Startled by his comment, Ellie was aware of Reuben’s continued gaze on her as she cuddled his son. She would have thought he would blame her for Ethan’s injury. After all, she’d given Ethan the spoon. But instead of complaining, he’d given her praise. Surprised, she couldn’t look at him, preferring instead to focus on the child in her arms. Reuben already churned up enough odd feelings within her she found disturbing.
She hugged his son, smoothed a gentle touch across his sore thigh, then placed a kiss on his forehead. As Ethan laid his head on her shoulder, Ellie blew against his neck, the raspberry sound making him laugh. She grinned. The little boy giggled as she repeatedly blew against his neck until she was stopped by her own laughter.
Reuben stood, moved past her to put their empty bowls in the sink. Then he paused near her shoulder. She tensed but forced herself to meet his gaze. There was surprising warmth in his blue eyes. She relaxed briefly, only to become startlingly aware of the tension she felt. A soft smile curved the man’s lips and suggested he enjoyed watching the interaction between her and Ethan. She returned his smile before bending to blow another kiss in the crease of his baby’s neck.
Reuben ran a hand gently across her shoulder as he reached to tickle Ethan. Ellie’s breath caught, but Ethan laughed, the merry sound infectious. She grinned. It felt wonderful to laugh. The little boy put his arms about her neck. When he placed his head on her shoulder, Ellie melted.
“Hey, little one,” she said softly. “Feel better enough to eat?”
“What will you feed him?” Reuben asked.
“I brought a box of cereal.”
“Dry cereal?” He looked surprised. “He can eat that?”
Her gaze went soft. “Ja. Didn’t Sarah give him finger food?” She raised Ethan high and tickled him by rubbing her nose onto his belly. The boy giggled and clutched the top of her head, nearly pulling off her prayer kapp. Ellie gently caught the little hand in time.
Reuben was silent. He appeared troubled.
“Reuben?” she said softly. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know much about my son,” he admitted with concern.
“You know enough.” She hesitated. “You’re a gut vadder. Ethan is happy and comfortable in your arms.” She caressed the little one’s cheek. “Children don’t come with directions. We do the best we can.” She smiled at him. “You’ve been working hard. You mustn’t worry because you can’t anticipate every one of Ethan’s needs.”
He stared at her with a frown. She saw emotion briefly flicker across his expression, then disappear. His demeanor changed. “I must get back to work,” he said crisply.
Then he left the house so abruptly that she gaped at the back of him as he made his escape.
Minutes later, Ellie heard footsteps going upstairs. He must have come in the front door with whatever supplies he needed. She tried to forget the awkward moment between them, concentrating on Ethan instead. She hugged the boy close before setting him on the quilt and taking his cereal from a cupboard. Reuben needed a high chair for Ethan, but until he bought one, she’d sit at the table with the child on her lap. She poured a small of amount of cereal on the table within Ethan’s reach and was rewarded when he grabbed and shoved a piece in his mouth.
After lunch, she laid him down for a nap in the great room, then washed and dried the lunch dishes. Once Ethan fell asleep, Ellie took a moment to sit quietly before planning supper for Reuben so that he had something to reheat when he was hungry.
It was late afternoon when Reuben finally came downstairs. He entered the kitchen, then stopped abruptly, as if he’d forgotten she was there. “What are you doing?” he asked politely. “Something smells delicious.”
Warmed by the compliment, Ellie turned away from the stove to face him. “I made chicken potpie to reheat when you’re ready. If you’re hungry now, you can eat it while it’s hot.”
He looked tired as he ran a hand through his blond hair. “I just need a moment to clean up.”
She managed a smile for him. “I’ll ladle you a bowlful. I take it you like chicken potpie?”
He nodded. “Ja, although I haven’t had any in...”
“Since your parents moved to Ohio?” she guessed.
His brows furrowed. “Much longer than that.” He narrowed his gaze. “What do you know about my parents?”
