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“The fuck you think you’re doing?” James grips me by the elbow and drags me into one of the private lounges of Lion’s Den, the strip club I’ve been dancing at to support Wylla Mae and me.
My heart leaps to my throat at the sight of him. I’ve done as he said. I’ve stayed away. I’ve not asked him for anything. I used the account he set up for me a few times out of basic necessity until I started working here. I never thought I’d be in this situation. Taking my clothes off and flashing my tits and ass for a little cash. I have a daughter to support though, and for her I’ll do whatever it takes to give her the world.
“What’s it look like? I’m trying to earn money to take care of my daughter.”
“She’s my kid too.”
“Ha.” I laugh in his face as he backs me up until the backs of my knees hit the couch. “My daughter doesn’t need a damn thing you got to offer her. Why don’t you run on home to Ruthie and play house?”
He grabs my chin, his gaze burning with fury. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Right. Okay. I heard you’re having another kid. Congratulations.” Some members of his club stop in often and Mitzi, one of the dancers who has taken me under her wing fucks Nickel. She doesn’t know James is the father of my child, but she loves to gossip.
“What happened to you, Lex? This...” his hand rubs down my side, and I shiver. “Taking off your clothes for money... I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to like it. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. You gave up the right when you signed your rights to my kid away. I got your papers.” They were stuck under the door of my apartment. When I saw that he signed his rights away that was it. The last shred of hope I had that we’d be together gone. He’s proven he’ll never change his ways and that he doesn’t give a shit about us.
“What papers?”
“Oh, you know what. Fuck you.”
“Fuck me?”
“Yeah.” I get back in his face. “Fuck. You. Murder.”
“Fuck me?” he growls, and I shrink back, falling onto the black leather couch.
He looms over me all broody and still the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. Those dangerous dark eyes bore into me. Warmth tingles through my veins and to regions I wish wouldn’t get excited by his presence, but I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t attracted to him. I look for him in every man I meet. It hurts to admit that, but it’s true. He’s all I will ever want, and I hate that I do. Want him. I try so hard not to think about him, but it’s hard when I look into my daughter’s brown eyes and see his reflecting back at me.
“I hate you. I hate you so much I need a new word for how much.”
“You don’t hate me, Lex.” He jerks my legs apart and grabs me between the thighs. “You’re just mad because I’m not yours to fuck anymore, but I’m feeling generous tonight.” His hand moves to his belt.
“What are you doing?” I try to move but he holds me in place with one hand while undoing his jeans with the other.
“Gonna fuck you, baby. Give you some dick so maybe you’ll lose the attitude and remember who you belong to.”
“Stay away from me.”
“You know you want it. Fucking soaked and panting for it.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Miss you, pretty girl. Miss the feel of you. The way you’d cry out and beg me for this cock.”
“I’m not having sex with you.” I shove against his chest, and he doesn’t even budge an inch. No, he rips my fishnet stockings and yanks my thong clean off.
“Been months since I’ve been inside you. Months since I’ve felt peace. And one look at you, and all my anger and pain fades right away. Why is that? Only thing that can bring me any peace is you?”
“I don’t give a damn what you think you feel or know. I’m not yours, and I never will be again.”
“You’ll always be mine, Lex.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Shit is complicated.” He slides a finger inside me, and I melt at the connection. My eyes roll back in my head when he adds a second digit to the mix. “There’s my girl,” he grits, coming in for a kiss.
I roll my lips inward to deny him, but my body hums for him. Craves his touch.
“Playing hard to get?”
“No. Stop it. I’m not yours. I don’t want this. I don’t want you.” I push at his shoulders.
“Liar. So full of shit they can smell you in Kentucky. Kiss me,” he demands. His liquor tainted breath washes over me.
“Eat shit.”
“How about I eat your sweet cunt instead?” he drops to his knees to worship me. Rubbing his face between my legs he kisses my clit, sucking the sensitive skin. “Fuck, Lex. Best pussy.” Squeezing my tit as I try to wiggle away from him, he ignores my cries of protest. “God damn, I don’t know what I’ve missed more. Eating you till you come or you riding me till I blow.”
