Donkey Style: Just like doggie style, except when the woman was done, she double-foot kicked the man in the chest to get him off her. People were busy back then, they didn’t have time to lie around for some post-coital cuddling.Don’t get it twisted! The internet would have you believe freaky sex shit is new. Hell, your grandparents were filthy! You’re having a hard time believing your grandparents were beatin’ it up?! I’ve got a whole list of shit Percy and Bernadette were doing back in the day. Now sure, the Cotton Gin, the Wheelbarrow, and the Reverse Wheelbarrow are so famous they can be found in Urban Dictionary. But there are some lesser-known ones that were pretty damn good:
Donkey Style: Just like doggie style, except when the woman was done, she double-foot kicked the man in the chest to get him off her. People were busy back then, they didn’t have time to lie around for some post-coital cuddling.
Polio: When the woman acted like her legs didn’t work. You know how much fun you could have working the dead legs? Hours. Hours, I’m telling you! I know that shit is dark, and no offense to any physically challenged individuals out there. On the contrary, I know you’ve been doing kinky ass shit for years and not sharing it with us, so kudos to you!
Model T: A rough hand job, where the Johnson was rotated like a crank. Hey, don’t judge. People liked that rough shit back then—it matched the times.
Woody Woodpecker: Like a blowjob, but from a woman with buck teeth and a nervous ass laugh.
Fried Baloney: The lady sat her ass on a stove top and turned it on low heat, then the man kept sliding his Johnson in between her and the stove top until they both smelled liked fried baloney. That one was fucked up, but fun! That one kept the ER busy.
There were also a few racist ones that never caught on, for instance:
The Colored Fountain: This was when a black woman would pee on a chocolate-loving white man. While colored fountains were legal in the South, ironically the Colored Fountain Shower was not. Shit, I don’t wanna even tell you what would happen if they caught you peeing on someone of another race. Shit was bad back then, on all levels. It would be some time later, after many years of illegal interracial sex peeing, that golden showers would be born. I’m telling you facts here!