She shrugged, ignoring his terseness. “Just what Sarah told me. That they moved to Ohio to live closer to your mudder’s eldre. Your sister stayed behind to help with Ethan.”
Reuben was silent a long moment. “’Tis true.” He sighed. “But I should have made her go. She’s too young to take so much responsibility.”
“She loves you and Ethan. She’s happy to help.”
He approached and stared into the pot while she stirred. “I need a wife,” he murmured. “My son needs a mother.”
Ellie tensed. She picked Ethan up and gave him to his father. “You want to fall in love and marry again?”
“Nay, I’ll marry but I won’t fall in love.”
“You’d wed without love?”
“I’d wed for Ethan.” He combed his fingers through Ethan’s fine baby hair. “But love? Nay. I don’t want or need it.”
What woman would agree to such an arrangement? “I see.” She glanced out the window to see her sister pulling the family buggy close to the house. Ellie reached for her satchel on the other end of the counter. “I have to go. Charlie’s here.”
It was important that she be on hand to help her mother. Soon Charlie would be married and it would be up to Ellie, the only daughter who’d be left at home, to make her parents’ lives easier.
She felt Reuben watching her as she picked up her bag, was conscious of him as he followed her out of the house. Charlie waved and called out to him. Ellie glanced back briefly to see Reuben wave back. She studied father and son. His arms circling Reuben’s neck, Ethan was happy to be held by his father.
She stowed her bag in the back of the buggy, then climbed onto the front seat. With a last look in his direction as Charlie pulled away, Ellie wondered how a man who obviously loved his son could dismiss love in marriage so easily. What woman would be happy to be married to such a man and not fall in love with him? And with his son? Her thoughts in turmoil, Ellie was silent as they headed for home.
“You’re quiet. Everything oll recht?” Charlie asked.
Ellie managed a smile. “Ja, Ethan and I had a gut day.”
“I can watch Ethan for you tomorrow if you need me to.”
“Danki.”
Early the next morning Ellie drove her sister to the Reuben Miller house before heading to her first cleaning job. Reuben had to work on a new construction site, and he needed someone to stay with Ethan. She longed to stay but couldn’t. Her cleaning business would keep her occupied until noon, if not later.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and watch Ethan?” Charlie asked as she eyed her knowingly.
“I can’t,” Ellie told her. “I’ve two jobs to do today, but I’ll come as soon as possible to relieve you.”
Charlie smiled. “I don’t mind watching him for the day if you can’t get away.”
But I mind, Ellie thought. She wanted to spend time with the little boy. She loved Ethan. It was hard not to fall for the sweet, delightful child. She wished she could stay. She was fast losing her desire to clean house for Englishers, but until she gave it up after Charlie married, she had clients to keep happy. “I appreciate your help, Charlie.” She changed the subject. “How are the haus renovations coming?”
Her sister grinned. “Wunderbor! Nate’s been working hard on them while still helping his dat on the farm.” A dreamy look entered her sister’s expression. “I’m going to love living there.”
“Especially with Nate,” Ellie said with a grin.
Her sisters were blessed to have found good men they loved and respected. Someday, she hoped to be as blessed. She wanted a man who loved her. A husband who wanted to be her life’s partner and raise a family with her.
Not everyone was as lucky in love, she thought with sadness. Reuben had loved and lost. He’d suffered so much that he couldn’t bear marrying for love again. But he’d marry for Ethan.
Ellie could never marry a man who didn’t love her. Even if the man was handsome, kind and a good father. Something shifted inside her breast. Reuben Miller possessed all the attributes of a good life partner. But he would offer friendship only. For herself, she wanted more.
Thank the Lord that she was immune to such a man.
The house loomed ahead. Ellie switched on the battery-run blinker before she steered her vehicle onto Reuben’s driveway. The spare high chair that had been left unused in what had previously been Leah’s bedroom was on the backseat. Charlie had insisted they bring it despite Reuben’s objection, and Ellie wasn’t going to argue with her sister. Would he be angry?
She parked the buggy and got out while her sister climbed out the other side. Charlie took out the chair. Ellie looked toward the house but didn’t see Reuben.
