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Jared tossed his laptop on the hotel bed. It sank into the smooth comforter, wrinkling the only order in the room. He dropped onto the mattress next to it, gaze drifting around what had been his temporary home. Memories seemed to leak from every corner, hiding in the shadows, taunting and urging him to remember. But he couldn’t.
Living the last few days had already created too much of a mess. Clothes draped on chairs, nothing on hangers or in the “dry clean back home” side of his garment bag. He hadn’t even stuck to his morning run. On the surface it wasn’t a wreck. However, he knew how it normally looked, though, and it was all out of place. He wanted to be bothered by the disarray, but he was more bothered that most of him didn’t feel it was significant. At least not on this scale.
Jesus, could he be more melodramatic? He’d dealt with this before. He knew how to move on. The idea was so overwhelmingly unappealing it almost made him retch. He only wanted one thing right now, and she wasn’t here.
No, he couldn’t do this. He wouldn’t linger on her face, her laughter, her gorgeous body and the way it fit perfectly against him, the way her brain whirled so fast it was a rush to keep up. He wasn’t going to think about any of those things.
He forced himself to stand. A semblance of order would help him compartmentalize his thoughts. He moved his misplaced clothes into their proper places. He plucked a shirt off the top of his garment bag, and his chest almost collapsed on itself. A teddy bear stared back, black eyes blank and accusing, taunting him in nothing but an apron and a beret. He grabbed the bear to fling it across the room, and a pair of black, lace panties tore loose from its arm and drifted to the ground.
Mikki was everything that could destroy him. She’d almost done it once. She was flighty, impulsive, and prone to do things like hack the competition’s network just because she could. He tugged the apron down on the bear and set it back on top of his luggage. He knew all those things at his core. So why did it feel like he was being ripped apart at the thought of never seeing her again?
Suddenly the air around him felt too heavy. He needed to get out of there. Being alone with his thoughts was going to crush him. He’d text Vivian and see if she wanted to do anything while they waited on Tate.
And listen to them lecture me some more. Fuck that. He’d surround himself with strangers instead. See if he could live their emotions through osmosis, or some stupid bullshit, instead of having to deal with the parts of him whispering she’d suffered through this as much as he had.
He showered as quickly as he could, hating the way the beat of the water drew his own thoughts back to the surface. He pulled on slacks, a shirt, and a suit jacket, and headed toward the elevators. When he reached the lobby, he couldn’t find enough concentration to even figure out where he was going. Breakfast was a good start. Somewhere with lots of people. Loud people.
As he let his gaze drift around the lobby, deja vu coursed through him. Had it really been less than four days since he first saw the distracted woman wandering across the lobby, oblivious to the world?
Great, now his imagination was taunting him. No. He narrowed his gaze. It was really her heading toward the business center. Time for breakfast. But he couldn’t convince his feet to move in the other direction. She was only inside for a few moments before she emerged again. Her gaze stayed on the ground as she headed toward the front door, duffel bag and laptop slung over her shoulder, trailing a rolling suitcase behind her.
Let her leave. The two of us are done. Fuck it, he was an ass sometimes. His feet were carrying him toward the exits before the automated door finished swinging shut behind her. She was halfway to the cab line. This mental argument was stupid. He’d admitted yesterday he wanted to work through things with her. Nothing had changed except more of the truth was in the open now. Things that hadn’t been her fault any more than his. He forced himself to speak. “Mikki.”
A doorman had a taxi at the curb, waiting for her. “Miss?”
She didn’t turn to face Jared, but she didn’t move toward the waiting car, either.
She couldn’t leave. The single thought pushed aside all of Jared’s hurt and confusion. He needed her. Everything Tate had said was true. Vivian was right. Logic be damned, he was going to be miserable without this woman, and she’d been as betrayed as he had. “Please?”
The seconds ticked away in slow motion. She finally shook her head at the doorman and stepped aside so the next person in line could have the waiting ride.
She turned to face Jared, jaw set and eyes hard.
He forced the words out. “Hear me out.”
She shrugged her bags off her shoulder, let them drop in a controlled fall, and grasped the straps in her hand. She bumped her laptop with her leg each time her foot bounced. “There’s not really anything left to cover. I told you everything I know.”
It took him a moment to process the words. She meant about the security holes. He shook his head. “I know. And I’m grateful. So much more than I could ever say. But I meant about us. Can we go somewhere? I’ll buy you coffee, or breakfast, or a day pass at Adventure Land. Just hear me out?”
“I have a flight to catch.”
He deserved the brush-off. He closed the distance between them, but suppressed the urge to kiss her until neither of them could breathe. “Give me five minutes. You should still be able to catch your plane.”
She crossed her arms, gaze locked on him, lips drawn into a thin line. And then her chin quivered. She swallowed, took a deep breath. “I have a little time.”
Fuck, now what was he supposed to say? Every thought assaulted him at once, forcing his mouth open before he could process. “I need—”
Her “I can’t—” overlapped him.
He choked back the words. “You go first.”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and her brow furrowed. The cold mask slipped away, and worry fell in to take its place. “I’m so sorry. I really am. If I had to do it all again, the whole hacking thing, the jobs, all of it, I’d do it differently. Except maybe you. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to realize that? How selfish it feels? To admit I’d still suffer through never seeing you again just so I’d have the memories?” She shook her head. “But that’s the awesome thing about hindsight, right? It never happens before the fact.”
