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For what seemed like an eternity I stood cataleptic, unable to believe my eyes, as my brother ran across the square and threw himself, screaming, at the offending officer, clinging to his uniform and battering the man with his tiny fists.
It were as if I were in a trance, for I could do nothing but watch, though my only thoughts were to protect Nicolae from harm. Around me the stunned attention of the entire station was focused on this small child.
As I struggled to grasp what was happening my fears were for Nicolae’s very life, as the Nazi reached down and grabbed my brother’s arms. The next thing I was conscious of I had broken free of the restraining hands on my shoulder and was myself in full flight across the station, running faster than I could ever imagine, screaming Nicolae’s name.
The officer held the defiant child in the air at arms length, Nicolae’s tiny arms and legs flailing wildly in a futile attempt to release himself. I stopped a few metres from them, not knowing what to do.
Not knowing what I could do.
Around us there was silence everywhere, everyone watching, waiting. Even Nicolae’s screams had subsided, his exhausted larynx unable to raise a syllable more, the dawning reality of his predicament introducing terror where anger had previously ruled.
Suddenly Mama found her own voice and shouted across the station from where she was being restrained, screaming for the officer to put her son down. Even as I turned in her direction I saw an Iron Guard officer raise his rifle and bring the butt down forcefully upon my mother’s head. I watched horrified as blood erupted across her temple and Mama collapsed to the floor. I was too far distant to know the extent of her injury and dared not react for fear the same treatment would be meted out upon Nicolae.
Still there was silence. No-one dared move.
Then without warning the Gestapo officer holding Nicolae began to laugh. It was a cold, cruel laugh, as if he found his assault by a six year old boy genuinely amusing. Other Gestapo officers joined in and the atmosphere lightened tangibly as their laughter resounded around the previously silent station, Iron Guard officers hesitantly following suit.
The civilian crowd looked on in anxious silence, fearful for their and our safety.
Mine and Nicolae’s eyes were as one, united in fear and apprehension, not daring to move, not knowing what response to anticipate.
Speaking in loud, barked German, the Nazi addressed his fellow officers to yet more laughter, the joke apparently at our expense, then suddenly he turned and effortlessly flung my brother’s tiny frame into the cattle wagon.
Screaming Nicolae’s name, I was in an instant climbing aboard to affect his rescue, forcing my way past Elone and Golda, my only thought to reach Nicolae.
I found him lying dazed on the splintered floor of the truck and tended him as best I could, but found myself being pushed to the rear of the wagon as more Jews were forced aboard.
Desperately I stood up, holding Nicolae to my chest for fear he would be crushed. I struggled to see beyond the embarking Jews to where Mama had fallen and my heart leapt as I glimpsed her being helped to her feet. The sight of blood running down my mother’s face from a head wound was the last thing I saw as the doors slammed shut, plunging us into darkness.
~
The adult bodies on all sides threatened to crush me, for my twelve years told against me in height and strength. I clutched Nicolae as tightly as I could, unable to move my arms to comfort him, unable to see his face in the darkness to ascertain his well-being. I tried desperately to solicit help of those around me, but none spoke Romanian, or if they did they chose to ignore my pleas. I called out to Golda and Elone, but no reply came, if indeed they were in the same wagon.
Eventually I heard the sound of engines warming and knew we would soon commence our journey. I prayed it would be short.
Suddenly the wagon lurched as the locomotive heaved into motion, sending a wave of instability through the train. Around me I felt people struggle for balance and heard screams as some lost their footing.
A hand clutched my leg, but I dared not let go of Nicolae to reach down and seconds later the grip slowly released. What became of those who fell I could only imagine. I shut their cries from my mind and concentrated all my thoughts on holding my brother steady. Nothing else, no-one else, mattered.
Eventually the train steadied, gathering speed as we departed Bucharest. Despite the darkness, the overpowering body-heat and the stale air, relaxation was not an option for me, for I knew if I allowed Nicolae or myself to fall we would not rise again.
As countless hours passed, thirst and a heavy bladder increasingly dominated my needs, for there was no possibility of refreshment or relief in these dire circumstances. As fatigue took its toll, it became more and more difficult to keep my eyes open. I desperately wanted to sleep, for in doing so I hoped to find temporary release from the discomfort, but dared not risk us falling.
Each time I allowed my eyes to close images of the brutal attacks upon Elone and Mama quickly filled my mind and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. In my present state of nervous shock I was, I concluded, particularly prone to bad dreams.
But in truth, as I was soon to realise, the nightmare was only just beginning.