“You look nervous. He really doesn’t want this chair?” Charlie said knowingly.
Ellie released a heavy breath. “Nay. He doesn’t.” Her lips firmed. “But maybe you can convince him otherwise.” She studied the chair. “Do you need help with it?”
“Nay, I can manage it on my own.”
Ellie watched Charlie cart the chair up to the side door, then set it down on the stoop to knock. The door opened. Reuben flashed her sister a smile. He saw the chair and quickly reached out to take it from her. Charlie waved at her, and Ellie turned to leave, but not before catching the thunder in Reuben’s expression.
“So you’re angry with me and not Charlie?” Ellie murmured as she climbed into her vehicle. Learn to live with it, she thought as she picked up the leathers and steered the horse toward her first cleaning job of the day.
Reuben carried in the high chair. “Where do you want it?”
“Close to the kitchen table,” Charlie said, watching with unreadable green eyes.
“What?” he said once he’d set up the chair.
“You’re upset with my sister. She said you would be.” The young woman regarded him thoughtfully.
“I told her that I didn’t want it. I can buy a chair for my son.”
Charlie nodded. “I understand, but why not use this one until you do?” She left the room but came back within seconds with Ethan on her hip. “She didn’t want to bring it and upset you, Reuben.” She smiled at his baby as she buckled him into the chair and slid the tray close to his body. “I was the one who insisted.”
Reuben felt his gut wrench. “You?”
She crossed her arms as she faced him. “Ja, me. Ellie wanted to honor your wishes, but I—we—need a place to keep him safe while we feed him. He’s old enough to sit on his own.”
“Charlie—”
“You owe her an apology,” she said. “I don’t understand why you dislike accepting help.”
“I’ve accepted yours and Ellie’s,” he pointed out. “With Ethan.”
Charlie gave him a smile. “Ja. You should probably get to work or you’ll be late.”
“I...danki, Charlie.”
Her lips curved. “We’ll take gut care of your son.”
“I know.” His heart ached with the mistake of misunderstanding. Reuben grabbed his hat and his tool belt, then waited outside for his ride. Today he would be working with Jed and Elijah Lapp—Ellie’s cousins. He was still waiting on plumbing repairs on his other job. His crew was split up and working other sites until the repairs were finished.
Jedidiah arrived alone. Reuben approached the man’s vehicle and greeted him with a nod. “Going to be a warm one, I’m afraid,” Jed commented pleasantly.
“Ja, it is,” Reuben agreed.
“Looks like you’ve got a lot of work to do here yet.”
Reuben stiffened. “Ja.”
“Let us know if you need a hand.” The man met his gaze.
He nodded. “I will. Danki.” But he wouldn’t be asking for help. He had something to prove to himself—that he was capable of doing things on his own.
Jed steered his wagon onto the main road. “Heard you got a son.”
“You heard right.”
“Mam said my cousins have been watching him for you.”
Reuben tensed. They were talking about him. “Ja, they have been.”
Jed grunted. “Gut. They’ll take gut care of him. Even guard him with their lives.”
He went still until the man laughed. “Let’s hope they don’t have to,” Reuben said with a chuckle.
The day went fairly quickly for Reuben, considering that the sun was hot and the labor hard. Jed had him home by four thirty. He climbed down from Jed’s vehicle. “Appreciate the ride, Jed.”
The man smiled. “Anytime. See you tomorrow.”
He waited until Jed had left before he turned. He felt worn out from the heat as he approached the house. He was aware that his blue short-sleeved shirt was stained with sweat and his pant legs and shoes dusty with dirt from the job site. They were building a small shopping center between the villages of Bird in Hand and Intercourse. When it was finished, there would be room for three shops. All of them, according to Jed, would be Amish owned and run. While he had no desire to be involved in businesses that attracted tourists, he understood what these businesses meant to Amish families who wanted to make a good living. He preferred construction or farming.