He knew exactly how she felt, but he didn’t dare interrupt. A sharp silence settled between them.
She stared at him. “That was it. I’m done.”
He measured his words. “Thank you for everything you did last night. You saved us, and I don’t have any idea how hard it must have been to track us down just to help.”
She tugged her bags back onto her shoulder, eyes glistening. “Yeah, of course. Is that all?”
Maybe it was time to take a page from her book and stop overthinking everything. “No, it’s not. It’s not even close to everything.” He didn’t pause to consider the words as they spilled out. He let whatever came to mind have its day. “I know it’s only been a few days. I know because I won’t stop reminding myself. Years of cutting myself off from anyone and everyone except my closest friends, and you come along and bam, I’m hooked. I can’t stop thinking about you. Not just how sexy you are, but the way you make me think, the fun we have together, that you challenge everything I believe.”
He reached for her, and traced a finger along her jaw, relief flooding him when she didn’t pull away. Apparently his brain wasn’t done talking. “I’m falling for you, hard and fast and uncontrollably. I don’t want you to walk away. I can’t think of anything I want more right at this moment than to keep you in my life. Somehow.”
She ducked her head, staring at the ground for a moment before meeting his gaze again. A tiny smile threatened her face. “That makes it easier.”
His eyebrows rose. “Oh?”
“Telling you I’m falling for you is a lot easier than hoping the pint of ice cream calling my name can make me forget.”
A laugh of relief rushed through his lungs. “It depends on what flavor it was.”
She shrugged. “Whatever was on sale.” She dropped her bags to the ground again, nudged them aside so they no longer rested between them, and stepped forward. Rising on her toes, she brushed her lips over his before pulling away again. “But I like losing myself in you better.”
“You know that was really corny, right?” he teased.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Because a heartfelt confession of love right before I fly into the sunset is so original.”
He tunneled his hands into her short locks and tugged her close. His lips crushed hers, and everything negative evaporated. She kissed him back, hard and hungry, and caught his bottom lip between her teeth as she broke away. She flashed him the mischievous smirk that made his blood run hot. “Maybe there’s a reason it’s all so cliché.”
“Give me a day.” He traced his hand down her arm, then tangled his fingers with hers. “I’ll get you a flight out tomorrow. At least we’ll have twenty-four hours to figure out what happens next.”
“I already checked out.” She nodded at her luggage.
He waved a busboy to them, slipped him a twenty, nodded at her bags and gave him his room number. “But wait a couple of hours,” he told the busboy.
She pressed closer, body molding into Jared’s, still gripping his hand tight. “I’m not going back to your room. You promised me breakfast.”
He kissed her again, head swimming from the euphoria flooding his veins. “We’ll order in.” He moved his mouth to her ear and traced the lines with his tongue before whispering, “We have a problem we need to work through first.”
Her brow creased, and concern leaked into her voice. “Oh?”
He nipped her earlobe, and then trailed his mouth down her neck. Her gasp filled his head with helium. He traced a line back up her throat and kissed her on the nose. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”
She shifted her weight, and her entire frame rubbed against him. “I can’t argue with logic like that.”
He slid his hand into her back pocket and steered her toward the hotel. It felt right when she leaned into him with a contented sigh. He didn’t register anything except her warmth, and the faint citrus he associated with her, on the short path to the elevator.
A tiny wave of disappointment crashed over him when the car was packed. She slid in front of him as it rose. The shift of her body was almost imperceptible, but he was suddenly intensely aware of her ass pressing into him, grinding just enough to tease him but not enough for anyone to see her moving. His pulse kicked up another notch.
The moment the doors slid open on his floor, he nudged her out, and his hands slid to her waist, under the hem of her T-shirt. He dipped his head, voice low as he guided her toward his room. “You’re horrible.”
She broke away and turned, her grin spreading as she studied him, gaze lingering on his crotch. “I thought your slacks were looser. Oops.”
Fuck, she had him wandering the halls like a teenager who couldn’t control a hard-on, and all he could do was smirk like an idiot in response. It seemed like an eternity before they finally reached his room. He fumbled with the lock before finally getting the door open and pushing her inside.
She squealed when he backed her against the bed. She fell back with a laugh, sitting on the edge and staring up at him. Eyes never leaving his, she traced the bulge below his waist. His cock threatened to burst from the teasing contact and strained to get closer to her touch.
“I don’t think I’m the only one wearing too many clothes.”
She unbuckled his belt and slid down his zipper. He clenched his toes inside his shoes. She wrapped her warm fingers around his shaft and freed it from its prison, and a low groan tore from his chest.
He almost came at the sensation of her lips wrapped around him. The smooth ball in her tongue glided along his length, teasing him further. She looked up at him, lips circling his shaft, tongue wet and warm on his skin. She caressed his sac. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Her other hand pumped him in rhythm with her sucking. His balls tightened, and he almost squirmed in agony when he forced himself to break away.
She looked at him, hurt dancing in her eyes.
“You’re going to make me come,” he managed.
Her playful expression returned. “That’s the point.”
Yeah, it really was. He hated himself for stopping her, but he knew it was going to be worth it. “Not yet.”