13.

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At length the door pushed ajar and Raisa’s father made his presence known with a discreet knock.  We had by now exhausted our emotional distress and were smiling and laughing once more.

“Anca, I must ask that you leave us now.” He added, “Please.”

“I understand.”  I turned to Raisa once more and we embraced a final time, hugging each other tightly.

“Remember me always, Anca,” she said.  She retrieved a chain and amulet from around her neck and placed it over my head.  I had never known her remove it before.  “Promise me you will wear this always, Anca, so that you will always have me near your heart.”

“But Raisa, I cannot...”

“You must, Anca. You can return it to me when next we see each other. Isn’t that right, Papa?”

I turned to her father, seeking permission to accept this gift of friendship.  He nodded his reluctant assent.

“I will treasure it always.”

“I will immediately demand to see it when next we meet, Anca, no matter how many years may pass between.”

“It will never leave my person.  I promise, Raisa.”

“You will write?”

“If at all possible.”

“Goodbye then, Anca.  Dearest friend.”

“Farewell, Raisa.”

We exchanged a final embrace and I followed Raisa’s father from the room.  I turned in the doorway to offer a final wave as he drew the door to behind me.  Raisa wiped away a tear as she waved back.  The door closed and I knew we would never see one another again.

“Anca.”  Raisa’s father, Maxim, paused at the main door.  “I want you to know how sorry I am, that it should end this way.”

I looked up at him.  Lugubrious features returned my gaze.

“It was not my wish to separate you two,” Maxim said quietly.  “I treasure my daughter, and value her friends.  You, Anca, more than any other, for you must know how close your father and I were, before...” 

He took my hand.  “You are much too young to understand, Anca, but please believe me when I tell you that my actions were for the best.  To allow your friendship with Raisa to continue after what happened to your father would have been foolhardy, benefiting neither party.”

I looked into his eyes, trying to understand, wanting to believe his actions were well-intentioned, but unable to make sense of his reasons.

“Before we moved to your country we suffered persecution in our own homeland, Anca.  We have seen it happen before.  Please understand that I terminated your friendship with my daughter to protect her, not to grieve her.”

I knew not how to respond, so I just listened.

“You are a wonderful child, Anca, and deserve so much better than the cruel hand fate has dealt you.  But we cannot change things. Only sit quietly to one side and hope the worst will pass us by.”  He clasped my hand tightly, staring earnestly into my eyes. 

“That was the mistake your father made, Anca.  He was a brave man, but bravery means nothing to these barbarians.  Your father was a hero.  You can be proud of him.”

He had my full attention now.

“But he paid the price.  It was a salutary lesson to us all, Anca.  One day you will understand, that I have acted only in Raisa’s best interests. To put her safety before her childhood friendship.  Please forgive me, Anca, as I hope Raisa will do one day.  Now go.  Good luck with whatever the future may bring.  Wherever you may go, be assured Raisa will remember you.”  His long fingers took the amulet around my neck and tucked it gently inside my coat. He forced a smile. “Be sure to return this when next you see her.”

If it was a difficult speech for me to take in, how much harder for this man to make it.  I saw tears well in his dark eyes and knew every word was heartfelt.  He was frightened.  Frightened for his family, for his wife Catherine, and for his only daughter. 

Just an hour earlier I had been filled with hatred for this man, who had dared come between me and my friend.  Now I felt only sympathy.

As I clutched his hand I stretched up and kissed him on the cheek.  “I am trying to understand, Maxim.  I am trying so hard.  Please, let no harm come to Raisa.  My heart will always be with her.”  I turned and, taking Nicolae by the arm, walked into the street without a backward glance.

The journey home was slow and sombre.  Nicolae was by now tiring, entreating me to carry him, but I was in no mood for such activity, my thoughts elsewhere.  As we arrived at our own home I stopped outside, ushering Nicolae through.

“You go on ahead, Nicolae.  I will join you shortly.”

Nicolae looked up at me.  “Why are you crying, Anca?”

I struggled to maintain my composure.  “I have a speck of dust in my eye, little one, that is all.  Now go on in and see if Mama needs any help to pack.  It must be nearly time for the train.”

At this reminder Nicolae sped off into the house, leaving me alone with my thoughts and once more the tears flowed.