Reuben tried to open the side door but it was locked. He frowned. Did one of the sisters take Ethan home with them? He rapped on the door and waited. He was in a lousy mood. The last thing he needed was to fetch Ethan. When no one answered his knock, he started to simmer. He knocked harder out of frustration. The door suddenly swung open, and he could hear a child’s cry.
Ellie stood in the doorway and gazed at him with irritation. “You woke up Ethan, and I’d just gotten him to sleep.”
He stared at her through narrowed eyes, but his anger vanished with the onset of relief. “’Tis nearly five.”
The woman turned and walked away, leaving the door open for him to follow her. She went into the great room and drew Ethan into her arms, urged his head onto her shoulder, then rubbed his back to soothe his child. Ethan finally quieted and his eyelids drifted closed. “He’s been fretful all afternoon. I hope he’s not coming down with something.”
Reuben approached and placed a hand on his son’s forehead. “He’s warm.”
Ellie looked at him. “’Tis hot today. I don’t think he has a fever.”
He swallowed hard at the compassion and tenderness he saw on her features. Something moved deep within him. She was an astounding woman who would make some man a good wife and mother for his children someday.
Reuben looked away. He didn’t want to notice anything about Ellie. She was a complication he didn’t need. “How can I help?”
Her smile nearly stopped his heart. “There isn’t much to do at this point. I’ll hold and comfort him until he falls asleep again.” Ethan opened his eyes and tried to lift his head. Ellie rubbed his neck, and he lay against her shoulder again.
“Do you need a break?” Reuben whispered. “I can hold him awhile.”
“He’s settled down some,” she said softly. “Better not to move him.” She regarded him with warmth. “Supper’s ready for you. ’Tis just macaroni salad, sweet and sour green beans and some fried chicken I picked up on my way over this afternoon. Everything is in the refrigerator. Chicken is usually gut cold, but if you want, I can heat it up for you.”
She carried Ethan carefully toward the refrigerator and opened the door.
“Ellie, I can get it.”
She nodded, swung the door shut and stepped back. She looked hurt. He closed his eyes, wondering what to say to wipe that look from her eyes. “You’ve done so much and I appreciate it,” he said softly. “Ellie—” She met his gaze. “I’m sorry for being stubborn about the high chair. Your sister said that it was her idea to bring it. I should have accepted your offer when you made it.”
Ellie looked surprised yet glad. “You can give it back when you no longer need it.”
“Your family doesn’t need it?”
“Nay.” She shifted Ethan in her arms. “Not anytime soon.” She smiled at his little boy. “I think he’s nodded off.” Her voice was quiet, almost reverent. The beauty in her features arrested him, and he was forced to admit there was something compelling about her that drew him in. Ethan was fast asleep with his head on her shoulder.
“Do you want to put him down?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Let’s make certain he is asleep first. Ja?”
He nodded. “I’ll get dinner ready. You’ll join me once you put him down?”
Ellie blinked rapidly. “You want me to eat supper with you?”
“Ja.” He searched her expression, saw her surprise. “Do you need to be home?”
“Nay. I like to help Mam, but Charlie’s home so she can help her.”
His relief startled him. “Gut.”
Ellie was stunned. Reuben had invited her to stay to eat supper. The knowledge shook her. Earlier, he’d been angry with her. Was he trying to make amends?
His apology had shocked her. He’d said that he should have accepted her offer of the chair from the start. What an enigmatic man.
Ethan felt good in her arms. He smelled of baby powder and lavender baby soap that she’d washed him with earlier that afternoon. She’d been reluctant to put him down until Reuben had invited her to supper. She laid him gently into the cradle bed in the great room, then entered the kitchen as Reuben was closing the refrigerator door. He hadn’t taken out any food. Had he changed his mind about her staying? “Reuben?”
He gave her a rueful smile. “I should clean up first before we have supper. It won’t take long.”
She eyed him, noting his damp shirt, his dusty pants and the blond hair that was plastered to his forehead. No man had ever looked better to her. Ach nay, she thought, I’m in serious trouble.
