The other day I was riding past Home Depot and I saw a lot of what’re called “day workers” standing out in front, trying to hustle some handyman gigs. Now, I can’t speak for everyone out there, but I assume that most of them are either poor, homeless, or both. Now don’t get me wrong: It’s quite possible that a few of them could be some of those crazy ass rich people who either like to see how the other half lives or have lost their minds and have like $1.2 million in nickels hidden in a storm drain at their house. Anyway, I was thinking about those poor souls who need a place to stay and are willing to work hard, and all of a sudden it hit me!
Home Depot is an amazing place—you got fifty aisles and a garden center in that shit. Now, what the government should do is subsidize housing by buying Home Depots and allowing homeless people to build their own houses inside the Home Depot, ’cause they got all the necessary materials in there already! Wood, hammers, dishwashers, BBQ equipment. They can even grow their own food in the garden department. It would be the Homeless Depot! It’s a house within a house within a fucking house.
Once all the houses are built, every aisle would be a new neighborhood—better yet, a development. And the shit is gated, so it’s basically a gated community, with ample fucking parking. Tell me that’s not a good ass idea! But I do recommend getting rid of the shopping carts: They tend to attract homeless people, and that would just bring you back to square one.