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Progress was slow, for the irregularities of the forest floor did not make for easy passage, and I was relieved that Nicolae’s speed was not too much impeded by his cumbersome attire. On the contrary the distraction of his walking with the log around his ankle kept both children amused, their constant laughter bringing a smile to my own face, and I resolved to let him continue his game so long as our pace remained unaffected.
At length we came to a trail of sorts, wending its way between the trees, and I examined it with a discerning eye. It was not a track trodden by humans, for the marks of small hoofed beasts were evident, but it was big enough to allow our passage and I resolved we follow it a while, for it would make for easier progress and might lead to a watering hole of some sort.
Elone’s keen ears duly anticipated the sound of water and minutes later we came across a tiny stream running through the forest. It was but a small gully, ferrying a sparkling flow of rainfall from the mountains, but we were ecstatic at this discovery and fell as one upon its slight banks, cupping handfuls of the cool liquid to our lips, relishing the experience as parched throats were refreshed.
Sporadic flora had sprouted along the banks of the gully and, desperate for nourishment of any sort, I selected some coarse green leaves and we ate them quietly, obtaining some satisfaction from the motions of consumption, though they were tasteless and barely tolerable.
“Beggars cannot be choosers, little one,” I chided Nicolae as he protested the offering. “Try and eat, for I know not when we will have another chance.”
“You said we would meet the forest people and have real food,” Nicolae sulked. “This isn’t real food, Anca.”
“It is all we have, Nicolae,” Elone cautioned him. “It is better than nothing.”
I smiled at Elone, for on such occasions she seemed mature beyond her years. Her blue eyes shone out from a dirt-ridden face, her once flowing blonde hair matted to her head, and I was overcome with the urge to mother her, to clean her hair, to wipe the filth from her face, and to expose her fair skin once more.
I cupped my hand and retrieved some water from the stream, applying it gently to her face. There was no protest as I ran wet hands across her cheeks smearing the mud away. At once I wished I had not, for without the grimy mask the true nature of her, of our, physical deterioration could be seen.
Her cheeks were sallow, her complexion pale and drawn. This was not the smiling face I remembered seeing on the train from Medgidia not so long ago. This was a face tormented by malnourishment and fatigue, bearing the scars of obscenities witnessed the like of which no-one, adult or child, should ever endure.
I felt tears forming ,and suddenly was overcome with emotion. Clasping Elone to me I began to cry. She looked into my eyes with a mixture of confusion and sympathy.
“Are you hurt, Anca? Where does it hurt? I will tend it for you.”
“You are kind, Elone, but the pain is inside and cannot be reached.” I let myself sob gently on her shoulder.
She put her arms around me and hugged me tight. “Never mind, Anca. Nicolae and I will look after you while you are hurting. Did I say it right this time?”
I managed a smile and nodded my head. I could see Nicolae looking on, unsure how to respond. I remembered how Papa used to chide him for crying, suggesting it was not a masculine emotion. It was one of the few things I disagreed with my father about, although I had never dared voice such reservations. I smiled at Nicolae, seeking to reassure him.
“It’s okay, little one. I will be alright in a minute. Sometimes it helps to cry.”
Nicolae looked aghast. “Girls are always crying,” he announced, thankfully indifferent to his sister’s sorrow. He hopped around in his wooden shoe. “I am going to explore some more, Anca. Elone, are you playing exploring with me?”
Elone shook her head. “I will stay with Anca while she hurts inside. Is that okay, Anca?”
I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. “Thanks, Elone. Nicolae, do not go out of sight, do you understand? Just explore where I can see you.”
“But Anca, that’s not exploring, that’s boring,” he protested.
“You will do as you are bid, Nicolae,” I said sternly.
They were the first sharp words of reprimand I had used since we had left Mama and they had an immediate impact, for Nicolae fell silent and, with an occasional glance in my direction to confirm my gaze, elected to play well within our presence.
I felt cool water on my cheeks and realised Elone was now applying herself to the task of cleaning my own face. I could see from her filthy fingers that I bore as much grime as she and I elected to lay back and let her continue her task, not so much from vanity as from the sheer enjoyment of her tender touch.
To my side I could hear the sound of running water as the impetuous stream traced the contours of the gully, oblivious to our presence. Above me birds sang and behind me I could hear Nicolae, refreshed by the cool water and what little of the leaves he had eaten, whooping playfully. I let my eyes slowly close, soothed by Elone’s caressing fingers and the cool liquid against my skin.