“I’ll set the table,” she said quietly.
He stared at her with an unreadable expression, before he nodded, then headed upstairs. She heard his heavy treads on the steps to the second floor, then the sound of water through the pipes.
She set the table and put out the cold fried chicken with the side dishes she’d made. Ellie had finished pouring two glasses of iced tea when she felt Reuben’s presence. Detecting the scent of soap and clean male, she inhaled deeply, then faced him. Her heart beat hard at the sight of him. He wore a light green shirt with navy trousers. His hair was damp, and his feet were bare. “Do you feel better?” she asked politely.
“Ja.” His smile made her stomach flutter. His gaze went to the table. “Dinner looks delicious.”
“I didn’t heat the chicken. Do you want it warm? It won’t take long.”
“I like cold chicken.”
“Me, too.” She fiddled with the silverware, then put them beside their plates. Ellie felt awkward, nervous. She should be home with her parents, not eating with Reuben. She swallowed hard and turned. “I should get home.”
He frowned. “You’re not going to eat first?”
She shook her head. “I know I said that Charlie’s there to help. But then I remembered she was with Nate this afternoon. What if she isn’t home yet? I don’t want Mam to worry about making dinner on her own. If I leave now I can still be a help to her.”
“I see.” He approached and she detected the heat, the clean scent, of him. “Danki for taking care of Ethan. I shouldn’t need your help for much longer.” If he was disappointed that she was leaving, he didn’t show it.
Ellie stiffened at the reminder that he wanted to get rid of her. “I forgot to tell you. I heard from Sarah today. It will be several more weeks before she can return.” Giving him her back, she felt a headache coming on and absently lifted fingers to rub her forehead. “Until then, Charlie and I can take turns with Ethan.”
Reuben was silent. As she faced him, she caught a strange look on his face. “Reuben?”
“I don’t want to put you to any more trouble.”
“Your son is no trouble,” she said, meaning it.
He gazed at her. Whatever he read in her expression must have satisfied him. He finally nodded with a small smile. “How are you getting home?” he asked.
Ellie was startled. “I forgot! Charlie was supposed to come for me.” She picked up her cell phone from the counter. “I’ll call Nell.” She felt his gaze on her as she dialed her sister. Once she explained to Nell what she needed, she hung up and turned to him. “My brother-in-law is close. He’ll bring me home.”
Reuben studied her without a word.
“Reuben?”
He shifted his attention to the table, where he sat and took a serving of macaroni salad, green beans and two pieces of the chicken.
She felt her stomach tighten as she watched him eat. Why wouldn’t he talk to her? She could have—should have—stayed for supper, but it was too late now. James was already on his way.
Ellie checked on Ethan in the other room, then returned to find Reuben still eating. The tension between her and Reuben had become unbearable. She crossed the kitchen and exited out the side door. She’d rather wait in the yard for James than endure another moment inside.
She stood in the warmth of the early evening sun, but hugged herself with her arms. The chill deep inside wasn’t physical.
She’d never been so glad when James pulled his wagon up to the house. She grinned at her brother-in-law. “I appreciate the ride.”
“Charlie forgot, I take it,” he said with an amused smile. “Too busy with her sweetheart?”
Ellie grinned again. “It would seem so.”
He jumped down from the wagon and assisted her up before he returned to climb onto the driver’s side.
As James steered the horse toward the road, she glanced at the house and froze. Reuben stood in the doorway with a strange expression on his face. He looked...anguished. She inhaled sharply and faced the front. Had she hurt him by leaving?
Nay. She was imagining things. Reuben wasn’t upset.
She glanced back one last time and saw that Reuben had stepped outside to watch her leave. She didn’t know what to think. The man confused her on many levels.
Should she return the next day? She would. For Ethan.
“How was your day?” James asked.
You don’t want to know. “It was fine. How about yours?”
And she listened with interest as he told her about the vet visits he’d made that day and the problems he’d encountered with the animals. She made all the correct responses, despite that Reuben Miller was foremost in her mind.