‘Let me get this right. You saw Bannen in town with Mawgan Cade?’
Cal stops dead when I deliver the news on Tuesday morning while unloading the delivery of craft beers and cider we’ve ordered for the Harbour Lights Festival a week on Friday. After I got a cab back from St Trenyan last night, I lay awake into the small hours, wondering whether to tell him about Kit, because it will only feed his prejudices, but decided it was one secret I couldn’t keep to myself.
‘Yes, in Sharky’s, that new bar off Fore Street.’
‘What the hell were they doing in there?’
‘Drinking together, I suppose. That’s the point. I don’t really know. I didn’t see him for more than a few seconds, but it definitely was him.’
‘And he was definitely with Mawgan, he didn’t just happen to have rocked up next to her at the bar by a piece of terrible luck?’
‘No. He walked into the place with her and they seemed chatty enough – according to Tamsin.’
Cal hisses. ‘My God. So they’re seeing each other?’
‘I don’t know about that. He didn’t exactly have his hand on her bum or anything, or at least he didn’t from the brief glimpses Tamsin got of him.’
‘Mmm. Did he see you?’
‘I don’t think so.’
He humphs and drags his fingers through his messy hair. He looks tired, but I’m hardly the brightest bunny myself after burning the candle at both ends for the past few weeks and partying last night. Tamsin and I went on to another bar, then for pizza and then to St Trenyan’s only club. I spent half the time wondering if Mawgan and Kit might walk in, but there was no sign of them. Cal was still up when I got home. I saw the lights on in the study window of Kilhallon House and it was after midnight. I crawled into bed, and was so tired that I didn’t even have the energy to push Mitch off my bed. Then I lay awake, wondering the same things as Cal.
‘He might have just bumped into her in town, you know. He is entitled to go out for a drink,’ I say.
Call rolls his eyes. ‘No one just bumps into Mawgan uninvited.’
‘She could have picked him up in the pub or a cafe. Stranger things have happened,’ I say, not believing it myself.
‘Yeah … but he’s not her type, surely?’
‘And she’s not his type.’
‘I don’t know what type he is …’ says Cal sharply then, as if he’s regretted his tone, adds, ‘In fact, we don’t really know what he actually does all day, do we?’
‘Writes his book, I suppose, and he goes out running and walking. He used to pop into the cafe and work on his laptop over a coffee, but he hasn’t been over lately. Funnily enough, he never has that much to say to me now.’ Yes, there is sarcasm in that comment, but I don’t care. Cal asked for it.
‘He never says anything to me at all and it didn’t look like he had nothing to say on Sunday morning. I saw you chatting to him for ages outside the cafe.’
‘Not for ages, it was just for a few minutes while I cleared the tables and he was only asking whether he could have a packed lunch while he went on a walk. In fact, he’s hardly spoken to me more than a couple of times since Mitch was lost in the fog. Anyway, how do you know? Have you been spying on me?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘You’re being paranoid. I never spy on people.’
I snort.
‘Don’t start a fight.’
‘Me? You started it when you warned Kit to back off from me after Mitch went missing and broadcasted to the world that we were sleeping together.’
He looks at me with those intense dark eyes and I have to admit, longing stirs low in my stomach. ‘Were sleeping together is the problem,’ he says softly. ‘I really miss you, Demi. Come back to the house. Polly knows now, so there’s no need to sneak about. We can’t go on avoiding each other and not talking about it.’ He continues the Cal brooding stare and my knees almost go weak. Almost.
‘What’s “it” meant to be?’
‘You know what “it” is. It’s the elephant in the room. Me asking you to move in with me. I’m sorry I misjudged things between us.’ He groans in frustration. ‘Hell, I wish I’d never mentioned it. Now all I want is for us to go back to the way things were. You in my bed, the banter, the cheek, the hot sex.’
My skin tingles at the prospect of being back in Cal’s bed. Of lying next to that warm, hard body. Waking up next to him, hot and naked and …
‘Stop. Don’t do it. Things can’t be the same.’
‘Why not? Because I tried to move things too fast for you?’
‘No. OK, yes, but my reasons aren’t only that things have moved too quickly between us. It’s also the way you announced it in front of Kit, like you wanted to prove a point to him.’
He groans. ‘Kit. Bloody Kit! What is it with him? Why does he matter so much to you? And I was right to be wary. There is something going on with him. It can’t be a coincidence he was with Mawgan, you have to admit that much.’
‘No. It might not be a coincidence but – Cal, can we drop this for now?’
‘Fine by me. I can think of way better things to do than talk about Bannen, anyway.’
My lips clamp shut. I don’t know what to say. I’m still angry with him even as feelings stir that I can’t suppress, making my blood heat and my senses zing. I don’t think I’ve felt fully alive since our row. I’d love to take him upstairs right now and strip him naked and feel that gorgeous body against mine. I’d love to melt into him and spend half the night making love and wake up, exhausted and happy all afternoon.
‘It’s a bad idea. We can’t.’
‘You mean you can’t handle it. Can’t handle me?’
‘Of course I can handle you!’
‘Then do it.’ He grabs my hand and places it over his groin. ‘You want me now.’
I snatch my hand away but not fast enough not to know exactly what he means. I feel the same way, shaky with lust for him but also furious. ‘Stop it. Someone will see us out here.’
‘Like Kit? Do you really care what he thinks of us now you’ve seen him snogging Mawgan?’
‘He wasn’t snogging her. He was listening to her. That’s all I saw.’
Cal raises his eyebrows. ‘Listening? You mean encouraging her?’
‘He definitely wasn’t kissing her, but she wanted to kiss him. An idiot could see that, but…’
‘But what?’
I picture the scene in Sharky’s again. Mawgan leaning over the table, drooling over Kit like Mitch does over a piece of steak. Kit leaning in on one hand, very close to Mawgan. I couldn’t see his expression from behind but you can’t mistake body language like that.
‘I suppose he could have been flirting with her, in a way.’
‘What way?’
‘Paying her attention, leaning in towards her, as if she was the only girl in the room …’ My voice trails off because Cal is giving me a look that says he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I hate him for his smugness, but he is right. Kit Bannen was behaving the same way with Mawgan that he has done with me sometimes. Even the way I’ve seen him with Polly.
‘You know he could be as manipulative as Mawgan, but way more clever and subtle.’
‘That’s going too far. I agree there’s something odd about him knowing Mawgan, but I don’t think he’s manipulative and I still think he could easily have met her by chance and she pounced on him.’
‘Yes, but why?’
‘Because he’s good-looking and charming and hot in a blond way and he’s an author.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You asked.’
‘It was a rhetorical question, I didn’t expect an answer.’
‘Well, you got one so it serves you right.’
We’re face to face, sparring like fighters in a boxing match. My heart’s pounding, Cal’s glaring down at me, bristling with frustration. Has he forgotten that it was him who said he didn’t want to talk about Kit any more, yet he can’t help himself.
‘Demi.’
‘Sorry, Cal. I have a hundred and one things to do. I run a business. So do you, and we ought to remember that.’
The crunch is: our row has reminded me that if it all goes wrong with Cal, even more than it has already, Demelza’s will be all I have. No matter what happens, after all the work I’ve put in, I’m determined not to lose that too.