His filthy talk shouldn’t set my soul on fire, but it does.
He strokes himself with one hand and plays with my pussy with the other. Can’t fight it or deny it. As fucked up as it is, I want him. I want him so bad I could cry. Against my better judgment I lay back and stop resisting. Getting a grip on his hair I ride his fingers while he tongues my clit until I come. I’ve not been with anyone since him. Tanner tried. He was patient and sweet, but eventually his patience gave out and he took off.
“That’s it, Lex. You don’t want me. Don’t like it when I do this either, right?” He grins then laps at my pussy, licking me like he can’t get enough.
I’m still in the throes of my orgasm when he snakes up my body and shoves his thick cock inside me. A shudder and jolt ripples through him as my pussy contracts around his dick.
“Fuck, baby. Fuck. Nothing better. So damn good. Your pretty little pussy curves to my dick.” And then he’s moving fast and furious, fucking me as if his life depends on it.
We’re feral animals rutting. Heavy grunts pass between us. Teeth nipping and tasting. Sweat dripping, blood pumping, bodies slapping together in a rhythm that’s erotic and primal. He kisses me hard and deep. I hate myself for loving him. For loving how well our bodies fit. How he knows what buttons to push. How to play my body.
I wish I could be stronger, but when it comes to this man, I’d do almost anything he asks of me just to be with him. I’m pathetic. I lift my hips, seeking him out, wanting him to go deeper and harder.
“No more dancing, Lex.”
I go still. I found one thing I won’t give him. “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
He draws out and slams back in. “Promise me.”
“Get off.” I press against his chest.
“I don’t like it. Don’t want my brothers staring at you and imagining fucking what’s mine.”
My hand flies up and whips across his cheek.
Nostrils flaring, he wraps a hand around my throat and gives me a squeeze in warning. “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
I gasp. Tears sprint down my cheeks, hot and fast as though they are racing. “Let me up.”
“You’re mine, Lex. Told you I’m a possessive bastard. We’re through when I say, and I didn’t fucking say.” Murder fucks me harder than before as though he needs to remind me or possibly punish me.
Our gazes meet. He gives me his imperfectly perfect smile then pulls out to finish on my belly. Dropping his forehead to mine he holds still a beat before pushing away.
“I’m not gonna stop ya know. I don’t need you or your false promises. I can take care of myself. Like always.”
“Lex...I.” he drops his head then snaps it back up in a flash. Intense and snarling, his eyes narrow on me. Angers pours from his stare, rolling off him in waves. “I warned you. You’re in my fucking world. You don’t get to decide when you leave. If I want to fuck you, you’ll spread them legs for me. If I give you money, I expect you to spend it on my God damned kid.”
I jump up and grab a tissue from the side table to wipe my stomach off. “I’m going to say this one more time. I’m not your property. Wylla Mae is my daughter. She doesn’t belong to you. You don’t know her. You’ve never held her. Fed her. Changed her. You know nothing about what it’s like for us. You wanna fuck someone...go get one of your whores at your clubhouse. Or better yet why don’t you go home to your wife you’re so devoted to and ask her how my pussy tastes, huh?”
In one swift movement he’s back in my face, hand on my throat again. “I should just knock you up again.”
“I’m not Ruthie,” I grit in his face, holding back my tears. “Go home to your pregnant wife and stay the hell out of my life. I don’t want you. I don’t need you and I sure as fuck don’t love you. Leave me alone, Murder.”
“Not till you get it through your head that this is the way shit’s gonna be until I say otherwise. Anyone touches what’s mine...” he grabs me between the legs again. “I’ll fucking kill them. Behave accordingly. Don’t fuck around on me. Do as your told.”
“I’ll fuck anyone I want when I want.”
“Babe, you’re really pissing me the fuck off.”
“Get used to it.” I jerk away from him and stomp down the hall to the dressing groom. Screw him. I don’t need this shit. Not from him. Not after everything we’ve been through in the past year.