I hate tired ass phrases that don’t mean shit. For instance, “Look at you.” What’s the point of that one? Can you reeealIy look at yourself? I do think it would be great if you could actually see yourself. You do realize, though, that most people in your life have seen you more than you have seen you. I mean, you’ve seen yourself in mirrors and pictures and shit, but to be honest, when it’s all said and done, you have never really seen yourself enough to know what you really look like. Like if you could somehow walk behind yourself, trust me, you would be like, “Who is this dumb muthafucka in front of me?”
Think about it: When you dream, you create a little image of you in there. It’s a version of you that you think is accurate. But if you could ever let someone you know drop by one of your dreams for a cameo, they would look at that little dream you and be like, “Who the fuck is that?” And you would be like, “Me,” and they would be like, “That’s not what the fuck you look like.” At which point you would probably dream a ferocious cougar into the scenario to eat your friend’s ass for talking shit. Regardless, you don’t really know what the fuck you look like.
Or another one is like when people say it takes a village. I get it, you’re saying everyone should play their part in raising that kid. By the way, I would actually prefer to say it takes a village to raise “children,” but I acknowledge it doesn’t sound right. Personally I just don’t like the word “kid.” A “kid” is a goat, so in reality, you’re saying it takes a village to raise a goat, which doesn’t make any damn sense. Oh, and don’t be shocked that I knew “kid” is another name for “goat.” To be honest, I would be shocked if you didn’t know. And if you didn’t, now would be a good time to look at yourself and see why you didn’t know. See how I brought that shit back around?
Back to the whole “village to raise your kids” bullshit: You know how many strong single moms and dads I’ve met? Ones that have raised several kids!?! Who the hell came up with that saying? My thing is, what the hell is wrong with that kid? You think that village ain’t got nothing better to do? How about running businesses, driving Ubers, hustling and bustling? Is the village supposed to just stop what they’re doing to raise that mess of a kid? Where are his parents? I tell you, what that village needs to do, they need to line them parents up and whup their asses for trying to pawn off their parenting responsibilities on the damn village! A village got shit to do, shit like putting horseshoes on horses, paying taxes to the king, and burning witches . . .
Maybe I went back too far, but you get the idea—raise your own fucking kids!