s been two weeks since everything went down with Lion. James has been busy being named the new Prez of the Royal Bastards. I don’t know the details because well its club business. I only know he’s been taking a lot of meetings and cleaning up Lion’s mess.
Then there’s Ruthie. I know she’s suspicious, and we have to tread carefully. I mostly worried about Rochelle. I told her that I thought he was hot once and she pinched me so hard I had a blood blister.
Breaking away, he grins at me. “Things are going to be different, Lex. You’ll see, baby. This is just the beginning.” I pray he’s right. I don’t know how much more bad I can handle. “I better go help.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “You do that.” I kiss him again.
It didn’t take them long to bring up the couch and get my bed set up. Colter and Papa are gone and now it’s just James and me. I collapse on the couch, and he drops next to me, slinging an arm around me. His lips meet my forehead and I let out a happy sigh. I wish this meant he’d be living with me. I know better though a girl can dream.
I stare at the kitchen and imagine myself preparing him dinner and him coming in after a long day with the club. I’d have him a cold beer waiting next to his plate. He’d smile at me and tell me about his day over dinner.
Someday we’ll have that.
One day we won’t have to hide our love.
One day I’ll be his Old Lady, and he’ll be my man for real.
His cell phone goes off. I shift so he can dig it out of his pocket. Mouth turned down he swipes a finger across the screen. “Yeah? Just finishing up putting this shelf in the closet. I’m almost done. Gimme’ about ten minutes. I’ll get it. That bad, huh? Right.” He pauses. “Love you too.”
I stiffen at his words. Hearing him say what I long to hear so freely to her hurts more than I want it to. The call ends and he goes to his feet.
“You’re leaving, already?”
“Yeah, Ro isn’t taking the news of her grandpa that great and Ruthie needs me to grab her favorite ice cream on my way home.”
“Of course.” I attempt to smile, but I know he sees through me.
“What’s wrong, babe? You not like the apartment or something?”
“It’s fine. Great really. I just I’ve missed you is all. I feel like I never see you.”
“I’ll come back later tonight or in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t be a brat. You know I’ve got a family.”
“Then you should go. Don’t let me keep you.” I lick my lips and he looms over me, dropping his knees to the cushion on either side of me.
“You know I’d stay if I could.”
“You gotta go. I understand.” I turn my head to stare at the wall, folding my arms across my chest.
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“Babe, you’re totally pouting.”
“Am not.”
“Fucking are too.” He grabs my chin and jerks my face toward him. “Give me a kiss. I gotta ride out.”
“I’m sure Ruthie’d be glad to.”
“Fuck,” he groans and goes to get up.
I grab his arm. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you aren’t but you can make it up to me before I go.” He places my hand over his crotch. “Want in that mouth.” He undoes his zipper. “And don’t fucking tell me to go home to Ruthie for it.”
I lean back on the couch and yank his jeans from his hips. His erection juts in my face and he rubs the head over my lips. Tongue darting out, I taste the saltines of him.
I part my lips as he grips the back of my head. “Open wider. Good girl,” he praises me, and all those bad feelings slip away.
If loving him were a religion, down on my knees worshiping his cock is how I'd pray.
My mouth burns, stretching to accommodate his girth.
“God damn, pretty girl. That feels good.” He tugs my head back to glide in and out slowly. I flatten my tongue against him and suck. James makes love to my mouth. I’m lost to him. There isn’t anything I would do for this man. My heart is so full I could burst.
He works his cock in out slow then fast building the tempo with each time he passes between my lips, hitting the back of my throat. I gag on him. Tears burn in the crease of my eyes ready to fall any moment now. He pulls out, smearing precum over my lips.
“You gonna swallow like a good girl for me?”
I nod and murmur, “yes,” wrapping my lips around him again.
“Fuck.” His phone goes off again. “So damn close.” He freezes and goes for his phone. “What?” he barks at whoever is on the other end. “I said I would. When I get there.” He ends the call and slings the phone. “Let’s test out that new mattress.” James kicks off his boots and drops his jeans. He loses his shirt somewhere between the living room and bedroom. Laying back on the bed he holds his cock up. “Get up here and ride me till I come.”
I undress quickly. Sinking down on him. I roll my hips, moving side to side in slow motion. “Was that your wife again?”
My man slaps me on the ass. “Shut up and keep doing that right there. Last thing I want to think about when I’m inside you is another woman.”
I smile big at that. Using his shoulder for leverage, I bend forward to kiss him. His breath fans over my lips. “You taste like my cock.”
“Then I guess I better not kiss anyone else tonight.”
He shoves me to my back and moves into missionary position, settling between my legs to guide himself in once more. “You go around kissing anyone else and I’ll kill them.”
“That a warning?” I gasp when he smacks my clit.
“No. It’s a fuckin’ promise. Don’t toy with me and say stupid shit like that, Lex. Not now. Not ever. This pussy.” Thrust. “Belongs.” Thrust. “To me,” he says breathily, his warmth spreading through me as he gets off. Lips to mine, James kisses me briefly and rolls away. “Gotta go.”
I flop down on the bed wearing a pout.
He smirks. “Yeah. I owe you one. I’ll take care of you next time.”
“You’re not coming back?”
“Probably not with the way Ruthie is breathing down my neck.”
“She asked me you know...about us. I told her there was nothing going on of course.”
“She believe you?”
I shrug. “I guess so. She did buy all this new stuff.”
“Right. I’ll call you.” He starts out of the bedroom.
“James?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“I love you.”
He fucking winks at me in response, but he told Ruthie on the phone. My heart cracks, and it takes everything in me not to cry. My bottom lip wobbles. I hear him cursing under his breath in the living room. Part of me wants to scream at him and tell him not to come back while the other half wants to beg him to stay. All I want is three words, and he refuses to give them to me.