It didn’t take long to drive out to the little tent city at the foot of the range. While they drove Livvy felt free, like she was running away from classes or other difficult duties to have fun instead of work. She had never played hooky a day in her life—from school or work. The sensation made her kind of giddy, and she couldn’t stop giggling.
“Livvy, are you okay?” Hazel asked, trying to keep one eye on Livvy and the other on the road.
“You have no idea how good it feels to be away from him,” Livvy leaned on the edge of her window, putting her face forward to feel the wind. She took in the fields and hills rising around them and tried desperately to ignore the sickness growing in her guts.
“I can’t imagine,” Hazel said softly. “You’ve had a unique experience, Livvy. Tell all of us about it so we can figure out how to avoid them. We know next to nothing about their brainwashing techniques except that once it starts, it’s impossible to break.”
“Did you watch the exposé with Sasha?” Livvy asked.
“Yes, I did. I looked at all the footage of her dying of ‘Knowing sickness’ but it wasn’t exactly convincing. A bit of makeup and some good acting and it’s all explained as bullshit.”
“She’s bound now,” Livvy said, thoughtfully. “She’s never far from him.”
“So, explain it, Livvy,” Hazel’s voice took on an almost frantic tone. “Why did you go with him? Did he just abduct you?”
“No,” Livvy said sullenly. “I went with him.”
Hazel gave her a sidelong glance. Livvy wanted to lie so her friends wouldn’t abandon her like everyone else she had ever leaned on. It just wasn’t in her nature, though.
What’s the point of giving them information that isn’t accurate? she thought. It won’t help them if it’s all bullshit.
“Why?” Hazel asked, softly.
“I can’t explain it, not really. I just had to touch him. Something changed inside me.”
Livvy had been about to spill her feelings but noticed Hazel’s look of alarm. She shut her mouth quickly and went back to contemplating the landscape flowing by.
Now I’m fucked, Livvy thought. She already felt deserted and she was sitting a foot away from her best friend. Both of them were quiet as they pulled into the camp.
They were immediately surrounded by the children, and as Livvy got out, she greeted them all warmly, hurrying to find treats for them in the supplies they had brought. Livvy’s heart twisted in her chest so hard it felt like it might truly break.
I don’t deserve their love.
Livvy and Hazel moved everything into a large shed as a couple of the guys came to help. Everyone accepted Livvy as if she had never left. It didn’t look like anyone knew about her interaction with the Preor. Even though Hazel still threw her an occasional look, Livvy felt like everything was going to be fine.
She sat down with Betty and a few of the kids, helping to make stew and dumplings. Even though her heart kept fluttering in her chest, she felt at home. In spite of the harsh living conditions, she found comfort here in the shared respect that passed between them.
The sky had begun to darken by the time they finished dinner, and Hazel was nowhere to be seen. Livvy sat with the kids, telling stories and sharing bread and honey. It felt as if her time with Radoo had been a very brief bad dream.
Livvy felt a nagging sense of loss deep inside her chest. It triggered her stomach into waves of nausea and gave her a nasty headache. She refused to admit that this had anything to do with Radoo.
I’m tired. I’ve had such a long day. Of course, everything feels wrong. Tomorrow I’ll feel better.
The fire light was flickering between the caravans and tents, and someone was playing a flute, which was soon backed up by drums. The kids grabbed her hands and pulled her into a circle of light to dance.
She let herself go, making crazy, sharp movements to get the kids laughing. She was so caught up in the fun she barely noticed when Hazel appeared by the fire.
“Hey, you want to dance?” she asked, breathless.
Hazel smiled with a cold, short expression.
“Come up to the main building with me, please,” Hazel said, softly.
Livvy said goodbye to the kids, hugging them and telling them to dance like rock stars. She casually looped an arm through Hazel’s and smiled as they walked up the hill.
Hazel didn’t say anything and her grip on Livvy’s arm felt like it was restraining her, not offering comfort. Livvy felt uneasy but felt surely the meeting was only a debrief. She didn’t even know who would be in charge if Derek and Chance weren’t there.
Anger burned through her as she thought about seeing them again. She was prepared to be diplomatic—she wanted to help the rebels, after all—but it was going to be a rough talk for all of them.
Hazel gave her hand a squeeze as they came up to the porch of the ranger station.
“You go in. I’ll wait here.”
“Okay.” Livvy felt even more uneasy. She took the stairs slowly and went through the open door.
Derek was there, sitting across the room in an armchair. She couldn’t control herself as rage and betrayal rose in her, the terror that she could have been responsible for the deaths of innocent children.
She ran at him with her hands out. She was going to throttle him; she was going to break his damn neck—
Too late, she heard the footstep behind her. She saw the sweep of Janine’s tawny blonde hair before darkness and a terrible impact obliterated the world.
When she blinked her eyes open, pain was ringing through every inch of her body. Her hands and feet were tied and the back of her head felt sticky.
They hit me really fucking hard.
They?
With great effort, Livvy looked up. Janine was standing over her with her arms folded and her expression triumphant. Derek came up behind her and smacked Janine on the ass. She giggled and turned to kiss him.
“It’s so sweet when two uglies get together,” Livvy muttered. “You’ll both go blind trying to look at your children.”
Janine took a quick step forward to swing her foot into Livvy’s stomach. She was dressed in combat boots, camouflage pants and a tight sweater, and her long legs gave her incredible power. To Livvy, it felt like Janine had kicked her guts right out through her spine.
I taught you to kick like that, Livvy thought as she writhed on the ground.
“You betrayed us,” Derek said, angrily.
“You betrayed me!” hissed Livvy. “You told me they were only smoke bombs!”
“You said yourself, smoke bombs wouldn’t be effective.” He shrugged. “We do what we have to do.”
Livvy struggled furiously against the ropes, desperate to get up and wrap her hands around his neck.
“I didn’t want any of this to happen!” she screamed. “I didn’t choose this. That’s why I left him!”
Janine’s eyes narrowed and she stepped forward, putting the heavy toe of her boot on Livvy’s side.
“Yeah. Tell us. Tell us everything about that filthy Preor you took off with. How was his cock, Livvy? Was it full of hallucinogens? Did you drink it, or did you let it soak into your pussy over and over again?”
Livvy panted and shook her head.
“I didn’t fuck him! There is no poison, no brainwashing. It’s some kind of ancient frequency pattern, like a brain wave. A nervous response of some kind—”
“Are you trying to tell me that the Preor have an ancestral memory encoded in their DNA, which activates in the presence of their mate?” Derek asked incredulously.
“I’m not sure that’s what it is, but it sounds like it might be plausible,” Livvy answered.
Derek took one step forward and kicked her in the guts. Her breath blasted out and she writhed on the floor, gasping for breath.
“You’re pathetic,” hissed Janine. “You’d make any excuse. Wouldn’t you? Your fucking pussy got the better of you and now you’d do anything to make excuses for yourself. Are their cocks that fucking good? Huh? Good enough that you can betray us so easily?”
Livvy pressed her face against the floor. The slight sickness and headache that had plagued her before returned in force and throbbed in time with her other injuries.
She wouldn’t give them another fucking word. Not one. Livvy was locking herself up and pulling back. It was clear that nowhere was safe and she should never have trusted anyone. They could torture her all night if they wanted, but she was never going to help these murderous creeps ever again.